Teach Me How To Adult

Hello lovers and friends, we’re back just in time for Valentine’s day with an episode that might just solve all your relationship blues (even if you’re just dating you!). This week we’re digging into the four attachment styles — what they are, how they show up in relationships, and how to navigate them like a thoroughly therapized pro. Whether you’re aware of them or not, everyone has repeated patterns and automatic responses that crop up in their love life. Sometimes those reactions aren’t healthy, but luckily for us, we can do the work to create security and stability. That’s where attachment styles come in — the four attachment styles (secure, anxious, avoidant, disorganized) are influenced by our formative years, and they characterize how we interact and behave in relationships as adults.But any attachment anxieties that crop up can be healed, and we called in Jessica Baum (who literally wrote the book on anxious attachment) to help! Jessica is a psychotherapist and couples counselor, founder of The Relationship Institute of Palm Beach, and the founder of Be Self-full®, a company that provides counseling, group coaching and courses for couples and individuals. This is a juicy one, so join us as we discuss:The four attachment styles and how they show up in relationshipsHow your childhood influences your attachment styleWays your attachment style plays into chemistry and  attractionStrategies for self-soothing and working towards secure attachments Self-regulating vs co-regulation with your partnerWhat a codependent relationship might look like The key to supporting your partner’s attachment styleWe hope this episode helps you create secure attachments and prioritize self-improvement. In case we don’t say it enough, we love you!Take Jessica’s quiz to find out what your attachment style is!Follow Jessica:@jessicabaumlmhcBeselffull.comBuy Jessica’s book Anxiously Attached: Becoming More Secure in Life and Love Subscribe to my Substack:teachmehowtoadult.substack.comFollow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultmedia@gillian.bernerFollow on TikTok: @teachmehowtoadultSubscribe on YouTube

Welcome to today’s very special ICYMI episode…our 100th episode! We cannot thank you enough for tuning in each week and for all the love that you’ve shown our show. And because we’re feeling the love, we’re running a giveaway where you can win a love month prize pack full of our favourite items for romance, self-love, and connection (Jay Shetty’s new book! The Ordinary skincare kit! Lube! Games!). To enter, leave us a rating and write a review on Apple Podcasts, screenshot it, and DM it to us on Instagram @teachmehowtoadultpodcast. For a bonus entry, you can share one of your fave episodes of the podcast on your Instagram story and tag us! The winner will be announced on Galentine's Day, Monday, Feb 13th! Today, we’re throwing it back to a game-changing moment from our episode with bestselling author and boundaries expert, Melissa Urban, on how to set boundaries in a kind, yet clear way. We often think boundaries are about telling other people what to do, putting up walls, and keeping people at a distance — which can feel pretty intimidating! But Melissa explains that boundaries are actually designed to improve your relationships with others by letting people know the actions that you will take to protect your own needs and feelings. So tune in as we learn Melissa’s Green, Yellow and Red framework for setting boundaries, why it’s important to proactively establish them early on in your relationships, and why we need to rid ourselves of the narrative that it’s “mean” or “selfish”  to have boundaries in the first place.Melissa is a six-time New York Times bestselling author, the co-founder and CEO of the wildly popular Whole30 nutritional program, and host of the Do the Thing podcast.  Melissa has helped millions of people live their best lives through the work she does in the health and mental wellness spaces.Listen to our full episode with Melissa here!Tune in every Monday for an expert dose of life advice in under 10 minutes.For show notes and more adulting tips, visit: teachmehowtoadult.caSign up for our monthly adulting newsletter:teachmehowtoadult.ca/newsletter Follow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultpodcast @yunggillianaire@cailynmichaanFollow MelissaBuy Melissa’s book: https://www.amazon.ca/dp/0735243212 Subscribe to my Substack:teachmehowtoadult.substack.comFollow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultmedia@gillian.bernerFollow on TikTok: @teachmehowtoadultSubscribe on YouTube

