TOP SELF | Tips on Jealousy and Insecurity in Relationships

In this quick dump episode, I'm sharing O.N.E. thing I did to break my negative mindset and take off the green lense I saw life through.Our adult brain can be lazy and it wants to refer back to old patterns of information we learned in the past.  If those patterns are negative, they stand out even more and shapes the way we view life and approach situations we interpret as similar.To shift these pattens, its all about being open because often its our mindset that keeps us stuck with repeating habits and thoughts.O.N.E - Open to New.... Explanations, Examples, Experiments, Evidence etc.  Fill in the blank with the "E word" that fits the situation.  Join 30 Days to Different - Starting soon!Check us out on YouTube and make sure to subscribe!Schedule your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only.  No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment,  Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Aviation is one of those professions that has always been associated with infidelity and cheating, but Jackie Ulmer believes that every situation is as unique as the people involved.Jackie is a peak performance coach who has been married to a pilot for more than 30 years. She worked in aviation for eight years before becoming a pilot’s wife, meeting lots of regional airline crews and spending time as a crew scheduler and flight attendant along the way. So as you might imagine, Jackie doesn't buy into the stigma about pilots!Instead, she highlights the value of mutual trust in your relationships, regardless of the profession your significant other has chosen. Just because you see something happening in the media, in movies, and in TV shows, it doesn’t mean it will happen in your relationship.In fact, Jackie encourages us to let go of all of the false narratives we tell ourselves and she shares some valuable ‘habit hacks’ to help you reframe negative thinking. Tuning in, you’ll hear some actionable advice for redefining your limiting beliefs about yourself, setting boundaries rather than ultimatums, and invigorating your self-image, plus so much more.If you're listening to this podcast, you’re probably struggling with self-confidence, feelings of unworthiness, or low self-esteem, but Jackie is here to tackle all of that noise and help you create a first-class life!Topics discussed in this episode:●      The influence your self-image has on your anxiety●      Reframing limiting beliefs by creating new habits●      Using journaling as a tool to redefine ‘I am’ statements●      Who you become in the process of attaining your goals●      What the consistency chain teaches us about progress●      How social media contributes to paranoia about infidelity●      Why you should let go of the false narratives you’ve created●      Why communication and vulnerability are key●      The difference between boundaries and ultimatums●      Understanding why men are often called ‘simple creatures’!Join the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group. Connect with your host, Shanenn Bryant, on Instagram Visit Jackie’s website, Peak Performance Habits, listen to The Pilot Wife Podcast, or follow her on Instagram and Twitter!  Join 30 Days to Different - Starting soon!Check us out on YouTube and make sure to subscribe!Schedule your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only.  No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment,  Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

James Preece is UK's top dating coach and often compared to Will Smith in the movie Hitch.  In today's episode he shares some differences and similarities of men and women when it comes to dating and relationships.Here are just a few tips and words of wisdom James shares in this episode:Women often unknowingly situate themselves in unapproachable situations.  At the gym with their headphones on or going out in packs with our friends.Approaching a new relationship through the lens of an old relationship and assuming we will be treated poorly this time as well.He also shares some interesting statistics on why it feel difficult to find Mr. Right and advises both men and women to stop looking for the red flags and look for the green ones.If you're already in a relationship, no worries, he has some tips to share with you as well!For more dating advice, check out his podcast, Love Machine on your favorite listening app.Connect with ShanennJealousy Junkie WebsiteJoin the Jealousy Junkie Facebook Group  Join 30 Days to Different - Starting soon!Check us out on YouTube and make sure to subscribe!Schedule your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only.  No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment,  Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Is your partner a narcissist? If you feel like they are, it may be true, so we decided to present 10 warning signs to watch out for so you can know for sure. In this episode you will learn: 1. Learning about narcissism in order to emancipate yourself from self-blame and self-doubt. 2. Understanding that narcissism exists along a spectrum, and that not everyone with narcissistic traits has a personality disorder. 3. Recognizing the role of the inner critic in fueling jealousy and insecurity, and learning how to stand up to it. Here's a breakdown of what is covered:[00:00:05] - Introduction to Wendy.[00:00:47] - Introduction and training.[00:01:21] - Jealousy and impostor syndrome.[00:06:34] - Jealousy from a childhood.[00:12:10] - When grief feels big.[00:16:26] - Tips for dealing with narcissists.[00:24:49] - Partners of narcissists.[00:33:06] - Five tips to help break your jealous habits. Disarming the Narcissist Book by Wendy Behary  Join 30 Days to Different - Starting soon!Check us out on YouTube and make sure to subscribe!Schedule your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only.  No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment,  Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

