How Not To Suck At Divorce

Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport

Get divorce advice that most attorneys aren't giving. We break down unpopular divorce opinions and practical divorce tips that can save you thousands of dollars in legal fees, reduce stress, and help you avoid costly mistakes.
How Not to Suck at Divorce is the divorce podcast for people who want clarity, strategy, and support.
Hosted by powerhouse family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill, head of family law at the largest firm in the country, and comedian-turned-marketing-guru Andrea Rappaport, this show helps you avoid the most common (and costly) divorce mistakes while protecting your kids, your finances, and your sanity.

Each episode breaks down what actually matters during divorce—custody, co-parenting, negotiations, communication, and decision-making—using real-world examples, practical tools, and a refreshingly honest approach. You’ll learn what to tell your lawyer (and what to tell your friends), how to manage emotions without letting them derail your case, and how to move forward even when the process isn’t over.

Whether you’re thinking about divorce, in the middle of it, or trying to rebuild your life after, How Not to Suck at Divorce gives you the information you need, the validation you deserve, and the confidence to make better decisions—one step at a time.
Morgan Stogsdill has seen every curveball, knows the difference between drama and strategy, and helps clients avoid costly mistakes. Andrea Rappaport has made the exact painful mistakes we beg you not to repeat.

What We Cover

Should I stay or should I go? Decision-making frameworks, acronyms, and step-by-step exercises for clarity.

Co-parenting and high-conflict personalities. We unpack narcissist dynamics, manipulation tactics, and non-reactive communication. (We even created a framework called “WTF” to help you remember it when your brain is on fire.)

The BIFF method and conflict de-escalation. With Bill Eddy of the High Conflict Institute, we translate his tools into real-world texts and emails you can send without blowing up your case.

Tech safety and AI mistakes. Steven Bradley, former FBI agent and digital safety expert

Prenups, financial transparency, and power dynamics. Guests like Katie Post share what to include, what to avoid, and how to start the conversation before things go off the rails.

That’s our recipe: expert interviews + practical tools + humor that keeps you breathing. Episodes are short enough for a dog walk but deep enough to change your next decision.

Who You’ll Hear

Bill Eddy (High Conflict Institute): BIFF and EAR techniques, parallel parenting, and communication guardrails.

Steven Bradley (former FBI “Tech Cowboy”): Digital breadcrumbs, evidence handling, and how AI can backfire in divorce.

Dr. Nadine Macaluso (therapist, trauma specialist): Love-bombing, trauma bonds, and healing after divorce.

Joanna Strober (Midi Health): Resilience, perimenopause, career pivots, and financial autonomy.

Core Topics
Divorce Strategy & Family Law: prenups, mediation vs. litigation, custody agreements, relocation, settlement strategy.
High-Conflict & Safety: coercive control, gaslighting, BIFF, protective orders, tech hygiene. Co-Parenting & Parallel Parenting: calendars, school/holiday schedules, and communication protocols. Money & Power: financial disclosure, tracing assets, budgeting, and managing fees.Mindset & Mental Health: compartmentalizing, trigger management, boundary scripts, and choosing the right therapist or coach.

Our show is both resourceful and entertaining. You’ll laugh, take notes, and walk away feeling less alone. How Not to Suck at Divorce has become a trusted resource worldwide.

Whether you’re in the middle of a divorce, just considering it, or rebuilding afterward, this podcast helps you breathe easier, protect your sanity, and avoid the mistakes that cost people the most.

You’ll get through this. We promise. You’ve got this… and we’ve got you.

