Moonshot Mentor with Laverne McKinnon

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This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit moonshotmentor.substack.comOkay confession time. When I was getting my MBA, I had to take my statistics course twice.The problem wasn’t my capacity or that I was “bad at math.” I’m actually quite good at it. The issue was the teaching method. It was lecture heavy, and that’s not how I learn. It didn’t matter how hard I worked or how tenacious I was. Nothing stuck.And I really wanted my MBA because I believed it mattered for being considered for leadership roles in corporate environments. So I withdrew from my statistics class the first time because I couldn’t keep up. The second time, I hired a tutor to get me through it.What I realized with my tutor’s help is that I don’t learn well when I’m being lectured at. I need to read, write things down, and work through examples to make sense of them.So if you’re struggling to close a skills gap that affects your next career step, figure out what kind of learner you are so you can learn in a way that actually sticks.Why This Matters More Than It SoundsA skills gap is not just logistical. It can get emotional fast. I know C suite leaders whose confidence has taken a hit because they couldn’t learn quickly enough. It can show up as second guessing, slowed decision making, and playing smaller than they normally do.When the learning method fails, it can feel like proof that you’re behind, about to be found out, or not cut out for the next level.That proof is flimsy without a lot of evidence. A better explanation is often true. You’re using the wrong training format for your brain.The Four Learner TypesThink of the four learner types as a shortcut for choosing the right training. They describe how you take in information, how you make sense of it, and how you’re most likely to turn it into real skill on the job. Most people are a blend, but one or two types usually lead.Quick note: these categories are a tool, not a box. Use them to choose smarter methods, not to decide what you “can’t” do.* Visual learners: You learn best when you can see it. Diagrams, examples, demonstrations, a whiteboard moment where it finally clicks.* Auditory learners: You learn best by hearing and talking. Conversations, hearing it out loud, talking it out loud, listening, asking questions in real time.* Kinesthetic learners: You learn best by doing. Reps, role play, trial and error, building a tiny version, practicing in the real environment.* Reading and writing learners: You learn best through text. Clear steps, notes, frameworks, outlines, and writing your way into understanding.If you’ve been following me, you can probably see how I’m a reading and writing learner. I’m always providing frameworks and asking questions.Quick Self CheckHere’s a simple way to figure out how you learn.Start with a time you struggled to learn and it just wouldn’t stick. What format was being used: reading, watching, listening, or jumping in and doing it?Now think of something you learned more easily. How did you learn that one?You’re not hunting for a perfect label here. You’re noticing what makes learning click for you so you can choose training that matches your brain instead of forcing yourself through a method that keeps you stuck.Match The Training To The LearnerIf you’re a visual learner, stop forcing yourself to “just read the manual.” Find a short demo, a template, or a marked up example.If you’re an auditory learner, do not learn alone in silence. Find a live session, a study buddy, or record yourself explaining it and listen back.If you’re a kinesthetic learner, stop collecting information and start collecting reps. Practice first, study second. Use simulations, mock runs, and real world tasks.If you’re a reading and writing learner, give yourself clean instructions and time to synthesize. Take notes, create a checklist, and write a one page summary in your own words.When my youngest daughter was learning her times tables, we would drill them in the car. She hated it and never got them right. Then I realized she’s a kinesthetic learner. So we tossed a tennis ball back and forth as she ran the tables and everything clicked.Bottom LineIf you’ve identified a skills gap and you’re struggling to close it, don’t jump straight to “I should be able to pick this up faster.” Start by checking the training method. When you learn in a way that matches how you learn best, effort turns into skill, and skill turns into momentum. Sometimes the breakthrough isn’t more effort. It’s a different approach.Before You Go! A Special Invitation!If you’re longing to hear more personal stories and insights about how other folks are navigating career grief, join me this Thursday, March 26 at 9 am PST for a Substack live. My guest is global entrepreneur Amanda O who was a successful barbershop owner and YouTuber and is now an investor and coach. She has had some significant pivots in her career and we’ll be chatting about why it’s important to recognize not just the visible losses of career grief, but also the hidden ones. Come join us!If someone came to mind while you were reading this—please send it their way. You never know the impact a well-timed message can have.Related Content* Is There Something Wrong With Me?* How Perfectionism Leads To Imposter Syndrome* Is Expertise Really All It’s Cracked Up To Be?Longing To Feel Lighter?Professional heartbreak can leave you spinning. You replay what happened, question your judgment, get stuck in indecision, and worry you’ll never get your mojo back.Solid Ground is the paid member program inside the Moonshot Mentor Substack community that helps you move from spinning to forward motion.Paid members tell me they feel less weighed down. Empowered. Relaxed for the first time in a long time. Here’s the thing. It’s not because they got a pep talk. It’s because they finally got an accurate explanation for what’s happening and a way through it.You’ll get monthly video lessons with a guided companion to help you apply the work, live coaching for real time support, and weekly meditations and journal prompts to rebuild confidence and make decisions without panic.Become a paid member to access Solid Ground, stop misdiagnosing yourself as broken, and start moving again.Journal PromptsHere are 3 journal prompts for Solid Ground members. Use these to spot the learning methods that actually work for you so you can close a skills gap without burning extra energy.

