Java with Juli - Making Sense of God and Sex

Hannah Nitz, co-host and conversational partner who brings pastoral and practical perspective. They explore why sex can feel like obligation, the physical and emotional barriers that make it painful or shut down desire, and how life stages, shame, and media myths distort expectations. The conversation offers hopeful, practical next steps and resources for couples seeking change.

Erin Smalley, a marriage therapist who offers practical tools for couples, and Greg Smalley, a marriage author and research-backed advisor, discuss why regular dates matter. They talk about research on weekly dates, using novelty to rekindle romance, practical habits like consistent scheduling, conversation tools, rules for date time, and creative fixes for exhausted parents.

Leslie Parrott, a marriage therapist and relationship author, and Les Parrott, a clinical psychologist and relationship expert, expand the Five Love Languages with personality, seasonal shifts, and “love tank” leaks. They explore dialects within each language, when more becomes too much, why gifts and touch aren’t one-size-fits-all, and tools to assess where a relationship really stands.

Joe Caruso, a pastor offering practical counsel on dating and covenant relationships, and Hannah Nitz, a conversational voice on relationships with a recognizable laugh, tackle living together before marriage. They explore why cohabitation rose in culture. They discuss pastoral responses, covenant versus convenience, the sliding versus deciding mindset, and options for repairing cohabiting relationships.

Brant Hansen, author and communicator on Christian living and masculinity, offers a short, vivid vision of manhood as protecting and cultivating a garden for others to flourish. He explores why culture confuses masculinity and traces its shifts. He urges embracing reality over fake stimulation, committing to long-term responsibilities, and making families emotionally safe.

Hannah Nitz, an Authentic Intimacy contributor who prompts practical conversations, and Joe Caruso, a pastor with ~20 years of pastoral experience, join the discussion. They tackle how to navigate gray areas in marital sex. Short, clear questions guide conversations about pornography, fantasy, BDSM, anal sex, and sex toys. The focus is on boundaries, fidelity, and discerning what builds up a marriage.

Bronwyn Lea, leadership coach and author of Beyond Awkward Side Hugs, rethinks male-female friendships in Christian communities. They explore why intimacy gets mistaken for sexuality. They trace Jesus' model of close, nonromantic bonds. They challenge purity culture’s fear-based rules and offer a brother-sister framework for healthier, life-giving relationships.

Hannah Nitz, conversational facilitator on sexuality and pastoral care. Joe Caruso, pastor and counseling voice on marriage and intimacy. They name four common lies about sex and unpack how they shape relationships. Short, candid conversations about covenant, chemistry myths, pornography’s impact, communication, and forgiveness.

What if your relationship with God didn't start with how broken you are—but with how beloved you are? This week, Juli is joined by Marty Solomon, host of the BEMA Podcast, to explore the difference between our Western desire to have all the answers and the Bible's invitation to mystery, curiosity, and wonder. They talk about how systematic theology can both help and hinder our faith, and why being "beloved" is more foundational than being "right." This conversation reframes how we see our humanity in light of God's steadfast love—not as a problem to fix, but as a relationship to steward. Guest: Marty Solomon Preorder Marty's new book, The Gospel of Being Human: How Asking Better Questions of the Bible Reveals Who We Are Listen to The BEMA Podcast (we recommend starting with Season 1) Follow Marty Solomon at @marty_solomon Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy

If you're trying to heal after betrayal, you may be doing everything you were taught to do—and still feel stuck. Sometimes we unintentionally sabotage our own healing—all in the name of love and forgiveness. Instead of feeling better, you end up feeling silenced, unsafe, and confused about why healing hasn't happened. Author and counselor Tammy Gustafson joins Juli to share four necessary phases of healing, and three common mistakes that actually shut it down. With clinical insight and biblical wisdom, this conversation will help you move forward with strength and hope. Guest: Tammy Gustafson, LPC Follow-up Resources: Preorder Broken to Brave: Your Courageous Act of Healing After Intimate Betrayal (comes out Jan. 27) Register for The Betrayal Healing Conference, January 26-30. (It's online and free.) Take the Betrayal Healing Quiz to find what phase of the journey you're in. Q&A: Does My Spouse Watch Porn Because of Me? Q&A: How Do I Know if My Spouse Is Repentant After a Betrayal? Thriving Despite a Difficult Marriage by Drs. Chuck and Mike Misja (for the betrayed spouse who stays in a marriage even though their spouse is not doing the work needed to heal) Follow Tammy at @tammylgustafson Follow Authentic Intimacy at @authenticintimacy