Her Best Self ~ Eating Disorder Recovery, Anorexia, Bulimia & Food Freedom

How much mental and emotional energy do you spend thinking about your weight? And here's the follow-up question: Is it worth it? Is all that energy actually improving your life, making you happier, or making you worth more? Today I'm offering a completely different perspective: What if your perfect weight isn't a number at all, but rather a state of being? A way of moving through this world where food and your body just don't dominate your thoughts. If you get nothing else from this episode, write this down: Your perfect weight is perfect freedom. In this episode, you'll discover: Why there's no such thing as a perfect weight (and what to focus on instead) How to redefine "perfect weight" as perfect freedom Real-life examples of what perfect freedom looks like The science behind why fighting your natural weight range backfires Why restriction creates the food obsessions you're trying to escape How to use your mental energy for relationships, work, and dreams instead of weight monitoring Starting points for moving toward weight-inclusive health The truth: Your worth isn't tied to your size Your perfect weight is when you can: ✅ Enjoy dinner with friends without calculating calories ✅ Skip a workout because you're tired (without guilt) ✅ Be fully present on date night instead of scanning menus ✅ Go on vacation without needing a "detox" afterward ✅ Nourish your body with variety—free from restriction THE CORE MESSAGE Your perfect weight is perfect freedom. Instead of focusing on a perfect number, focus on finding perfect trust within yourself and your body. We've been conditioned to believe that constant vigilance around food and exercise is the only path to health. But what if that very vigilance itself is what's unhealthy? WHAT PERFECT FREEDOM LOOKS LIKE Your perfect weight is: Enjoying an evening out with friends without guilt as an uninvited guest Laughing over shared appetizers and ordering what sounds good Driving home thinking about conversations, not calories consumed Listening to your body and skipping workouts when tired Understanding that rest is just as important as movement Being fully present during date night—looking into your partner's eyes instead of secretly scanning menu calorie counts Coming home from vacation with memories of experiences, not regrets about what you ate THE SCIENCE BEHIND FREEDOM Our bodies are incredibly diverse. Research increasingly shows that health can exist at many different sizes. Each of us has a genetically influenced weight range where our body functions best—I call this the "freedom point" (others call it set point). Fighting against this natural range requires constant effort and often results in harmful weight cycling. The truth about BMI: It was never designed to be an individual health marker. It was created as a population-level statistical tool, and its creator explicitly warned against using it for individual health evaluation. Health is about: Sustainable habits Mental wellbeing Social connections Physical markers like blood pressure and cholesterol Many of which improve through healthy behaviors regardless of weight changes WHY RESTRICTION BACKFIRES Your body and brain are wired to resist famine. When you severely restrict food groups or calories, your body fights back. This is where obsessive food thoughts come from—not lack of willpower. This is biology. The surprise: Food obsessions actually diminish when you start eating enough for your body, including previously forbidden foods. The rebellious urge to binge fades when no foods are labeled as "bad" or "good." REDEFINING YOUR RELATIONSHIP How would you eat if you knew your weight would never change? What would you accomplish if you weren't constantly monitoring your appearance or planning your next diet? Your perfect weight means: Days not consumed by food or body thoughts Using mental energy for relationships, work, passions, dreams Vacation doesn't end with detox or start with restriction Enjoying local cuisines without anxiety Coming home with memories, not regrets STARTING POINTS FOR FREEDOM 1. Work with weight-inclusive practitioners Dietitians specializing in intuitive eating Therapists who understand body image Coaches trained to focus on here and now without scale measurements 2. Curate your media consumption Unfollow accounts that make you feel bad about your body Unfollow accounts promoting restrictive eating Do a social media detox if it's not helping you make pro-recovery choices 3. Practice real self-compassion The path isn't linear—there will be ups and downs Treat yourself with kindness rather than judgment This makes the journey manageable and rewarding 4. Ground yourself in truth Your worth isn't tied to your size You deserve respect, love, and dignity at any weight Your body is a vessel carrying you through this precious life It deserves appreciation for what it does, not criticism for how it looks THE ULTIMATE TRUTH Your perfect weight isn't a destination you achieve once and check off a to-do list. It's an ongoing relationship with your body that evolves over time. There will be days you feel completely at peace with your body and food. There will be days old thought patterns creep back in. That's totally normal. What matters is the overall direction: moving toward more freedom, more self-compassion, and being less preoccupied with controlling your body. KEY QUOTES 💛 "Your perfect weight is perfect freedom." 💛 "How much mental and emotional energy do you spend thinking about your weight? Is it worth it?" 💛 "What if your perfect weight isn't a number at all, but rather a state of being?" 💛 "The more vigilant you are around food and exercise, the more unhealthy that vigilance itself becomes." 💛 "Your food obsessions aren't from lack of willpower—this is biology." 💛 "How would you eat if you knew your weight would never change?" 💛 "Your body is just a vessel that carries you through this precious life and deserves appreciation for what it does, not constant criticism for how it looks." READY TO FIND YOUR PERFECT FREEDOM? If you're done trying to control every single thing around food and body, if you're ready to make a commitment to change this part of your life—I'm here. Stop listening to that nagging voice telling you that you're lazy, not good enough, or that you'll always be this way. 👉 www.herbestself.co - Fill out a client application to partner together in your healing journey 💛 Take the Recovery Spirit Animal Quiz - Get insight into practical steps for your recovery based on your answers: Free Recovery Tools & Support | Quizzes, Journals, & Community for Eating Disorder Healing — Her Best Self Co. | Eating Disorder Recovery Coach for Women 💛 Join Her Best Self Society - Our private Facebook community at www.herbestselfsociety.com  Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

Hey girl, welcome back to the Her Best Self Podcast. This week is National Eating Disorder Awareness Week and Lindsey is getting real with you about the truth behind eating disorders — the statistics that will stop you in your tracks, the signs that are easy to miss, and the hope that recovery is absolutely possible for you. Whether you are personally in the thick of your own battle with food and your body, loving someone who is struggling, or simply wanting to understand eating disorders on a deeper level, this episode is for you. What You'll Learn in This Episode In this powerful episode, Lindsey pulls back the curtain on the most misunderstood mental illness and shares what the research actually says, who eating disorders really affect, and what you can do today to take the next step toward freedom. Lindsey covers the real mortality rate of eating disorders and why early intervention changes everything, the truth about who develops eating disorders and why the stereotype is dead wrong, the most common signs to watch for in yourself or someone you love, how to approach a loved one who is struggling without pushing them further away, and why recovery is not only possible but waiting for you on the other side. Key Stats From This Episode Eating disorders have the second highest mortality rate of any mental illness, surpassed only by opioid addiction. Someone dies every 52 minutes as a direct result of an eating disorder. About 30 million Americans will struggle with an eating disorder in their lifetime. Less than 6% of people with eating disorders are classified as underweight. Only about one third of people with eating disorders will ever receive treatment. Lindsey's Personal Message to You If your eating disorder is telling you that you need it to survive, that you're not sick enough for help, or that you'll never recover — those are lies. Every single one of them. Lindsey has been where you are and she is living proof that freedom is real, that it is possible, and that life on the other side is better than you can imagine. Ready to Take the Next Step? Join the Her Best Self Society — Free Private Facebook Community You were never meant to do this alone. The Her Best Self Society is Lindsey's free private Facebook community where women just like you are finding support, encouragement, and a safe place to heal together. No judgment. No pressure. Just real women walking the road to recovery side by side. Come hang out with us at www.hersbestselfsociety.com.  Work With Lindsey 1:1 If you are ready to stop white-knuckling recovery on your own and finally get the personalized support, tools, and coaching you deserve, Lindsey would love to walk alongside you. Her 1:1 coaching is designed specifically for women who are ready to break free from disordered eating and reclaim their life, their joy, and their identity beyond the eating disorder. To learn more about working with Lindsey directly, visit www.herbestself.co or send her a DM on Instagram at @thelindseynichol. Come to our every other week support group! You can find more details at www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective. Resources Mentioned National Eating Disorder Association — www.nationaleatingdisorders.org  Alliance for Eating Disorder Awareness — www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com  Her Best Self Society Private Facebook Community — www.hersbestselfsociety.com  Loved This Episode? If this episode spoke to your heart, please take 30 seconds to leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Your review helps more women find this show and find their way to freedom. And share this episode with a friend or someone you love who needs to hear it today. The more we talk openly about eating disorders, the more we break the stigma keeping so many women suffering in silence. ______________________ Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

