Horror Movie Talk

We watched What We do in the Shadows and were treated to the best horror comedy since Shaun of the Dead. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website. https://youtu.be/3uBc1Dk0hwI Synopsis You might not know it, but the life (or death) of a vampire is a lot less romantic and sometimes much more petty and small than you might think. Viago, Deacon, and Vladislav are old vampires trying to make it in a new world. Making it the same way you or I are trying to make it, really. Just trying to make ends meet while accomplishing something akin to a nightlife. While they manage the chore wheel and keeping their familiars in check, they manage to get caught up in the wacky hijinks of other somewhat mundane horrors that roam the night. Everyone gets more laughs than they bargained for. Review What We do in the Shadows is a mockumentary by notable New Zealanders Jemaine Clement (Flight of the Conchords)and Taika Waititi (Hunt for the Wilderpeople).  It’s fun, tight, and hilarious. It’s shot the way a normal documentary might be, but because the setting for much of the movie is in a vampire’s lair it has a spooky ambiance.  Apart from some funny jumpscares, there is nothing scary about this horror adjacent romp. What We do in the Shadows is just for fun and it’s great at it. So much of this had me rolling around the room, shaking my wife about how this is the best thing I’ve seen since Shaun of the Dead.  Watch What We do in the Shadows Buy or Rent on Amazon Click Here to Watch Comedy isn’t easy, and comedy horror can feel pretty clunky sometimes, but this is sleek and fun. It smacks deeply of the comedy from a show that I miss deeply, Flight of the Conchords. What We do in the Shadows pays close attention to making all the characters “real people” which takes away a lot of the sexy emphasis of normal vampires and replaces it with questions like, “How shitty of a roommate would a vampire be?” Overall, this is an easy watch that is best experienced with friends and family. The R rating is only earned with comically gratuitous blood and occasional curse words. Definitely rent this one if you haven’t already. Score 8/10

The Blackening is the ideal movie to go see on Juneteenth. This comedy horror movie is worth going to the theater for. Synopsis Seven black college friends go away for the weekend to have a kind of reunion and celebrate Juneteenth together. They get trapped in a game room with a game in the center featuring a blackface head that instructs them to answer black culture trivia questions or die. They soon find out that the entire cabin they are staying at is being controlled by a killer with a vendetta. Will their street smarts and knowledge of horror movies help them stay alive? Probably not. Review of The Blackening With a tagline like “They can’t all die first”, you know that this is going to be a tongue in cheek horror comedy. The meta humor and fourth wall breaks are frequent throughout the film. In terms of tone, it lands somewhere between Scream, Tucker and Dale, and with touches of Scary Movie. It follows the slasher trope of assembling a motley crew of characters that are possible fodder for the killer. In this movie those characters include a gay black man, an african immigrant, a reformed gangster, a mixed race woman, and the most broad character being the black nerd that “acts white”. Most of the first act features utilitarian expositional dialogue to set up all the characters and their relationships. While the characters and plot are simple, they do go slightly beyond most Friday the 13th movies in terms of depth, not that that is very hard. What is most important in this film, and what stands out is the humor. I laughed multiple times, and had a good time. A lot of the jokes are around stereotypes and black culture, but the best ones are grounded in the specific situation or character. Score 7/10