It’s officially the month of love (and the unofficial Miley-buy-yourself-flowers month!), so we’re kicking it off with an episode dedicated to the real love of our life – ourselves! It’s easy to get so focused on dating and romance, that we forget about the importance of self-love, and we’re ready to change that.Whether you’re feeling lonely or single, or craving some you-time in your relationship, learning to date yourself is a practice that can literally change your life. Because the way you treat yourself will impact the love you attract and the future fulfillment you feel. And this isn’t just for the singles! Learning to fulfill your own needs, take yourself out, and romanticize your day-to-day will positively affect all your relationships, and it starts with showing up for your damn self. Luckily, Gill has been on a self-love journey through singledom and solo living, and she’s here to spill the tea on everything she’s learned along the way. So if you’re ready to enter your Miley era, join us as we chat about:What dating yourself *actually* meansWhy it’s time to stop putting your life on holdReclaiming your alone time and reframing lonelinessHow to take yourself on a solo date Ways to romance yourself in the day-to-dayWhy you should be giving yourself your love language The deep inner work that will increase self-compassion and self-love We hope this episode inspires you to hold your own damn hand and start prioritizing YOU! If you have any burning questions for us and you want to get us in the hotseat, DM or email us your Qs at contact@teachmehowtoadult.ca and we’ll dive into them in an upcoming Asking For A Friend. For show notes and more adulting tips, visit: teachmehowtoadult.caSign up for our monthly adulting newsletter:teachmehowtoadult.ca/newsletter Follow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultpodcast @yunggillianaire@cailynmichaan Subscribe to my Substack:teachmehowtoadult.substack.comFollow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultmedia@gillian.bernerFollow on TikTok: @teachmehowtoadultSubscribe on YouTube

Welcome to today’s ICYMI, where we kick off the week with a quick game-changing tip from one of our guests that you might have missed. Today, we’re revisiting some fire moments from our episode on How To Ditch Toxic Positivity, with Whitney Goodman. We break down how to remain optimistic without engaging in toxic positivity, and learning to enjoy the journey of life without the pressure to always be constantly happy. It’s all about allowing yourself and others to hold space for the good, the bad and the neutral emotions in life. Because sitting with your feelings won’t leave you stuck there — you gotta feel them to heal them!  Today’s guest, Whitney Goodman, is a psychotherapist, author of the book Toxic Positivity, a columnist for Psychology Today and appears regularly in publications like The New York Times and Teen Vogue.No one should have to pretend that everything’s ok when it isn’t, so if you’re looking for some validation, you’ve come to the right place!Listen to our full episode with Whitney here!Tune in every Monday for an expert dose of life advice in under 10 minutes.For show notes and more adulting tips, visit: teachmehowtoadult.caSign up for our monthly adulting newsletter:teachmehowtoadult.ca/newsletter Follow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultpodcast @yunggillianaire@cailynmichaanFollow Whitney:sitwithwhit.com@sitwithwhitToxic Positivity: Keeping It Real in a World Obsessed with Being Happy Subscribe to my Substack:teachmehowtoadult.substack.comFollow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultmedia@gillian.bernerFollow on TikTok: @teachmehowtoadultSubscribe on YouTube

If you’ve scrolled through TikTok this past month you’ve probably seen a lot of people finishing their “Dry January” or rethinking their relationship with alcohol in 2023. (Even Miley says she’s 4 months sober, and we’re ready for our #Flowers era!) There’s been a major shift towards the sober-curious as we become more health-conscious, productivity-driven, and aware of our mental health. So this week, we’re taking a deep, hard (and hella vulnerable) look at our relationship with alcohol, and bringing you along for the ride as we reevaluate how to move forward with booze.  We’re not here to convince you to quit drinking — we love ourselves a boozy night out as much as the next queen, and this podcast was born from (more than) a few glasses of rosé! But while we aspire to age like a fine wine, our former drinking habits have not aged well, and getting drunk definitely isn’t serving us in our 30s. This is a choose your own adventure, because we’re leaving labels — along with getting blackout — behind in 2022. Whether you’ve been sober-curious, or you just want to live a more balanced life, you don’t need to label yourself as a drinker or non-drinker: it's just about exploring your relationship with alcohol mindfully, getting self-aware and honest with yourself, and setting boundaries around drinking when you need to in any situation. If you’re curious about what a more mindful relationship with alcohol looks like, grab a glass of your favorite bevy and tune in as we chat about: Why drinking is so embedded in our cultureThe mental and physical impacts of boozeCailyn’s journey to a more sober-curious lifeGill’s journey to drinking more mindfully and intentionallyUnderstanding the “why” behind your drinking habitsUncovering your drinking triggersFiguring out what type of booze works best for you (Byeee tequila shots!)Setting clear boundaries with yourself and others Dealing with the social pressure to drinkOur favourite alcohol-free activities (that are still maximum fun)Science-backed tips for dealing with hangoversWe hope this episode helps you gain a deeper understanding of yourself and your relationship with alcohol, no matter what journey you’re on! DM us and let us know how you’re feeling about drinking these days, and what’s been working for you. Check out the Huberman Lab Alcohol episodeFor show notes and more adulting tips, visit: teachmehowtoadult.caSign up for our monthly adulting newsletter:teachmehowtoadult.ca/newsletter Follow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultpodcast @yunggillianaire@cailynmichaan Subscribe to my Substack:teachmehowtoadult.substack.comFollow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultmedia@gillian.bernerFollow on TikTok: @teachmehowtoadultSubscribe on YouTube