All of us tend to lead with our thinking mind, which only makes up about 10% of who we actually are. There are other parts of our brain that have a larger capacity to accurately intake the information around us. However these parts of our mind are difficult to tap into, which is why there are tools such as hypnotherapy that can be used to enter these wiser faculties of our mind and help aid us in dealing with unpleasant feelings and emotions like jealousy. On today’s episode, medical doctor and hypnotherapist Dr. Ann Marie Balkanski shares one way of tapping into the subconscious mind and explains why it’s so important to get to know our subconscious mind as well as our working mind. By communicating directly with the feeling body, Dr. Balkanski helps her patients to engage with their subconscious in order to facilitate the start of the healing process.Dr. Balkanski’s work centers on the idea that memories are actually held within the body and that by familiarizing oneself with what those experiences make us feel, we can work through these traumas and let go. Hypnosis is about waking up and finding clarity on a situation, and feelings and experiences of jealousy are no different. So for all the jealousy junkies out there, we’re inviting you to try a bit of self-hypnosis and tap into the bigger, wiser part of your mind. Listen and let us know if it helped you!Topics discussed in this episode:Tapping into the subconscious mindThere’s so much more to who you areBefriending all parts of your mindBehaviors: the movie-based experiences of lifeDr. Balkanski’s journey to hypnotherapyHow hypnotherapy can help overcome jealousy Waking up with hypnosis Working within the hypnagogic stateThe power of meditationCheck out two of  Dr. Balkanski’s meditations below. Building Confidence MeditationReaching Your Goals MeditationJoin the Jealousy Junkie Facebook GroupJoin 30 Days to Different - Starting soon!Check us out on YouTube and make sure to subscribe!Schedule your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only.  No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment,  Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

In this episode, Shanenn walks through an exercise she did to stop her jealous actions.  She breaks these action habits into two categoriesUndercover Action HabitsDirect Action HabitsDownload the Action Habits Worksheet to follow along to identify and tame your jealous actions. Join 30 Days to Different - Starting soon!Check us out on YouTube and make sure to subscribe!Schedule your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only.  No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment,  Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

“We need to understand that being kind to ourselves has nothing to do with stuffing down our feelings or burying them, or smothering them with consumerism or addiction. It's really about looking inward. Seeing what feelings and what needs are there and trying to find realistic and compassionate solutions.” - Dr. Marcia SirotaBeing kind in our society is unfortunately very rare. Not just kindness to others, but kindness to ourselves as well. There seems to be a common theme among society, which is that we experience a lot of negative self-talk which causes us to not be compassionate with ourselves, or others. This can become an issue, especially in intimate relationships, because a lot of the mistrust and jealousy comes from innate negative self-talk where we filter the world through that perception.  What would happen if you became aware of those filters, and decided to change your perspective to have ruthless compassion for yourself and others? What would your life and relationships look like?  Forgiving yourself for the past is the first step, and resetting to do better in each moment is the key. You will never be ‘perfect’. This is an impossible standard that we need to do away with. What we can do is improve in every moment with kindness as our anchor. On today’s episode, we have invited Dr. Marcia Sirota who is a board certified psychiatrist and host of the ‘Ruthless Compassion’ podcast. Who better to help us uncover what it means to be ruthlessly compassionate and cultivate kindness within yourself and others! Marcia is on a mission to create an army of kindness warriors, because the world is in desperate need of this. Also, having this compassion for yourself could be the turning point for your jealousy in relationships.  So for all the jealousy junkies out there, we have a challenge for you. Listen in to hear what it is and let us know if it helped you!  Topics discussed in this episode: ●      What does it mean to be a kindness warrior●      Two ways we can have jealousy●      Importance of a reality check when differentiating jealousy●      When you need to use ruthless compassion ●      Importance of slowing down and relaxing to conjure a reality check●      Difference between being self indulgent, lenient, and kind●      Importance of having reasonable expectations of yourself●      Perception through the filter of our past vs. the truth●      Importance of mindfulness as a tool to cut through our filters●      The ruthless piece of ruthless compassion●      The importance of mental flexibility●      Take every opportunity to be kind●      A challenge for all the jealousy junkies out there!  To learn how to be ruth Join 30 Days to Different - Starting soon!Check us out on YouTube and make sure to subscribe!Schedule your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only.  No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment,  Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Jealousy can be insidious. It can cause us to unravel and mistrust ourselves to the point of exhaustion. Also, what feels like a deep knowing can oftentimes come across as a possible fear because of how activated our nervous system is at the thought of a partner cheating. Intuition is real and it can be trusted. As long as you know how to differentiate your intuition from anxiety and fear, it can be used as a powerful tool to help guide you in all areas of your life, especially when experiencing jealousy with your partner. If you are unsure whether you can differentiate the two, there are ways you can fine tune your intuition to use it to your advantage.To learn how to differentiate the two, we have invited mentor and mindset coach who also has a PhD in psychology, Ashley Greer, to give us practical exercises to anchor our intuition. She also teaches us how to know when you are feeling fear and anxiety, and how that manifests in the body and mind. These are practical tools that can be used in all areas of life, but are so important for the highly emotional parts, such as intimate relationships.Tune in to hear how you can start to fine tune your intuition and understand fear and anxiety from a different lens.Topics discussed in this episode:Differentiation between intuition and fearThe bodily sensations of fear vs. intuitionWhen do we get intuitive thoughts?An exercise on how to anchor in to your intuitionHow the quality of the questions are important to understanding intuitionDoes the strength of feeling determine intuition accuracy?Importance of leaving expectations at the doorThe importance of self trustTo connect with Ashlee, head to her website here! Join 30 Days to Different - Starting soon!Check us out on YouTube and make sure to subscribe!Schedule your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only.  No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment,  Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

