"You Are A Lot" (an ADHD/AuDHD podcast)

A dive into the “laziness lie” and how it quietly erodes boundaries in draining relationships. They unpack why over-helping keeps people stuck and how rescuing others can create dependence. Practical ideas for pulling back in small, repeatable steps are explored, plus simple strategies to set limits, track time, and realign commitments with your values.

A deep dive into hyper-curiosity: the urgent drive to explore, learn, and chase rabbit holes. Discussion of why curiosity can help creativity yet clash with modern school, work, and algorithms. Exploration of ancestral roots, research on curiosity versus impulsivity, and practical ideas like tiny experiments and scheduled “structured puppy” time to contain explorations.

A deep dive into ADHD understimulation and why it feels physically heavy rather than just boring. Exploration of causes like autopilot routines, low-reward tasks, and lack of novelty. Practical tweaks are highlighted: sensory changes, micro-deadlines, body doubling, movement, and short timers to spark action and release built-up tension.

Why is it so hard to do something we say we want to do—like meditation? In this episode, Jen responds to a listener from her Patreon community who says she knows meditation is good for her but can't get herself to do it consistently. The conversation quickly turns into a bigger question: do you actually want to do the thing, or do you just think you're supposed to? Get support in Jen's "We Are A Lot" online community. An interactive (yet self-paced, no forced socializing) group giving you 24/7 peer to peer support. It's designed for ADHD/AuDHD humans that need connection and gentle accountability with taking action, so you're not doing it all alone. You get daily body doubling sessions with Jen, weekly check-in progress meetings, extras like live Q&A's with Jen, book club meetings, journaling sessions with Jen, instructional videos for nervous system regulation, a private chat community, free worksheets, guides and printables, journal prompts, as well as all of the podcast episodes early and ad-free, video versions with transcripts, and four audio bonus episodes per month. This monthly membership supports learning things at your own pace so that you can act like your own ADHD/AuDHD coach whenever you want. Join the "We Are A Lot" Community for $24.99/month, or I am offering over 3 months free if you join annually and check it out no pressure with a one-week free trial! Things Mentioned In This Episode: Progressive Muscle Relxation and EFT Tapping Find Jen on: jenkirkman.com Instagram Pinterest Threads Substack Cameo Send an email to the show at alotadhdpod at gmail dot com Shop to Support the Show: Jen's Favorite ADHD Supports (with discounts!) Brain.fm — A Focus Tool I Use Every Day I listen while I work and I can feel my brain lock in. It's not AI, or binaural beats. Brain.fm is science-backed sound made by musicians and scientists for ADHD brains. I want you to try it for 30 days free, with my link! The Big A## Calendar I have the Big A## wall calendar that maps out the entire year and the Big A## personal planner with 365 days in one view, dry erase markers, color coded labels. With my unique link you can get 10% off of your order. Hugimals — Weighted Comfort for Kids & Adults I own Hugimals, give them as gifts, and love that they're made by a neurodivergent founder who understands nervous system needs. These weighted stuffed animals and pillows help with anxiety and overwhelm, and you can get 15% off anytime using my link and code JENKIRKMAN (it never expires). Bookshop.org — Books I Recommend I love Bookshop.org because every purchase supports your local independent bookstore, not Amazon, while still shipping directly to you. I've curated book lists on ADHD/AuDHD and mental health, and you can get 20% off everything when you shop using my link. The Time Timer - a Cute Visual Time Tool! I use my Time Timer every single day to help me visualize time during work blocks, and to gamify chores. There's no discount, but when you use my link I earn a percentage that goes directly into supporting this podcast. Appointed — Planners, Notebooks & Desk Goods Appointed notebooks are my go-to for my spiral notebooks, day planners, calendars and Le Pen pens for list-making, journaling, and planning. Save 15% off with my link and code JENKIRKMAN. UnHide — Soft, Weighted Comfort I love UnHide's products. Their faux fur weighted blankets, pillows, robes, and socks are incredibly soft and calming. You can get 20% off with my link and code JEN20.

