Horror Movie Talk

The deadites are back, and they are as mean as ever. Evil Dead Rise changes it up from the cabin in the woods format, and it pulled it off successfully. Listen/watch our latest episode with special guest Jen Ponton. Synopsis Evil Dead Rise continues the story of deadites just trying their best life, and those meddling humans that try to ruin their fun. In this latest entry in the Evil Dead franchise, two estranged sisters Ellie and Beth (played by Alyssa Sutherland and Lily Sullivan) awkwardly reunite in the midst of personal crises. Before they can work out their issues, an earthquake strikes and Ellie’s children discover a hidden ancient tome and mysterious recordings of a priest reading from it. If you’ve seen any of the previous Evil Dead films, you know where this is going. They inadvertently release flesh-possessing demons and have to fight for survival. It doesn’t go well.  Review of Evil Dead Rise This is a very strong entry into the franchise that expands the world outside of just a cabin in the woods. Like 2013’s evil dead, this film foregoes the majority of the humor that the original trilogy featured. Not to say that this film is completely humorless, it just goes hard into the body horror and torture porn. This film has some of the wildest and darkest scenes I’ve seen in a long time. It makes you all but certain that no one is safe from the deadites even up till the end. What I appreciate is that despite the simple nature of the horror, that being trying to escape or kill scary demons, the film does give stakes for the characters and changes up the setting in a unique way. Instead of disposable slasher teens, we are shown a loving and functional family. When one of them is preyed upon by the demons it hurts, and it adds to the disgust and terror of the moment. Alyssa Sutherland chews up the material and spits it out. It’s unsurprising that most of the trailer featured her. She is a delight to watch, and the vile and manipulative things that the script gives that mother are the most compelling parts of the movie. Overall, this film really brings it. If you are looking for a supernatural gory horror film, this one pulls no punches Score 10/10 Check out Jen Ponton Thanks to Jen Ponton for joining us. Check her out:   https://www.youtube.com/@JenPontonActor http://www.jenponton.com/ https://www.instagram.com/jenponton/ https://twitter.com/jenponton Watch Caretaker on TikTok here: https://www.tiktok.com/@caretakerfilm https://www.tiktok.com/@capemaycaretaker

We watched Green Room and were shocked at how green this room really was. Synopsis Green Room is about a struggling punk rock band who lands a gig at a white supremacist bar. Since no one in the band is a person of color, they decide that this is fine. When they inadvertently stumble into a crime scene, they get trapped in the green room. Mirror universe Captain Picard and his band of skinheads  plot to kill them and stage a crime scene to cover up the crimes. Review of Green Room Green Room is worth seeing, but I think it gets a little overhyped as a “hidden gem”. I think the novelty of seeing Patrick Stewart as the bad guy gave this movie some legs, but it’s essentially a run of the mill thriller. There are some moments of gore in the latter half of the film as the band tries to escape, but a lot of people probably would have issue with classifying this as a horror movie. I don’t care about these people Personally I think this film suffers because the main characters seem like a bunch of insufferable assholes, so I don’t really care what happens to them. Really all the character development we’re given is that they are hardcore punk (whatever that means) and their desert island bands, I guess. The situation is compelling though and it  generally kept me engaged for the duration Score 6/10

Whatsa happening hot stuff? The Happening is happening on this week’s episode. Follow Marky Mark and a whole funky bunch in this M. Night Shyamalan stinker. Synopsis The Happening starts out with a mass psychosis event in Central Park NY, where all of a sudden everyone decides to kill themselves. Mark Wahlberg plays Elliot Moore, a pretty dumb high school teacher that with family and friends trys to escape whatever is causing the psychosis.  What could possibly be causing The Happening? Theories abound. Could it be a terrorist attack? Could it be bees? Could it be trees? Could it be a 60s performance art exhibition? No one knows.  Review for The Happening The Happening has a reputation for being a bad movie. It was really the nail in the coffin for M. Night Shyamalan’s ability to create a quality movie. I’ll say that the consensus is not wrong. This is a pretty bad movie. It’s not painfully bad, but is laughably bad in parts.  This is mostly because of M Night’s clunky writing. It’s very unnatural, and makes every character seem like they came from an alternate universe where infomercials were reality. What makes it more frustrating, is that there are scattered gems of quality dialogue or situations that in a better movie would have been endearing moments. In this film however, it just makes you wonder how someone that is capable of writing convincing human moments would decide to write the rest of the movie like everyone has a head injury. The second problem with the film is the casting of Mark Wahlberg as the lead. He is just not a good actor, and has no possible hope of saving the dialogue through his performance. In fact almost all of the unintentional humor is created by Mark’s line delivery and stupid facial expressions. As with any M. Night Shyamalan movie, regardless of quality, there are some interesting ideas and concepts. Most of the creativity here comes from the various deaths throughout. The premise of a mysterious viral mass suicide event is a genuinely interesting premise, and can be truly disturbing at moments. However, the posited explanation is so dumb, you’re left wondering why you even bothered sitting through this shit show. Score 3/10