Episodes

Mentioned books

Apr 1, 2026 • 9min

201. Real Life Divorce Support: 3 Things to do When You Want to Throat Punch Your Ex (Mini Episode)

Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseRate our show! www.ratethispodcast.com/notsuckDivorce can bring out emotions you didn’t even know you had. One minute you're trying to stay calm and take the high road, and the next minute you’re imagining what it would feel like to throat punch your ex. If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport talks about what to do when your ex pushes you to your absolute emotional limit. While it might feel satisfying in the moment to lash out, reacting emotionally during the divorce process can make your case more complicated—and a lot more expensive.Instead of reacting impulsively, there are a few powerful ways to redirect that anger and turn it into something far more productive.In this episode, you’ll learn three practical ways to manage intense emotions during divorce, avoid unnecessary conflict, and stay focused on the bigger picture: protecting your outcome and your future.What You'll Learn in This EpisodeWhy reacting emotionally during divorce can backfire legally and financiallyHow writing the angry email you’ll never send can help release frustrationThe importance of shifting from emotional reaction to strategic thinkingWhy understanding your ex’s motivations can help you respond more effectivelyHow moving your energy into action can help regulate intense emotions during divorce3 Things to Do Instead of Throat Punching Your Ex1. Write the email you want to send—but don’t send it. Get the anger out. Write exactly what you want to say. Just don’t hit send. Emotional messages during divorce can easily become evidence that complicates your case.2. Think, don’t feel. When your ex does something that makes you furious, pause and ask yourself: what are they actually trying to accomplish? Understanding their strategy can help you respond more effectively instead of reacting emotionally.3. Do anything that moves the energy out of your body. Anger is energy. Go for a walk, organize something, run an errand, take a class—anything that helps you move through the emotion instead of sitting in it.Divorce Is Emotional—But Strategy MattersDivorce can sometimes feel like psychological warfare. But the more you can shift from emotional reaction to strategic decision-making, the better your outcome will be.A moment of anger may feel satisfying in the short term, but preparation and clear thinking will serve you much better throughout the divorce process.As Andrea says in this episode:Plan more. Cry less.Need More Support During Divorce?If you feel like your divorce process is happening faster than you can keep up with, the Divorce Crash Course can help.Inside the course, we break down the strategy behind divorce—from finances and working with your attorney to custody agreements and avoiding the biggest mistakes people make during the process.The goal is simple: help you protect your sanity, your finances, and your future.Resources MentionedThe Divorce Crash CourseThe How Not to Suck at Divorce private communityAbout the PodcastHow Not to Suck at Divorce helps people navigate divorce with clarity, strategy, and support. Hosted by Andrea Rappaport and family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill, the podcast breaks down the legal, financial, and emotional realities of divorce in plain English—so you can avoid costly mistakes and move forward with confidence.Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago

Mar 27, 2026 • 27min

200. What Your Divorce Attorney Is Really Saying (And How to Tell if Your Lawyer Is a Bad Communicator)

Get the NEW Divorce Crash Course right here!Ever read an email from your divorce attorney and think:“What the hell does that even mean?”You’re not alone.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, hosts Andrea Rappaport and Morgan L. Stogsdill break down the confusing world of legal jargon, attorney shorthand, and “lawyer speak” that leaves so many divorce clients feeling lost.If your attorney has ever said things like:“We’ll reserve that issue.”“Opposing counsel is being unreasonable.”“The judge may not view this favorably.”“We need more discovery.”…and you nodded along while secretly thinking “am I winning or am I getting screwed?” — this episode is for you.Morgan translates the most common divorce lawyer phrases into plain English, while Andrea asks the questions every client is secretly thinking.You’ll also learn how to tell the difference between normal legal communication and a lawyer who simply isn’t communicating well.Because understanding your divorce strategy isn’t a luxury — it’s your right.What You'll Learn in This Episode✔ What lawyers actually mean when they say “we’ll reserve that issue” ✔ Why divorce attorneys avoid giving 100% certainty about outcomes ✔ The real meaning behind “the judge may not view this favorably” ✔ Why discovery is one of the most misunderstood parts of divorce ✔ How to tell if your attorney is explaining strategy clearly ✔ Red flags that signal a bad communicator (or worse) ✔ When it might be time to get a second legal opinionDivorce Lawyer Phrases TranslatedMorgan and Andrea break down common phrases you may hear from your divorce attorney:“That’s not something we want to concede.” Translation: Not necessarily a “no” — but definitely not right now.“We’ll reserve that issue.” Translation: The decision is being pushed down the road until more information is available.“The judge may not view this favorably.” Translation: This could seriously backfire in court.“Opposing counsel is being unreasonable.” Translation: Something behind the scenes is slowing the process down.“We need more discovery.” Translation: We need documents, financials, or evidence to support your case.Green Flags: Signs You Have a Great Divorce LawyerA strong divorce attorney should be able to explain:• What is happening in your case • Why it matters • What your options are • The risks and rewards of each choice • The strategy moving forward • The potential cost of each moveA good lawyer explains things like they’re talking to their neighbor — not lecturing a law school class.Red Flags in Attorney CommunicationIf you consistently feel:⚠ More confused after speaking with your lawyer ⚠ Like your questions are dismissed ⚠ Intimidated for asking clarification ⚠ Unsure of the strategy ⚠ Like you’re being told to “just trust me”…it may be time to reconsider the relationship.Questions You Should Ask Your Divorce LawyerIf something doesn’t make sense, try asking:• “Can you explain that in plain English?” • “What does that mean for my case specifically?” • “What’s the best-case and worst-case scenario?” • “What’s the strategy behind this?” • “Is this something judges typically approve?” • “How will this affect my legal fees?”You deserve to understand the process and the plan.When It Might Be Time for a Second OpinionGetting another legal perspective is not a betrayal.Consider a second opinion if:Communication is unclearStrategy hasn’t been explainedYou feel dismissed or confusedYour gut says something isn’t rightGreat lawyers aren’t threatened by second opinions — they welcome informed clients.Resources Mentioned💡 The Divorce Crash Course (DCC) The step-by-step strategy guide to navigating divorce with clarity.💬 Join our private community for support, resources, and conversations about divorce.Listen If You're WonderingWhy does my divorce lawyer speak in legal jargon?What does discovery mean in divorce?How do I know if my attorney is doing a good job?Should I get a second opinion from another divorce lawyer?Why won’t my lawyer give a clear answer?Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