Why do your feelings change so fast with ADHD or AuDHD? How can you go from crying to fine in ten minutes? Why does it feel like the first feeling never even happened once it's gone? In episode #72 Why Do My Feelings Change So Fast With ADHD & AuDHD? I get into how ADHD affects tracking feelings over time, how attention changes what feels most true in the moment, and why it can be hard to recall how intense a feeling was once it passes. Get support in Jen's "We Are A Lot" online community. An interactive (yet self-paced, no forced socializing) group giving you 24/7 peer to peer support. It's designed for ADHD/AuDHD humans that need connection and gentle accountability with taking action, so you're not doing it all alone. You get daily body doubling sessions with Jen, weekly check-in progress meetings, extras like live Q&A's with Jen, book club meetings, journaling sessions with Jen, instructional videos for nervous system regulation, a private chat community, free worksheets, guides and printables, journal prompts, as well as all of the podcast episodes early and ad-free, video versions with transcripts, and four audio bonus episodes per month. This monthly membership supports learning things at your own pace so that you can act like your own ADHD/AuDHD coach whenever you want. Join the "We Are A Lot" Community for $24.99/month, or I am offering over 3 months free if you join annually and check it out no pressure with a one-week free trial! Find Jen on: jenkirkman.com Instagram Pinterest Threads Substack Cameo Send an email to the show at alotadhdpod at gmail dot com Shop to Support the Show: Jen's Favorite ADHD Supports (with Discounts) Brain.fm — A Focus Tool I Use Every Day I listen while I work and I can feel my brain lock in. It's not AI, or binaural beats. Brain.fm is science-backed sound made by musicians and scientists for ADHD brains. I want you to try it for 30 days free, with my link! The Big A## Calendar I have the Big A## wall calendar that maps out the entire year and the Big A## personal planner with 365 days in one view, dry erase markers, color coded labels. With my unique link you can get 10% off of your order. Hugimals — Weighted Comfort for Kids & Adults I own Hugimals, give them as gifts, and love that they're made by a neurodivergent founder who understands nervous system needs. These weighted stuffed animals and pillows help with anxiety and overwhelm, and you can get 15% off anytime using my link and code JENKIRKMAN (it never expires). Bookshop.org — Books I Recommend I love Bookshop.org because every purchase supports your local independent bookstore, not Amazon, while still shipping directly to you. I've curated book lists on ADHD/AuDHD and mental health, and you can get 20% off everything when you shop using my link. The Time Timer - a Cute Visual Time Tool! I use my Time Timer every single day to help me visualize time during work blocks, and to gamify chores. There's no discount, but when you use my link I earn a percentage that goes directly into supporting this podcast. Appointed — Planners, Notebooks & Desk Goods Appointed notebooks are my go-to for my spiral notebooks, day planners, calendars and Le Pen pens for list-making, journaling, and planning. Save 15% off with my link and code JENKIRKMAN. UnHide — Soft, Weighted Comfort I love UnHide's products. Their faux fur weighted blankets, pillows, robes, and socks are incredibly soft and calming. You can get 20% off with my link and code JEN20. Research Referenced In This Episode: Learning Meta Cognition Skills: ADDitude Magazine You Tube Leveraging Meta Cognition: Pub Med Central The Brown Model of Executive Function Impairments in ADHD: Brown Clinic Website Understanding Girls With ADHD (Book): 20% off with my link

