Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast The Relational Toll of ADHD Over Time with Dr. Dodge Rea
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Mar 5, 2026 Dr. Dodge Rea, a clinical therapist specializing in relational dynamics and shame, explores why small misattunements calcify in ADHD relationships. He explains misattunement, how shame and all‑or‑nothing thinking worsen rifts, and practical reframes like clear requests, ownership, and simple systems to keep connection from hardening.
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Misattunement Is A Pendulum Between Self And Connection
- Misattunement happens when partners swing between being 'intact' and 'in touch' and repeatedly miss each other's emotional needs.
- Dr. Dodge Rea explains that missing each other often starts with not knowing one's own needs and pendulates into disconnection over time.
Own Your Side And Co Create Systems
- Own your side: accept you're in the relationship on purpose and both brains bring strengths and struggles.
- Dr. Dodge Rea urges partners to name differences, stop blaming, and co-create systems instead of assuming intent.
Friday Deadline Story That Opened Connection
- A business partner kept missing a Friday deadline because he never knew why Friday mattered.
- After explaining the weekend workflow and consequences, connection improved even without a perfect system.