When people hear "eating disorder," they picture a young stick-figure girl in ballet class. But what I see every day? CEOs with anorexia. Lawyers binge eating in office bathrooms. Doctors struggling in silence with exercise compulsion. Corporate executives who haven't eaten lunch in six months because they're "too busy." 73% of women in corporate and professional environments report engaging in at least one disordered eating behavior. And if you're a high-performing woman who feels trapped but can't connect the dots—this episode is for you. Because your workplace might be feeding your eating disorder. And it's time we talked about it. You'll discover: The chilling parallels between corporate culture and eating disorder logic How "dedication" and "discipline" can actually be disordered eating in disguise Why corporate wellness programs trigger eating disorders instead of preventing them The toxic beliefs high-performer culture promotes that fuel disordered eating Signs everyone misses in successful women who are struggling How to audit your workplace culture for ED-triggering behaviors Why your traits might be symptoms—not personality flaws How to redefine success to include your wellbeing The truth: You can be successful AND recovered. Recovery doesn't mean giving up your ambition—it means reclaiming it. THE CHILLING PARALLELS Corporate Culture Says: "I have to earn my lunch—I haven't been productive enough yet" "I can't take a break—everyone's counting on me" "If I rest, I'm falling behind" Eating Disorder Logic Says: "I have to earn my food—I haven't burned enough calories yet" "I can't eat—I have to stay in control" "If I eat, I'm losing control" It's the same framework: Your worth is conditional. Your value is based on performance. And this mindset gets you promoted—while secretly destroying your relationship with food and your body. TOXIC BELIEFS THAT FEED BOTH "Results over rest" - Your body becomes just a vehicle for performance "Discipline equals success" - Until discipline becomes rigid food rules "Mind over matter" - Glorifying disconnection from your body's signals "Optimize everything" - Your body becomes a project to control and perfect "Hustle culture" - Normalizing deprivation of food, rest, and pleasure For someone who's perfectionistic and already anxious, these messages are gasoline on a fire. SIGNS EVERYONE MISSES ✅ First one in, last one out—always "on," can't rest ✅ Skipping meals because you're "too busy" (praised as dedication) ✅ Rigid food rules disguised as "wellness" ("I don't eat carbs," "only clean foods") ✅ Over-exercising every day, even when sick or injured ✅ Talking about your body transactionally ("I earned this meal," "I have to burn this off") ✅ Avoiding work social events that involve food ✅ Exhausted but won't slow down Most of these behaviors are celebrated in high-performer culture—so you don't realize you need help. YOUR WORKPLACE CULTURE AUDIT Ask yourself: Am I praised for skipping meals or working through lunch? Does my company tie wellness to competition or performance metrics? Do I feel pressure to track, optimize, or perform my health? Are boundaries seen as weakness in my workplace? Do I feel like I have to "earn" rest, food, or self-care? Then ask: Am I using work stress as an excuse to control my food? Do I restrict when work gets overwhelming? Do I "earn" meals based on productivity? Am I exercising compulsively to manage work anxiety? If you answered yes to any of these—you're not alone. And you're not crazy. THE TRUTH ABOUT YOUR "TRAITS" Those traits you think define you? They might not be who you ARE. They might be symptoms. Symptoms of working in an environment that rewards disordered behaviors. Symptoms of impossible standards that tell you your worth is tied to your output. You are not broken. You're responding exactly how anyone would respond to these systems. REDEFINING SUCCESS True high performance: ✅ Rest is part of the strategy - not a sign of weakness ✅ Nourishment is non-negotiable - your brain needs fuel to perform ✅ Boundaries are a strength - saying no, delegating, protecting your energy ✅ Worth isn't tied to output - you're valuable because you exist ✅ Success includes wellbeing - how you feel matters as much as results Recovery doesn't take away your drive. It redirects it. You stop using discipline to destroy yourself and start using it to build the life you actually want. KEY QUOTES 💛 "73% of women in corporate environments report engaging in at least one disordered eating behavior." 💛 "The same traits that make you exceptional at your job—perfectionism, discipline, control—those are the EXACT traits that eating disorders exploit." 💛 "When wellness is tied to productivity, competition, or external validation, it's not wellness anymore. It's just another way to perform." 💛 "Those traits you think define you? They might not be who you ARE. They might be symptoms." 💛 "Recovery doesn't mean giving up your ambition. It means reclaiming it." 💛 "You can be successful AND recovered. Your brain works better when nourished. Your work improves when you're not obsessing over food 24/7." READY TO BREAK FREE FROM THE PATTERNS KEEPING YOU STUCK? If you're tired of feeling trapped, if you want to redefine what success looks like for YOU—I'm here. 👉 www.herbestself.co - Fill out a client application Asking for help isn't weakness. It's wisdom. It's courage. It's leadership. You deserve to perform at your best—not your most depleted. Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.    

If you're ready for recovery but freeze when it comes time to actually invest in yourself and commit to the work—this episode is for you. The real reason you're not taking action isn't because you don't want freedom. It's not because you can't afford it. It's not because you don't believe recovery is possible. It's because you don't trust yourself to actually do it. You don't trust yourself to follow through, to succeed, to recover. And after years of the eating disorder systematically destroying your self-trust, plus being burned by therapy or treatment programs that didn't work—of course you don't trust yourself. But that lack of trust? It's not your fault. And it's not permanent. In this episode, I break down why high-performing women especially struggle with self-trust in recovery, how past "failed" attempts were actually preparing you for the right approach, and how to rebuild that trust through partnership rather than trying to do it alone. You'll discover: Why the eating disorder has systematically destroyed your self-trust How being a high performer makes recovery feel impossible when your usual strategies don't work Why therapy/treatment programs may have failed before (and why this time IS different) The difference between coaching and transformation through partnership How to build self-trust through small, kept promises Why you don't need perfect self-trust to start—just willingness How to overcome the "I need to talk to my husband" and investment objections Why waiting for the "perfect time" keeps you stuck while the ED steals your life The truth: You ARE trustworthy. You ARE capable. You ARE ready. Even if you don't feel like it yet. WHY YOU DON'T TRUST YOURSELF The eating disorder has spent YEARS: Convincing you to break promises to yourself Making you set goals you couldn't keep Forcing you to start recovery attempts you couldn't finish Sabotaging commitments your disorder wouldn't let you honor Plus, you've been burned before: Therapy that was lovely but left you feeling stuck Treatment programs with skills you couldn't maintain in real life "Recovery" approaches that felt like diet culture in disguise Systems and people who didn't truly GET where you are And as a high performer: You're used to succeeding at everything you put your mind to When recovery feels like the one thing you can't figure out, it shakes your entire identity Your usual strategies (perfectionism, control, pushing through) actually keep you stuck in EDs Recovery requires surrender, trust, and support—the opposite of what got you success elsewhere The truth: The problem wasn't YOU. The problem was you hadn't found the RIGHT approach yet. WHY THIS TIME IS DIFFERENT This isn't therapy. This isn't treatment. This isn't coaching. This is transformation through partnership. When we work together: ✅ I've been exactly where you are—I know what it feels like to not trust yourself ✅ I'm not coaching you from a textbook—I'm partnering with you from experience ✅ I hold hope for you when you can't hold it for yourself ✅ I see your strength when all you can see is struggle ✅ I trust you to recover until you can trust yourself ✅ You don't have to rebuild trust alone—we build it together The difference: I know the voice of freedom, and I know how to help you hear it again. REBUILDING SELF-TRUST What self-trust really means: Self-trust isn't about never failing or being perfect. Self-trust is showing up for yourself even when it's hard, imperfect, and uncertain. How we build it together: Start with micro-commitments ("I trust myself to eat breakfast tomorrow") Acknowledge every kept promise ("I said I'd eat breakfast and I did—I'm trustworthy") Focus on promises that actually matter (the ones that move you toward freedom, not more rules) Partner through the process (you're not doing it alone) The secret: You don't have to trust yourself to recover perfectly. You just have to trust yourself to start. THE FEAR BEHIND THE FEAR You're not just afraid of failing again—you're afraid of succeeding. Because the eating disorder has been your: Identity Coping mechanism Source of control Way to feel special, disciplined, "together" Excuse for not fully living Recovery means facing: "Who am I without this?" The truth: Who you are without the eating disorder is who you were ALWAYS meant to be. The ED buried the best parts of you—it didn't create them. KEY QUOTES 💛 "That lack of trust? It's not your fault. And it's not permanent." 