Why do you feel excited and dread at the same time? Why do you want something and also don't? In this episode, I talk about when you feel two opposite feelings at the same time. Don't worry. You're not unstable! You're emotionally complex. Listen if you want to learn how we process multiple feelings at the same time and how relationships and situations can influence our mixed feelings. Get support in Jen's "We Are A Lot" online community. An interactive (yet self-paced, no forced socializing) group giving you 24/7 peer to peer support. It's designed for ADHD/AuDHD humans that need connection and gentle accountability with taking action, so you're not doing it all alone. You get daily body doubling sessions with Jen, weekly check-in progress meetings, extras like live Q&A's with Jen, book club meetings, journaling sessions with Jen, instructional videos for nervous system regulation, a private chat community, free worksheets, guides and printables, journal prompts, as well as all of the podcast episodes early and ad-free, video versions with transcripts, and four audio bonus episodes per month. This monthly membership supports learning things at your own pace so that you can act like your own ADHD/AuDHD coach whenever you want. Join the "We Are A Lot" Community for $24.99/month, or I am offering over 3 months free if you join annually and check it out no pressure with a one-week free trial! Find Jen on: jenkirkman.com Instagram Pinterest Threads Substack Cameo Send an email to the show at alotadhdpod at gmail dot com Shop to Support the Show: Jen's Favorite ADHD Supports (with Discounts) Brain.fm — A Focus Tool I Use Every Day I listen while I work and I can feel my brain lock in. It's not AI, or binaural beats. Brain.fm is science-backed sound made by musicians and scientists for ADHD brains. I want you to try it for 30 days free, with my link! The Big A## Calendar I have the Big A## wall calendar that maps out the entire year and the Big A## personal planner with 365 days in one view, dry erase markers, color coded labels. With my unique link you can get 10% off of your order. Hugimals — Weighted Comfort for Kids & Adults I own Hugimals, give them as gifts, and love that they're made by a neurodivergent founder who understands nervous system needs. These weighted stuffed animals and pillows help with anxiety and overwhelm, and you can get 15% off anytime using my link and code JENKIRKMAN (it never expires). Bookshop.org — Books I Recommend I love Bookshop.org because every purchase supports your local independent bookstore, not Amazon, while still shipping directly to you. I've curated book lists on ADHD/AuDHD and mental health, and you can get 20% off everything when you shop using my link. The Time Timer - a Cute Visual Time Tool! I use my Time Timer every single day to help me visualize time during work blocks, and to gamify chores. There's no discount, but when you use my link I earn a percentage that goes directly into supporting this podcast. Appointed — Planners, Notebooks & Desk Goods Appointed notebooks are my go-to for my spiral notebooks, day planners, calendars and Le Pen pens for list-making, journaling, and planning. Save 15% off with my link and code JENKIRKMAN. UnHide — Soft, Weighted Comfort I love UnHide's products. Their faux fur weighted blankets, pillows, robes, and socks are incredibly soft and calming. You can get 20% off with my link and code JEN20. Research Referenced In This Episode: How Our Brain Navigates Complex Feelings: Psychology Today Two Truths Can Exist At The Same Time: Psychology Today Can You Feel Two Emotions At Once: Psychology Today What Does It Mean To Have Mixed Feelings: Psychology Today

Why does it feel like the emotion you're in right now is going to last forever? In episode #70 ADHD and AuDHD: Why Feelings Feel Permanent, I explore why we struggle to hold onto the idea that feelings change because when one shows up, our attention locks onto it, making it feel permanent and all-encompassing. I'll help you make sense of why feelings feel so intense, and convincing. Get support in Jen's "We Are A Lot" online community. An interactive (yet self-paced, no forced socializing) group giving you 24/7 peer to peer support. It's designed for ADHD/AuDHD humans that need connection and gentle accountability with taking action, so you're not doing it all alone. You get daily body doubling sessions with Jen, weekly check-in progress meetings, extras like live Q&A's with Jen, book club meetings, journaling sessions with Jen, instructional videos for nervous system regulation, a private chat community, free worksheets, guides and printables, journal prompts, as well as all of the podcast episodes early and ad-free, video versions with transcripts, and four audio bonus episodes per month. This monthly membership supports learning things at your own pace so that you can act like your own ADHD/AuDHD coach whenever you want. Join the "We Are A Lot" Community for $24.99/month, or I am offering over 3 months free if you join annually and check it out no pressure with a one-week free trial! Find Jen on: jenkirkman.com Instagram Pinterest Threads Substack Cameo Send an email to the show at alotadhdpod at gmail dot com Shop to Support the Show: Jen's Favorite ADHD Supports (with Discounts) Brain.fm — A Focus Tool I Use Every Day I listen while I work and I can feel my brain lock in. It's not AI, or binaural beats. Brain.fm is science-backed sound made by musicians and scientists for ADHD brains. I want you to try it for 30 days free, with my link! The Big A## Calendar I have the Big A## wall calendar that maps out the entire year and the Big A## personal planner with 365 days in one view, dry erase markers, color coded labels. With my unique link you can get 10% off of your order. Hugimals — Weighted Comfort for Kids & Adults I own Hugimals, give them as gifts, and love that they're made by a neurodivergent founder who understands nervous system needs. These weighted stuffed animals and pillows help with anxiety and overwhelm, and you can get 15% off anytime using my link and code JENKIRKMAN (it never expires). Bookshop.org — Books I Recommend I love Bookshop.org because every purchase supports your local independent bookstore, not Amazon, while still shipping directly to you. I've curated book lists on ADHD/AuDHD and mental health, and you can get 20% off everything when you shop using my link. The Time Timer - a Cute Visual Time Tool! I use my Time Timer every single day to help me visualize time during work blocks, and to gamify chores. There's no discount, but when you use my link I earn a percentage that goes directly into supporting this podcast. Appointed — Planners, Notebooks & Desk Goods Appointed notebooks are my go-to for my spiral notebooks, day planners, calendars and Le Pen pens for list-making, journaling, and planning. Save 15% off with my link and code JENKIRKMAN. UnHide — Soft, Weighted Comfort I love UnHide's products. Their faux fur weighted blankets, pillows, robes, and socks are incredibly soft and calming. You can get 20% off with my link and code JEN20. Research Referenced In This Episode: Affective Forecasting: Psychology Today Understanding the Ways We Think About Our Future Emotions: Lawyer Well Being Impact Bias: The Decision Lab Deficient Emotional Self-Regulation: Russell Barkley ADDitude Magazine/You-Tube