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit moonshotmentor.substack.comYou got the interview. Yay.You prepared. Well done.You had great rapport with the hiring manager. Love that.You left thinking, “That went really well.”You send your thank you email. You tell them you felt energized by the conversation, you’re excited about the opportunity, and you’d love to be considered. You add the classic closer: let me know if you need anything else.Then crickets. What the heck happened?We don’t have a crystal ball, but a common place things go sideways is the thank you note.The Thank You Note Is Your Second InterviewThe hiring process is not a dinner party. Managers are trying to make a call with imperfect information. They’re trying to reduce risk and picture who will actually deliver once the role is real.A generic thank you won’t hurt you. It just won’t help you.So here’s what you gotta do. Put as much energy into your thank you email as you did to prep for the interview. The best follow up isn’t the one that repeats your enthusiasm. It’s the one that adds clarity.Reference a specific question that came up in the interview. Offer additional thoughts on how you’d approach it. Keep it short, keep it practical.You’re no longer asking to be chosen. You’re showing what it would feel like to work with you.How to Write the Follow Up That Helps Them DecideLet’s name what we’re doing here. A high signal thank you email is a short follow up that does two things at once: it shows appreciation, and it adds useful information.Pick up one thread from the interview and pull it a little further. One specific question. One challenge they mentioned. One priority they hinted at. You’re basically saying, I’ve been thinking about what you shared, and here’s how I’d start.Let’s unpack the thank you note without overthinking it.Right after the interview, open a notes app or grab a piece of paper and do a quick download. What did the two of you actually talk about? Most interviews have a few repeating themes:* A problem they need solved* A process that’s not working* A goal they’re trying to hit* A handoff that keeps breaking* A relationship they need managed betterYour job is to pick one. Then write your thank you email around that thread:* One line of appreciation that feels specific* One line naming what you heard as the challenge* Two or three lines with practical thoughts on how you’d approach itThat’s it.If you want to go one step further, you can add a simple attachment. A one page outline. A short list. A rough sequence of steps. Something skimmable that shows your thinking without trying to do free labor.Because the point is not to prove you can do everything. It’s to make it easier for them to picture you doing the job.That Time I Blew the Thank You NoteLet me tell you what I mean with a real example.Several years ago, before I fully pivoted into coaching and speaking, I interviewed for a deep-pocketed entertainment start up. I was a few interviews in when I finally met with the head honcho. During our meeting, she asked me what I would do in the first ninety days in the role?Well, I hadn’t prepared for that question. Most of the time, I interviewed with people who understood what the role required. But she was new to the industry so it was a legit question. But I bumbled it.And here’s where I wish I could time travel. I sent a thank you email that did what most thank you emails do. It expressed appreciation. It said I was excited. It closed with: let me know if you need any references.🤦🏽‍♀️What it didn’t do was pick up the thread she handed me. That ninety day question was the thread. The follow up was my chance to course correct: to be clear, succinct and specific about how I would approach the work.That would have done two things. It would have answered the question I fumbled. And it would have made it easier for her to picture me doing the job.I’ve since heard versions of this from HR leaders too. The follow up that moves the needle is rarely the warmest one. It’s the clearest one.Bottom LineIf you want your thank you email to matter, it has to do more than be polite. It has to be useful. Reference something real from the conversation and add a small piece of clarity. You are not trying to prove you are perfect. You are helping them feel more confident about choosing you.If someone came to mind while you were reading this—please send it their way. You never know the impact a well-timed message can have.Related Content* Five Reasons You May Be Stuck* Are Smart Career Moves Hiding In Plain Sight?* How Can You Stay Calm Under Stress?Longing To Feel Lighter?Professional heartbreak can leave you spinning. You replay what happened, question your judgment, get stuck in indecision, and worry you’ll never get your mojo back.Solid Ground is the paid member program inside the Moonshot Mentor Substack community that helps you move from spinning to forward motion.Paid members tell me they feel less weighed down. Empowered. Relaxed for the first time in a long time. Here’s the thing. It’s not because they got a pep talk. It’s because they finally got an accurate explanation for what’s happening and a way through it.You’ll get monthly video lessons with a guided companion to help you apply the work, live coaching for real time support, and weekly meditations and journal prompts to rebuild confidence and make decisions without panic.Become a paid member to access Solid Ground, stop misdiagnosing yourself as broken, and start moving again.Journal PromptsHere are 5 journal prompts for paid Moonshot Mentor members. Use these to upgrade your post interview follow up so your thank you note adds clarity and makes it easier for them to picture you doing the job.

