255: David Burkus - The Hidden Networks That Can Transform Your Life (Friend Of A Friend)

Apr 29, 2018

David Burkus, best-selling author and business school professor who researches networks. He explores dormant and weak ties, practical steps to reconnect them, and how small clusters and curiosity conversations create big opportunities. Hear stories about creating communities, making strategic introductions, and turning one connection into game-changing outcomes.

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INSIGHT

Dormant Ties Often Beat Close Friends

Dormant ties are former close relationships that fell away but often hold the most useful new information.
Reconnecting deliberately is easier because rapport exists and dormant ties can open new opportunities quickly.

ADVICE

Schedule Reconnects With Dormant Ties

Make a list of dormant ties and use tools or simple routines to reconnect regularly.
Use Contactually or scan Facebook while scrolling, then send a personal text or email instead of just liking a post.

ANECDOTE

How One Dormant Tie Landed An NFL CIO Role

Michelle McKenna Doyle used a dormant tie plus one degree of separation to land the NFL CIO role.
She found a job posting, reconnected with an old colleague turned headhunter, got introduced to the search firm and convinced the NFL to hire her.

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The Learning Leader Show With Ryan Hawk

Episode #255: David Burkus - The Hidden Networks That Can Transform Your Life (Friend Of A Friend)

David Burkus is a best-selling author, a sought after speaker, and business school professor. In 2017, he was named as one of the world's top business thought leaders by Thinkers50.

The Learning Leader Show

"The fundamental element that defines the quality of our lives are the people we surround ourselves with and the conversations we have with them."

Show Notes:

What defines a happy life?
- "The fundamental element that defines the quality of our lives are the people we surround ourselves with and the conversations we have with them. That's how you live a happy life."
Adam Rifkin - The "strength of weak ties"
- The research suggests you have better odds of getting a job through a loose acquaintance than a close friend
  - "Dormant ties" are very valuable to have in your life. Make a deliberate effort to reach back out to those people. Use a system to keep track of those relationships
This is the "what" and the "how" to get it done
From "science" to "practice" -- The key to success is to be prescriptive. Give actionable advice
The story of Michelle McKenna Doyle -- How she created her dream job in the NFL. 1 dormant tie - 1 degree of separation. "Most of us are only 1 or 2 introductions away from what we want..."
Clusters - People tend to cluster around like minds. There is amazing power of small communities
- "Build your own stage, your own community"
Super connector - Dunbar's # -- Brian Grazer
- Having regular curiosity conversations -- That is how he met Ron Howard
Never ask the question, "How can I help you?" Figure out how you can help someone else, then help them. Don't put the onus on them.
- Always think, "who does this person need to meet?" And make connections
In a networking situation, don't just ask - "What do you do?" -- Try to learn more about them as a person, not just their job
- "What excites you right now?
- Who's your favorite super hero?"
- Where did you grow up?"
Be interested in order to be interesting
"We feel guilt when we no longer want to associate with old friends and colleagues who haven't changed. The price, and marker, of growth." - Naval Ravikant
How David and his wife measured their friendships and peer group -- They made lists
How to give a TED Talk? -- Practiced it hundreds of times, hired a coach
Go to www.DavidBurkus.com/Ryan

Social Media:

Follow David on Twitter: @davidburkus
Read: Friend of A Friend
Go to: DavidBurkus.com/Ryan
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Join our Facebook Group: The Learning Leader Community
To Follow Me on Twitter: @RyanHawk12