The Secure Love Podcast with Julie Menanno
Julie Menanno
Welcome to The Secure Love Podcast: Real-Time Couples Therapy with Julie Menanno.
Julie Menanno is a licensed therapist committed to helping couples build secure, lasting connections through Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). In each episode, she works with a real couple and just like many of us, they're navigating life's challenges, raising kids, managing careers, and strengthening their relationship.
Join us as we explore the power of attachment theory and its profound impact on how we connect with our partners. Together, we'll uncover negative communication cycles and learn how to replace them with positive, lasting change. By following each couple's journey, you'll gain relatable insights and practical steps to apply in your own life.
The Secure Love Podcast is your companion on the path to healthier, happier relationships. Your journey to a more secure love starts now.
Julie Menanno is a licensed therapist committed to helping couples build secure, lasting connections through Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). In each episode, she works with a real couple and just like many of us, they're navigating life's challenges, raising kids, managing careers, and strengthening their relationship.
Join us as we explore the power of attachment theory and its profound impact on how we connect with our partners. Together, we'll uncover negative communication cycles and learn how to replace them with positive, lasting change. By following each couple's journey, you'll gain relatable insights and practical steps to apply in your own life.
The Secure Love Podcast is your companion on the path to healthier, happier relationships. Your journey to a more secure love starts now.
Episodes
Mentioned books
Mar 31, 2026 • 39min
S3 | Session 6: When the Fixer Finally Puts Down His Tools
A couple session shifts to the partner who usually ‘fixes’ things, revealing how his over-explaining masks deep shame and physical tension. They explore bodily signals of feeling like a failure and contrast sensations of success versus collapse. He tries naming his avoidant survival strategy and, by dropping the shield, discovers how vulnerability changes the emotional cycle.
Mar 24, 2026 • 53min
S3 | Session 5: What Does Your Fear Need?
Rachel, a partner working through lifelong emotional abandonment and chronic numbing, shares her struggle with grief, shame, and rumination. The conversation traces childhood rejection that built invisible walls. Short scenes explore the shift from anxious pursuit to detachment, how distraction and problem-solving hide pain, and gentle practices for inviting validation and sitting with fear.
12 snips
Mar 17, 2026 • 44min
S3 | Session 4: Building a Positive Cycle from the Fear of Disappointment
A couple confronts painful family dynamics and the panic that comes from fearing disappointment. They explore how avoidance actually soothes overwhelming alarm sensations. Vulnerability replaces explanation as a path to co-regulation and safety. Practical steps are offered for spotting triggers, naming fear, and slowly practicing healthier boundaries.
16 snips
Mar 10, 2026 • 1h 15min
S3 | Session 3: He Probably Wishes He Hadn't Chosen Me
Rachel, a woman with anxious attachment who fears she is 'too much,' shares raw vulnerability about detaching in her marriage. The conversation traces cycles of shame, his emotional avoidance, and how childhood patterns shaped both partners. Short, honest moments reveal why comfort can feel out of reach and how compassion begins to close the distance.
20 snips
Mar 3, 2026 • 37min
S3 | Session 2: Escaping to the Head When the Heart Gets Scared
A tense therapy moment unpacks why an avoidant partner retreats into intellect when fear rises. The couple explores how bodily tension, fear of failure, and people-pleasing drive emotional escape. A breakthrough shows vulnerability can foster mutual calm and shift destructive cycles. The conversation ends with practical steps toward staying present and co-regulating under stress.
28 snips
Feb 24, 2026 • 1h 13min
S3 | Session 1: Setting the TEMPO to Uncover Deep Wounds
A couple dives into an anxious-avoidant cycle and the intense therapy model used to break it down. The TEMPO framework is applied to a family-boundary conflict to trace triggers, emotions, meanings, protections, and organization. Deep grief, abandonment, and learned patterns come to light. The session focuses on naming fear, seeking emotional joining, and testing capacity for genuine presence.
5 snips
Feb 17, 2026 • 3min
Season 3 Trailer: I Leave You Because I Leave Me
A couple who seem perfect on paper are quietly unraveling under grief, financial betrayal, and eroding trust. One partner admits he withdraws to avoid himself while the other struggles with loneliness and losing her sense of self. The season teases the stakes of starting a family and the hard work of understanding trauma together.
Feb 3, 2026 • 1h 27min
The Season 2 Debrief: A Live Q&A with Julie
A live Q&A unpacks shame, regression, and why healing is rarely linear. Emotional safety and EFT vs directive approaches get contrasted. They explore attachment patterns, avoidant responses, and when to stay or reevaluate. Practical topics include rebuilding trust after postpartum abandonment, assessing trauma, and resources for grief and shame work.
Jan 20, 2026 • 1h 37min
Session 19: Unpacking Shame and The Reality of Healing (Season Finale)
In this season finale, the hosts tackle the roots of shame and the differences between shame and guilt. Brian reflects on how his exhausting ambition stems from a fear of feeling 'less than.' The discussion reveals the cycle of fear and disconnection within their relationship, spurred by past experiences and family influences. A poignant moment occurs when Brian learns to ask for support, challenging old patterns. As they acknowledge setbacks, it's clear that healing requires ongoing effort and connection amidst regression.
Jan 13, 2026 • 59min
Session 18: Understanding the Anxious Partner - The Path to Accountability (Pt. 2)
Tension rises as Brian grapples with feeling targeted and defensive, reluctant to acknowledge his role in their struggles. A breakthrough occurs during a heartfelt apology about his lack of support during critical moments in their lives. Julie skillfully connects Brian's overworking and perfectionism to deeper issues of shame and a desperate need to prove himself. Listeners are prompted to examine their own patterns of over-functioning and the emotional costs of avoiding vulnerability. A poignant exploration of accountability unfolds.