We watched The Old Way on Hulu and were given a movie with a shaky start that made me wonder what I was getting into. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website https://youtu.be/eWakq9qQ6Ik Synopsis An old gunslinger, Colton Briggs (Nic Cage), is forced back into the fray when a series of unfortunate events leave him with very little to live for. His daughter, Brook (Ryan Kiera Armstrong) joins him on his quest and learns how to navigate life as Colton’s kin. Everyone gets more lead than they bargained for. Review Nic Cage is enough to get me to watch most movies. He is strange, interesting, and massively talented. I enjoy most movies where he stars. The Old Way is no exception. This movie fumbles tremendously in the first 20 minutes, which shook my belief that it could be good or worthwhile to a large degree.  The dialog, acting, and concept in the opening seems to miss the mark by a country mile. It felt ham-handed, simple, and very cringe. Once the second act starts, things come back around and the concepts and characters show that they are much more than what previously met the eye. Watch The Old Way Buy or Rent on Amazon Click here to Rent or Buy The Old Way wrestles with the concepts of humanity, loss, the monster’s within, our birthright, and revenge. These are themes that I’ve seen Cage embraces in a lot of his movies.  The characters are interesting and have fun dialog and it’s set in an authentic feeling western backdrop. Colton Brigg’s story of wrestling with his apparent lack of humanity and his life of crime catching back up to him is one that I feel a lot of people can resonate with.  The hope or lack-thereof for the next generation and having to deal with the sins of their forefathers is an age-old one and that’s why it resonates so deeply.  The Old Way is a solid entry into a somewhat lackluster genre of modern westerns. And it’s one that feels more deeply connected to the classic western’s of the 40’s and 50’s than other modern westerns.  It brings back memories of other Nic Cage revenge movies, the most recent being Mandy. Score 7/10

Can this Stephen King short story adaptation beat Shawshank Redemption? No probably not, but it was ok. It’s definitely a good pg-13 horror movie that parents can share with their kids. Synopsis While Psychiatrist Will Harper (Chris Messina) and his two daughters Sadie (Sophie Thatcher) and Sawyer (Vivien Lyra Blair) are getting over the death of their wife/mother, he is visited by Lester Billings (David Dastmalchian), a disturbed patient that insists on talking about the death of his three children to an unseen presence. Before Will can help him, Lester commits suicide in one of Will’s closets. Sawyer then begins to be tormented by a presence lurking in the shadows in the closets and crevices of their home. At first Sadie doesn’t believe Sawyer, but eventually experiences things herself. As Sadie investigates the background of Lester Billings, she finds out that the monster is none other than The Boogeyman. Wacky hijinx ensue. Review of The Boogeyman (2023) This is an adaptation of a Stephen King short story of the same name, which amounts to a little more than a campfire story set in a psychiatrist’s office. There really isn’t much to work with, and the movie ends up being kind of a one trick pony. The director Rob Savage made a name in horror with the found footage films Host and Dashcam, both of which I very much liked. Savage forgoes the gimmickry of found footage and shoots this movie like any other big-budget Conjuring-esque horror movie. It’s a bit like if Carrot Top performed standup without props. He’d do just OK. Originally this was supposed to be straight to streaming on Hulu, but because of audience reactions, was given a theatrical release. It’s just alright. You get exactly what you would expect about a movie about the Boogeyman. It’s just a vehicle for jumpscares and dread.  I might be jaded, but this is a cookie cutter family based horror film that has been done hundreds of times before, and done a lot better. Score 5/10

We watched Jurassic Park and were treated to one of the best movies ever made! @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website https://youtu.be/lc0UehYemQA Synopsis As a theme park nears it’s public go-live date, a team or scientists comprised of Grant (Sam Neill), Ellie (Laura Dern), and Malcom (Jeff Goldblum) are assembled to assess concerns that the park might fly in the face of nature and God. Hammond (Richard Attenborough), the park owner and dream catcher believes in his creation with such veracity that he sends his own grandchildren on the guided tour along with the crew of scientists to tour the park. Despite knowing full well that a tropical storm is approaching the island Hammond gives the go-ahead to start the tour and sends his first test subjects into the fold of Jurassic Park. Surprisingly, things do not go well even though they’ve thought of and prepared for all possible contingencies, because, “Life uhhh, finds a way.” Everyone gets more dino DNA than they bargained for. Review Jurassic Park is one of the most important movies ever made. Every part of it is unique and interesting.  The movie is based on a book by Michael Crichton, who I believe stole the idea from another book series called Dinosaur World. We will talk about that in the spoilers section of the podcast. Directed by Steven Spielberg, and with 6 minutes of computer animated special effects by Industrial Lights and Magic, Jurassic Park rocked the world upon its release. People had never seen such convincing special effects. The fact that the computer effects were married with nine minutes of animatronic effects of dinosaurs had everyone on their heels. It was hard to tell what was real and what was computer generated. Watch Jurassic Park Buy or Rent on Amazon Click here to Rent or Buy Apart from the spectacle of the VFX, Jurassic Park presents a smorgasbord of amazing set pieces and tense scenarios that takes you out of your chair and transports you to Isla Nublar, off the coast of Costa Rica.  It doesn’t have one bad guy, it has tons! Some with huge teeth, other can spit toxic goop in your face, and one has an obsession with the “Magic word”. More than anything it plays on man’s return to the forest primeval, a place where we are no longer in control at the top of the food chain. Jurassic Park asks the question, “Is science inherently good?” and answers it with, “Science is only a tool, it’s up to those who wield it to use good judgment and many times they don’t..” The John Williams score is as iconic as, well, other Steve Spielberg movies with world class scores like Jaws. This is a perfect movie. Score 11/10

