Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast

Daniella Karidi, Ph.D., a memory researcher and founder of ADHD Time, studies memory and ADHD across the lifespan. She reframes forgetfulness as a system default. Conversations cover prospective memory and its real-world costs. They explore what happens when life changes remove supports, how aging and hormones affect cognition, and practical ways to leave better cues.

Caroline Maguire, social emotional learning expert, ADHD coach, and author focused on friendship skills. She unpacks the impulsive friendship cycle and why neurodivergent brains rush trust. Short practical strategies get spotlight: the ice cream scoop method, the idea of an emerging friend, masking versus adapting, and ways to troubleshoot lopsided relationships.

Dr. Sharon Saline, clinical psychologist and ADHD author, explains masking as hiding traits to avoid rejection. She contrasts masking with normal presentation. The conversation covers social strategies people use, when masking is protective vs harmful, how masking shows up across relationships, and practical ways to lower the mask and find safer spaces to be more authentic.

Dr. Dodge Rea, a clinical therapist specializing in relational dynamics and shame, explores why small misattunements calcify in ADHD relationships. He explains misattunement, how shame and all‑or‑nothing thinking worsen rifts, and practical reframes like clear requests, ownership, and simple systems to keep connection from hardening.

They unpack why people with ADHD over-apologize and how rejection sensitivity fuels that pattern. They explain why pre-apologizing can shift emotional labor onto others. They contrast one-way apologies with two-party repair and outline practical steps: acknowledge, repair, reset. They discuss boundaries around responsibility, managing shame, and offer ready-to-use repair scripts.

They unpack why people with ADHD build pride around being “low maintenance” and what that identity costs. The hosts define maintenance as the supports that prevent constant internal triage. They describe hidden support behaviors, two archetypes—the disappearing Ghost and the over-functioning Fixer—and the emotional and relational toll of hiding needs. The conversation encourages starting to ask for help and normalizing mutual support.

James Ochoa, a licensed counselor and ADHD clinician who writes about emotional regulation, reframes motivation as emotional and bodily, not just willpower. He talks about resourcing—layered supports like scripts, rituals, and sensory cues. The conversation covers functional pressure, building tiny rituals to ‘make wind,’ and aiming for workable certainty to move through avoidance.

They unpack why the “this year will be different” cycle collapses for ADHD brains and how early dopamine and unrealistic maintenance expectations fuel the crash. They use a sock drawer story to show startup hype versus long-term upkeep. They explore why asking for help feels risky and offer ways to reframe help as advocacy, build margin, and focus on today instead of future promises.

They dig into why emotions feel amplified when your energy is depleted and how ADHD makes reactions louder and longer. The conversation covers RSD, polyvagal ideas like the vagal brake, and why breathing alone often falls short. Practical grounding tools are highlighted, from cold water and wall pushups to co-regulation and simple labeling. A downloadable guide with hands-on techniques is mentioned.

Pete and Nikki kick off the new season by naming the thing nobody wants to put on a vision board: the post-holiday crash. If you’ve come out the other side feeling “behind,” they argue you’re not failing—you’re recovering. And because ADHD loves a transition about as much as it loves a quiet restaurant, that return-to-normal whiplash can hit harder than you expect.The temptation, of course, is to fix the feeling by buying a brand-new feeling: new planner, new system, new you, new personality, new carbon-based lifeform. Nikki gently drags that impulse into the daylight and offers a more realistic move—skip the reinvention and reestablish one anchor routine you already know helps. Something small, repeatable, and boring in the way that’s actually useful, whether it’s hydration, an end-of-day reset, or getting sleep back on purpose instead of by accident.They also lean into compassionate reframing—swapping the “I blew it” narrative for language that’s both true and less cruel—because shame is a famously unreliable productivity tool. There’s a new resource tied to that idea, too, and it’s meant to be the quick handrail you grab when January starts acting like a performance review.Links & Notes📃 Download Compassionate Reframing for the ADHD Brain (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast (02:23) - You're Not Behind... You're Exhausted ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★