Welcome to this week’s ICYMI, where we kick off the week with a quick game-changing tip from one of our guests that you might have missed. Today, we’re revisiting one of our biggest *aha* moments from last week’s episode with dietitian Abbey Sharp, on how to balance your plate and release any guilt around “fear” or “triggers” foods.Abbey shares her game-changing hunger-crushing combo, AKA her anti-diet, additive approach to eating, and spills the tea on how to (quite literally) put all food on the same morally equal plate. Abbey is a Registered Dietitian, food writer and blogger, best-selling author, TV and radio personality, and founder of Abbey’s Kitchen. You might know her from her insanely popular Youtube channel, TikTok and Instagram, which are followed by millions of fans for her empowering nutrition facts, wellness myth debunking, and highly entertaining critiques of BS celebrity diets.Get ready to *actually* start enjoying your meals and freeing yourself from the mental weight of food guilt! Listen to our full episode with Abbey here!Tune in every Monday for an expert dose of life advice in under 10 minutes.For show notes and more adulting tips, visit: teachmehowtoadult.caSign up for our monthly adulting newsletter:teachmehowtoadult.ca/newsletter Follow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultpodcast @yunggillianaire@cailynmichaanFollow Abbey:abbeyskitchen.comAbbey's Youtube Channel@AbbeysKitchen Subscribe to my Substack:teachmehowtoadult.substack.comFollow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultmedia@gillian.bernerFollow on TikTok: @teachmehowtoadultSubscribe on YouTube

While we love a New Years resolution self-improvement vibe, we’re officially breaking up with the toxic diet culture goals that are so pervasive every January. But it’s hard to tune out the BS “wellness advice” that’s taking over Instagram and focus on what’s *actually* healthy and sustainable for us in the long run. So if you’re over the “new year new me” weight loss narrative, and you’re looking to make 2023 the year of restriction-free eating for pleasure and nourishment: Abbey Sharp just entered the chat.Abbey is a Registered Dietitian, food writer and blogger, best-selling author, TV and radio personality, and founder of Abbey’s Kitchen. You might know her from her insanely popular Youtube channel, TikTok and Instagram, which are followed by millions of fans for her empowering nutrition facts, wellness myth debunking, and highly entertaining critiques of BS celebrity diets.We cover everything from intuitive eating, gut health and realtalk on bloating, to creating satisfying meals and erasing the guilt around “trigger” foods. Plus, Abbey shares a hot tip on what to eat when you’re hungover…you’re welcome! Tune in as we chat about:Abbey’s personal journey overcoming disordered eatingWhy counting calories is a flawed systemDebunking diet culture narratives around bloatingNatural ways to help with bloating (#yearoftheKiwi)Abbey’s “Hunger Crushing Combo” for balance and nourishmentHow to break up with “cheat days”, guilt and shame around foodWhy we should actually eat our “trigger” foods more oftenWhy juice detoxes are bullshitAbbey’s top hangover cure (that you probably already have in your fridge right now) We hope this episode helps you heal your relationship with food and feel your healthiest this year inside and out.For show notes and more adulting tips, visit: teachmehowtoadult.caSign up for our monthly adulting newsletter:teachmehowtoadult.ca/newsletter Follow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultpodcast @yunggillianaire@cailynmichaanFollow Abbey:Abbey's KitchenAbbey's Youtube Channel @abbeyskitchen/ Subscribe to my Substack:teachmehowtoadult.substack.comFollow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultmedia@gillian.bernerFollow on TikTok: @teachmehowtoadultSubscribe on YouTube