This meta comedy horror film might have slipped past you, but if you’ve run through all the others, this one is probably worth a watch. Synopsis In this film, Max, the daughter of a struggling horror film actress, is grieving after her mother’s untimely real death three years prior. Her friend’s tone deaf step brother played by Thomas Middleditch insists that Max attend his double feature screening of Camp Bloodbath, the film that made her mother a star.  While attending with her friends, a disaster happens, and they escape through the movie theater screen. In proper movie logic, they somehow by doing so, step into the reality of Camp Bloodbath (an obvious stand in for Friday the 13th). They soon realize that they are trapped until they can navigate to the end of the film and survive the machete-wielding masked killer. Review of The Final Girls (2015) This is another meta horror comedy that seems to be attempting the success of the previous Cabin in the Woods and Tucker and Dale. In comparison, this one is pretty lackluster. However, it does have it’s charm and is an enjoyable watch. The one difference in style is that The Final Girls uses 80s fantasy logic, and doesn’t bother with realize. This gives them more wiggle room to have fun with the slasher formula. With Adam Divine and Thomas Middleditch in the cast, I did expect it to be funnier than it was. They only go after the easy jokes around the genre, and don’t play as much as they could with the archetypal characters or slasher absurdities. It ends up being surprisingly predictable. Score 6/10

We managed to find a copy of 28 Days Later (which isn’t streaming anywhere, even Amazon) and were treated to the re-awakening of the zombie movie @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website https://youtu.be/7suz9ndPBHg Synopsis Some evil scientists were playing with fire and testing the effects of rage on Chimpanzees, when a group of radical extremists with Green Peace set the Apes free.  One Ape attacked another and then everyone got angry, but not just angry, rageful.  28 days later and our protagonist, Jim (Cillian Murphy) awakes from his medically induced coma to a deserted and dilapidated London. He wanders the streets before finding some angry higher apes and quickly learns not to tango with this “rage” stuff. After Jim meets up with Selena (Naomie Harris), Frank (Brendan Gleeson), and Franks daughter they decide to brave the wilds of Great Britain to find a military outpost that’s sending a hopeful message over the airwaves. Everyone get’s more apes than they bargained for. Review 28 Days Later is an important movie in the zombie genre. It’s not strictly a zombie movie, rather a re-imagining of a somewhat more likely scenario that could lead to something approximating a zombie movie outcome. If rabies was weaponized, the outcome might look something like 28 Days Later.  There was never a shortage of B zombie movies since their inception, and there never will be. But there have been lulls in the popularity of the zombies in general, and moments of revival – 28 Days Later is largely responsible for one of the biggest revivals of zombies in the zeitgeist. Arguably, this movie helped kick off some of the biggest zombie movies and games in the last 20 years. There is no doubt that 28 Days Later is effective. The direction is great, the acting and script are pretty good too.  https://www.horrormovietalk.com/2022/01/19/dawn-of-the-dead-2004-review/ More than anything, the theorycraft is impressive and logical – which is where the concept of zombies really catches the imagination of audiences. The movie is dark, depraved, and hopeless, but manages to throw a little bit of family feeling in the somewhat slow second act that helps to redeem the pacing. Overall, it’s great at what it does, and the soundtrack is phenomenal. Watch 28 Days Later Buy a Physical Copy on Amazon Click here to Buy Score 10/10

Cocaine Bear never forgets his lines. Synopsis Cocaine Bear is loosely based on a true story of a bear that finds and consumes cocaine air dropped by a cocaine smuggler in 1985. In this movie, instead of dying immediately, it does what everyone imagines in their head when they hear the words “Cocaine Bear”. It goes on an unhinged coked up rampage across a state park.  Along the way, Cocaine Bear’s, or as his friends call him, Pablo Escobear, crosses paths with drug dealers, thugs, rangers, children, and a mom. These people fare about as well as you would expect against Cocaine Bear. Review of Cocaine Bear The movie is structured basically as a slasher in that the characters are mostly there as fodder, and they are all trying to escape an unhinged, all powerful killer. However, even for a slasher, these characters have super thin development. None of them have what I would call an “arc”. Not even Cocaine Bear. The cast is serviceable with Kari Russel, MArgo MArtindale, Ray Liotta (RIP), and a bunch of newcomers. They just aren’t given much to work with. Really the most valuable and enjoyable thing that this movie gives you is the title. It’s going to be talked about in knowing tones by the same people that mention Sharknado movies without having actually seen it. To it’s credit, it doesn’t shy away from the gore, and earns it’s R rating, but doesn’t go crazy.  Overall, it’s ok. There are enjoyable moments, and the concept is novel early on, but it loses it’s edge very quickly and it becomes just a waiting game for the obvious ending. It’s a B movie with a 35 million dollar budget. I didn’t expect much, and it perfectly met my expectations Score 4/10