Mar 25, 2026 • 18min

199. Divorce Advice That Will Save You Thousands And Some Humor that Will Save You Sanity

Mar 20, 2026 • 30min

198. Divorce SOS: How to Respond to Threats and Aggressive Emails

How to Respond to Threats and Aggressive Emails During Divorce: 2 Acronyms That Can Save Your SanityDivorce can make even the calmest person feel like they are about to unravel.One inflammatory text. One manipulative email. One last-minute demand from your soon-to-be ex.And suddenly your nervous system is on fire.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport share two simple acronyms designed to help you stop spiraling, regulate your nervous system, and decide whether a response is actually necessary.If you are dealing with high-conflict divorce communication, threatening messages, co-parenting drama, or an ex who knows exactly how to push your buttons, this episode will give you practical tools you can use immediately.Because when your ex is trying to bait you, your best move is not to react — it’s to get strategic.In This Episode, We Talk About:how to respond to threatening emails during divorcewhat to do when your ex sends an inflammatory texthow to stop emotional spiraling during divorcewhy your nervous system reacts so strongly to conflictthe best way to pause before responding to your exhow to tell if a message actually requires a responsewhen to call your divorce attorney and when not tohow to communicate strategically in a high-conflict divorcewhy not every “urgent” message is truly urgenthow co-parenting apps like Our Family Wizard can reduce stressWhy Divorce Communication Feels So TriggeringWhen you’re going through a divorce, communication with your ex is rarely neutral.Even a simple message can feel loaded. A text about travel, money, or the kids can instantly send your brain into panic mode — especially if the wording feels aggressive, manipulative, or threatening.Andrea explains that this is often a nervous system response. Your body reacts as though you are under attack, even if the threat is emotional rather than physical.That is why so many people:fire off emotional responsesregret what they wrote laterfeel hijacked by anxietyspend hours spiraling over one messageThis episode teaches listeners how to interrupt that pattern before it hurts their peace — or their case.Acronym #1: STOPThe first tool Morgan and Andrea teach is STOP, a simple framework designed to help listeners stop the immediate emotional unraveling.S — StopLiterally stop.Do not react. Do not respond. Do not keep ruminating.Say the word out loud if you have to:Stop.T — TemperatureChange your temperature to help regulate your nervous system.Andrea explains that cold temperature can help bring your system back online.Examples include:holding iceputting ice on your wristsdrinking ice-cold waterusing an ice roller on your faceO — OxygenBreathe.When people are triggered, they often hold their breath, tense up, and make the spiral worse.The key is to exhale first, then let yourself breathe back in.P — PriorityYour priority is your mental wellbeing, not firing back at your ex.Most messages do not require an immediate response.This is where listeners are reminded to give themselves at least an hour before doing anything.Why You Should Never Respond in the Same Emotional StateMorgan explains that when people respond too quickly, it is often obvious to attorneys, judges, and anyone reading the email that they got baited.That matters.Fast, emotional responses can:escalate conflictmake you look reactivestrengthen the other person’s sense of controlpotentially hurt your caseWhen someone knows they can trigger you instantly, they are more likely to keep doing it.That’s why creating time between the message and the response is such an important strategy in divorce communication.Acronym #2: THREATThe second acronym in the episode helps listeners figure out whether a response is warranted at all — and if so, how to respond strategically.T — TimingAsk yourself:Does this message actually need a response?If it does, do I