Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay

Cherishing Each Other:  ND Minded Couples Therapy that Nurtures Relational Living-Caron Starobin

12 snips
Feb 3, 2026
Caron Starobin, LCSW and Relational Life Therapy trainer with 24+ years helping neurodiversity-affirming couples. She explores how neurodivergence shows up in relationships. Short takes on communication patterns, empathy differences, grief and misread cues. Practical relational tools, RLT phases, and visual skills for clearer boundaries and connection.
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INSIGHT

Mismatched Styles Cause Misread Signals

  • Neurodiversity often appears as mismatched social styles, affect, and sensory needs that create misunderstanding in couples.
  • These mismatches produce stories partners tell themselves that drive conflict unless explored with curiosity.
ANECDOTE

Social Butterfly Versus Reserved Partner

  • Caron describes a couple where the husband had autism and limited executive function while his wife was a social butterfly.
  • The mismatch in social comfort and sensory needs created recurring conflict for them.
INSIGHT

Empathy Is Two Different Skills

  • Empathy has affective and cognitive parts and autistic people often show higher affective empathy but lower cognitive empathy expression.
  • The 'double empathy problem' means both partners can fail to understand each other, not just the autistic partner.
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