We watched Scream 6 and were impressed with this incredibly fresh new take on the otherwise stale genre of slashers in 2023! @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website https://youtu.be/h74AXqw4Opc Synopsis A year after the events of Scream (2022) where the Woodsboro murders decimated the group of plucky, woke high school students, we find ourselves in college, in New York City. In a super weird turn of fate, our young heroins Sam Carpenter (Melissa Barrera) and her sister Tara (Jenna Ortega) are being stalked by none other than Ghost Face himself. As the friend group pulls together to try to figure out who the new killer might be, they also become suspicious of each other. As it turns out, this killer follows the rules of horror movie tropes, and could easily be one of their closest friends, if these Stab movies are to be believed. Will the friends figure out who the new killer is? Will Ghost Face say some quippy line? Who will be stabbed, and who will come out on top? Review I just asked a bunch of cliff hanger questions at the end of my synopsis. And Scream is known for it’s meta takes and twists. Here’s a meta twist for you – I don’t give a shit who comes out on top AT ALL!!! I stopped caring about Scream the moment the second movie started in 1997. It’s always a slightly diminished crew of last year’s protagonists looking at each other and figuring out what movie trope they are breaking that will get them killed. If only Ghost Face would just hop off of the screen and do me so I don’t have to sit through another one of these cash grab installments. Is Scream 6 bad? No, it’s fine. It’s fan service. But everything is fan service now. Fan service has replaced originality in favor of safety. Do you want safety? IS THAT WHAT YOU REALLY WANT? Yes. As it turns out, you do. Or at least that’s what your wallet says when you pay to go see the new Scream, or Halloween Ends, or The Purge 8: Unlimited Bulimia.  Watch Scream 6 Buy or Rent on Amazon Click here to Watch Sometimes you just need some nostalgia in your life, and this is that. It’s not going to blow you away, or make you wish there were more Scream movies. It’s going to pelt you with ‘member berries.  I will say that this version of Ghost Face might be the strongest in my memory, even if my memory for this is pretty bad. He is wiry, and powerful, and frantically hateful. His acts of violence are gruesome and gross. The reveal at the end of Scream 6 is a prime example of more is better syndrome. Can this be topped? Only if the killer in Scream 7 is the early 90’s version of the monster truck named “Bigfoot”. As long as you don’t expect much, Scream 6 is a Film. Score 5/10

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It’s a magical evening folks. Every year the HMT academy gets together and chooses the best moments and movies of the year. Join us and celebrate another year of horror cinema. Best ad Buffalo Bills Weight Loss Center – The Silence of the Lambs Kurt Russels Mustache Rides – Bone Tomahawk ep Loch Lomond death – dog soldiers ep Normal Activity – Paranormal Activity Episode Discount Dentures – Drag Me To Hell Episode Billy Zane – The Mummy Centipede Twister – Human Centipede 2 ep Estrogen Network – MEN ep Best Guest Fart Simpson (The Wailing/Resolution) Dustin Goebel (The Sadness) Max Allen (The Mummy) Bryan (Cabin Fever) Annie Hardy (Dashcam) James Jude Courtney (Halloween Ends) Keith (Scream 2022) Most Sexual Moment Kinsey Scale – firestarter 2022 episode Should we get naked – Cabin Fever Episode Zombie Jacking – Resolution Review Be careful what you wish for – stranger by the lake episode Poison Tits – hostel ep I’m About to Cum – The Sadness Ep Most Problematic Moment What a Dumb Bitch – The Mummy Gypsies -Drag Me To Hell Episode OOPS – Constantine episode Don’t use the n-word – Get Out DAvid’s a little racist – Dog Soldiers Ep Most Psychologically REvealing Moment David Hates Horses – Nope Episode Bryce’s fear of electronics – the ring Bryce’s brain is too strong – smile ep The Real Bryce – Bone Tomahawk Ep TAke it Back – texas chainsaw massacre 2022 episode” Listening like God – The Possession of Hannah Grace Episode I can Talk About TikTok – Orphan First Kill ep Worst Movie We Watched this year Puppet Master (1978) 13 Ghosts Buffy The Vampire Slayer Halloween Ends Studio 666 Orphan: First Kill Best Movie We Watched this year Silence of the Lambs Paranormal Activity The Fly (1986) Barbarian Carrie (1976) Dawn of the Dead (2004) Get Out Hatching (Pahanhautoja) Prey The Menu Worst New Movie of 2022 Halloween Ends Studio 666 Orphan: First Kill Terrifier 2 Scream (2022) Firestarter (2022) Crimes of the Future Best New Movie of 2022 X Nope Hatching (Pahanhautoja) Prey The Menu Barbarian ———————————————— Perfect 10s The Silence of the Lambs Paranormal Activity The Fly (1986) Barbarian Carrie (1976) Lowest Scored Halloween Ends (3.5) Buffy The Vampire Slayer (3.5) 13 Ghosts (2.5) Puppet Master (1989) (2) Biggest Discrepancies in Scores The Babadook (D=3, B=10) Crimes of the Future (D=9, B=4) Smile (D=6, B=10) The Mummy (1999) (D=10, B=6) Best Co-Host David Day Bryce Hanson

We dig the 80’s and here’s proof. What are your favorite 80’s horror movies? @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website