need to respond today?The answer is often no.H — Highlight the parts that actually matterPull out the parts of the message that involve:your childrenmedical decisionsschedulingextracurricularsactual legal issuesIgnore the inflammatory filler.R — Redline the BSMorgan and Andrea encourage listeners to mentally cross out the emotional garbage.Most threatening divorce emails are full of:baitingexaggerationpersonal attacksirrelevant accusationsAndrea says it best:Most threatening emails are 80% emotional dribble-drabble garbage and only 20% actual legal issues.E — Emotionless evaluation of the factsLook at the message again without emotion and ask:Is there any actual merit here?Is anything true?Is there something that genuinely needs attention?A — Ask your attorneyIf the issue has merit or is really weighing on you, this is where your attorney comes in.Morgan reminds listeners that sometimes spending money on your lawyer is worth it for peace of mind and strategy.T — Take the strategic routeOnce you’ve gone through the steps above, you can decide whether:you should respondwhen you should respondhow you should respondThat is strategy. Not reactivity.High-Conflict Divorce Communication: Why Strategy MattersThis episode is especially helpful for people dealing with high-conflict divorce, difficult co-parenting communication, or an ex who weaponizes timing and urgency.Morgan gives an example of a co-parent suddenly demanding an answer about international travel for the kids and insisting that tickets need to be booked immediately.That kind of message can trigger panic fast.But the point of the THREAT framework is to help listeners separate:true urgencyparenting agreement languagelegal issuesmanipulative pressureSo they can make decisions from clarity instead of fear.Our Family Wizard and How to Reduce Divorce Communication StressMorgan and Andrea also talk about Our Family Wizard, a co-parenting app that can help reduce stress by limiting when messages come through.One feature they highlight is the ability to control what time of day you receive messages from your co-parent.That can be incredibly helpful for people who know they are more emotionally vulnerable at certain times of day.For anyone navigating co-parenting after divorce, using structured communication tools can help reduce conflict and protect mental health.Why This Episode MattersThis episode does something so many divorce resources fail to do:It doesn’t just tell people to “stay calm.”It gives them actual tools to use in the exact moment they’re triggered.And that matters because divorce is not just a legal process. It is an emotional, physiological, and psychological stressor.When someone knows how to:regulate their nervous systempause before reactingidentify what really mattersrespond strategicallythey are far less likely to make costly mistakes.Key TakeawayYou do not have to respond to every message from your ex as though it is an emergency.You do not have to unravel every time they try to bait you.And you do not have to let their words control your peace, your parenting, or your case.Use STOP to calm your system. Use THREAT to evaluate the message. And then choose the strategic route.That is how you protect yourself during divorce.Resources Mentioned in This EpisodeOur Family WizardThe Divorce Crash CourseNew guides and resources on the How Not to Suck at Divorce websiteThe How Not to Suck at Divorce private communityAbout How Not to Suck at DivorceHow Not to Suck at Divorce is a divorce podcast hosted by family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport.The show offers practical divorce advice, legal insight, co-parenting strategies, and real-life support for people navigating one of the hardest seasons of their lives.If you are dealing with divorce, custody, communication conflict, or emotional overwhelm, this podcast is here to help you feel less alone — and more prepared.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.YouTubePinterestPrivate CommunityInstagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