💛 "The eating disorder has spent YEARS systematically destroying your self-trust. Of course you don't trust yourself." 💛 "The problem wasn't YOU. The problem was you hadn't found the RIGHT approach yet." 💛 "This isn't coaching. This is transformation through partnership." 💛 "I will trust you to recover until you can trust yourself." 💛 "Self-trust is showing up for yourself even when it's hard, imperfect, and uncertain." 💛 "You don't have to trust yourself to recover perfectly. You just have to trust yourself to start." 💛 "Who you are without the eating disorder is who you were ALWAYS meant to be." 💛 "The women who recover aren't the ones who never stumble. They're the ones who keep showing up." 💛 "Recovery doesn't require perfect self-trust. It requires perfect willingness to try. With support." 💛 "How many more months are you going to spend 'thinking about it' while the eating disorder continues to steal your life?" 💛 "You ARE trustworthy. You ARE capable. You ARE ready. Even if you don't feel like it yet." THE WAKE-UP CALL What's riskier? Trusting yourself to try recovery with someone who's been exactly where you are? Or staying where you are, letting the ED continue stealing your time, energy, relationships, and LIFE? The eating disorder has NEVER kept its promises to you. It promised control and gave chaos. It promised perfection and gave obsession. It promised happiness and stole your joy. You've been trusting the WRONG voice for too long. READY TO BUILD TRUST THROUGH PARTNERSHIP? If you're tired of trying to figure this out alone... If you're ready for support that actually understands where you are... If you want someone who's been exactly where you are and knows the way forward... 👉 Head to www.herbestself.co and fill out a client application What I promise: I will trust you to recover until you can trust yourself. I'll hold that belief when you can't. I'll see your strength when all you see is struggle. This is partnership that creates actual transformation—not just another attempt. Trust yourself enough to take the next step. You don't have to take it alone. Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.    

If your goal is to "recover from your eating disorder," what happens when you get there? Then what? Here's the problem: When you set the goal to recover, you're setting a goal with a finish line. But recovery isn't a destination. It's a journey of BECOMING. In this episode, I'm challenging you to shift your focus from what you want to change to who you need to become to achieve freedom. And it starts with understanding your NOW needs. Using Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, I break down why you can't move forward in recovery if your basic needs aren't even being met—and what to do about it RIGHT NOW. In this episode, you'll discover: Why setting a goal to "recover" sabotages your success What recovery will make OF you (not just what it will give you) The problem: You're reinforcing a belief that you can't find freedom Maslow's Hierarchy explained: Basic needs → Psychological needs → Self-fulfillment Why you can't function without basic needs met (food, water, sleep, safety, stability) How the eating disorder hijacks your brain and keeps you from meeting essential needs Why low self-esteem and broken relationships stem from unmet BASIC needs The shift: Stop focusing on what you want to change, start focusing on who you want to BECOME One challenge: Do one thing every day you don't want to do How to validate your feelings, own your needs, and grant yourself permission The truth: No one is going to recover FOR you—you have to do something about it The wake-up call: You decide where your time goes. And if you don't decide, the world will decide for you. MASLOW'S HIERARCHY OF NEEDS & ED RECOVERY The 5-Tier Model: 1. BASIC/SURVIVAL NEEDS (Foundation) Food, water, air, sleep, shelter, clothing, safety, stability, predictability The problem: When your brain has been hijacked by an eating disorder, you're not even getting these basic needs met. Without nourishment, you literally can't function. 2. PSYCHOLOGICAL NEEDS (Built on Basic Needs) Social connections, relationships, self-esteem, confidence, intimate connection, friendships, accomplishments, independence, self-respect The truth: If your basic needs aren't met, your psychological needs WON'T be met. This is why you have low self-esteem. This is why relationships feel broken. 3. SELF-FULFILLMENT NEEDS (Top of Pyramid) Problem-solving, growth, exploration, creativity, purpose, meaning The reality: You can't get here if you're not nourishing your body. Without basic needs met, self-fulfillment is impossible. THE SHIFT: FROM RECOVERING TO BECOMING Stop asking: "How do I recover from this eating disorder?" Start asking: Who do I need to BECOME to gain freedom? What does freedom look like to me? What are my NOW needs? What can I do TODAY to honor where I want to go TOMORROW? The truth: Your past and current distorted identity has created your current reality. It sabotages your success. This false identity creates negative habits that lead to negative outcomes—and reinforces the cycle. The problem isn't that you can't do it. The problem is you're consistently staying in the cycle that reinforces the belief that you CAN'T. YOUR NOW NEEDS: THE CHALLENGE This week, do ONE thing every day that you don't want to do. Then ask yourself: How am I currently meeting my needs today? What needs do I need met RIGHT NOW? Are my BASIC needs even being met? Remember: Without nourishment, you can't even begin to move into love, belonging, self-esteem, or purpose. THE 4 STEPS TO HONOR YOUR NOW NEEDS STEP 1: VALIDATE YOUR FEELINGS & OWN YOUR NEEDS Admit and identify a NOW need: Do I need to eat breakfast earlier? Do I need two more hours of sleep? Do I need to feel safe and protected? How will I create that? Set the goal of WHO you're becoming in the process. STEP 2: GRANT YOURSELF PERMISSION & SET PRIORITIES Give yourself permission to put yourself FIRST. Permission + Priorities = Power We give grace and compassion to everyone else, but struggle to do the same for ourselves. Today, WEAR permission. Rock it out. STEP 3: REFLECT, PRAY, JOURNAL, THINK Don't overthink. Just think. Ask yourself: What are my NOW needs? What do I need to feel satisfied, purposeful, joyful, happy? What do I have to do RIGHT NOW from a basic need standpoint to step into what I ultimately want for my life? STEP 4: DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT No one is going to recover FOR you. No one is going to: Gain the weight for you Sit in your head for you Be at the finish line for you You have to do something different. Because the truth is: You can listen to this show on repeat, but if you don't DO something about it, you're going to sit here stuck. THE TRUTH ABOUT RECOVERY When I actually recovered from my eating disorder, I didn't recognize my old self. I didn't even know who she was. I was fully transformed. Recovery isn't about checking a box. You still wake up. You still look at yourself in the mirror. You're still learning, growing, doing, BECOMING. Change your focus: From what you're trying to achieve → To WHO you need to be to achieve it. KEY QUOTES 💛 "If you set the goal to recover, you're setting a goal with a finish line. I want you to set the goal of what recovery will make OF you." 💛 "This journey is about BECOMING. And becoming requires DOING." 💛 "The problem isn't that you can't do it. The problem is you're consistently staying in the cycle that reinforces the belief that you can't." 💛 "Without nourishment, you can't even begin to move into the next level of needs like love and belonging." 💛 "You decide where your time goes. And if you don't decide, the world will decide for you." 💛 "No one was going to recover for me. No one was going to be at the finish line. No one was going to gain the weight for me. No one was going to sit in my own head but me." 💛 "If you really want to do something, you'll find a way. If not, you'll just find another excuse." - Jim Rohn 💛 "Stop focusing on what you want to change. Start focusing on who you want to BECOME." 💛 "Your purpose on this planet is not to be worried about your body. Your purpose is to show up authentically YOU. But in order to become her, you must start doing something differently." THE ONE QUESTION TO ASK YOURSELF "What am I doing right now TODAY that my future self is going to love me for?" If you want to be recovered, you have to DO something to get there. WHAT ARE YOUR NOW NEEDS? Identify ONE need right now: Accountability? Community? A really good meal? Permission to rest? Setting boundaries? Surrendering? What is the ONE thing you need right now in your heart, in your life? Then DO something about it. READY TO MEET YOUR NOW NEEDS WITH SUPPORT? 💛 HER BEST SELF SOCIETY Join our private Facebook community for support, accountability, and connection. 👉 www.herbestselfsociety.com  💛 1:1 RECOVERY COACHING If your NOW need is support and accountability to finally move forward—let's partner together. 👉 www.herbestself.co  - Fill out a client application Your purpose on this planet is NOT to be worried about your body, the scale, or the label. Your purpose is to show up authentically YOU. But in order to become her, you must start doing something differently. Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.    