The truth is, we are hardwired as humans to not want to apologize. It is one of the most difficult things to do on a cultural and neurological level. Feeling as though we did something wrong and that we hurt someone is not the way we want to feel about ourselves, so in an instant our brain chooses to protect itself. However, what if apologizing was looked at through a different lens? What if we used apologies as a way to create better connections with a partner and make big changes that could help elevate relationships.There are so many misconceptions about apologizing, such as,  apologizing is a sign of weakness, when it is actually the total opposite and we want to tackle this issue on today’s podcast. Joining us today is Harvard trained clinical psychologist and author of ‘A Good Apology: Four Steps to Make Things Right’, Molly Howes. Molly walks us through why people don’t like to apologize and how we can overcome that by using her four steps to apologizing. She is here to educate us on the psychology behind apologizing, and how we can become better apologizers for us and our partners.Apologizing isn’t about who is right and who is wrong, it’s about building better connections and working as a team. With some introspection and the right tools, apologizing in a way that will help your relationship is possible. Tune in to hear how!Topics discussed in this episode:Why is it so hard to apologize?How to better understand your partner’s point of viewWhy is it easier to see other people’s mistakes rather than our own?What is forgiveness inflation?Why guilt is actually a good thingWhat is confirmation bias?Does being open help your partner open up?The need for responsibility and empathy in an apologyCreating a system to ensure to not hurt the otherBecoming a team with your partner for a mutually beneficial outcomeMyths about apologiesQuestions to ask to help your partner open upPurchase Molly's Book:  https://www.grandcentralpublishing.com/titles/molly-howes-phd/a-good-apology/9781538701317/ Join 30 Days to Different - Starting soon!Check us out on YouTube and make sure to subscribe!Schedule your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only.  No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment,  Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.

Have you ever considered what your jealousy trying to accomplish?  If you flip jealousy on it's head and think of it in the best possible way, could it be the solution?Dr. Susan Heilter wrote about this in Psychology Today and it really changed the way I viewed my jealousy.  This lead to a super cool exercise that I am sharing with you on today's episode as well as what I discovered from it.  Join 30 Days to Different - Starting soon!Check us out on YouTube and make sure to subscribe!Schedule your FREE Discovery Call to see how I can help.Grab the 5 Must-Haves To Overcome Jealousy DisclaimerThe information on this podcast or any platform affiliated with Top Self LLC, or the Top Self podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only.  No material associated with Top Self podcast is intended to be a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment,  Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition or treatment and before taking on or performing any of the activities or suggestions discussed on the podcast or website.