Mar 18, 2026 • 23min

197. 5 Things You Should NEVER Do During a Divorce- And an Embarrasing Story- Mini Episode

Divorce is emotional. It's stressful. And if you're not careful, it can also become incredibly expensive.In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport shares five things you should absolutely never do during a divorce — from serious legal mistakes that can impact your case to a few embarrassing (but very real) moments she experienced during her own divorce.Because when emotions are running high, it’s easy to make decisions that feel good in the moment but can create bigger problems later.Whether you're navigating divorce right now or trying to prepare for what lies ahead, these practical tips will help you avoid common pitfalls and stay focused on what actually matters.Why Divorce Mistakes Can Cost You More Than You ThinkOne of the hardest parts of divorce is that you’re making major legal and financial decisions while under extreme emotional stress.During this episode, Andrea explains why some of the most common divorce mistakes happen when people:react emotionally instead of strategicallyrely on advice from the wrong sourcesallow their ex to provoke them into conflictbring outside people into the legal dramaLearning how to pause, reset, and respond thoughtfully can save you thousands of dollars in attorney’s fees — and a lot of unnecessary stress.The 5 Divorce Mistakes You Should Never Make1. Taking Legal Advice From Friends Who Got Divorced in Another State (or Another Decade)Divorce laws vary dramatically depending on where you live and when the divorce occurs.Andrea explains why taking advice from a friend who was divorced years ago — or in another state — can create unrealistic expectations and costly confusion.For example:Some states are more likely to award long-term alimonyOther states focus on short-term rehabilitative supportProperty division laws vary significantly across jurisdictionsRelying on outdated or out-of-state advice can lead to misunderstandings and expensive conversations with your attorney.2. Speaking in Court When No One Asked You ToDivorce court can be intimidating — especially in the age of virtual hearings.Andrea shares a hilarious (and slightly humiliating) story about accidentally unmuting herself during a Zoom court hearing when the judge was actually addressing an attorney with the same last name.Lesson learned:Never unmute yourself in court unless the judge is speaking directly to you.3. Responding to Threatening Emails ImmediatelyWhen you're in the middle of a divorce, aggressive emails or legal threats can trigger an emotional reaction.But responding immediately is one of the biggest mistakes you can make.Research shows it takes about 20 minutes for your nervous system to reset after a stressful event.Andrea recommends waiting at least an hour before responding, and using that time to regulate your body with simple strategies like:taking a walkdrinking ice-cold waterholding ice to your wristsdoing quick bursts of physical movementResponding calmly and strategically is always better than reacting emotionally.4. Bringing Your New Relationship Into the Divorce DramaDating during divorce happens more often than people admit.But involving your new partner in the details of your divorce can create unnecessary complications.Andrea explains why bringing your new love interest into legal conflicts can:create loyalty conflictsgenerate bad adviceescalate emotional tensionInstead, keep your dating life separate from the legal process whenever possible.5. Believing the Negative Things Your Ex Says About YouPerhaps the most important advice in this episode:Do not internalize the hurtful things your soon-to-be ex says about you during the divorce process.In many cases, these comments are designed to weaken your confidence or gain leverage in negotiations.Divorce is not the time to determine your self-worth.Your job right now is simply to survive the process and move forward.Healing and personal growth come later — after the legal storm has passed.Divorce Is a Marathon, Not a SprintDivorce often feels like an emotional roller coaster.Some days you’ll feel strong and hopeful. Other days you’ll feel completely overwhelmed.That’s normal.The most important thing to remember is that you are not alone in this process.The How Not to Suck at Divorce podcast exists to provide practical divorce advice, real-life experiences, and the support you need to navigate this difficult chapter with confidence.Coming Up Next on the PodcastIn this week’s full episode, Andrea and Morgan introduce two powerful acronyms designed to help you:respond to threats during divorcemanage aggressive communicationprotect your case while staying calmIf you struggle with how to respond to your ex during divorce, you won’t want to miss it.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

