The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

John Gottman, a pioneering relationship researcher, and Julie Schwartz Gottman, a clinical couples therapist, share findings from their Love Lab. They discuss how small bids for connection add up, using conflict to deepen understanding, rituals like weekly dates, and keeping curiosity alive as partners evolve. The conversation highlights practical habits that sustain long-term relationships.

Dr. Paul Eastwick, social psychologist and author studying romantic compatibility, challenges common myths about attraction. He explains why dating apps and “mate value” thinking mislead, argues compatibility often grows through interaction, and suggests widening social pools and giving connections time to develop. Expect a refreshingly hopeful take on how love can be made, not just predicted.

Tim Molnar, behavioral scientist and dating coach who wrote Date Smarter, applies social-psychology research to modern romance. He explains using success-rate heuristics to reframe rejection. He shares practical tactics: set a ‘date number,’ use implementation intentions, improve approachability, optimize photos and messages, and favor real-life, interactive settings over swipe overload.

Dr. Harry Reis, a social psychologist who studies closeness and connection, and Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, a happiness researcher and author, explore why people can be loved but not feel loved. They discuss listening skills, radical curiosity, authentic sharing, kindness, and simple conversational mindsets that deepen connection and make others feel truly seen.

Bill Burnett, Stanford adjunct and life design teacher, and Dave Evans, co-founder of the Stanford Life Design Lab and design-thinking instructor, offer practical ways to craft a more meaningful life. They discuss applying design thinking to everyday choices. They explore radical acceptance, savoring small moments, shifting from transactional to flow experiences, and building coherence and community to foster purpose.

Dr. George Newman, a Rotman School of Management professor and author on creativity, explains how ideas are often found in the world, not conjured in isolation. He discusses exploration before breakthroughs, treating creativity like archaeology, using constraints and transplantation across domains. He also covers systematic search methods, AI as a tool, and how to evaluate and persist with ideas.

In this captivating discussion, David Brooks, a renowned author and New York Times columnist, dives into the contrast between resume virtues and eulogy virtues. He challenges the obsession with quantifying success, emphasizing the importance of kindness and character development through daily habits. Brooks advocates for embracing discomfort to foster personal growth and the value of local service in strengthening communities. He also explores how making others feel seen is vital for connection, revealing practical steps to reconnect with our passions and get unstuck.

Dr. Maya Shankar, a cognitive scientist and author known for her insights on navigating life changes, shares powerful wisdom on managing life's curveballs. She discusses the terrifying nature of unexpected shifts like breakups and job losses, emphasizing how they challenge our sense of control. Maya introduces concepts like self-affirmation and moral elevation to help expand our possible identities after change. She also highlights techniques for managing emotions, tolerating uncertainty, and breaking free from rumination, encouraging a transformative approach to adversity.

Dr. Diana Hill, a clinical psychologist and author of Wise Effort, shares insights on how to channel our energy more effectively. She discusses the importance of psychological flexibility over relentless effort, encouraging listeners to re-evaluate commitments through the lens of the sunk cost fallacy. Dr. Hill emphasizes curiosity as a tool for discovering new possibilities and promotes journaling to gain perspective. She highlights the role of values in guiding energy allocation and introduces practical strategies for embracing discomfort while pursuing what truly matters.

Join Rainn Wilson, actor from The Office and host of the Soul Boom podcast, as he shares his insights on holiday stress and the significance of meaningful traditions. He emphasizes the importance of thoughtful gifts—favoring experiences and connection over consumerism. Rainn tackles workaholism and suggests setting boundaries by limiting phone usage to enhance presence. With a focus on gratitude and creating rituals, he invites listeners to cultivate awe through nature, ensuring a more fulfilling and joyful holiday season.