February is Eating Disorder Awareness Month. And if you're stuck in quasi-recovery, telling yourself "I'm fine," avoiding help because you're ashamed—this is your wake-up call. I'm sharing 2026 statistics you haven't heard, alarming trends getting WORSE, and the truth about Ozempic, social media, and eating disorders. Because sis, you are not a statistic. At least not a negative one. But you need to hear this. What you'll learn: Why eating disorders increased 15% since 2020 (28.8 million Americans affected) The shocking truth: Every 52 minutes someone dies, only 10% get treatment Midlife crisis: 42% increase in hospitalizations for women 45-65 Ozempic danger: 300% prescription increase, 40% of users have ED histories, 45% relapse when stopping Social media impact: 3+ hours/day = 60% higher ED risk Post-pandemic fallout: 25-30% global increase still climbing My story: When I refused to be a negative statistic 3-question self-assessment to know if you need help NOW The wake-up call: Every day you wait, you're missing out on life. KEY STATISTICS 📊 28.8 million Americans will have an ED in their lifetime (15% increase since 2020) 📊 Every 52 minutes someone dies from an eating disorder 📊 Only 10% receive treatment (women 40+ wait 6-8 years longer) 📊 42% increase in midlife ED hospitalizations (women 45-65) 📊 60% higher ED risk with 3+ hours daily social media use 📊 300% increase in Ozempic/GLP-1 prescriptions (60-70% for weight loss, not diabetes) 📊 40% increase in ED patients requesting weight loss drugs 📊 45% relapse rate when stopping GLP-1s (rapid weight regain triggers ED) 📊 25-30% global increase in EDs since 2020 (still climbing) THE 5 ALARMING TRENDS 1. MIDLIFE EATING DISORDERS EXPLODING 42% increase in hospitalizations for women 45-65. If you're over 40 thinking "I'm too old for this"—you're wrong. 2. SOCIAL MEDIA FEEDING THE CRISIS 3+ hours/day = 60% higher risk. #Ozempic has 1.3 billion views. You're being fed anti-aging, menopause weight loss, restriction disguised as wellness. 3. OZEMPIC NORMALIZING DISORDERED EATING 12 million Americans using GLP-1s. 30% of ED treatment centers treating patients whose ED was triggered by these drugs. These suppress appetite, reinforce that hunger is the enemy, bypass actual healing. Ask yourself: Am I healing my relationship with my body? Or medicalizing my eating disorder? 4. DIET CULTURE AS "WELLNESS" Orthorexia rising. Gluten-free, intermittent fasting, cleanses—these are eating disorders in disguise. If you have rigid food rules and anxiety around "unclean" foods, that's disordered eating. 5. POST-PANDEMIC CRISIS CONTINUES Six years later, anxiety up, depression up, eating disorders up. If your ED got worse during the pandemic and you've been saying "later"—later is NOW. LINDSEY'S STORY Years ago, someone told me most people with eating disorders don't fully recover. That I'd probably struggle forever. That the odds were against me. Something inside me snapped. I got angry—not at them, but at the eating disorder. So I decided: I'm not going to be that statistic. I refuse. I stopped avoiding, denying, pretending. I got help. I did the work. I recovered. I'm NOT a negative statistic. I'm a RECOVERY statistic. And you can be too. 3-QUESTION SELF-ASSESSMENT Answer honestly: Am I engaging in unhealthy behaviors but telling myself they're "not that bad"? (Skipping meals, restricting, overexercising, weighing obsessively, purging, binging, using appetite suppressants) Am I avoiding help because I'm ashamed, scared, or in denial? ("I'll deal with it later," "I can handle it alone," "It's not serious enough") Is my relationship with food/body stealing my joy, energy, presence, LIFE? (Missing moments, obsessing, sacrificing relationships, constant anxiety) If you said YES to even ONE: You need support! THE ONE THING YOU CAN DO TODAY Share this episode with someone who needs it Do the self-assessment - be honest If you need help—REACH OUT Don't wait 6-8 more years. Don't become another statistic. Don't waste the second half of your life. You deserve recovery. You deserve freedom. You deserve to LIVE. WORK WITH LINDSEY 💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE Group coaching for women in midlife ready to break free. Monthly calls, sisterhood, access to me. www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective  💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING Deep work to reclaim your life. Limited spots available. www.herbestself.co    KEY QUOTES 💛 "You are not a statistic. At least not a negative one." 💛 "Every 52 minutes, someone loses their life to this illness." 💛 "If you're waiting for it to get bad enough, you're already in danger." 💛 "Ask yourself: Am I healing my relationship with my body? Or am I just medicalizing my eating disorder?" 💛 "I'm NOT a negative statistic. I'm a RECOVERY statistic. And you can be too." 💛 "Every day you wait, you're missing the second half of your life." Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worthy of support and love.  Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.    