Mar 13, 2026 • 40min

196. Divorce Questions Answered: Alimony, Custody, Community Property, GALs. Avoid Major Mistakes.

Real answers to the financial, parenting, and legal questions keeping you up at night.If you’re going through a divorce, chances are you’ve asked yourself at least one of these questions:Who keeps the house?Do I have to pay alimony?What happens if my ex won’t cooperate?How does a GAL affect custody?What counts as marital property after separation?In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea and Morgan answer real divorce questions submitted by members of their private community. From community property and spousal support to 50/50 parenting schedules, marital settlement agreements, home sales, custody concerns, and separation, this episode covers the kinds of issues that keep people up at night during divorce.This is an honest, practical, and empowering conversation designed to help you think more strategically, ask better questions, and make smarter decisions during the divorce process.In this episode, we discuss:What happens to business assets and property in divorceWhether keeping finances separate during marriage really protects an assetWhat to know about community property vs. separate propertyHow alimony, maintenance, or spousal support may be determinedWhether a salary increase can affect alimonyWhat to include in a divorce agreement if your ex may stop paying supportHow to think about custody, 50/50 parenting schedules, and parenting plan logisticsWhat a GAL (guardian ad litem) does in a divorce or custody caseHow to present concerns about the other parent without sounding reactiveWhether a spouse who moved out still has to help pay bills, utilities, or repairsWhat happens when an ex refuses to cooperate with the sale of the marital homeWhether retirement assets can be used to buy out a spouse’s share of the houseWhy having the right strategy with your attorney can save money and stressKey takeaways from this divorce Q&ADivorce is rarely just about one issue. It is often a mix of legal questions, emotional stress, parenting concerns, and financial uncertainty all happening at once.In this episode, Morgan explains why it is so important to be proactive, not reactive during divorce. Whether you are dealing with custody, alimony, property division, a difficult ex, or a confusing settlement agreement, the more informed and prepared you are, the better decisions you can make.Andrea also shares an important reminder for anyone deep in divorce stress: sometimes you do not need to blow up your life or make a dramatic change. Sometimes you just need a break, a reset, and a strategy.If you’re struggling with divorce right now…This episode is for you if you are:feeling overwhelmed by the divorce processworried about making the wrong financial decisionconfused about custody or parenting issuesdealing with an uncooperative exunsure what questions to ask your lawyertrying to figure out what is actually worth fighting forBecause divorce is not one-size-fits-all. And sometimes the biggest source of anxiety is simply not having enough information.Mentioned in this episodeOur Family Wizard – a co-parenting communication app often respected by courtsThe How Not to Suck at Divorce private communityThe upcoming Divorce Crash Course, including guidance on how to communicate more effectively with your attorneyAbout How Not to Suck at DivorceIf you’re going through a divorce or thinking about divorce, this podcast is here to help you avoid major divorce mistakes and move through the process with more clarity, confidence, and support.Hosted by Morgan Stogsdill, head of family law at the largest family law firm in the country, and Andrea Rappaport, comedian and marketing expert, How Not to Suck at Divorce combines legal insight, real-life perspective, and humor to help make divorce feel a little less overwhelming.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