It's Feelings February, on the "You Are A LOT" podcast, and I'm starting the first episode of the month with a basic question: what's the difference between an emotion and a feeling? Emotions are real-time body signals—racing heart, tight chest, clenched jaw, shallow breathing. Feelings are what you become aware of and can name after your brain interprets those body signals. For ADHD and AuDHD humans, there's often a lag between the emotion happening and the feeling "forming," (due to our issues with interoception) which can make it hard to answer a simple question like "What's wrong?" I explain how to use a Feelings Wheel and why naming the body state can sometimes ground you more than naming a feeling too fast. Show Notes: Join Jen's Accountability Club! A highly interactive monthly membership where you meet with me live every week for accountability, body-double sessions, journaling, and monthly Q&A. It's designed for ADHD/AuDHD brains that need connection and support taking action — so you're not doing it all alone. Membership is $19.99/month, with an annual option currently available at 31% off (that's over three months free) with code 2AD87. Offer expires 2/1/26. Brain.fm — A Focus Tool I Use Every Day It's not music, or binaural beats. Brain.fm is science-backed sound made for ADHD brains and it's genius! I listen while I work and I can feel my brain lock in, no distractions. I want you to try it for 30 days free, with my link! No catch. Cancel anytime. Hugimals — Weighted Comfort for Kids & Adults I own Hugimals, give them as gifts, and love that they're made by a neurodivergent founder who understands nervous system needs. These weighted stuffed animals and pillows help with anxiety and overwhelm, and you can get 15% off anytime using my link and code JENKIRKMAN (it never expires). Appointed — Planners, Notebooks & Desk Goods Appointed notebooks are my go-to — I buy my spiral notebooks and Le Pen pens from them and use them daily for lists, journaling, and planning. You can get notebooks monogrammed and save 15% off with my link and code JENKIRKMAN. Bookshop.org — Books I Recommend I love Bookshop.org because every purchase supports independent bookstores, not Amazon, while still shipping directly to you. I've curated book lists on ADHD/AuDHD and mental health, and you can get 20% off everything when you shop using my link. UnHide — Soft, Weighted Comfort I love UnHide's products — their vegan weighted blankets, pillows, robes, and socks are incredibly soft and calming, especially if you're neurodivergent and soothed by gentle weight and cozy textures. You can get 20% off with my link and code JEN20. The Time Timer - a Cute Visual Time Tool! I use my Time Timer every single day. I have a pink one from the MOD collection. I use it to help me visualize time during work blocks, breaks, and completing tasks. There's no discount, but when you use my link I earn a percentage that goes directly into supporting this podcast. Sources Used: The Difference Between Feelings And Emotions: Wake Forest University The Feelings Wheel: The New Happy Blog Toxic Positivity: Book, Whitney Goodman (20% off)