The opposite of quitting is recommitting. And sometimes that means you need a spelled-out roadmap to help you define what steps you can take to recommit to recovery. Today's episode is different. I'm not speaking in theoretical terms or giving advice I wouldn't follow myself. I'm sharing exactly what I would do if I was trapped in an eating disorder right now. The actual steps. The concrete path forward. The golden nugget roadmap I would follow myself. Whether you're experiencing a relapse, stuck in your recovery, or wish you could go back and tell your younger self what to do—this episode is your clear, actionable guide. In this episode, you'll discover: The 6-step roadmap I'd follow if I was trapped in an eating disorder today Why relapse is normal and doesn't mean you've failed Step 1: Recognition and acceptance—how to get out of denial faster Step 2: Immediate outreach—breaking the isolation that keeps you stuck Step 3: Implementing structure—what to do RIGHT NOW to support yourself Step 4: Investigating triggers—what's really driving this beneath the surface Step 5: Developing a crisis response plan—how to create lasting recovery Step 6: Reconnecting with your WHY—the values your ED is violating What I wish I could tell my younger self 15+ years ago Why recovery isn't about perfection—it's about progress How to recommit to your best self starting TODAY If you're in the trenches, if you've relapsed, if you're struggling—this roadmap is for you. Not theory. Just honest, practical steps. THE 6-STEP RECOVERY ROADMAP STEP 1: RECOGNITION AND ACCEPTANCE The hardest step: Admitting where you are is no longer where you want to be. If I was relapsing today, I know I'd experience a strong pull toward denial. I might tell myself: "I'm just being more careful about what I eat" "I'm having a few bad days" "I can handle this on my own" What I'd do instead: ✅ Name what's happening - Get out of denial faster ✅ Ask myself: Am I skipping meals? Preoccupied with food thoughts? Anxious around mealtimes? Weighing myself? ✅ Practice self-compassion - Not excusing the behavior, but acknowledging eating disorders are complex illnesses, not personal failures ✅ Say to myself: "This is really hard. I don't have to do this alone." This step creates the foundation to move forward in ACTION instead of sitting in denial. STEP 2: IMMEDIATE OUTREACH Eating disorders thrive in isolation. My counter-attack would be CONNECTION. What I'd do: ✅ Contact someone I trust - In my case, my mom. I'd say: "I'm struggling with my thoughts and behaviors. I need support." ✅ Get professional help immediately If I had a treatment team: Contact them and say "I'm experiencing relapse. I need an appointment ASAP." If I didn't: Call primary care doctor, get a referral, look into local ED treatment centers ✅ Get accountability - Schedule meals, keep appointments with myself, check in with someone Key truth: Don't wait until things get "bad enough." Early intervention makes a tremendous difference. Breaking isolation doesn't mean everyone needs to know. It means strategically connecting with people who can provide support. STEP 3: IMPLEMENTING STRUCTURE What I'd put in place immediately: ✅ Regular eating patterns - Have a plan ready, no reinventing the wheel during vulnerable times. Use the same meals daily to reduce decision fatigue. ✅ Clean up social media & entertainment Unfollow accounts that trigger comparison or food obsession Avoid shows glorifying thinness or dieting Curate recovery-supportive content Join communities like Her Best Self Society (HerBestSelfSociety.com) ✅ Set clear boundaries with exercise - Temporarily pause formalized exercise, focus on gentle movement (This requires support—I couldn't do this alone) ✅ Document thoughts & feelings - Not to be perfect, but to increase awareness of patterns and triggers. Rebuild trust with body and mind. Structure = support. Not rigidity, but safety. STEP 4: INVESTIGATING TRIGGERS Eating disorders aren't just about food or weight. What's really happening beneath the surface? Questions I'd ask myself: ❓ What changes in my life have happened recently? (Transition, loss, increased responsibility, relationship change) ❓ What emotions am I struggling to manage? ❓ What am I trying to numb, distract from, or control? ❓ What needs aren't being met right now? ❓ What external pressures am I responding to? ❓ What beliefs am I believing about my worth, body, or identity? The truth: Eating disorders flare during periods of change and loss of control. Understanding triggers helps you heal beyond just the behaviors—you learn to process emotions in healthier ways. STEP 5: DEVELOPING A CRISIS RESPONSE PLAN Lasting recovery requires more than just putting out fires. What I'd create: ✅ Coping strategies - Tools to use when urges arise ✅ Relapse prevention plan - Document early warning signs, high-risk situations, actions to take ✅ Support system - Who to call, when, and why The sustainable plan is about building a life where: The eating disorder becomes less necessary and less powerful Recovery feels like moving TOWARD something meaningful Not just running away from illness Work with someone to determine exactly what support you need and put that planning in place. STEP 6: RECONNECTING WITH YOUR WHY The most important step: Remember what the eating disorder is stealing from you. What I'd do: ✅ Identify the values my ED violates The ED promises control, safety, worth. But it actually undermines: freedom, joy, creativity, authenticity, relationships, purpose. ✅ Compile a list: What has this ED taken from me? Holidays ruined Relationships lost Moments with loved ones missed Energy wasted Dreams on hold Future opportunities destroyed ✅ Ask: What present moments is it stealing RIGHT NOW? What future opportunities will be destroyed if I don't fix this? ✅ Dream beyond the disorder - What do I want my life to look like? Who is my BEST self? If I could go back 15+ years and tell my younger self: "You're gonna go through this godawful period, but on the other side is MAGICAL. You'll experience things you never would've allowed—wonderful relationships, contributions to the world, PURPOSE. Start dreaming NOW of the vision beyond this disorder." KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE 💛 "The opposite of quitting is recommitting. And sometimes that means you need a spelled-out roadmap." 💛 "If you're experiencing a relapse, this is very normal. It doesn't mean you failed. It simply means you're human." 💛 "Eating disorders thrive in isolation. My counter-attack would be CONNECTION." 💛 "Don't wait until things get 'bad enough.' Early intervention makes a tremendous difference." 💛 "Eating disorders aren't just about food or weight. What's really happening beneath the surface?" 💛 "The sustainable plan is about building a life where the eating disorder becomes less necessary and less powerful." 💛 "What has this eating disorder taken from me? What present moments is it stealing? What future opportunities will be destroyed if I don't fix this?" 💛 "Recovery isn't about doing everything perfectly. It's about progress, not perfection. Every compassionate moment with yourself is a victory." 💛 "Recovery isn't a destination you reach once and for all. These are skills you're learning." 💛 "You haven't failed. You've simply encountered another opportunity to practice compassion and recommit to the path toward freedom." 💛 "Whether this is your first day in recovery or your thousandth, whether you're thriving or struggling, you're worthy of support, compassion, and a life free from these constraints." 💛 "Recovery isn't just possible—with the right support and recommitment, it's inevitable." THE TRUTH ABOUT RELAPSE Relapse is NORMAL. It's part of recovery. ✅ It doesn't mean you've failed ✅ It means you're human ✅ It's another opportunity to practice compassion and recommit ✅ Reaching out for support is courage, not weakness If you're in a relapse right now, you're not alone. WHAT I WISH I COULD TELL MY YOUNGER SELF If I could go back 15+ years: "Friend, you're gonna have to go through this godawful period of your life, but on the other side is going to be MAGICAL. It's going to be so good. You'll experience things you never would've allowed—wonderful relationships, contributions to the world, PURPOSE." "Start dreaming RIGHT NOW of the vision you want beyond the eating disorder." "Ask yourself: What has this disorder taken from me? What is it stealing from my present? What future will be destroyed if I don't fix this?" READY TO TAKE ACTION? WORK WITH LINDSEY If you're struggling with disordered eating or an eating disorder that's been around for decades, and you're tired and fed up—I want to help you. I feel called to help as many women as possible get to the other side and recover from this devastating illness. Here's your personal invitation: Let's take this up a notch. 💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING This is where my gift shines. I'm able to get you RESULTS. We work together on tiny wins that lead to massive overcoming and triumph. I'm opening the doors to take on a few additional clients. If you've been on the fence about working with a recovery coach—now's the time. Don't wait. Commit to your future self. 👉 Head to www.herbestself.co and fill out a client application We'll get on the phone together and talk about what you need to navigate next steps in your recovery journey. 💛 HER BEST SELF SOCIETY Join our private Facebook community where you'll be with like-minded individuals focused on recovery, not thinness. 👉 www.herbestselfsociety.com  EATING DISORDER AWARENESS MONTH CHALLENGE If you're in a relapse or currently struggling: REACH OUT. Don't wait another year. Don't wait another decade. The perfect time is NOW. +Share this episode with a woman who needs to hear this. Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.    