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit moonshotmentor.substack.comWhat if the reason you’re not getting what you want at work has nothing to do with your talent and effort? What if it has everything to do with where and how your actual workspace is set up?Maybe you want more money. More growth. More work-life balance. More freedom. More stability. More belonging. More meaning.Most people try to close that gap by doing more. More special projects to prove your worth. More networking to meet the “right” people. More closing of the skill gaps to remain relevant. More soul searching to figure out “what the heck am I doing?”Well, what if the issue is that your literal environment is stagnant and needs an upgrade? Welcome to the ancient Chinese wisdom and practice of feng shui: arranging space to direct energy toward specific outcomes.What Is Feng Shui, Really?Feng shui means “wind” and “water.” Movement and flow.At the center of feng shui is the concept of chi.Chi is life force energy. Think of it as the vibe moving through you and everything around you.In feng shui, chi either flows or it stagnates. When chi flows, opportunities circulate. When chi stagnates, things stall.This isn’t just mystical language. This practice has been around for thousands of years and is widely used today by everyone from interior designers to architects to entrepreneurs.How I Used Feng ShuiAfter it became clear in 2020 that working from home was not going to be a two week thing, I applied simple feng shui principles to my home office since it was no longer temporary. I saw my space declutter and my mind had a kind of spring-cleaning. From there, I made a decision to pivot out of my long career in the entertainment industry into being a full time career strategist and grief coach.Here’s the thing: Your environment shapes your nervous system. Your nervous system shapes your decisions. Your decisions shape your career.From an energetic lens, chi attracts what you circulate.If your space feels heavy, cramped, chaotic, or stale, that is the frequency you’re reinforcing every day.What Stagnation Looks LikePeople talk about how their careers have “stalled out” or “plateaued,” which is another way to say stagnant. Or there’s a general sense of malaise, it’s all fine, I don’t want to rock the boat, I’m lucky to have a job in this economy. Or there’s a real sense of fear and anxiety, what if this is it?Before you go deeper into that rabbit hole, consider that your environment may be under-supporting you.Here’s the part most people miss. Stagnation is not just a feeling. It has a physical footprint. It shows up in what’s around you, what you keep postponing, and what your eyes have gotten used to skipping over.Stagnation shows up as: • Piles you keep meaning to sort • Objects tied to roles you’ve outgrown • Broken items you’ve “learned to live with” • A workspace that feels dim, cramped, or forgottenIf you want to attract more money, more visibility, more recognition, more stability, clear what isn’t moving.Energy needs circulation before it can compound.Three Feng Shui Shifts to Move Career EnergyWhile I’m not a feng shui expert, I’ve tried these three feng shui shifts when I was pivoting and leveling up and they worked really well for me.1. Remove One Stagnant Object: Choose one item in your workspace that represents:• A job you resent• A rejection you’re holding• An identity you’ve outgrown• Something broken you’ve ignoredGet rid of it. Stagnant objects hold stagnant chi.One of the objects I removed was a lame ring light I bought for the endless zoom meetings I’ve been on since 2020. I wanted to keep up appearances while I watched the entertainment industry stall out, in an attempt to look like I was weathering it fine. Once I removed it, I felt more like me and that gave me confidence to make some hard decisions.Psychologically, stagnant objects create identity friction. Energetically, they trap movement.Clearing stagnant objects creates space for fresh circulation. And honestly, sometimes the “stagnant object” isn’t a thing. It’s a professional relationship that’s run its course. Not in a vicious, mean way. More like an honest assessment that you may have outgrown each other.I had an actor client who parted ways with their agent and booked more jobs after that, without a new agent. They felt freer to pursue opportunities the former agent never went after on their behalf.2. Activate Your Money FlowIf you’re trying to attract more money but your environment signals neglect, there’s a mismatch. Take a look at the space where you spend most of your time working. Let’s say it’s a desk.When you’re seated, the far-left corner represents wealth and self-worth. Place something living there. A small plant is ideal. Living things grow slowly and steadily. They require attention. They reflect investment.In feng shui terms, you’re signaling that money is welcome to grow here, and that you have the capacity to tend what you earn.In addition to a lot of fancy MBA techniques I use to figure out how to earn more money like tracking ROI and KPIs, SEO optimization, and paying attention to funnel metrics, I do have a small plant on my desk.While I can’t say for certain that the financial success of my coaching business is correlated to the Cyclamen plant, I feel happy when the flowers are blooming. When I’m happy, I have the energy to do the sales things I need to do to feed my company.3. Use a Mirror to Expand Stuck EnergyIn feng shui, mirrors are used to redirect and expand chi. They bounce light. They create the illusion of space. They shift the flow without requiring structural change.My client Jess was in the same role for five years and literally felt boxed in by cubicles and a lack of opportunity for advancement. So using feng shui, she placed an art deco mirror that belonged to her grandmother on her desk to gather good energy. The mirror was from the 1930s and it reminded Jess of just how strong and brave her grandma was, and it gave her a little more courage. She placed the mirror where it could capture light from a window and send it back into her workspace.In what some might call a fluke, her boss’ boss noticed it, asked about it, and they ended up talking about feng shui. Turns out he dabbled in it too. He was intrigued not just by the mirror, but by why Jess brought it in.While no magic promotion came about to alleviate her being in the same role for years, he did assign her a handful of special projects over the next six months that gave her two significant wins and more visibility. She was able to use that to revamp her resume and found a great job outside the company and left with his blessing and endorsement.That mirror was not for decoration. It was an energetic amplifier.When chi hits a wall, it stops. When chi hits a mirror, it moves.One rule. Don’t aim it at clutter. Mirrors expand what they reflect. Reflect light, order, and something that feels like the version of you you’re becoming.What to NoticeFeng shui is a rich opportunity to look at your environment and how it affects your state of mind and your well-being. Remember, your environment shapes your nervous system. Your nervous system shapes your decisions. Your decisions shape your career.So after you make one shift, observe. Do you feel clearer? Less irritated? More decisive?Energy shifts are subtle before they’re obvious.What we’re doing here is not passive, waiting for feng shui “magic” to get you more money, growth, balance, freedom, stability, belonging and meaning.It’s about developing a practice to be more aligned so that energy flows freely.Want To Go Deeper?If you’re as excited and intrigued as I am about feng shui and have questions and comments, I got you. On Thursday, March 12 at 12pm PST, I’m hosting a live conversation with feng shui expert Dorena Kohrs about how to apply these principles intentionally to your work life.We’ll talk about what “chi attracts” actually means in real life, and how to get things moving again. We’ll cover what to tweak when your career feels stalled, even if you’re doing everything “right.” And we’ll share practical shifts you can make without a perfect office or a big budget.If you’ve done the mindset work and the strategy work and something still feels blocked, this conversation is for you. Mark your calendars and bring your questions or submit them here!If someone came to mind while you were reading this—please send it their way. You never know the impact a well-timed message can have.Related Content* Five Reasons You May Be Stuck* Are Smart Career Moves Hiding In Plain Sight?* How Can You Stay Calm Under Stress?Longing To Feel Lighter?Professional heartbreak can leave you spinning. You replay what happened, question your judgment, get stuck in indecision, and worry you’ll never get your mojo back.Solid Ground is the paid member program inside the Moonshot Mentor Substack community that helps you move from spinning to forward motion.Paid members tell me they feel less weighed down. Empowered. Relaxed for the first time in a long time. Here’s the thing. It’s not because they got a pep talk. It’s because they finally got an accurate explanation for what’s happening and a way through it.You’ll get monthly video lessons with a guided companion to help you apply the work, live coaching for real time support, and weekly meditations and journal prompts to rebuild confidence and make decisions without panic.Become a paid member to access Solid Ground, stop misdiagnosing yourself as broken, and start moving again.Journal PromptsHere are 6 journal prompts for paid Moonshot Mentor members. These will help you get clear on what you want at work and what kind of environment would actually support it.