In this episode, I share how I use accountability as a practical tool for ADHD without it feeling punishing or pressured. If you've got ADHD (or AuDHD), deal with time blindness, procrastination loops, or resistance like PDA / demand avoidance, this approach can help you stay present, reduce overwhelm, and actually follow through. I break down the three types of accountability (personal, public, and community), explain why body doubling works so well for ADHD brains, and show how simple check-ins can turn "I'm stuck" into momentum—plus why celebrating small wins rewires motivation over time. You'll also hear about my Patreon Accountability Club (including daily body-doubling sessions and weekly check-ins), and I'm offering a free month for listeners for a limited time. Click here and claim your one free month to the Tier A Plus Patreon Community. Show Notes: Join Jen's Accountability Club! A highly interactive monthly membership where you meet with me live every week for accountability, body-double sessions, journaling, and monthly Q&A. It's designed for ADHD/AuDHD brains that need connection and support taking action — so you're not doing it all alone. Click here and claim your one free month to the Tier A Plus Patreon Community. Brain.fm — A Focus Tool I Use Every Day It's not music, or binaural beats. Brain.fm is science-backed sound made for ADHD brains and it's genius! I listen while I work and I can feel my brain lock in, no distractions. I want you to try it for 30 days free, with my link! No catch. Cancel anytime. Hugimals — Weighted Comfort for Kids & Adults I own Hugimals, give them as gifts, and love that they're made by a neurodivergent founder who understands nervous system needs. These weighted stuffed animals and pillows help with anxiety and overwhelm, and you can get 15% off anytime using my link and code JENKIRKMAN (it never expires). Appointed — Planners, Notebooks & Desk Goods Appointed notebooks are my go-to — I buy my spiral notebooks and Le Pen pens from them and use them daily for lists, journaling, and planning. You can get notebooks monogrammed and save 15% off with my link and code JENKIRKMAN. Bookshop.org — Books I Recommend I love Bookshop.org because every purchase supports independent bookstores, not Amazon, while still shipping directly to you. I've curated book lists on ADHD/AuDHD and mental health, and you can get 20% off everything when you shop using my link. UnHide — Soft, Weighted Comfort I love UnHide's products — their vegan weighted blankets, pillows, robes, and socks are incredibly soft and calming, especially if you're neurodivergent and soothed by gentle weight and cozy textures. You can get 20% off with my link and code JEN20. The Time Timer - a Cute Visual Time Tool! I use my Time Timer every single day. I have a pink one from the MOD collection. I use it to help me visualize time during work blocks, breaks, and completing tasks. There's no discount, but when you use my link I earn a percentage that goes directly into supporting this podcast.

In this episode, I'm talking about capacity and why so many ADHD/AuDHD humans feel blocked from doing the things they genuinely care about. It covers the Fresh Start Effect, and how dopamine spikes when we look forward to things more than when we're actually doing them, which is why January motivation fades so quickly. I get into the difference between wanting to create, connect, or rest, and having the space, energy, or setup to actually do it. This year, I'm still figuring out daily goal-setting, realistic planning, and building to-do lists, because what no one really ever tells us is that planning and researching drain our battery — and we have to work with that reality. Show Notes: My podcast webpage is another place to listen, along with an easy-to-read blog that expands on ADHD/AuDHD topics from the show — with pins you can save to Pinterest. Read my FAQ page if you want to access diagnostic tests for ADHD/AuDHD, find a therapist or coach in your area, and get info from ADHD organizations. Join Jen's Accountability Club! - A highly interactive monthly membership where you meet with me live every week for accountability, body-double sessions, journaling, and monthly Q&A. It's designed for ADHD/AuDHD brains that need connection and support taking action — so you're not doing it all alone. Membership is $19.99/month, with an annual option currently available at 31% off (that's over three months free) with code 2AD87. Offer expires 2/1/26. Brain.fm — A Focus Tool I Use Every Day - It's not music, or binaural beats. Brain.fm is science-backed sound made for ADHD brains and it's genius! I listen while I work and I can feel my brain lock in, no distractions. I want you to try it for 30 days free, with my link! No catch. Cancel anytime. Hugimals — Weighted Comfort for Kids & Adults - I own Hugimals, give them as gifts, and love that they're made by a neurodivergent founder who understands nervous system needs. These weighted stuffed animals and pillows help with anxiety and overwhelm, and you can get 15% off anytime using my link and code JENKIRKMAN (it never expires) Appointed — Planners, Notebooks & Desk Goods - Appointed notebooks are my go-to — I buy my spiral notebooks and Le Pen pens from them and use them daily for lists, journaling, and planning. You can get notebooks monogrammed and save 15% off with my link and code JENKIRKMAN. Bookshop.org — Books I Recommend - I love Bookshop.org because every purchase supports independent bookstores, not Amazon, while still shipping directly to you. I've curated book lists on ADHD/AuDHD and mental health, and you can get 20% off everything when you shop using my link. UnHide — Soft, Weighted Comfort - I love UnHide's products — their vegan weighted blankets, pillows, robes, and socks are incredibly soft and calming, especially if you're neurodivergent and soothed by gentle weight and cozy textures. You can get 20% off with my link and code JEN20. The Time Timer - a Cute Visual Time Tool! - I use my Time Timer every single day. I have a pink one from the MOD collection. I use it to help me visualize time during work blocks, breaks, and completing tasks. There's no discount, but when you use my link I earn a percentage that goes directly into supporting this podcast.