Welcome to our new weekly series, ICYMI, where we start off the week with a quick game-changing tip from one of our guests that you might have missed. Tune in every Monday for an expert dose of life advice in under 10 minutes. Today, we’re throwing it back to some hella helpful tips from finance expert Nicole Victoria, on the smart way to invest during a recession — from diversifying your investment portfolio, to dollar-cost averaging into the tip and setting proper goals for each investment account. Nicole is a CEO, money coach and financial literacy advocate Nicole Victoria AKA No Budget Babe, who specializes in helping millennial and gen-z women effortlessly manage their money and build bank accounts that never stop growing.So grab a glass (or a bottle—economies of scale!) of wine, and get ready to set yourself up for financial success.Listen to our full episode with Nicole Victoria of No Budget Babe here!For show notes and more adulting tips, visit: teachmehowtoadult.caSign up for our monthly adulting newsletter:teachmehowtoadult.ca/newsletter Follow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultpodcast @yunggillianaire@cailynmichaanNo Budget BabeInstagram: @NobudgetbabeTikTok: @nobudgetbabe Subscribe to my Substack:teachmehowtoadult.substack.comFollow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultmedia@gillian.bernerFollow on TikTok: @teachmehowtoadultSubscribe on YouTube

So you survived the interview process and got the job, but what’s next? In this week’s Asking For a Friend, we’re tackling a question from one of our listeners that’s especially relevant now in the time of the Great Resignation: How do I crush it at a new job?With the added pressure of making a good impression and hitting the ground running,  it can be hard to find your bearings and feel comfortable in a new environment. Luckily, Cailyn has been going through this exact thing after recently starting a new job, and she’s ready to spill the tea on how to start with a bang. Join us as we chat about:Our past experience playing it small at workWays to overcome impostor syndrome in your new roleTips for your first month on the job (and should you creep colleagues in advance??)How to show confidence and establish yourself as a leaderFitting in with the company culture while still being your authentic selfSetting healthy boundaries while proving your commitment and work ethicWe hope this episode helps you slay your first few weeks, and huge congrats to our listener on her new role! If you have any burning questions for us and you want to get us in the hot seat, DM or email us your Qs at contact@teachmehowtoadult.ca and we’ll dive into them in an upcoming Asking For A Friend.For show notes and more adulting tips, visit: teachmehowtoadult.caSign up for our monthly adulting newsletter:teachmehowtoadult.ca/newsletter Follow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultpodcast @yunggillianaire@cailynmichaan Subscribe to my Substack:teachmehowtoadult.substack.comFollow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultmedia@gillian.bernerFollow on TikTok: @teachmehowtoadultSubscribe on YouTube

Hellooo, 2023! While every day is an opportunity to start fresh, January is the perfect time to set new goals and intentions for the year ahead. But if you’ve been feeling stuck or unsure about what your greater purpose is, this episode is for you! Two of the concepts we’ve been thinking a lot about while setting our own goals for the year have been living more “purposefully” and “intentionally”. And the secret to doing that is designing your life using Ikigai.ICYMI, Ikigai is a Japanese philosophy that translates to your “reason for being.” It's the thing that gets you out of bed in the morning. It’s your life's purpose.Ikigai helps you design a life full of meaning and balance so that you’re not just aimlessly stumbling through each day. Your work life, home life, and hobbies are carefully chosen with intention to create fulfillment. That doesn’t mean you’ll always love every aspect of your job and obligations — it means that you’ll be able to accept the crappier parts because you’re living in alignment with the things you care about and that you’re good at.So how do you find your ikigai? Tune in as we chat about:The philosophy of IkigaiThe four pillars behind IkigaiHow living with purpose can change your lifeThe categories we’re working on this yearQuestions to ask yourself to find your IkigaiPLUS download our free Ikigai discovery sheet that outlines all of the questions to ask yourself to find your Ikigai: teachmehowtoadult.ca/ikigaiWe hope this episode helps you discover Ikigai and start living a life full of joy and meaning. We’re sending you all the good vibes in 2023! Subscribe to my Substack:teachmehowtoadult.substack.comFollow us on the ‘gram:@teachmehowtoadultmedia@gillian.bernerFollow on TikTok: @teachmehowtoadultSubscribe on YouTube