I just turned 40 last month. And I don't know what shifts inside at midlife, but something changes when you hit this milestone. You start asking different questions: "Is this it?" "Is this who I really am?" "Is this all there is for me?" And if you've been battling an eating disorder for decades—maybe 10 years, maybe 20, maybe 30—you're asking an even harder question: "Who am I without this?" It's Eating Disorder Awareness Month. And this year, I want to talk about something we don't talk about enough—eating disorders in midlife. Did you know that eating disorder hospitalizations for women aged 45-65 have increased by 42% in the last decade? And yet, we still act like eating disorders are just a "young woman's problem." But if you're a woman in your late 30s, 40s, 50s, or beyond, and you're still struggling, I see you. This is NOT just a young woman's issue. And this episode? This one's for you. Because here's the truth: Midlife is an identity crisis. And breaking up with your eating disorder? That's an identity crisis too. And when those two collide, it can feel overwhelming. But what if this collision isn't a crisis at all? What if it's a crossroads? What if midlife is the PERFECT time to finally break free? IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL DISCOVER: Why midlife identity crisis and ED identity crisis are shockingly similar The statistics: 42% increase in ED hospitalizations for women 45-65, 13% of women over 50 engage in disordered eating Why more women are reaching out for support in midlife (and why that's powerful) The 5 reasons why NOW is the perfect season to go all in on recovery Why menopause/perimenopause can actually SUPPORT your recovery, not hinder it How to answer "I've had this for 30 years—how can I possibly recover now?" Real client stories: Women who recovered at 47, 52, and 61 What life AFTER ED in midlife actually looks like The reframe: This isn't a crisis, it's a crossroads Why the second half of your life is waiting for you to reclaim it KEY QUOTES 💛 "Midlife is an identity crisis. And breaking up with your eating disorder? That's an identity crisis too." 💛 "In midlife you ask: 'Who am I now that my kids don't need me?' In ED recovery you ask: 'Who am I without my eating disorder?' And the hardest question: 'I don't recognize myself anymore. So who AM I?'" 💛 "Eating disorder hospitalizations for women aged 45-65 have increased by 42% in the last decade. This is NOT just a young woman's issue." 💛 "You don't want to waste the second half of your life still trapped in this. You've already given the eating disorder the first half. You're not giving it the second." 💛 "Your body is changing whether you restrict or not. So what if you nourished it through this transition instead of punishing it?" 💛 "The question isn't 'How can I recover during menopause?' The question is 'How can I NOT recover during menopause?' 💛 "Recovery doesn't have an age limit. And it's not too late for you. The only thing that's too late? Waiting another decade to start." 💛 "This isn't a crisis. It's a crossroads. Midlife isn't the end. It's the beginning of the second half." 💛 "This is YOUR era. This is YOUR time." THE STATISTICS 📊 42% increase in eating disorder hospitalizations for women aged 45-65 in the last decade 📊 13% of women over 50 report disordered eating behaviors 📊 62% of women in midlife report weight and shape concerns significantly impact quality of life 📊 Women who seek treatment in their 40s and 50s have recovery rates comparable to—and sometimes BETTER than—younger women The truth: It is NOT too late. THE 5 REASONS WHY MIDLIFE IS THE PERFECT TIME TO RECOVER 1. You're running out of patience, not time You've tried everything. You're DONE. That urgency is your fuel. 2. "If not now, then when?" You're not wasting the second half of your life on this. 3. Your kids need less of you = space for YOU Finally, permission to ask: "What do I need?" 4. You're wiser now You're chasing presence, connection, LIFE—not perfection. 5. You have the resources now Financial, emotional, relational—you're ready to invest in yourself. MENOPAUSE & RECOVERY: WHY THEY WORK TOGETHER Your body is changing whether you restrict or not → Nourish it through the transition Hormonal shifts require MORE nourishment, not less → Support bone density, muscle mass, mental health Perimenopause forces you to let go of control → Exactly what recovery requires Recovery sets you up for a healthier second half → Bone health, heart health, energy, longevity REAL CLIENT STORIES ✨ Age 52: 33 years with bulimia. Today she's free, travels, eats without fear, rebuilding relationships. ✨ Age 47: Restricted her entire adult life. Today she's in the best health of her life—strong, energized, PRESENT. ✨ Age 61: "I spent 40 years believing I'd never be free. But I'm free now. And I have so much life left to live." WHAT LIFE AFTER ED IN MIDLIFE LOOKS LIKE 🌟 You wake up without immediately thinking about food or your body 🌟 You eat breakfast without guilt 🌟 You have ENERGY for work, passions, relationships 🌟 You're PRESENT with the people you love 🌟 You look in the mirror and recognize yourself—the REAL you 🌟 You travel, try new things, LIVE 🌟 You answer "Is this it?" with "No. This is just the beginning." THE REFRAME This isn't a crisis. It's a crossroads. You get to decide: Who do I want to be? How do I want to show up? What do I want my legacy to be? And the eating disorder? It doesn't get a vote. READY TO RECLAIM THE SECOND HALF OF YOUR LIFE? 💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE Group coaching for women in midlife ready to break free. Monthly calls, sisterhood, support. www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective  💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING Deep, transformational work to reclaim YOUR life. This is YOUR era. 👉 www.herbestself.co  - Fill out a client application EATING DISORDER AWARENESS MONTH CHALLENGE If you're in midlife and still struggling: REACH OUT. Don't wait another year. Don't wait another decade. The perfect time is NOW. Share this episode with a woman in midlife who needs to hear this. Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.    

The cost of perfection left me perfectly exhausted. Be thin, but not too thin. Be confident but not overly confident. Be successful, but not too successful. If you're with me and you experience the pressure to be perfect, this is a perfect paradox—and it is time to dump the impossible standards that are destroying your mental health and that are so tied to eating disorders. In this episode, I'm diving into the relentless pressure to be perfect and how it's literally rewiring your brain to keep you stuck. Whether you're just starting your recovery journey or you've been on this path for years, perfectionism might feel like both an old friend and your biggest obstacle. And when you couple perfectionism with the pressure from culture and society to be Instagram-ready? The output you receive is simply exhaustion. You're exhausted, sis. And trying to live up to these impossible standards. But today, we're going to dissect this. We're going to look at what science says about breaking free. Because you don't just have to take my word for it—research shows your brain can actually change. In this episode, you'll discover: The impossible standards we're all trying to live up to (and why they're literally impossible) The shocking statistics: 68% of individuals with eating disorders display clinically significant perfectionism Why perfectionism often appears YEARS before any eating disorder behaviors The deep roots of perfectionism: family dynamics, trauma, social media (users who spend 3+ hours/day are 60% more likely to develop body image issues) The neuroscience: How perfectionists have heightened activity in the brain's "error detection center" How altered serotonin and dopamine systems make it harder for perfectionists to feel "good enough" or satisfied The vicious cycle: threat detection → anxiety → perfectionist behaviors → temporary relief → reinforced neural pathways The HOPE: How mindfulness, self-compassion, and exposure to imperfection can actually change your brain Why true recovery happens when you stop trying to do it perfectly and start doing it honestly A powerful devotional insight: "God won't bless who you pretend to be" The truth: Your worth isn't measured by impossible standards—it's measured by your courage to show up If you're tired of being tired, if you're exhausted from trying to be "perfect," if you feel stuck in the perfect paradox—this episode will give you both the science and the hope you need to break free. KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE 💛 "The cost of perfection left me perfectly exhausted." 💛 "Be thin, but not too thin. Be confident but not overly confident. Be successful, but not too successful. This is a perfect paradox and it is time to dump the impossible standards that are destroying your mental health." 💛 "That perfection you're chasing? It's like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands. Not humanly possible. It's just not possible." 💛 "I remember thinking that if I could just get everything perfect—my meals, my exercise, my body—then finally I'd be enough." 💛 "Research shows that up to 68% of individuals with eating disorders display clinically significant perfectionism. And perfectionism often appears even years before any eating disorder behaviors." 💛 "Perfectionists have heightened activity in the brain's error detection center. It acts like this oversensitive alarm system that's constantly scanning for things you're doing wrong or for mistakes." 💛 "The 'feel good' chemical—serotonin—is altered if you're a perfectionist, meaning the chemical that affects your mood regulation, your satisfaction, and the ability to feel good enough is altered." 