The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos Inside the Love Lab with Drs. John & Julie Gottman (Part 1)
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Mar 2, 2026 
John Gottman, a pioneering relationship researcher, and Julie Schwartz Gottman, a clinical couples therapist, share findings from their Love Lab. They discuss how small bids for connection add up, using conflict to deepen understanding, rituals like weekly dates, and keeping curiosity alive as partners evolve. The conversation highlights practical habits that sustain long-term relationships.
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Love Moves From Chemistry To Trust
- Love shifts from honeymoon chemistry to ongoing trust building.
- John Gottman explains partners test each other across moods and challenges, and sustaining trust predicts long-term relationship success.
Tiny Bids Predict Big Relationship Fate
- Small bids for connection predict relationship outcomes.
- Couples who later divorced turned toward bids only 33% of the time while stable couples turned toward 86% of the time, per Gottman lab data.
Turn Toward Your Partner's Bids
- Do turn toward your partner's bids with attention and interest.
- John Gottman demonstrates with a dream/bird example: immediate, curious responses (turning toward) create connection versus silence or hostility.