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit moonshotmentor.substack.comThere’s a moment that hits a lot of people right after a promotion or a new role.You have the new title. The bigger scope. The visibility.And then your brain goes: who do you think you are?If that’s happening to you, I want to offer one reframe that changes the whole experience.Imposter syndrome is not proof you’re unqualified. It’s what doubt sounds like when your courage puts you in a bigger room.Why This Shows Up Right When Things Are Going WellMost people think the goal is to eliminate doubt.But doubt is a normal response to new conditions. New team dynamics. New expectations. New exposure. New stakes.Your nervous system is doing its job. It’s scanning for risk. It’s trying to protect you from being judged, getting it wrong, or being seen as inexperienced.The problem is the interpretation.When doubt shows up, we often treat it like a capability report card. Instead of what it actually is: you adjusting to new conditions.The Five Common Flavors Of Imposter SyndromeImposter syndrome shows up in different ways, and sometimes we rotate through a few depending on the season. You might recognize yourself in one of these:* The Perfectionist: If it is not flawless, it does not count.* The Soloist: If I need help, I do not belong here.* The Superhuman: If I’m not excelling in every lane, I’m failing.* The Expert: If I don’t know everything, I shouldn’t be here.* The Natural Genius: If it’s not easy, maybe I’m not built for this.Notice what these have in common. They all turn growth into danger.Two Tools That Help, FastHere are two approaches I use with clients because they work without requiring you to become a different person.Tool 1: Hold two conflicting feelings at the same time. You can feel nervous and ready enough. You can feel exposed and still be the right person for the job. The goal isn’t to erase the doubt. It’s to make enough space to act with courage.Try this sentence: I can feel unsure and still lead well. That’s not a mantra. It’s a leadership skill. Senior roles involve incomplete information, messy tradeoffs, and decisions that can’t be validated in advance.Tool 2: Change the thought, change the feeling. Imposter syndrome thrives on vague thoughts that sound true because they feel intense. The antidote is precision. Here’s an example. You get the promotion and you think: “I’m not ready.” Now ask yourself: Ready for what, exactly? What’s the actual requirement in this moment? Most likely it’s something you know how to do or is in your grasp. And if it’s not, you wouldn’t have gotten promoted if you didn’t know how to solve a problem. Then rewrite the thought into something that’s truthful that you can act from.Try one of these:* I’m in the learning curve phase of this role.* I don’t need to know everything to be effective. I need to know what matters most.* I can figure this out as I go.* Accuracy calms the system. Vague drama ramps it up. And when you’re calmer, you make better decisions.A Quick Case StudyLinda had just landed her first C suite role as Chief Creative Officer. Big moment. Big visibility.And then week one happened.Seventeen people wanted her feedback. Seventeen. Meanwhile, she hadn’t even had time to read all the briefs, let alone form thoughtful opinions. Her brain did what brains do in new conditions. It turned a workload that would overwhelm anyone into proof she was an imposter.I’m behind. Maybe I don’t have what it takes.Linda’s imposter flavor was the Soloist. The voice that says, “If I need help, I shouldn’t be here.”So we used Tool 1. We practiced holding two truths at the same time: I’m leading this and I can ask for help. Then we added one simple thought that brought her back to earth: I’m not the first Chief Creative Officer in the history of media.Her next move was small, but it was a turning point. She reached out to a former boss and asked, “How did you handle the workload in your first month?”The workload didn’t disappear. But the spiral did. She stopped treating uncertainty like a red flag and started treating it like part of the job.Bottom LineConfidence is not the price of entry for leadership. Courage is.Doubt is not a verdict. It’s information about the moment you are in.Let evidence steer your decision, not the story in your head.If someone came to mind while you were reading this—please send it their way. You never know the impact a well-timed message can have.Related Content* How To Turn Powerful Failures Into Powerful Breakthroughs* The 3 Things To Do After You Lose Your Job* Why Does My Career Setback Still Bother Me?Longing To Feel Lighter?Professional heartbreak can leave you spinning. You replay what happened, question your judgment, get stuck in indecision, and worry you’ll never get your mojo back.Solid Ground is the paid member program inside the Moonshot Mentor Substack community that helps you move from spinning to forward motion.Paid members tell me they feel less weighed down. Empowered. Relaxed for the first time in a long time. Here’s the thing. It’s not because they got a pep talk. It’s because they finally got an accurate explanation for what’s happening and a way through it.You’ll get monthly video lessons with a guided companion to help you apply the work, live coaching for real time support, and weekly meditations and journal prompts to rebuild confidence and make decisions without panic.Become a paid member to access Solid Ground, stop misdiagnosing yourself as broken, and start moving again.Journal PromptsHere are 3 journal prompts for paid Moonshot Mentor members. Use these to separate what you’re feeling from what is actually true, so you can lead from clarity instead of self interrogation.