The entire cast is firing on all cylinders in this underappreciated James Cameron film. In my opinion, this is where Schwarzenegger reached his prime. Synopsis True Lies tries the answer the question: what would happen if James Bond had to go home and explain himself to his wife? Arnold Schwarzenegger plays Harry Tasker, an elite American spy that travels the world preventing the apocalypse by fighting terrorists. He does all this unbeknownst to his wife Helen (Jamie Lee Curtis) and Daughter Dana (Eliza Dushku), who think he is a boring computer salesman. While on the trail of a terrorist with his partner Gib (Tom Arnold), Harry discovers that his wife may be cheating on him. To prevent a nuclear holocaust and the dissolution of his marriage, Harry starts to mix his worlds. Hilariousness ensues. Review or True Lies True Lies is in a genre of it’s own: Action Romantic Comedy. The most impressive part of this movie, which there are many, is the balancing act of those genres and tones throughout.  Tying it all together is a cast of actors that are all operating at peak performance. This to me is Arnold Schwarzenegger’s best performance in his career. He’s at peak charisma, and really steps up his acting chops to meet the shifts in tone and subtlety required by the script. Jamie Lee Curtis similarly walks the line between genres, dancing between drama and comedy as her character tries to shake up her humdrum life. And her seductive scene will forever be seared into the memory of every teenage boy in the 90s. Tom Arnold and Bill Paxton do a lot of heavy lifting as the comedic relief. Tom Arnold especially surprises everyone by being likable and hilarious throughout. His relationship with Schwarzenegger is believable and natural as long time partners. Bill Paxton chews the scenery as a smarmy car salesman con-man. All along, the film has some of the best action sequences of the 90s, which is saying a lot. Score 10/10

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We watched Air and were delighted by the total lack of sports in the historical sports drama. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website https://youtu.be/Euy4Yu6B3nU Synopsis There was a time in the 80’s when Nike wasn’t top of the pack. During that time a Nike talent scout named Sonny Vaccaro (Matt Damon) was looking for a way to help Nike break into the Basketball vertical. As he is passionate about the game, he finds a young man who shows incredible promise that very few others see. He fights tooth and nail to make Nike appealing to young Michael Jordan, and with the help of the incredible talent at Nike in 1984, he just may have a chance. Review There is nothing inside me that enjoys sports. But there is a small place inside me that really enjoys historical dramas. Movies like The Big Short, and The Social Network are a lot of fun, and Air presents a similar, if lighter experience.  It’s hard to believe that there was a time when Nike wasn’t top dog in the shoe world. But Air details the moments leading up to probably the most important decision of the largest shoe and sports gear manufacturer on the planet. Watch Air Buy or Rent on Amazon Click here to Rent Directed by Ben Affleck, who also plays Phil Knight, this is an interesting insight into marketing and how one man can have a hunch so strong that it changes the world. The star studded cast is enough to get anyone to watch (including Jason Bateman, Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Viola Davis, Chris Tucker, Marlon Wayans, and Jay Mohr) and the score will keep you very happy with every 80’s hit to grace the charts. The best part for me is it’s only tangentially related to sports, barely even showing Michael Jordan. To be honest it makes you wish it showed Jordan. But that movie is mostly concerned with Nike’s breakthrough on Jordan’s coattails. With this being free on Prime, it’s an easy one to recommend. I was interested and laughing throughout, and I wouldn’t mind paying to see it in theaters either. Score 7/10

