Horror Movie Talk

In A24’s newest horror movie, we get the expected mix of horror, dread, and emotion that you expect with the brand. Synopsis Talk to Me is about a young group of friends who get wrapped into the latest social media trend: demonic possession! An acquaintance came into possession of a creepy ceramic hand, and if they shake hands with it and say the magic words, they can see the dead, and even experience being possessed for a minute and a half. As you would expect, it’s a great time. That is until the Mia, played by Sophia Wilde, gets in contact with her dead mom, and can’t seem to shake of the visions of the dead, even when not using the hand. In the end we learn two things: Demons lie Australians need more parental supervision Review of Talk To Me This is a really great movie. It is a rehashing of familiar demon possession tropes, but it has it’s own unique vibe.  What hits hardest is the intense scenes of violence. I was squirming in my seat in a lot of scenes, and the movie holds on to those moments for a little longer than most. It’s like a more sadistic Evil Dead movie. There is a juxtaposition of empathy and apathy throughout the movie that is really interesting. We have fleshed out characters that love and care for each other, however the teen group dynamic around these Seances are full of apathy in search of novelty. It’s the dynamic you see in internet videos that show people popping out cameras instead of helping someone in distress. I would have liked a little more fleshing out of the father daughter relationship between Mia and her dad. This would have made their scenes more impactful and tragic. There was a lot unsaid, which isn’t a bad thing, but I think there should have been at least another scene or two showing their dynamic to explain why Mia wants to avoid him. There are strong undertones of drug culture. The destructive yet addicting effects of the hand have parallels to casual hard drug use. The ending is the perfect conclusion for the tone of the movie. It sticks with you as being dreadful, but still gives a strong resolution. Score 9/10

Willy’s Wonderland can be found on Hulu right now, but who knows once this comes out. Synopsis Willy’s Wonderland follows a nameless cool guy in sunglasses played by Nic Cage as he stumbles into an intricate and deadly trap involving a defunct family restaurant. When he needs to pay for repairs to his bitchin Camero, he is offered an overnight janitor job at Willy’s Wonderland, an off-brand Chuck-e-cheese inhabited only by creepy animatronic puppets. In no time, these creepy animatronics attack Nic Cage, and he has to fight them off between soda breaks. Review Going into this movie, the consensus that I heard is that it is pretty much exactly what you expect. Dumb, with Nic Cage fighting animatronics. That is what it is. The one thing that might be surprising is that Cage has zero dialogue. All of his acting is done through stoic hardened gazes and impromptu pinball celebration dances. Even without dialogue, Cage is really the only enjoyable part of this movie. Everything else feels like low effort filler. The 1 hour 20 minute runtime feels like 4 hours at times.  Watch Willy’s Wonderland Buy or Rent on Amazon Click here to Watch It is very very very very repetitive. Once Cage is in the restaurant, it alternates between one one one attacks and soda breaks. The only change up comes when some teens appear to be fodder for the animatronics, and the backstory of the place is explained through the occasional expositional dialogue. The most disappointing aspect of the movie is that the fight scenes seem so low effort, and they all seem to be nearly identical. It’s not a great movie, but it is an interesting oddity. I just wish that the filmmakers went further than just the novelty of the premise. Score 3/10

Does this Shutter make you shudder? I’ll see myself out… Synopsis After a night out with friends, a photographer named Tun and his girlfriend Jane are driving home when they accidentally hit a woman in the street. Instead of helping her, Tun convinces Jane to run to avoid responsibility. In the days after Tun starts to notice strange artifacts in his photos. They soon realize that this isn’t regular photography, its…G-G-G-Ghost photograph. As the photo ghost continues to haunt them, they try to unravel the mystery behind why she is haunting them.  Review of Shutter (2004) This is a pretty ok movie. It’s pretty run of the mill formula of “here’s a paranormal phenomena thats talked about on Discovery channel, lets wrap a movie around it.” It loses points for relying way too much on ghost pikaboo and disorientating fakeouts. I think they would have done better trying to scare the audience with jumpscares, and focused on the drama/mystery more. The repetition of jump scares and creepy photos throughout the second act are only interrupted by confusing non-sequiter appearances of one of Tun’s friends, Tonn, asking desperately for photographs before his untimely death. It all makes sense in the end, but the pacing and editing were off so it feels like the first half of the movie crashed into a second movie halfway through. The story behind the ghost is the most compelling part of the movie, and unfortunately they leave most of that until the third act.  Overall it was an interesting story with pacing issues, but at an hour and thirty minute runtime, it never really outstayed its welcome. Score 5/10

Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves is a fun, action/comedy that makes you wonder why it took so long to get a decent D&D movie made. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website. https://youtu.be/IiMinixSXII Synopsis A charming thief with nothing to lose and everything to gain embarks on an epic quest to find a party of like-minded ne’er-do-wells who will help him obtain a long lost relic.  This plucky adventure takes a turn for the worst when evil red wizards start taking over the Neverwinter. Will our band of fun and quirky characters pull off the heist of a lifetime, or will they end up part of the army of the dead? Review Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves takes a game that historically has been considered one of the dorkiest, nerdiest, most basement dwelling neckbeardian IP’s in the free world and attempts to make it appeal to general audiences. Somehow, they did it! They made Dungeons and Dragons digestible for your jock boyfriends, your football dads, and your Christian mothers Boggle groups.  Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves is a fun and easygoing romp through an incredible fantasy world that isn’t bogged down with over-ripe lore or too-serious stakes.  It’s comedy chops are great, which really keeps the audience grounded almost as well as the fabulous casting.  Chris Pine, Michelle Rodriguez, and Hugh Grant anchor the cast and keep everyone in lockstep for the duration.  The pacing is appropriate and holds everyone’s attention by constantly showcasing some of the coolest fantasy world elements I’ve ever seen.  Watch Dungeons and Dragons Honor Among Thieves Buy or Rent on Amazon Click Here to Watch If Star Trek can have a resurgence there is absolutely no reason Dungeons and Dragons shouldn’t too. This IP has some of the most detailed and thorough content in the entire world, spanning the tabletop games, multiple book series, and dozens of video and card games.  What we get in this movie is lots of fun, tons of great laughs, some astonishing eye candy, and the most generic of plots and stakes.  Sometimes generic is alright, and this is the exact case that proves that point. No one wants a deadly serious Dungeons and Dragons movie. No one plays a deadly serious game of Dungeons and Dragons.  It’s fine that the story and plot are generic and somewhat foggy. Will it win awards and be lauded throughout time? No, but it won’t go down as a failure and an embarrassment to nerds everywhere. Score 7/10

Come on Barbie let’s go cry, oh oh no. Synopsis Barbie is about a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world Life in plastic, it’s fantastic That’s until she starts having intrusive thoughts of death, and her body undergoes changes that are new and disturbing to her. Barbie soon finds herself on a journey leaving Barbieland behind and going into the real world where she tries to solve the mystery of her psychological and physical changes. There is also Ken. Review of Barbie I partook in the cultural phenomena that was Barbenheimer on opening night, first watching the 3 hour long Oppenheimer biopic alone and then watching Barbie with my wife afterwards. Oppenheimer was good and told an interesting story that conveyed an impressive amount of information even for a 3 hour long movie. Barbie entered my head and has not left since I watched it the first time. I couldn’t stop thinking about it throughout the week. I yearned to watch certain scenes again, and consumed interviews with the cast and the director to process the overwhelming spectacle that was Barbie I’ll stand here, without any irony or shame, and say that I think Barbie might be the best movie of the decade so far, and the best movie of the year, without a question. Everyone involved was firing on all cylinders. Casting, acting, writing, directing, production design, music, choreography. All were perfect. I was smiling ear to ear the whole time, except when I was crying. My wife and I were rolling from laughing throughout. It also goes surprisingly deep with existentialism and feminism. I watched it again last night, and even after hearing criticisms about it being unfunny or that it was propaganda, the second viewing only cemented my opinion.  Score 10/10