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit moonshotmentor.substack.comMental health is a hot topic these days - as it should be! According to the World Health Organization anxiety disorders are the most common mental disorder with approximately 4% of the world’s population affected. And stress is right there on its heels. According to the American Institute of Stress, around 35% of the U.S. population is feeling stressed. I get it! But what many people don’t get is that stress and anxiety are not the same thing. They are frequently lumped together which impacts your ability to deal with them. It’s like applying a band-aid to every ouch - except some ouches are a skinned knee and some are a broken heart. Instead, they need very different approaches. In this week’s blog, I take a deep dive into the distinctions between stress and anxiety and share coping mechanisms that have helped me. 

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit moonshotmentor.substack.comCareer grief is not just an emotional experience. It’s a physiological one.Most of us expect grief to look like tears, sadness, maybe anger. But a lot of the time, grief shows up as: “What is wrong with me lately?”For me, it’s looked like this.I wore my pants inside out and didn’t realize until I was already out in the world.I left the faucet on.I ate an entire pizza by myself, and not because I was celebrating. Because I was trying to feel something other than what I was feeling.In those moments, I wasn’t thinking: “I’m grieving.” I was thinking: “I’m losing it.”What was really happening:. I was experiencing a normal brain and body response to loss.How Grief Shows UpGrief is the natural response to any kind of loss. Not just death. Any loss. A job. A role. A team. A dream. A sense of status. A version of your future you were counting on.When grief goes unnamed and unmourned, your brain often can’t organize the experience. It can’t file it neatly because it keeps trying to treat the loss like a problem you should solve, not something you need to metabolize.So your body starts speaking up.That can look like exhaustion. Headaches. Insomnia. Appetite swings. Stomach issues. Muscles that feel tight, wired, and braced.If the physical stuff is not loud enough, grief can also show up cognitively. Trouble concentrating. Forgetfulness. Confusion. Rumination. Intrusive thoughts. That looping reel you can’t shut off.And then it shows up in behavior. Withdrawing from others, losing interest in things that once brought joy, avoiding certain places or people, or self-medicating just to get through the day.None of this means you’re broken. It means something inside you is trying to adapt to what has changed.The Real Problem Is Not The “Stupid” MomentsThe problem is that you’re doing “stupid” things and you’re making them mean something about your character.You start narrating it like this. I’m off my game. I’m losing my edge. I’m incapable.And that story adds a second layer of pain. Shame.That’s the part I want to interrupt.Because when you look at those symptoms at face value, they can seem random. But they’re not random. They’re signals. They point to something deeper. Unrecognized grief.Why Career Grief Can Feel Like an Existential CrisisCareer grief rocks more than your schedule and bank account. It rattles your psyche.Because work is rarely just work in our culture. It’s identity. It’s belonging. It’s validation. It’s structure. It’s the place we get reflected back to ourselves.So when work breaks, it can feel like you break.That’s why career grief can border on an existential crisis. It disrupts your sense of purpose, belonging, and identity.And when grief goes unacknowledged, the price is steep. You lose resilience. Not because you’re weak, but because your system is carrying a load it was never meant to carry alone.The Solution Is Compassion For The Non Emotional Parts Of GriefHere’s what I’m asking of you. Instead of treating your symptoms like personal failures, treat them like information.Compassion is not letting yourself off the hook. It’s seeing clearly what’s happening so you can respond with wisdom instead of self attack.Here are a few ways to practice that, especially if you’re in a season where you can’t stop everything and “process your feelings”.1. Name the loss, even if it feels small. Try a simple sentence. Something changed. Something ended. Something didn’t happen. You’re not trying to make it bigger than it is. You’re trying to make it real.2. Replace the character story with a body story. Instead of “I’m being an idiot,” try: My brain is overloaded. My nervous system is on alert. My body is asking for recovery. That one change can lower shame fast.3. Build a tiny relief ritual. Not a life overhaul. A small, repeatable cue that tells your system: I’m paying attention. A short walk without your phone. A hot shower with the lights low. Ten minutes lying on the floor with one hand on your chest. A meal that is not eaten standing up. It’s not glamorous. It’s effective.4. Reduce decisions for a week. Grief burns energy. Decision making burns energy. Stack them together and you start leaving faucets on. Choose two or three defaults for the week. Default breakfast. Default outfit. Default work start and stop time. You’re not becoming predictable. You’re becoming resourced.5. Tell one safe person the truth. Not the whole story. Just a true sentence. I’ve been more affected than I expected. My focus has been off. I’m dealing with more loss than I’ve named. Grief becomes more workable when it has language and witness.If you lead a team, this matters too. When a team goes through layoffs, reorganizations, leadership changes, or public setbacks, unprocessed loss doesn’t vanish. It goes underground.And underground grief tends to reappear as: More conflict over small things. More risk aversion. More second guessing. Lower trust. Lower energy.Leaders don’t have to turn the workplace into group therapy to address this. But they do need to name what changed and what it cost, at least in human terms.If you’re noticing strange mistakes, low morale, or unusually thin patience on your team, consider this question: What loss are we acting out that we have not acknowledged?Bottom LineIf you’ve been making “weird” mistakes, craving comfort food, forgetting simple things, or feeling uncharacteristically foggy, don’t rush to self judgment.Consider the more accurate explanation. Your body might be grieving.Career grief is not only emotional. It’s physiological. It shows up in your focus, your appetite, your sleep, your memory, and your ability to self regulate.The move is not to shame yourself into functioning. The move is to meet the symptoms with compassion, name what’s been lost, and give your system a little more care than you think it deserves.If you want support applying this to your own situation, I have three 1:1 coaching packages available right now. Book a consult to see if we’re a match.If someone came to mind while you were reading this—please send it their way. You never know the impact a well-timed message can have.Related Content* How To Turn Powerful Failures Into Powerful Breakthroughs* The 3 Things To Do After You Lose Your Job* Why Does My Career Setback Still Bother Me?Longing To Feel Lighter?Professional heartbreak can leave you spinning. You replay what happened, question your judgment, get stuck in indecision, and worry you’ll never get your mojo back.Solid Ground is the paid member program inside the Moonshot Mentor Substack community that helps you move from spinning to forward motion.Paid members tell me they feel less weighed down. Empowered. Relaxed for the first time in a long time. Here’s the thing. It’s not because they got a pep talk. It’s because they finally got an accurate explanation for what’s happening and a way through it.You’ll get monthly video lessons with a guided companion to help you apply the work, live coaching for real time support, and weekly meditations and journal prompts to rebuild confidence and make decisions without panic.Become a paid member to access Solid Ground, stop misdiagnosing yourself as broken, and start moving again.Journal PromptsHere are 5 journal prompts for Solid Ground members. Use these to connect the dots between what your body is doing and what your life has been carrying.

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit moonshotmentor.substack.comIf your career is shifting, your money story gets a vote in every decision you make. And it’s not because you’re bad at math or you “should have planned better.”It gets a vote because money is not just money. Money touches safety. Options. Identity. What you can say yes to. What you have to say no to. And when work gets uncertain, money stops being background noise. It walks right up to the microphone and says, “Hello, hello? Is this thing on?”I learned this the hard way.The first time my unspoken money story showed up was in my early twenties, when I was transitioning jobs and going through a divorce. At the time, I was (barely) earning more than my husband who was a middle school teacher. When we separated, he asked for financial support.I felt guilty about the state of our marriage, so I agreed. And then guilt met fear, and I made a decision I could not sustain. I racked up a lot of credit card debt trying to keep everything looking fine.It got so bad I had to cut myself off from my credit cards and use the envelope system. Actual cash in actual envelopes. Gas. Food. Utilities. Car repair. There were no envelopes for going out, clothing, or self care.All I could hear in my head was: “There isn’t enough. There will never be enough.”That sentence didn’t come out of nowhere. It was inherited.My dad grew up during the Great Depression. My mom lived in poverty in Japan during World War II. Not having enough was a true, lived experience for them. I’ve been fortunate to have enough, but that generational trauma is in me.This is why I’m writing about money in a post about career strategy.Because during a setback, a pivot, or a dry spell between gigs, your money story is going to cast a vote. It will influence what work you take. How quickly you panic. Whether you avoid looking at your accounts. Whether you undercharge. Whether you overgive. Whether you freeze.You do not have to shame yourself for that. You do have to notice it.Your Money StoryYour money story is the relationship you have with money. It’s what money represents to you. What it proves. What it threatens. What it feels like.For some people, money equals safety. For others, it equals freedom. For others, it equals worth.And for a lot of high achieving people, especially in unpredictable industries, money becomes evidence. Evidence that you’re doing it right. Evidence that you’re still viable. Evidence that you can relax.That is a lot to ask of money.When work gets shaky, money anxiety gets loud. And money anxiety tends to do two things at once.First, it triggers your nervous system into threat mode.Second, it distorts perception, so those panicked thoughts start masquerading as reality.So before we “do the numbers,” I want to offer something that sounds simple, but changes everything.Regulate your nervous system first, then look at the truth.Regulate First, Before All ElseMy client “April” came to see me in full blown panic. It was early 2024. As an actress and writer, she had already been hit hard by the COVID years, then the 2023 strikes happened. Her nervous system was a wreck and she was in constant panic and she couldn’t “see clearly.”Before we opened a spreadsheet, we worked with her body. Not because breathwork pays rent. But because you cannot make a clean career decision when your system is convinced you’re in danger.Here are a few regulation tools we used. They’re practical. You can do them in your car. You can do them before you open your banking app. You can do them when you feel that familiar drop in your stomach.Nervous System Regulation Tools* Extended exhale breathing. How to do it: Inhale for 4. Exhale for 6 or 8. Do 6 to 10 rounds.* Why it works: Longer exhales tend to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps your body settle so your mind can think.* EFT Tapping. How to do it: Tap gently on points like the side of the hand, eyebrow, side of the eye, and collarbone while you say a simple two part sentence. The first part names what you’re feeling or noticing. The second part adds a cue of safety, choice, or self support. You’re not trying to talk yourself out of the feeling. You’re reminding your body you can stay here with it. Example: “Even though my money story is loud right now, I’m the one who gets to choose.”