💛 "Altered dopamine reward circuits make it harder to feel satisfied. It makes it harder for you to feel good enough. This creates that constant drive, that constant need to do better, to achieve more, to be smaller." 💛 "This cycle is created: Your threat detection system becomes hyperactive. This leads to increased anxiety. Anxiety triggers perfectionist behaviors. This gives you temporary relief. But it simply reinforces the cycle." 💛 "There is hope. With mindfulness practices, with self-compassion, with the opposite of perfection—being exposed to situations where you're almost forced to be imperfect—research shows you can actually change that hyperactivity in the brain." 💛 "Even if you feel like recovery is impossible, even if you feel like you've been doing this forever, I want you to understand that there is a neurobiological connection and research shows you can change. Your brain can change." 💛 "True recovery happens when you stop trying to do it perfectly and you start doing it honestly." 💛 "In a world filled with protocol, a never-ending list of do's and don'ts, and the pressure to be perfect, it can seem impossible to discover who you really are. But God uniquely made you. Nothing about you is a mistake, and He won't bless who you pretend to be." 💛 "Stop conforming, stop shrinking, stop dimming your light, and stop running from who and what you were always made to be." 💛 "Recovery is not about being perfect. It's about being present. It's about being real. It's about being gentle with you." 💛 "Your worth isn't measured by the ability to meet impossible standards, but it is measured by your courage to show up." THE IMPOSSIBLE STANDARDS (THE PERFECT PARADOX) You're trying to live up to contradictions that are literally impossible: ❌ Be thin, but not too thin ❌ Be confident, but not overly confident ❌ Be successful, but not too successful ❌ Be perfect with your meals, exercise, and body—then maybe you'll be enough The reality? These standards are like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands. They're not humanly possible. And when you couple perfectionism with the pressure from culture and society to be Instagram-ready, the output is exhaustion. Of course you're tired. Of course you're tired of being tired. It is impossible living up to these standards. THE STATISTICS: PERFECTIONISM & EATING DISORDERS 68% of individuals with eating disorders display clinically significant perfectionism Perfectionism often appears YEARS before any eating disorder behaviors - making it a crucial early warning sign Perfectionism remains elevated even AFTER recovery - making it a crucial focus in treatment and why so many people find themselves stuck in the "messy middle" of recovery Social media impact: Users who spend 3+ hours a day on social media are 60% more likely to develop body image issues THE DEEP ROOTS: WHERE PERFECTIONISM COMES FROM Your perfectionism didn't just appear out of nowhere. It has roots: 🌱 Early environmental factors: Family dynamics Parental expectations Academic and achievement pressure 🌱 Early exposure to: Diet culture Specific body ideals Trauma and childhood experiences 🌱 Social media's impact: Constant comparison Curated perfection Impossible standards reinforced daily THE NEUROSCIENCE: WHAT'S HAPPENING IN YOUR BRAIN 1. HEIGHTENED ERROR DETECTION CENTER Perfectionists have heightened activity in the brain's error detection center. It acts like an oversensitive alarm system constantly scanning for things you're doing wrong or mistakes. This hyperactivity creates a feedback loop of anxiety and self-criticism. This is how your brain keeps you "safe"—but it's also what keeps you stuck. 2. ALTERED SEROTONIN (THE "FEEL GOOD" CHEMICAL) Perfectionists often show altered functioning in serotonin—the chemical that affects: Mood regulation Satisfaction The ability to feel "good enough" Translation: It's harder for you to feel satisfied or content. This explains why perfectionism often co-occurs with anxiety, depression, and eating disorders. 3. ALTERED DOPAMINE (THE "REWARD" CHEMICAL) Perfectionists also show altered dopamine reward circuits, which means: It's harder to feel satisfied It's harder to feel "good enough" You have a constant drive to do better, achieve more, be smaller 4. ELEVATED CORTISOL (THE "STRESS" HORMONE) Constant stress and elevated cortisol levels: Make relaxation and self-acceptance SO much more challenging Impact immune function and physical health Worsen eating disorder symptoms (because you're stressed, tired, not eating enough to nourish your body) 5. REDUCED COGNITIVE FLEXIBILITY All of this makes it harder for you to: Be flexible in your thinking Accept the concept of not being perfect Navigate uncertainty THE VICIOUS CYCLE: HOW PERFECTIONISM KEEPS YOU STUCK Here's how the cycle works: 1. Threat Detection System on Overdrive Your brain's alarm system becomes hyperactive ↓ 2. Increased Anxiety Anxiety about failure, not being good enough, rejection, not being worthy ↓ 3. Perfectionist Behaviors Triggered Insert unhealthy eating disorder coping mechanisms ↓ 4. Temporary Relief You get a hit of that "feel superior" chemical because you feel in control ↓ 5. Cycle Reinforced This strengthens the neural pathway over time—like digging a ditch deeper and deeper in your mind ↓ REPEAT This is why it feels like you're literally crawling out of your skin. You want to do something differently, but you're not. The action is hard. If you're there, I see you. I get it. THE HOPE: YOUR BRAIN CAN CHANGE Here's the beautiful truth: Your brain can actually change. With: ✅ Mindfulness practices ✅ Self-compassion ✅ Exposure to imperfection (being in situations where you're forced to be imperfect and there's nothing you can do about it) ✅ New learning experiences (exposures) Research shows you can: Change that hyperactivity in the brain Improve serotonin function Create newer and healthier neural pathways That ditch can stop digging in one place and move to a different place in your brain that's gonna create healthier results for you. THE TRUTH: EVEN IF YOU FEEL STUCK, CHANGE IS POSSIBLE Even if: You feel like recovery is impossible You feel like you've been doing this forever You identify with being a perfectionist with structure and rigid routines You feel like maybe it's possible for HER to recover, but not for YOU I want you to understand: There is a neurobiological connection. Research shows you can change. Your brain can change. You can create absolutely new and healthier pathways. WHAT THIS MEANS FOR YOU You don't have to: ❌ Be thin, but not too thin ❌ Be confident, but not overly confident ❌ Be the most successful to be enough True recovery happens when you stop trying to do it perfectly and you start doing it honestly. Just getting honest with yourself. Looking at the research. Pointing to the facts. Science shows: Changes in your brain are possible. It's the exposure to being imperfect. It's creating self-compassion within you. It's putting yourself in new experiences. This is just collecting data. We're just trying to put ourselves in this experiment. What does that teach us? THE HARD TRUTH As we go into a new month, ask yourself: Are you showing up day after day exactly as you are? Or are you playing a role of who it is that you desire to be—yet you're not even happy in that version? Recovery is measured by your courage to show up exactly as you are. Authentically. YOUR REFLECTION QUESTION What is one area where perfectionism really shows up for you right now? Come share with us: 💛 Private Facebook Community: Her Best Self Society www.herbestselfsociety.com  💛 Instagram DM: @thelindseynichol I want to bring awareness about perfection. Because we hear "life isn't about being perfect"—but we don't actually LIVE that, sis. THE CLOSING TRUTH Recovery is not about being perfect. Life is not about being perfect. It's about: ✨ Being present ✨ Being real with the real people you have here now ✨ Being gentle with you Your worth isn't measured by the ability to meet impossible standards. It's measured by your courage to show up. NEED SUPPORT TO BREAK FREE FROM PERFECTIONISM? WORK WITH LINDSEY 💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE My group coaching community where women come together to heal, let go of perfectionism, and do the deep work of recovery. You'll have access to me, monthly coaching calls, and a sisterhood that gets you. www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective 💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING If you're ready for deep, transformational work to rewire your perfectionist brain and finally find freedom—let's work together. 👉 Head to www.herbestself.co and fill out a client application. 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

