How Not To Suck At Divorce 200. What Your Divorce Attorney Is Really Saying (And How to Tell if Your Lawyer Is a Bad Communicator)
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Ever read an email from your divorce attorney and think:
“What the hell does that even mean?”
You’re not alone.
In this episode of How Not to Suck at Divorce, hosts Andrea Rappaport and Morgan L. Stogsdill break down the confusing world of legal jargon, attorney shorthand, and “lawyer speak” that leaves so many divorce clients feeling lost.
If your attorney has ever said things like:
- “We’ll reserve that issue.”
- “Opposing counsel is being unreasonable.”
- “The judge may not view this favorably.”
- “We need more discovery.”
…and you nodded along while secretly thinking “am I winning or am I getting screwed?” — this episode is for you.
Morgan translates the most common divorce lawyer phrases into plain English, while Andrea asks the questions every client is secretly thinking.
You’ll also learn how to tell the difference between normal legal communication and a lawyer who simply isn’t communicating well.
Because understanding your divorce strategy isn’t a luxury — it’s your right.
What You'll Learn in This Episode
✔ What lawyers actually mean when they say “we’ll reserve that issue”
✔ Why divorce attorneys avoid giving 100% certainty about outcomes
✔ The real meaning behind “the judge may not view this favorably”
✔ Why discovery is one of the most misunderstood parts of divorce
✔ How to tell if your attorney is explaining strategy clearly
✔ Red flags that signal a bad communicator (or worse)
✔ When it might be time to get a second legal opinion
Divorce Lawyer Phrases Translated
Morgan and Andrea break down common phrases you may hear from your divorce attorney:
“That’s not something we want to concede.”
Translation: Not necessarily a “no” — but definitely not right now.
“We’ll reserve that issue.”
Translation: The decision is being pushed down the road until more information is available.
“The judge may not view this favorably.”
Translation: This could seriously backfire in court.
“Opposing counsel is being unreasonable.”
Translation: Something behind the scenes is slowing the process down.
“We need more discovery.”
Translation: We need documents, financials, or evidence to support your case.
Green Flags: Signs You Have a Great Divorce Lawyer
A strong divorce attorney should be able to explain:
• What is happening in your case
• Why it matters
• What your options are
• The risks and rewards of each choice
• The strategy moving forward
• The potential cost of each move
A good lawyer explains things like they’re talking to their neighbor — not lecturing a law school class.
Red Flags in Attorney Communication
If you consistently feel:
⚠ More confused after speaking with your lawyer
⚠ Like your questions are dismissed
⚠ Intimidated for asking clarification
⚠ Unsure of the strategy
⚠ Like you’re being told to “just trust me”
…it may be time to reconsider the relationship.
Questions You Should Ask Your Divorce Lawyer
If something doesn’t make sense, try asking:
• “Can you explain that in plain English?”
• “What does that mean for my case specifically?”
• “What’s the best-case and worst-case scenario?”
• “What’s the strategy behind this?”
• “Is this something judges typically approve?”
• “How will this affect my legal fees?”
You deserve to understand the process and the plan.
When It Might Be Time for a Second Opinion
Getting another legal perspective is not a betrayal.
Consider a second opinion if:
- Communication is unclear
- Strategy hasn’t been explained
- You feel dismissed or confused
- Your gut says something isn’t right
Great lawyers aren’t threatened by second opinions — they welcome informed clients.
Resources Mentioned
💡 The Divorce Crash Course (DCC)
The step-by-step strategy guide to navigating divorce with clarity.
💬 Join our private community for support, resources, and conversations about divorce.
Listen If You're Wondering
- Why does my divorce lawyer speak in legal jargon?
- What does discovery mean in divorce?
- How do I know if my attorney is doing a good job?
- Should I get a second opinion from another divorce lawyer?
- Why won’t my lawyer give a clear answer?
Our Divorce Crash Course was designed to hold your hand through the process and help you avoid major and expensive mistakes. Learn more here: https://www.hownottosuckatdivorce.com/divorce-crash-course
Our Family Wizard is another fantasitc resource for those who need help navigating the "fun" world of coparenting. Head to this landing page to see how we work closely with them to support our listeners! http://www.ourfamilywizard.com/notsuck
Friends, slide into our dms, we love love love hearing from you. We are always here to listen and help in any way we can. You've got this and we've got you.
Instagram: @hownotosuckatdivorce
Follow Andrea: @theandrearappaport
Follow Morgan: @divorceattorneychicago
Mentioned in this episode:
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