* Why it works: Pairing steady tapping with naming what’s true can lower intensity and help your nervous system shift out of alarm, so you can access clarity and make decisions without rushing.* Deep pressure touch. How to do it: Use a weighted blanket, drape something heavy over your shoulders, or press a firm pillow to your chest for 2 to 5 minutes.* Why it works: Deep pressure can be calming because it gives your body a clear sense of containment.* Wall support. How to do it: Stand with your back against a wall. Feet grounded. One hand on your chest, one on your belly. Stay for 60 to 90 seconds.* Why it works: Your body gets a felt sense of support. That matters when everything feels uncertain.These are not magic tricks. They are proven techniques. A way of telling your body, we are safe enough to look.Because that is the real goal. Safe enough to look. Safe enough to get honest. Safe enough to make a decision that’s not driven by panic.And once you can do that, you can meet your money story directly.How To Find Your Money StoryWhen money feels tense, a lot of people do one of two things. They obsess, spiraling into worst case scenarios. Or they avoid, hoping the problem will magically get quieter.This exercise is a third option.It slows everything down. It gives you distance from the fear. It turns the swirl into language. And when something becomes language, you can work with it. I learned this tool from my first coach, Mona Miller (RIP), and I still use it today because it is highly effective at getting underneath the noise quickly.Here’s the writing prompt with the goal to not edit. Just write what comes up and don’t judge it.Dear Money,When I look at you, I see…When I look at you, I feel…When I look at you, I think…When I look at you, I believe…When I look at you, I act like…Signed, [Your Name]Then reverse it and make the letter from Money to you.Dear [Your Name],When I look at you, I see…When I look at you, I feel…When I look at you, I think…When I look at you, I believe…When I look at you, I act like…Signed, MoneyWhat we’re looking for are themes or patterns.For April, money was proof. Proof she was successful. Proof she was making the right choices. Proof she was still allowed to belong. So every dip in income felt like a personal failure.Once she saw that, she had leverage. Because now her money story was not running the meeting in secret.Career Strategy Comes Back When You Name What You Are ProtectingThis is the part that pulls everything together.When your money story gets loud, it starts pushing you toward choices that can step on your values. So we named April’s values, not as inspiration, but as a decision filter.April told me her values included achievement, freedom, love, and travel.Here’s what we noticed.Achievement turned into a scoreboard. Money became the proof she was doing it right, so she felt pressure to take anything immediately, even if it pulled her away from her dreams.Freedom got replaced with avoidance. She stopped looking at her numbers because she assumed they would trap her, which kept her trapped.Love turned into overgiving. She said yes to commitments she could not afford because disappointing people felt more dangerous than debt.Travel became a symbol of “I’m still okay.” If she couldn’t afford it, she felt like she was failing, so she swung between denial and deprivation.When she could see that pattern, she could interrupt it.First she regulated.Then she returned to her values.Then she looked at the numbers without spiraling.And when she did, she discovered she had more runway than she thought. Not infinite runway. But enough runway to choose with intention so she chose to hold off on travel so she could have more time to find a job that was a match for her.This is what I mean when I say your money story gets a vote. It will show up in the room. But it doesn’t have to run the meeting.Where We Go From HereAt this point, if you’re thinking, okay, but I still have a hundred questions, that makes sense. Some of them might be emotional. Some of them might be very practical. What do I cut? How do I plan when income is inconsistent? What do I do first after a layoff?So I invited my friend and money mentor, Katy Chen Mazzara, to join me for a Substack Live conversation. Katy is a certified trauma-informed financial wellness coach who pivoted out of entertainment pre pandemic. She helps creative entrepreneurs and freelancers break free from scarcity, release traumas and fears, and build lasting financial freedom. With deep compassion and bold clarity, Katy empowers clients to align their finances with their truth, purpose, and power. She’s willing to share what helped her make that pivot, and she’ll answer your money questions.Quick note: This conversation is educational and not financial advice. For guidance specific to your situation, talk with a qualified financial professional.Join us Thursday, February 12, 2026 at 1:00 pm PST.Bottom lineIf your career is shifting, your money story gets a vote in every decision you make.Regulate first, so you can see clearly. Name the story that’s hogging the spotlight. Reconnect to what you’re trying to protect.Because career strategy is not just planning. It’s choosing well, even when your system wants to panic.If someone came to mind while you were reading this—please send it their way. You never know the impact a well-timed message can have.Related Content* How Do You Rewrite Your Career Story?* How To Tame Your Inner Critic* Embracing Hard Truths By Hugging The BearPerks for Paid MembersMoonshot Mentor is for people and teams moving through professional change that hits harder than expected. Get short monthly video lessons on career grief, plus a simple guide that helps you turn insight into your next right step, live monthly coaching to work through what’s happening in real time, and weekly meditations and journal prompts to steady yourself and move forward with clarity.Journal PromptsHere are 4 journal prompts for paid Moonshot Mentor members. These are here to help you name your money story, calm the noise, and make your next career move from truth instead of threat.

