Java with Juli - Making Sense of God and Sex Marriage in Survival Mode: Why Dates Still Matter, #194
18 snips
Mar 16, 2026 
Erin Smalley, a marriage therapist who offers practical tools for couples, and Greg Smalley, a marriage author and research-backed advisor, discuss why regular dates matter. They talk about research on weekly dates, using novelty to rekindle romance, practical habits like consistent scheduling, conversation tools, rules for date time, and creative fixes for exhausted parents.
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Weekly Dates Boost Marital Satisfaction
- Consistent date nights (about once a week) correlate with higher marital satisfaction according to research Greg Smalley cites.
- Making a weekly commitment signals value to your marriage and increases investment and attention over time.
Mix Up Date Routines To Rekindle Novelty
- Do mix up your date activities to re-engage the brain circuits tied to newness and early-romance feelings.
- Try a different restaurant, venue, or activity to recreate the novelty you had when you were first dating.
Dates Keep You Current With Changing Needs
- Dates serve to keep spouses current with each other's changing inner lives rather than only being fun events.
- Regular check-ins on changing needs (health, emotions, parenting) let you ask what your partner needs now.
