Sex and Psychology Podcast

When I surveyed more than 4,000 adults about their sexual fantasies for my book Tell Me What You Want, I found that 1 in 7 people had fantasized about feet or toes. In today’s episode, we’re exploring the fascinating history of foot fetishes, the psychology behind attraction to feet, and why men seem more likely to report this interest than women. My guest is Adam Zmith is a writer and multi-format producer. His books include Deep Sniff: A History of Poppers and Queer Futures, as well as Solemates: A History of Our Fetish for Feet. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: How long have foot fetishes existed? What draws people to feet in the first place? How common are foot fetishes? Why do women’s feet seem to be fetishized more than men’s? Check out Adam’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest (Adam Zmith headshot by Jade Smith).

Dating apps make it seem like you can swipe your way to the perfect partner. But attraction isn’t something we can fully predict from profiles. It emerges through interaction. So what happens when we try to optimize something that’s inherently unpredictable? In this episode, we break down the psychology of online dating and how to approach it more effectively. I am joined once again by Dr. Paul Eastwick, a Professor of Psychology at UC Davis, where he serves as the head of the Social-Personality Psychology program. He hosts the popular podcast Love Factually with his long-time colleague, Eli Finkel, where they analyze rom-coms and romantic dramas from the perspective of relationship science. Paul is also author of the new book Bonded by Evolution. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: Why might using multiple dating strategies improve your odds? Can AI predict attraction better than we can ourselves? How accurate are first impressions on dating apps? Is there an optimal timeline for meeting in person after matching? What strategies lead to healthier online dating experiences? You can check out Paul’s website to learn more about his work. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Head to https://paired.com/JUSTIN and download the #1 app for couples to start maintaining your lasting love today. If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Paul Eastwick, UC Davis psychology professor who studies attraction and relationships, shares why our stated “type” rarely predicts real chemistry. He explains how speed-dating research, conversation quality, and social context shape who we actually find attractive. Topics include why checklist matches can lack spark, how interaction dynamics matter, and whether compatibility is discovered or built.

Esmé Louise James, PhD candidate and author of Kinky History, explores how cultural moments shape desire. She traces leather and nylon’s wartime roots, the curious rise of foot fascination, the long arc of porn as political tool, and how censorship and culture birthed hentai. Short, lively dives into why our fetishes look the way they do.

Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons, an Emory public health professor and author who studies sexual wellness, discusses orgasm equity and who holds responsibility for orgasm during partnered sex. She debunks media myths about simultaneous orgasms and examines why people fake orgasms. The conversation covers scientific definitions, distinctions like ejaculation versus orgasm, and whether multi‑orgasmic skills can be learned.

Dr. Nicole Thompson, sex and relationship psychotherapist and founder of The Pleasure Practice, joins to talk about designing workable agreements for non-monogamy. She explains needs versus desires and offers tools like the Compass of Consent. Short practices, scenario visualization, and gradual steps for building trust get special attention.

Beginning a consensually non-monogamous relationship can trigger reactions you never saw coming. For example, the first time your partner connects with someone else, your body might react like there’s danger. So why is that? Today, we’re going to explore how to craft secure non-monogamous relationships and work skillfully with intense emotions that might arise along the way. My guest is Dr. Nicole Thompson, a sex and relationship psychotherapist and host of the popular podcast, Modern Anarchy. She is the author of The Psychedelic Jealousy Guide: Crafting Secure Non-Monogamous Relationships. She is also the founder of The Pleasure Practice, where she supports individuals in crafting pleasurable sex lives and expansive non-monogamous relationships. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: In what ways is exploring non-monogamy akin to the experience of taking a psychedelic? How can somatic regulation help when we’re experiencing jealousy and other intense emotions? What factors contribute to feelings of jealousy in non-monogamous relationships? What does it look like to transform our relationship with jealousy? To learn more, check out the Modern Anarchy website. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  Discover how care in every detail transforms simple routines into moments of true comfort and ease. Head to cozyearth.com and use my code JUSTIN for up to 20% off. Experience the craft behind the comfort with Cozy Earth, and make every day feel intentional. Passionate about building a career in sexuality? Check out the Sexual Health Alliance. With SHA, you’ll connect with world-class experts and join an engaged community of sexuality professionals from around the world. Visit SexualHealthAlliance.com and start building the sexuality career of your dreams today. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Humans evolved for face-to-face courtship in small communities, where attraction unfolded gradually and choices were limited. Today, we’re navigating global dating markets, algorithms, AI recommendations, endless novelty, and constant rejection. So what happens when ancient mating psychology collides with modern technology? I am joined once again by Dr. Justin Garcia, evolutionary biologist and Executive Director of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. He is the chief scientific advisor for Match, and author of the new book The Intimate Animal: The Science of Sex, Fidelity, And Why We Live and Die For Love. Some of the specific topics we explore in this episode include: How do dating apps shape our dopamine responses and bonding tendencies? Could AI actually improve mate selection, or is that better left to humans? Are changing relationship patterns a sign of human adaptability, or something else? Where might the future of sex, dating, and intimacy be headed? To learn more about Dr. Garcia, follow @drjustingarcia on the socials. Got a sex question? Send me a podcast voicemail to have it answered on a future episode at speakpipe.com/sexandpsychology. *** Thank you to our sponsors!  If you’re ready to ditch the shady stuff and choose a libido supplement that’s effective and that you can feel confident about, it’s time to check out Drive Boost. Visit vb.health and use code JUSTIN for 10% off.  If you’re looking to gain a broad understanding of human sexuality or refresh your knowledge, check out the upcoming Human Sexuality Intensive courses at the Kinsey Institute: https://kinseyinstitute.org/learning/human-sexuality-intensive.html  *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Bluesky to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Dr. Justin Garcia, evolutionary biologist and Kinsey Institute director, explores how our ancient mating biology shapes modern love. He delves into pair bonding versus sexual novelty. He discusses brain chemistry of romantic attraction. He examines how modern life and technology clash with evolved mating systems.

Jenny Zigrino, stand-up comedian known for late-night spots and sharp observational bits. She talks about how jokes can lower sexual tension and make hard talks feel safer. They explore when humor enhances attraction and when it shuts people down. Jenny also shares how performance skills translate to honest, playful sexual communication.