Is it a horror movie or an action movie? It doesn’t matter, Nic Cage turns in one of the best performances of his career. Synopsis Renfield tells the story of Count Dracula’s titular servant struggling to become self actualized in modern times after discovering his codependency in a 12-step self help group. Dracula, who has been convalescing for an indeterminate amount of time is finally gaining enough power to continue his plans for world domination, and Renfield’s self empowerment is really throwing a wrench into his plans.  To make matters worse, a local wolf themed gang is trying to kill Renfield, and he must combat them using his bug diet fueled superpowers. Review of Renfield The headline on this one, is that Dracula is the role that Nic Cage was born to play, and he appropriately chews up the scenery whenever he is on screen. This movie is a lot of fun thematically and visually. Renfield and Dracula’s relationship interpreted through modern codependency and narcissism pop-psychology is just a great funny premise. Nicholas Hoult plays Renfield by channeling by channeling his former About a Boy costar Hugh Grant and is a great straight man to Dracula’s antics. The filmmakers don’t go with a straight ahead comedy, but surprisingly fold in the superhero action genre as well. It ends up being a hard-R action comedy ala Deadpool. I can’t say it completely works for me, since the action and superpowered violence feels like an arbitrary add-on, but that’s not to say it’s not good. Some of the funnest parts are the absurdly violent fight sequences that produce more gore than most horror movies.  Looking at the writers and directors, the motley film starts to make more sense. The story is by Robert Kirkman, who’s famous for his comic and TV successes with The Walking Dead and Invincible. It’s written by Ryan Ridley, a writer for Rick and Morty, and directed by Chris McKay, who directed the Lego Batman Movie. All of whom are great at mixing genres to great effect. Score 9/10

The Village was voted on by our patrons who have very good taste, because this M. Night movie still works. @dgoebel00 on Instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website. https://youtu.be/sTGyhwvdY6k Synopsis The Village is the story of a community that sequestered themselves in the woods to avoid the evils and pain caused by the world at large. Set in the late 1800’s the community is full of interesting and varied people. But not all is well in the village – there is an evil that lurks in the forest, kept at bay by certain colors and a tenuous truce that has been struck with the creatures. Ivy Walker (Bryce Dallas Howard) and Lucius Hunt (Joaquin Phoenix) fall in love and are set to be married when a violence occurs, leaving Lucius close to death.The blind Ivy must face the terrors in the woods and the evils of society in order to save her new love.  Everyone gets more irony than they bargained for. Review The Village is a fun thriller with a stellar cast and some interesting concepts. The acting is interesting and well performed, the script is slow and intentional, and it provides lots of fall atmosphere. A lot of people bag on movies by M. Night Shyamalan that aren’t The Sixth Sense, but honestly they aren’t giving him his due. The Village explores interesting emotional territory in allegory. It poses the questions of building emotional walls by putting up real walls.  Watch The Village (2004) Buy or Rent on Amazon Click Here to Watch It’s also a really fun period piece to boot. Where else can you find Sigourney Weaver, Joaquin Phoenix, Bryce Dallas Howard, Adrien Brody, Brendan Gleeson, Judy Greer, and Jesse Eisenberg all in one place? The thing that I cherish most about this movie is the devotion to atmosphere. It’s spooky and stark, set in the woods of New England and it just feels like Halloween. The creature design is effective and the scares are appropriate for young and old alike. Score 9/10

Audition is just one of those movies, you know. Synopsis The film follows Shigeharu Aoyama (Ryo Ishibashi) a widower that upon encouragement from his college age (?) son decides to find a new wife. After sharing his intentions to find a suitable mate with a coworker in the movie business, they hatch a scheme to screen a bevy of eligible young women in the guise of a film audition. Pouring over thousands of resume’s, Shigeharu is smitten with one woman in particular. After seeing her audition, he reaches out and they start dating. His coworker has doubts about her, but Shigeharu is undaunted and falls madly in love. Turns out, you should listen to your friends. Review of Audition Much is made about Audition as a truly disturbing movie, and I have to say, I was kind of disappointed. Is my heart so cold that it’s no longer stirred by amputations? What has become of me.  This is the case of being on the vanguard and being eclipsed by the films that were inspired by it. In 1999 torture porn horror had not been a term that anyone had heard of, and at the time this must have been shocking and groundbreaking for genre fans. However after Saw, Hostel, and the Human Centipede, Audition seems quaint almost. The strong suit of the film is the midstream switcheroo of genres. Well into act 2, this is a pretty charming, run-of-the-mill Romcom, but the third act is straight Lynchian horror. It portends to be a deep and psychological film, but there really isn’t much depth in the end in my opinion. No real strong statements are made other than abuse is bad, and can have lasting effects. I wish they would have delved deeper into Asami’s backstory and her unmasked psyche, but they really wanted to slow roll the plot and then take their time with the gore in the third act.  Don’t get me wrong, the third act is very strong, and works, it just takes so long to get there without fully using the runtime to make the characters compelling. Overall this is a unique and weird movie, but isn’t going on the top of any of my lists. It deserves attention, but seems a little overhyped for what it is.  Score Score 6/10

