The Work of Being Human

In this episode, we explore the most foundational and fundamental piece of your mental health: the health, protection, and resilience of your heart. We'll discuss what happens when you lose your heart, why you lost it, when you lost it, how we function without our hearts, how to get them back, and how to live with your heart again. Share this episode with someone who's had a broken heart, someone who needs to remember that their heart was, is, and always will be precious. 

This is our second week of facing 10 Unavoidable Truths. This week we look at the following:  #6: You are the the only one who can create the space necessary to hold all that you are. #7: Therapy is not a magic bullet. Some people don't grow. They just talk. #8 You cannot have control over another person unless you plan on abusing them. #9: Certain behaviors will drive people away. These are generally behaviors that destroy trust. #10: Trauma, abuse, brokenness, hardship, mistakes, and all the other things that weaken us and change us do NOT decrease our value or worth. Let's unpack these so that we understand them. If we run from reality, we give ourselves no other option than having to face the School of Hard Knocks, when reality has to hit us squarely between the eyes for us to "get it." The more we embrace difficult truths, the more we grow into maturity and self-confidence - able to handle life on life's terms.

We avoid pain. We mostly avoid the uncomfortable, disorienting truths about life because they cause cognitive dissonance, and we don't like that feeling. We don't want to experience the discomfort and pain of realizing that what we thought was true isn't. We'd rather just avoid the whole affair, but the acceptance of these truths is where we actually grow, mature, and acquire wisdom. It is through the acceptance of reality that we become free. This week, we explore the facts of life that we don't want to face and we discuss what we need within us to actually face them. This week and next, we are going to engage the top ten hardest truths to accept about this human experience. Yes, they're hard to hear, but we have to trust the process. The only path to mental health is through reality.

Welcome to the final week in our series called "Waking Up," the process by which we become aware of our conditioning and begin to make conscious choices about who we are and how we live. Acceptance is the final stage of this work. This is when and where we stop resisting what is and learn the all-important skill of surrender. We admit we are powerless, and instead of that fact frightening us, we see it as empowerment. Our options become visible when we step into reality and accept life for what it is. This is the stage of growth when we stop kicking and screaming and insisting that everything must be as we want it. And as we start to let go - of our Ego's need to constantly be in control - we experience peace. This is Waking Up.

Welcome to week four in our series called "Waking Up," the process by which we become aware of our conditioning and begin to make conscious choices about who we are and how we live. Sadness is one of the the hardest stages of this work. This is when and where we come into direct contact with our pain. Our work is to learn one of the most essential processes of life: how to grieve. We must learn it, allow it, and eventually come to embrace it. Grief is how we integrate our losses. We don't let them go... rather, they become part of us through the grief process. This is the expansion of the human being - from naive and immature to compassionate and wise. Our sadness will lead us, through our tears, to what we value most. This awakens us to who we truly are. When we allow our sadness, we create room for our joy. The depth of our sadness and grief holds our capacity for joy. This stage is one of the hardest, and the most rewarding.

Welcome to week three in our series called "Waking Up," the process by which we become aware of our conditioning and begin to make conscious choices about who we are and how we live. Bargaining is what we do when we aren't quite yet ready to face who we see in the mirror, the choices we've made, and the consequences we've incurred. Bargaining is how we lessen the blow. Through bargaining, we are able to take small steps forward with what we perceive to be our "dignity" intact. Our work through this stage of Waking Up is to slowly, consciously allow ourselves to face who we are without shame. Bargaining buys us time but it keeps us from seeing the scope of our reality. This week, we learn what it is, how it functions, and how to get past it.

Welcome to week two in our series called "Waking Up," the process by which we become aware of our conditioning and begin to make conscious choices about who we are and how we live. Anger is the essential, terrifying step of the journey in which we finally allow ourselves to feel our self-worth and the assaults we've experienced against it. Some of those assaults came from others and some from us. This week, we're going to take a good look at anger: what it is, what it's not, how to use it, what it's for, and why it's such an essential part of our lives. Anger gets a bad rap; we confuse it with aggression. This week, let's learn the difference so we can allow our anger and allow it to do what it does: point us in the direction of living a life with the boundaries in place that keep our self-worth, self-respect, and dignity intact. 

"Waking up" refers to coming out of the coma-like sleep we live in when we aren't conscious of who we truly are, what we do, and why we do it. All of us have been conditioned to think and act a certain way by teachings we've received or experiences we've had. Waking up is about noticing our conditioning, questioning it, looking within, and becoming our True Selves. The five stages of waking up are: denial, anger, bargaining, sadness, and acceptance. If we know anything about death and dying, we might notice that it's the same process, the same stages. So what has to die for us to wake up? Our ego. The False Self. The Self that protects us from criticism, judgment, and shame. In this week's episode, we tackle the first stage of waking up: coming out of denial. We need to understand it well so it doesn't frighten us. Everyone is in denial, and if we're doing our work, we're coming out of it. It's slow. It's painful. And it's necessary if we are ever to become free, if we are ever to awaken and live our real lives.

Sometimes we look back on our lives and see how far we've come, and we're mystified by it. "How did I get here?" Sometimes we set our minds to change something, determined to stop the pain and suffering we've been living in with conscious effort. Sometimes the consequences of our actions become so dire, so painful, that we simply must do something different. Whatever the path, we change. We grow. Some more than others. This episode breaks down the process, whether it's happening consciously or not. The more we know, the more choices we have. When we understand the change process from the inside out, we can become conscious agents of our own transformation.

Summer brings with it increased desire and ability to travel. We visit family, beaches, parks, and places of interest. We look at weather forecasts and itineraries and think to ourselves: what should I pack? What will I need? The greatest trip any of us will ever take is the trip of our own life. So we ask the same questions: what should I bring with me on this journey called Life, and what can I leave behind? What will I use and what is dead weight? In this week's episode, we talk about the mindsets and beliefs that weigh us down and the absolute essentials we will need on the journey. It's the single greatest trip of our lifetime! Let's be prepared.