Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay

Sarah Hendrickx, autistic author and assessor of adult autism and ADHD, explains her new practical self‑discovery book co‑written with her daughter. She discusses assessments, masking, alexithymia, and common myths about late diagnosis. Conversations cover co‑occurring conditions, how the pandemic spurred self‑discovery, and ways neurodiverse partners can support one another.

This episode is a very informative panel discussion from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference. The following individuals participated in this conversation and I hope you find the information they shared helpful.- Stephanie Holmes (www.holmsasr.com)- Grace Malonai (www.Therathrive.com)- Jodi Carlton (www.Jodicarlton.com)- Dan Jones (www.Theaspieworld.com)- Laura Schreiner (www.Laurasnc.com)Trigger warning: the topic of abuse is discussed during this presentation, so if this is triggering please skip this episode.The panelists address so many important topics that neurodivergent individuals and Neurodiverse couples may be interested in exploring, including:​Demand avoidance​Rejection sensitivity dysphoria​Impostor syndrome​The impact of different religious beliefs in ND relationships​Forgiveness, even when behaviors may still be occurring or learning new ways of functioning together?​Calling out uncomfortable behaviors and/or making accommodations ​Self awareness vs masking​Using dysregulation as a weapon​The importance of reciprocity in a healthy relationship​Struggling with Theory of Mind. ​Using the yes/and approach.If you haven’t had a chance to watch the first two episodes of the Neurodiverse Love Docuseries I hope you will check them out today. Episode 1 addresses Communication and Episode 2 addresses Emotional Reciprocity.if you are interested in getting lifetime access to all the video presentations from the 2025 Neurodiverse Love Conference click here for more information.

Dr. Margaret Cochran, clinical social worker and life coach with 25+ years helping neurodivergent people and couples. She talks about building intimacy skills that aren’t taught, using safe words and checklists to rebuild trust, setting and enforcing boundaries, and practical tools to regulate, reduce noise, and restore joy in ND relationships.

The first two episode s of the Neurodiverse Love Docuseries are now available. Through this four part series, you will meet four Neurodiverse couples who share some of their lived experiences, lessons learned and the strengths, challenges and differences they’ve had in their marriages. None of the couples knew they were in a mixed neurotype relationship when they married and each shares some of the experiences that have led to more connection, understanding and acceptance of each other’s differences.In addition, you will hear from three coaches/therapists who work with Neurodiverse couples. They share their perspective on why challenges may be occurring and also provide strategies and tools for increasing connection.Watch the Neurodiverse Love Docuseries on YouTube.—————————————————————————During this podcast episode Dr. Jesse Mahoney shares what inspired her TEDx talk, “What Would Love Do?” and how that question changed her neurodiverse relationship and her work.Jessie and her husband Mark are one of the four ND couples featured in the Neurodiverse Love Docuseries and she shares what she hopes the Docuseries will offer.In addition she shares why neurodivergence can go unrecognized for so long — even in medical families?She also discusses what she means by solving human problems without the human element.Jessie also explains what she means by the phrase “approach determines landing” and also shares how nervous systems shape communication, conflict, and connection?You can learn more about Dr. Mahoney’s work here.

Luis Mojica, somatic educator and certified holistic nutritionist, blends trauma work with food and body awareness. He discusses ADHD, the gut-brain link, microbiome roles, and how meal composition affects mood and relationships. Practical tips include protein, beans, greens, carb timing, and using food to stabilize nervous system for deeper healing.

Sarah Swenson, a licensed mental health counselor who helps neurodiverse couples, explores communication and connection in mixed neurotype relationships. She talks about misread intent, emotional intensity mismatches, alexithymia and interoception challenges. Timing, processing speed differences, sensory overload, the bean theory for energy, and respectful ways to ask for conversations are also covered.

Grace Myhill, MSW, is a social worker and coach for neurodiverse couples. She explains PDA and why refusals are not personal. Practical three-sentence requests and codes for emotional needs make asks clearer. Learn simple repair steps for hurt, ways to map sensory sensitivities, and strategies to balance special interests with shared connection.

Dan Holmes, an ordained minister and coach with a background in systems architecture who was later identified as autistic, shares faith-focused perspectives on neurodiverse marriage. They discuss spiritual intimacy, how faith can comfort or control, misuse of scripture, spiritual abuse risks, and practical practices for faith-centered connection in mixed neurotype relationships.

Eva A. Mendes, therapist and author who specializes in autism, ADHD, and neurodiverse relationships. She discusses early intervention for relationship issues. She highlights naming diagnoses, building a support village, and recognizing each partner's strengths and limits. Practical tools include adapting communication, daily gratitude, and concrete boundaries to strengthen connection.

Caron Starobin, LCSW and Relational Life Therapy trainer with 24+ years helping neurodiversity-affirming couples. She explores how neurodivergence shows up in relationships. Short takes on communication patterns, empathy differences, grief and misread cues. Practical relational tools, RLT phases, and visual skills for clearer boundaries and connection.