Her Best Self ~ Eating Disorder Recovery, Anorexia, Bulimia & Food Freedom EP 270: Why You Don't Trust Yourself to Recover (& How to Build That Self-Trust Back)
If you're ready for recovery but freeze when it comes time to actually invest in yourself and commit to the work—this episode is for you.
The real reason you're not taking action isn't because you don't want freedom. It's not because you can't afford it. It's not because you don't believe recovery is possible.
It's because you don't trust yourself to actually do it.
You don't trust yourself to follow through, to succeed, to recover. And after years of the eating disorder systematically destroying your self-trust, plus being burned by therapy or treatment programs that didn't work—of course you don't trust yourself.
But that lack of trust? It's not your fault. And it's not permanent.
In this episode, I break down why high-performing women especially struggle with self-trust in recovery, how past "failed" attempts were actually preparing you for the right approach, and how to rebuild that trust through partnership rather than trying to do it alone.
You'll discover:
- Why the eating disorder has systematically destroyed your self-trust
- How being a high performer makes recovery feel impossible when your usual strategies don't work
- Why therapy/treatment programs may have failed before (and why this time IS different)
- The difference between coaching and transformation through partnership
- How to build self-trust through small, kept promises
- Why you don't need perfect self-trust to start—just willingness
- How to overcome the "I need to talk to my husband" and investment objections
- Why waiting for the "perfect time" keeps you stuck while the ED steals your life
The truth: You ARE trustworthy. You ARE capable. You ARE ready. Even if you don't feel like it yet.
WHY YOU DON'T TRUST YOURSELFThe eating disorder has spent YEARS:
- Convincing you to break promises to yourself
- Making you set goals you couldn't keep
- Forcing you to start recovery attempts you couldn't finish
- Sabotaging commitments your disorder wouldn't let you honor
Plus, you've been burned before:
- Therapy that was lovely but left you feeling stuck
- Treatment programs with skills you couldn't maintain in real life
- "Recovery" approaches that felt like diet culture in disguise
- Systems and people who didn't truly GET where you are
And as a high performer:
- You're used to succeeding at everything you put your mind to
- When recovery feels like the one thing you can't figure out, it shakes your entire identity
- Your usual strategies (perfectionism, control, pushing through) actually keep you stuck in EDs
- Recovery requires surrender, trust, and support—the opposite of what got you success elsewhere
The truth: The problem wasn't YOU. The problem was you hadn't found the RIGHT approach yet.
WHY THIS TIME IS DIFFERENTThis isn't therapy. This isn't treatment. This isn't coaching.
This is transformation through partnership.
When we work together: ✅ I've been exactly where you are—I know what it feels like to not trust yourself
✅ I'm not coaching you from a textbook—I'm partnering with you from experience
✅ I hold hope for you when you can't hold it for yourself
✅ I see your strength when all you can see is struggle
✅ I trust you to recover until you can trust yourself
✅ You don't have to rebuild trust alone—we build it together
The difference: I know the voice of freedom, and I know how to help you hear it again.
REBUILDING SELF-TRUSTWhat self-trust really means: Self-trust isn't about never failing or being perfect. Self-trust is showing up for yourself even when it's hard, imperfect, and uncertain.
How we build it together:
- Start with micro-commitments ("I trust myself to eat breakfast tomorrow")
- Acknowledge every kept promise ("I said I'd eat breakfast and I did—I'm trustworthy")
- Focus on promises that actually matter (the ones that move you toward freedom, not more rules)
- Partner through the process (you're not doing it alone)
The secret: You don't have to trust yourself to recover perfectly. You just have to trust yourself to start.
THE FEAR BEHIND THE FEARYou're not just afraid of failing again—you're afraid of succeeding.
Because the eating disorder has been your:
- Identity
- Coping mechanism
- Source of control
- Way to feel special, disciplined, "together"
- Excuse for not fully living
Recovery means facing: "Who am I without this?"
The truth: Who you are without the eating disorder is who you were ALWAYS meant to be. The ED buried the best parts of you—it didn't create them.
KEY QUOTES💛 "That lack of trust? It's not your fault. And it's not permanent."
💛 "The eating disorder has spent YEARS systematically destroying your self-trust. Of course you don't trust yourself."
💛 "The problem wasn't YOU. The problem was you hadn't found the RIGHT approach yet."
💛 "This isn't coaching. This is transformation through partnership."
💛 "I will trust you to recover until you can trust yourself."
💛 "Self-trust is showing up for yourself even when it's hard, imperfect, and uncertain."
💛 "You don't have to trust yourself to recover perfectly. You just have to trust yourself to start."
💛 "Who you are without the eating disorder is who you were ALWAYS meant to be."
💛 "The women who recover aren't the ones who never stumble. They're the ones who keep showing up."
💛 "Recovery doesn't require perfect self-trust. It requires perfect willingness to try. With support."
💛 "How many more months are you going to spend 'thinking about it' while the eating disorder continues to steal your life?"
💛 "You ARE trustworthy. You ARE capable. You ARE ready. Even if you don't feel like it yet."
THE WAKE-UP CALLWhat's riskier?
- Trusting yourself to try recovery with someone who's been exactly where you are?
- Or staying where you are, letting the ED continue stealing your time, energy, relationships, and LIFE?
The eating disorder has NEVER kept its promises to you. It promised control and gave chaos. It promised perfection and gave obsession. It promised happiness and stole your joy.
You've been trusting the WRONG voice for too long.
READY TO BUILD TRUST THROUGH PARTNERSHIP?If you're tired of trying to figure this out alone...
If you're ready for support that actually understands where you are...
If you want someone who's been exactly where you are and knows the way forward...
👉 Head to www.herbestself.co and fill out a client application
What I promise: I will trust you to recover until you can trust yourself. I'll hold that belief when you can't. I'll see your strength when all you see is struggle.
This is partnership that creates actual transformation—not just another attempt.
Trust yourself enough to take the next step. You don't have to take it alone.
Connect with Lindsey:🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms
Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show:💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week!
Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now.
Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly.
*While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.