There's ONE word that's absolutely destroying your progress in recovery. One word that's keeping you stuck, paralyzed, and living in a constant state of shame and disappointment. That word? Should. And sis, you need to stop shoulding all over yourself. Like, right now. Today. Because every time you tell yourself what you "should" be doing, what you "should" have accomplished by now, where you "should" be in your recovery—you're not motivating yourself. You're actually making it HARDER to take action. In this episode, I'm breaking down the science behind why "should" keeps you stuck, where all these "shoulds" come from in the first place, and giving you 5 powerful reframes you can start using TODAY to break free from the shame cycle and actually move forward. In this episode, you'll discover: The ONE word you need to stop using if you want to become the best version of yourself Where your "shoulds" come from (diet culture, perfectionism, family expectations, trauma, comparison) The science: Why "should" is the language of obligation, not empowerment Research from Stanford showing how "should" keeps your brain stuck in self-criticism instead of problem-solving How "shoulding" shows up specifically in eating disorder recovery Lindsey's personal story: "I should be over this by now" (like a bad boyfriend from 3 months ago) 5 powerful reframes to replace your "shoulds" with choice and compassion Why you're not behind, not failing, and not broken The edge: How to stop using "should" as an excuse to stay stuck A tangible homework assignment to catch yourself "shoulding" and reframe it If you've ever thought "I should eat this," "I should start today," "I should be further along," or "I should be over this by now"—this episode is your wake-up call. Stop shoulding. Start choosing. Become who you're BECOMING, not who you "should" be. KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE 💛 "Every time you tell yourself what you 'should' be doing, what you 'should' have accomplished by now, where you 'should' be in your recovery—you're not motivating yourself. You're actually making it HARDER to take action." 💛 "Your 'shoulds' didn't just appear out of nowhere. They were planted. They were taught. They were absorbed from every message you've ever received about who you're supposed to be." 💛 "These 'shoulds' create this distortion in your mind that where you currently are is SO far behind where you 'should' be. And so you live in this constant state of not enough." 💛 "'Should' is the language of obligation, not empowerment. It's the language of shame, not choice." 💛 "When we focus on what we 'should' be doing but aren't, our brain gets stuck in a loop of self-criticism rather than problem-solving. We're so focused on the gap that we can't actually take action to close it." 💛 "'Should' keeps you stuck focusing on what you AREN'T doing rather than what you ARE doing or COULD do." 💛 "I remember thinking, 'I should be over this by now. It's been YEARS. This is like a bad boyfriend I dated for three months—why am I still thinking about him?' And I felt so much shame." 💛 "I asked a different question: 'But should I? Should I be "over" something that was part of my life for so long? Should I expect perfection from myself?' And the answer? No." 💛 "You are not behind. You are not failing. You are not broken. You're healing. And healing doesn't follow a script." 💛 "If you're constantly 'shoulding' yourself but not taking action, you're using 'should' as an excuse to stay stuck." 💛 "Stop talking about what you 'should' do and start choosing what you WILL do." 💛 "The words you use shape the life you live. And if you're constantly shoulding yourself, you're living in a prison of obligation and shame." THE SCIENCE: WHY "SHOULD" KEEPS YOU STUCK Dr. Albert Ellis, founder of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, identified "should statements" as one of the core irrational beliefs that lead to emotional disturbance. He called it "shoulding" and "musturbation"—the belief that things MUST or SHOULD be a certain way. When reality doesn't match that "should," we experience anxiety, depression, guilt, and shame. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology study: People who use obligatory language like "should," "must," and "have to" experience higher levels of stress and lower levels of intrinsic motivation compared to people who use choice-based language like "choose to," "want to," or "could." Stanford University research: When we focus on what we "should" be doing but aren't, our brain gets stuck in a loop of self-criticism rather than problem-solving. We're so focused on the gap between where we are and where we "should" be that we can't actually take action to close that gap. The bottom line: "Should" keeps you stuck focusing on what you AREN'T doing rather than what you ARE doing or COULD do. WHERE YOUR "SHOULDS" COME FROM Your "shoulds" were planted, taught, and absorbed from: ❌ Diet culture - You should be smaller, eat clean, have willpower, look like her ❌ Perfectionism - You should have this figured out, be recovered already, do this better ❌ Family expectations - You should make everyone proud, not cause problems, be strong ❌ Past trauma - You should have prevented it, known better, be over it by now ❌ Comparison - You should be as far along as she is, making more progress, be different These create a distortion that where you currently are is SO far behind where you "should" be. And that's exhausting—and it's keeping you stuck. HOW "SHOULDING" SHOWS UP IN ED RECOVERY "I should eat this." → Implies obligation, not choice. Strips away agency. Builds resentment, not trust. "I should start today." → Implies you're behind, late, already failed before you begin. Starts with shame instead of hope. "I should be further along by now." → Assumes there's a timeline you're supposed to be on. Ignores YOUR unique journey. "I should be able to eat normally." → Rooted in comparison and unrealistic expectations. Ignores the reality of YOUR story. "I should be over this by now." → The killer. Creates shame for being human and healing at your own pace. LINDSEY'S PERSONAL STORY Years into recovery, Lindsey still had moments where the eating disorder voice crept back in. One day she thought: "I should be over this by now. It's been YEARS. This is like a bad boyfriend I dated for three months—why am I still thinking about him?" She felt intense shame. What's wrong with me? Why am I not fully healed? But then she stopped and asked a different question: "But should I?" Should I be "over" something that was part of my life for so long? Should I expect perfection? Should I shame myself for being human? The answer? No. The reframe: "I'm healing at my own pace. And that's exactly what I need to be doing." Just like that, the shame lifted. The pressure lifted. And she could actually move forward instead of staying stuck in self-judgment. THE 5 POWERFUL REFRAMES REFRAME #1: ❌ Instead of: "I should eat this." ✅ Say: "I choose to nourish my body with this." or "I'm giving my body what it needs." Why it works: Choice language = empowerment. You're not obligated. You're making a conscious decision. REFRAME #2: ❌ Instead of: "I should start today." ✅ Say: "I'm ready to begin today." or "Today is a great day to take the next step." Why it works: Removes the shame of being "behind" and replaces it with readiness and hope. REFRAME #3: ❌ Instead of: "I should be further along by now." ✅ Say: "I'm exactly where I need to be in my journey." or "I'm making progress, even if it doesn't look like I thought it would." Why it works: Honors your unique timeline and removes comparison. Progress isn't linear. REFRAME #4: ❌ Instead of: "I should be able to eat normally." ✅ Say: "I'm learning to eat in a way that honors my body." or "I'm building a new relationship with food, and that takes time." Why it works: Removes unrealistic expectations and replaces them with patience and self-compassion. REFRAME #5: ❌ Instead of: "I should be over this by now." ✅ Say: "I'm healing at my own pace, and that's exactly what I need." or "Recovery is a journey, not a destination. I'm on my way." Why it works: Gives you permission to be human. To heal in YOUR time. To stop rushing the process. THE COMPASSIONATE TRUTH You are not behind. You are not failing. You are not broken. You're healing. And healing doesn't follow a script. It doesn't follow a timeline. It doesn't look the same for everyone. When you stop "shoulding" yourself, you create space for what's actually true: ✅ You're doing the best you can with what you have right now ✅ You're allowed to be imperfect ✅ You're allowed to take your time ✅ You're allowed to choose yourself without shame When you replace "should" with choice, compassion, and truth—you unlock the ability to actually MOVE FORWARD instead of staying stuck in self-judgment. THE EDGE: STOP USING "SHOULD" AS AN EXCUSE If you're constantly "shoulding" yourself but not taking action, you're using "should" as an excuse to stay stuck. "I should start recovery" becomes a way to avoid actually starting "I should eat better" becomes a way to avoid actually nourishing yourself "I should be further along" becomes a way to avoid doing the work to GET further along The challenge: Stop talking about what you "should" do and start choosing what you WILL do. Not because you have to. Not because you're obligated. But because you WANT freedom. Because you're READY to heal. Because you CHOOSE yourself. YOUR HOMEWORK: CATCH & REFRAME Catch yourself "shoulding" three times today. Just three. When you do, pause and ask yourself: Where did this "should" come from? Is it true? Or is it just an expectation I'm putting on myself? What would I say instead if I spoke to myself with compassion? Then reframe it using one of the five reframes above (or create your own). Write it down. Say it out loud. Let your brain hear a different story. Because the words you use shape the life you live. READY TO BUILD BELIEF WITH SUPPORT? WORK WITH LINDSEY 💛 JOIN OUR EMAIL COMMUNITY Get multiple weeks of encouragement, tools, and support delivered straight to your inbox. 👉 Head to www.herbestself.co and get on our email list 💛 WORK WITH A RECOVERY COACH If you're looking for someone to help you along your path to freedom, I have coaches on my team (or myself) who would love to support you. We'll help you incorporate these BELIEF steps in tangible ways—like tools in a toolbox—that are gonna get you living your very best life. 👉 Fill out a client application https://docs.google.com/forms/d/13WDpvmQNoVvAytBdqM72FIp1AqXMfSFrqzQVvBWrwHY/edit  💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE Join my group coaching community where women come together to build belief, support each other, and do the deep work of recovery. www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective  💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING If you're ready for deep, transformational work and personalized support to build unshakeable belief in your recovery—let's partner together. Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.