I don’t know what is scarier, the unchecked power of the wealthy, the surprise reach-arounds, or the conspicuous lack of eyebrows. Synopsis An american couple James and Em Foster (Alexander Skarsgård and Cleopatra Coleman) take a resort vacation to the tropical island of La Tolqa to rekindle their relationship and to break James out of writers block. While there, they Gabi (Mia Goth) who is a big fan of James’ previous novel, and is excited to show them the island outside of the confines of the luxurious resort. Despite warning that it’s dangerous off-grounds, they spend a day with Gabi and her husband Alban picnicking and drinking on the beach. Tragedy strikes and James finds himself at the mercy of the brutal and surreal Justice system of La Tolqa. Narrowly escaping punishment James discovers that the true horrors of the island lie with the decadent and hedonistic tourists that take advantage of the bizarre world of the island. Review of Infinity Pool This is the second Brandon Cronenberg film that we have reviewed on the show. And this film shares a lot of the brutality and dreamlike aspects of his previous film Possessor. Infinity Pool examines the horrors of the uber wealthy escaping justice while flaunting it for their entertainment. It goes from a relatively normal to progressively more surreal and hedonistic, and end with full on existential horror. It’s a weird mix of the show White Lotus, Eyes Wide Shut, and Total Recall.  That being said, this film is very unique. There are enough twists and turns that it stays engaging throughout the runtime.  The combination of excellent acting and directing really sells the movie. Even though there is a prevalence of dream logic and nightmarish qualities, it stays grounded in the perspective of James. Skarsgard does a great job of emoting the inner world of James and we get to experience his pride, shame, hubris, and debauchery in a way that feels real. With a hard R rating, we are treated to plenty of the ol sex and ultra violence. It pulls no punches with either, yet they don’t feel exploitative or arbitrary since they both work to serve the story.  Score 8/10 Follow Jay! Crypt Keeper Horror Show https://www.instagram.com/cryptcreeperhorrorshow/ https://www.instagram.com/angelicdesolation/

We took a look at this comedy masterpiece from the mid 90’s and were reminded of a time when you could kill endangered species and get away with it. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website https://youtu.be/l13yPhimE3o Synopsis When a gorgeous redhead, Mary (Lauren Holly) leaves her suitcase in the airport, Lloyd (Jim Carrey) makes it his mission to return it to her at her destination – Aspen, California. Lloyd manages to talk his roommate and best friend Harry (Jeff Daniels) into joining him on the trip because, let’s face it, “our pet’s heads are falling off!” Unbeknownst to our duo of dumb dumbs, the briefcase left by Mary Sampsonite was actually a ransom payoff for her husband’s safe return from the ominous arms of Nicholas Andre. As Harry and Lloyd are tailed across the country, an interesting The Man Who Knew Too Much scenario takes place. Everyone gets more stupid than they bargained for. Review Dumb and Dumber is one of the funniest modern day movies ever made, and in my opinion, one of the best comedies of all time. Peter Farrelly & Bobby Farrelly wrote and directed this and while they are accomplished and obviously talented, their real lightning in a bottle was the casting of Jeff and Jim.  The magic within Dumb and Dumber lies in Jeff and Jim, two grown-ass-adult-males acting like actual 6th grade children. Keeping straight faces and horsing around in ways that would make every mother in America roll their eyes so hard that their retinas detach.  Obviously, Jim Carrey is at his absolute peak in this movie, but Jeff Daniels comedy chops are absolutely crushing. And the pair of them together, fully understanding the magic of this concept of two adults so stupid that it hurts is what takes the whole thing into the top echelon of comedy gold. Watch Dumb and Dumber Buy or Rent on Amazon Click here to Rent The pacing and clear storyline of this movie help to bolster it amongst it’s competition, because it’s hard to get the pacing of a comedy movie right.  While the last half hour of this is pretty weak by comparison to the rest of the movie, it’s pretty slim pickings on comedy movies that end strong. This has a better ending than most. It blows my mind that this is the same Jim Carrey that did one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen in my entire life – The Number 23. Score 10/10