"You Are A Lot" (an ADHD/AuDHD podcast)

Ep# 76: When Exhausting Relationships Take Up Time

Mar 30, 2026
A dive into the “laziness lie” and how it quietly erodes boundaries in draining relationships. They unpack why over-helping keeps people stuck and how rescuing others can create dependence. Practical ideas for pulling back in small, repeatable steps are explored, plus simple strategies to set limits, track time, and realign commitments with your values.
Ask episode
AI Snips
Chapters
Books
Transcript
Episode notes
INSIGHT

The Laziness Lie Erases Your Needs

  • The 'laziness lie' frames lack of energy or reluctance as moral failure instead of valid needs.
  • Jen Kirkman cites Dr. Devon Price to show this belief erases personal values and gaslights people into overgiving.
INSIGHT

Why Overgiving Feels Like Laziness

  • Unbalanced relationships make you feel 'lazy' because you can't say no to others' expectations.
  • Jen explains this dynamic ties into hustle culture where worth is measured by how much you sacrifice for others.
ANECDOTE

Ethan Example Shows Helping Can Hold People Back

  • Dr. Price's example: a friend Ethan moved to town and became emotionally dependent, pressing his only friend into crisis support.
  • When she refused further caretaking after he ignored therapy referrals, he later recovered independently, showing her help had held him back.
Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode
Get the app