Mar 11, 2026 • 12min

195. Divorce Feels Impossible Right Now- But It Gets Better (A Real Story) Mini Episode

Divorce can feel overwhelming, lonely, and emotionally devastating. In fact, during the process it can feel like your entire life has fallen apart — like there’s no way things will ever feel normal again.But what if they do?In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan shares a real story about a client who struggled deeply during his divorce. At the time, he couldn’t imagine life without his marriage and could barely engage in the divorce process.Fast forward a few years, and his life looks completely different.This episode is a reminder that even when divorce feels impossible, there truly is light at the end of the tunnel.If you’re in the middle of divorce, newly divorced, or feeling stuck in the emotional aftermath, this episode is for you.What We Discuss in This EpisodeWhy divorce can feel emotionally debilitatingThe intense fear, overwhelm, and uncertainty that come with ending a marriageA real-life story of a client who struggled deeply during divorceWhy some people shut down during the divorce processHow life can change dramatically in the years after divorceWhy time truly is one of the most powerful healing toolsHow small steps and mindset shifts help you move forwardThe Truth About Divorce That People Don’t Talk AboutDuring divorce, many people feel:Paralyzed by fearOverwhelmed by decisionsEmotionally exhaustedUnsure what life will look like nextIt’s completely normal.Divorce isn’t just legal paperwork or financial negotiations — it’s a major emotional and mental transition.But as Morgan explains, even clients who struggle the most during divorce often look back years later and realize something powerful:Life didn’t fall apart — it changed, and in many cases, it got better.If You're Going Through Divorce Right NowIf you’re listening and thinking:"That might happen for someone else, but not for me."Take a breath.The truth is that healing from divorce doesn’t happen overnight. Sometimes it happens slowly — one hour, one day, one step at a time.But you will not feel this way forever.RememberEven when divorce feels like the hardest thing you’ve ever gone through:You are still standing. You are still moving forward. And you will get through this.You’ve got this.And we’ve got you.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

Mar 6, 2026 • 49min

194. Divorce After an Affair: How to Protect Your Divorce Strategy When Betrayal Wrecks Your Brain

An affair can destroy your marriage — but it does not have to destroy your divorce strategy.In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, family law attorney Morgan Stogsdill and comedian Andrea Rappaport tackle one of the most emotionally explosive divorce triggers: infidelity. Joined by therapist and Now What? podcast host Amy Neufeld, we break down what betrayal does to your nervous system, why your brain goes into survival mode, and how that can lead to expensive, irreversible divorce mistakes.If you’re going through divorce after an affair, this conversation will help you understand what’s happening in your body and mind — and give you practical action steps so you can make smarter decisions around custody, finances, and communication.In this episode, we cover:Why an affair can’t destroy your divorce strategy unless you let emotions run the caseThe “Chad and Brenda” story: how revenge spending and legal warfare can implode the marital estateWhy infidelity is often attachment trauma (and why it feels like physical pain)What betrayal does to your brain: hypervigilance, panic, shutdown, and intrusive imagesThe 3 common responses to betrayal: attack, despair, or detachmentWhy anger can feel productive — but still cloud judgment during divorce negotiationsThe unpopular truth: divorce lawyers can fire clients, especially when trauma turns into sabotageHow to stop using the legal system for emotional relief (and why courts can’t “make it right”)Amy’s practical “Now What?” tools to stabilize after betrayal:Routine to rebuild predictabilityContain the pain so it doesn’t take over your entire daySeparate facts from your story to calm your nervous system and make clearer decisionsWhy “the story” can create collateral damage (friends, family, custody dynamics)Co-parenting boundaries: why tools like OurFamilyWizard can help reduce conflict and document patternsThe mic-drop takeaway: An affair is an event. The story you build around it can shape the next decade of your life.If you’re in the middle of divorce after cheating…This episode is for you if you’re:Struggling to eat, sleep, or think straightFeeling consumed by intrusive thoughts or mental imagesTorn between revenge and “doing the right thing”Afraid you’ll make a decision you’ll regret financially or with custodyTrying to co-parent while you’re still emotionally floodedAction Steps from this episodeBuild one predictable routine you can repeat dailyCreate a daily window to contain the pain (even 5 minutes counts)Write down what’s fact vs story so your brain stops spiralingAvoid processing betrayal in court — process it with a qualified trauma-trained therapistUse structured communication to protect yourself during co-parentingGuest: Amy Neufeld — Therapist, Founder of Intentional Action Therapy, Host of Now What?Website: amyneufeldtherapy.comPodcast: Now What? https://pod.link/1881151960Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