We watched the Hobbit and were transported to Middle Earth to find gold, truth, and destiny. https://youtu.be/WqGzCOL3XU4 Synopsis A Little person named Bilbo is whisked away from his home by other little people and their enablist wizard friend named Gandalf the dick.  Bilbo is forced to do the bidding of the Dwarves for the entire trip and every single time he asks, “are we there yet?” they threaten to turn the car around, but they never do. Eventually Bilbo is forced to steal some stuff from drug addicts and then stuff gets real weird.  Everyone gets more gold than they bargained for. Review If you want to see one of the quintessential movies from my childhood, this is it. The art direction is strange and alluring, the story is neatly trimmed down to fit the 90 minute format, and it’s one of the best stories ever told. The songs are fun, and have that folky 70’s feel. The voice actors fit their roles perfectly, and the adventure feels great. Much of the creature design is very intense and scary for a cartoon that was probably aimed at kids, but I feel like this is one of the bonuses of growing up in the 70’s and 80’s. Producers didn’t pander, they made cool stuff that adults and kids would want to see because they couldn’t look away. Watch The Hobbit (1977) Buy or Rent on Amazon Click Here to Watch This was a made to be a television special and was animated by Topcraft, who was the precursor to  Studio Ghibli. Much of the original critical reception of the movie had to do with the strange, Japanese style animation that audiences were not familiar with at the time. More of the reception for the film was glowing, and it even won a Peabody Award. It was nominated for a Hugo but lost to Star Wars. I love this movie with all my heart, it got me started in fantasy and horror and I wouldn’t be the person I am today had it not been for renting ten thousand times on VHS. Score 10/10

The demon child cursed our recording session. Listen to take three of this episode where I was sucked of all life. Synopsis Gregory Peck plays Robert Thorn, a wealthy and politically influential man who unbeknownst to his wife, adopts a baby boy to replace his son that was born, but died on the same day. The child, named Damien, when he becomes a toddler begins to be surrounded by strange an untimely deaths. When his father starts investigating the circumstances of Damien’s birth, he finds out his mother is a real bitch, and his father, wel his father is a real jerk. Review of The Omen (1976) The Omen is a tentpole horror movie, which makes up the unofficial trilogy of parenting horror with Rosemary’s Baby, and The Exorcist. It preys upon every parent’s fear of “is my toddler…evil incarnate?” This movie answers… maybe! The real horror in the film isn’t anything that Damien does, it’s what he represents for the future, and the powers that seek to protect him. The focus isn’t so much on gaslighting like in Rosemary’s Baby, The Omen focuses on “outside forces” that set themselves against and for the Thorn family.  “The Omen” in the title refers to the prophecy of the antichrist, and in particular a poem that an ominous priest recites to Mr Thorn. While there aren’t a lot of “scares”, this is a taut and well paced thriller with plenty of dread and Ominousness. It’s a well constructed and acted movie, with a couple set pieces that really stick in your mind. I did wish that they did a little more with little Damien to do. He really is a blank slate in the film. He barely had any lines and as far as characterization, he seems indifferent to death, and has shifty eyes. It would have been nice to create more of a dilemma for the ending by showing him as a more normal boy who loved his parents. I really like this movie, but it doesn’t quite achieve the emotional heights of Rosemary’s Baby or The Exorcist, so I deduct one point. Score 9/10