Her Best Self ~ Eating Disorder Recovery, Anorexia, Bulimia & Food Freedom EP 272: There's No Such Thing as a Perfect Weight⚖️(Your Perfect Weight Is Actually Perfect Freedom)
How much mental and emotional energy do you spend thinking about your weight? And here's the follow-up question: Is it worth it? Is all that energy actually improving your life, making you happier, or making you worth more?
Today I'm offering a completely different perspective: What if your perfect weight isn't a number at all, but rather a state of being? A way of moving through this world where food and your body just don't dominate your thoughts.
If you get nothing else from this episode, write this down: Your perfect weight is perfect freedom.
In this episode, you'll discover:
- Why there's no such thing as a perfect weight (and what to focus on instead)
- How to redefine "perfect weight" as perfect freedom
- Real-life examples of what perfect freedom looks like
- The science behind why fighting your natural weight range backfires
- Why restriction creates the food obsessions you're trying to escape
- How to use your mental energy for relationships, work, and dreams instead of weight monitoring
- Starting points for moving toward weight-inclusive health
- The truth: Your worth isn't tied to your size
Your perfect weight is when you can: ✅ Enjoy dinner with friends without calculating calories
✅ Skip a workout because you're tired (without guilt)
✅ Be fully present on date night instead of scanning menus
✅ Go on vacation without needing a "detox" afterward
✅ Nourish your body with variety—free from restriction
Your perfect weight is perfect freedom.
Instead of focusing on a perfect number, focus on finding perfect trust within yourself and your body.
We've been conditioned to believe that constant vigilance around food and exercise is the only path to health. But what if that very vigilance itself is what's unhealthy?
WHAT PERFECT FREEDOM LOOKS LIKEYour perfect weight is:
- Enjoying an evening out with friends without guilt as an uninvited guest
- Laughing over shared appetizers and ordering what sounds good
- Driving home thinking about conversations, not calories consumed
- Listening to your body and skipping workouts when tired
- Understanding that rest is just as important as movement
- Being fully present during date night—looking into your partner's eyes instead of secretly scanning menu calorie counts
- Coming home from vacation with memories of experiences, not regrets about what you ate
Our bodies are incredibly diverse. Research increasingly shows that health can exist at many different sizes.
Each of us has a genetically influenced weight range where our body functions best—I call this the "freedom point" (others call it set point).
Fighting against this natural range requires constant effort and often results in harmful weight cycling.
The truth about BMI: It was never designed to be an individual health marker. It was created as a population-level statistical tool, and its creator explicitly warned against using it for individual health evaluation.
Health is about:
- Sustainable habits
- Mental wellbeing
- Social connections
- Physical markers like blood pressure and cholesterol
- Many of which improve through healthy behaviors regardless of weight changes
Your body and brain are wired to resist famine. When you severely restrict food groups or calories, your body fights back.
This is where obsessive food thoughts come from—not lack of willpower. This is biology.
The surprise: Food obsessions actually diminish when you start eating enough for your body, including previously forbidden foods. The rebellious urge to binge fades when no foods are labeled as "bad" or "good."
REDEFINING YOUR RELATIONSHIPHow would you eat if you knew your weight would never change?
What would you accomplish if you weren't constantly monitoring your appearance or planning your next diet?
Your perfect weight means:
- Days not consumed by food or body thoughts
- Using mental energy for relationships, work, passions, dreams
- Vacation doesn't end with detox or start with restriction
- Enjoying local cuisines without anxiety
- Coming home with memories, not regrets
1. Work with weight-inclusive practitioners
- Dietitians specializing in intuitive eating
- Therapists who understand body image
- Coaches trained to focus on here and now without scale measurements
2. Curate your media consumption
- Unfollow accounts that make you feel bad about your body
- Unfollow accounts promoting restrictive eating
- Do a social media detox if it's not helping you make pro-recovery choices
3. Practice real self-compassion
- The path isn't linear—there will be ups and downs
- Treat yourself with kindness rather than judgment
- This makes the journey manageable and rewarding
4. Ground yourself in truth
- Your worth isn't tied to your size
- You deserve respect, love, and dignity at any weight
- Your body is a vessel carrying you through this precious life
- It deserves appreciation for what it does, not criticism for how it looks
Your perfect weight isn't a destination you achieve once and check off a to-do list.
It's an ongoing relationship with your body that evolves over time.
There will be days you feel completely at peace with your body and food. There will be days old thought patterns creep back in. That's totally normal.
What matters is the overall direction: moving toward more freedom, more self-compassion, and being less preoccupied with controlling your body.
KEY QUOTES💛 "Your perfect weight is perfect freedom."
💛 "How much mental and emotional energy do you spend thinking about your weight? Is it worth it?"
💛 "What if your perfect weight isn't a number at all, but rather a state of being?"
💛 "The more vigilant you are around food and exercise, the more unhealthy that vigilance itself becomes."
💛 "Your food obsessions aren't from lack of willpower—this is biology."
💛 "How would you eat if you knew your weight would never change?"
💛 "Your body is just a vessel that carries you through this precious life and deserves appreciation for what it does, not constant criticism for how it looks."
READY TO FIND YOUR PERFECT FREEDOM?If you're done trying to control every single thing around food and body, if you're ready to make a commitment to change this part of your life—I'm here.
Stop listening to that nagging voice telling you that you're lazy, not good enough, or that you'll always be this way.
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Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.
Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.
*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.