Mar 4, 2026 • 15min

193. When I Knew It Was Time to Leave My Marriage: Personal Divorce Story- Mini Episode

How do you know when it’s truly time to leave your marriage?In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Andrea Rappaport shares the deeply personal story of how she knew her marriage was over — and the warning signs she ignored long before she finally said the words, “I want a divorce.”Andrea talks openly about the quiet red flags that started as whispers, the gut feelings she tried to ignore, and the emotional toll of staying in a relationship that wasn’t healthy or sustainable. If you’re questioning your marriage, feeling lonely in your relationship, or wondering if divorce might be the right next step, this episode offers an honest and compassionate perspective.Sometimes the hardest part of divorce isn’t the legal process — it’s acknowledging what your heart has already been trying to tell you.This episode is about learning to listen to those whispers before they become screams.In This EpisodeAndrea shares:The early red flags she ignored while datingWhy unhealthy relationships can feel familiar and “normal”The emotional experience of living in a marriage that doesn’t feel rightWhat it feels like to avoid going home because the relationship feels so lonelyWhy many people stay in marriages long after they know something is wrongThe moment Andrea finally said “I want a divorce”Why gathering information about divorce can help you feel more empoweredThe importance of having a safe place to talk about what you're going throughIf You’re Wondering Whether It’s Time to Leave Your MarriageIf you're asking yourself questions like:Is my marriage over?Why do I feel so lonely in my relationship?How do I know when it's time to get divorced?What does it feel like when a marriage isn't working anymore?You are not alone. Many people experience the same doubts, fears, and emotional confusion before deciding to leave a marriage.This episode offers a reminder that listening to your instincts and seeking support can help you navigate one of the hardest decisions of your life.Resources MentionedIf you're thinking about divorce, these steps can help you start gathering information and support:Speak with a therapist or trusted professionalTalk to a divorce attorney to understand your optionsConnect with a supportive community of people going through similar experiencesContinue learning about the divorce process so you can make informed decisionsAbout the PodcastHow Not to Suck at Divorce is hosted by Morgan Stogsdill, head of family law at one of the largest family law firms in the country, and comedian Andrea Rappaport.Each episode helps people navigate divorce with expert guidance, honest conversations, and practical advice so you can avoid the biggest divorce mistakes.Divorce may be overwhelming, but you don’t have to go through it alone.Final ReminderDivorce is a marathon, not a sprint.Some days you need information. Other days you just need to feel seen and heard.And if you're listening to this episode and questioning your marriage, know this:You deserve happiness.And remember:You've got this… and we've got you.Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

Feb 27, 2026 • 15min

192. 5 People Who Suck at Divorce More Than You- Mini Episode

If you think you’re messing up your divorce… relax.In this mini episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, Morgan Stogsdill and Andrea Rappaport bring you a much-needed mental break with five outrageous, real-life divorce stories that prove one thing:No matter how chaotic your situation feels… someone is doing it worse.From a $15,000 bedazzled Buddha that cost double to fight over in court, to a couple who spent $100,000 litigating an ashtray (yes, really), to a husband who tried to avoid divorce by claiming he was technically a zombie — this episode highlights the wildest ways people derail their own divorce cases.Because here’s the truth: divorce is emotional, but court is not.And when pettiness, revenge, or ego drive decisions, the only real winner is the attorney bill.In This Episode, We Cover:Why fighting over sentimental items can cost more than they’re worthThe $100,000 ashtray case (and why judges lose patience)The legal consequences of “in-game crime” during divorceThe Beyoncé “To the Left” security system revenge momentThe infamous “zombie defense” divorce caseWhy judges see more chaos than you realizeHow not to let ego drive your legal strategyWhile this mini episode brings humor, the underlying message is serious:✔️ Petty fights cost real money✔️ Emotional reactions extend litigation✔️ Judges have seen everything — including wackadoo defenses✔️ Revenge may feel good, but it rarely plays well in court✔️ Strategy > spectacleDivorce can feel overwhelming, nauseating, and heavy. Sometimes you need a break — and sometimes you need perspective.If you’re doggy-paddling through your divorce, consider this your reminder:You are not alone.You are not the most chaotic case in the courthouse.And you can absolutely get through this.Resources MentionedJoin our free, confidential divorce communityCheck out the updated Divorce Crash CourseExplore our downloadable divorce guidebooksOur Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-courseOur Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuckFriends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorceFollow Andrea: @theandrearappaportFollow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicagoMentioned in this episode:Natural Cycles When your body feels unpredictable, your decisions shouldn’t have to be. Get insight and clarity with NC° Perimenopause. Visit Naturalcycles.app/divorce to learn more and save on a subscription and wearable.Natural Cycles

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