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit moonshotmentor.substack.comMy birthday is this Wednesday.I usually like to fly under the radar but this year I’m trying something new. Instead of hiding out feeling self-conscious about my warped relationship with age and time, I’m choosing to go on a mission to spread joy along with cool things I’ve been learning.Take a full watch of this YouTube video that made me laugh so hard I cried. And then I watched it a second time and laughed so hard I cried. Then I shared it with my youngest daughter and we laughed and (happy) cried together. Consider it a gift from me to you!It’s a cover of the Bee Gees’ song “How Deep Is Your Love” by a South African musical sibling trio called Biko’s Manna: Biko is the eldest sister and lead singer, Manna is the guitar playing brother, and Mfundo is the youngest brother who at the time the video was made was still figuring out his musical north star.Their musicianship is locked in. Biko’s voice is unreal, Manna’s finger work is magic, and their harmonies are gorgeous. They started out as street performers in Johannesburg and have performed on shows like America’s Got Talent.As you’re watching, I imagine you being swept away with the joy of Biko and Manna’s interpretation of the song, just like me. And then, in the background, Mfundo glides into frame.I won’t spoil it. Just watch. But I will tell you that there are flippers, a helmet, backbends and more.What got me was the contrast. Biko and Manna are fully in the song. And then this tiny chaos comet is doing his own one man show behind them.And this is where the joy turns into a fabulous lesson about strategy.It’s great to be in flow, but not at the expense of completely ignoring your surroundings.For years, I was so uber focused on supporting clients one to one, and doing it well, that I didn’t fully clock what was happening in my background. Messages asking if I had any in person retreats coming up. Whether there was a group where people could take the lessons of the blog into real life. Whether there was a monthly call where we could workshop what folx were navigating in real time. Whether there was a place that made the lessons feel less theoretical.People were asking me for more community.Ask Me Anything (AMA) Live🗓️ Thursday, Feb 12 at 1:00pm PST here on Substack.Bring questions from this week’s post, your current career strategy puzzle, or whatever you’re navigating right now. I’ll help you sort signal from noise and find your next right step.How I Course CorrectedLast year, when I finally noticed what was happening in the background, I piloted a career grief group. It was terrific, but what I wasn’t prepared for was the request to keep going. People wanted to stay connected and not just let it be a one and done experience.That’s what inspired me to create an ongoing group I’m calling Solid Ground.Think of it like your favorite farmers market. Come as you are. Drop in when you need, run into familiar faces, pick up something useful, and leave feeling lighter and clearer.Solid Ground is a monthly space for anyone navigating career change that hits harder than expected.The heart of the group is simple. When work changes, you need more than a plan. You need support that’s emotional and practical, because real change asks for both.Each month, I send a short video lesson on career grief and a worksheet on the third Wednesday. Then we come together for live coaching, typically on the fourth Thursday, so you can bring what’s coming up for you and get traction in real time. (You don’t have to remember all these deets - I send reminders!)Solid Ground is included with your paid Moonshot Mentor membership. You can show up live to the coaching calls, catch the replay, or use the lesson and the worksheet whenever you need them.How To Look Up Without Losing Your FlowWhether you join Solid Ground or not, the point here is that when you’re laser focused, you miss cues that could change what you’re doing in the moment.The trick is not to stop focusing. Focus is a superpower.The trick is to add a wide angle check in that’s brief, scheduled, and non dramatic. It gives you a moment to look up, notice what’s happening in the background, and make small course corrections that align with your greater goals.Once every three months, set a 30 minute appointment with yourself and answer these questions.* What is my current “song”? Name the thing you are most focused on right now. A role. A project. A revenue goal. A skill you’re building. A version of your life you’re trying to create.* What’s happening in the background? List the signals you’ve been glanced at, but haven’t paid close attention to. Invitations. Patterns in your energy. A recurring idea. Feedback that keeps popping up.* Where has my focus tipped into rigidity? This is often where we keep pushing even though the data is changing.If you lead a team, add one more question. What are people not saying out loud, but acting out in the background? Think less initiative, more caution, quieter meetings, slower decisions. That’s usually where culture is speaking.This is the part I missed in my own work for a long time. I was heads down in one to one client success and not noticing that the wider signal was pointing toward greater community along with all the great practical wisdom. People want a place to stay connected through change, not just power through it alone.Bottom LineThat Biko’s Manna video delights me because it is so human. Two people are fully in the song and life is still happening behind them.That’s career strategy too. You need the ability to lock in. You also need the ability to look around you. Because sometimes the thing that changes your strategy is not another idea. It’s what’s been trying to get your attention.If you’re in a season where work has changed and you can feel yourself getting tunnel vision, Solid Ground is a place to process what’s real and figure out what’s next with support that’s both emotional and practical. You can find the details here. Birthday request. Watch the video. Have the laugh. Then take ten minutes to look up and see what you’ve been missing.If someone came to mind while you were reading this—please send it their way. You never know the impact a well-timed message can have.Related Content* How Do You Rewrite Your Career Story? ✍️* Is Your Career Where You Want It? 🚀* How to use Deadlines to Get to Excellence 🌟Perks for Paid MembersMoonshot Mentor is for people and teams moving through professional change that hits harder than expected. Get short monthly video lessons on career grief, plus a simple guide that helps you turn insight into your next right step, live monthly coaching to work through what’s happening in real time, and weekly meditations and journal prompts to steady yourself and move forward with clarity.Journal PromptsHere are 3 journal prompts for paid Moonshot Mentor members. Use them to spot what you’re missing in the background.

This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit moonshotmentor.substack.comMost of us think the problem is energy.If we could just get a little more, we’d update the résumé, write the cover letter, follow up with a former colleague, get the certification.But when you keep making promises you don’t keep, the real cost isn’t momentum. It’s self trust.And once self trust takes a hit, your brain and body get conservative with energy. Not to punish you. To protect you.The problem is, that protection can keep you stuck.Here’s what I mean.If you’ve made a lot of plans and you didn’t follow through on them, your brain starts to treat these plans as make-believe. They aren’t real so you don’t have to pay attention to them. It’s your brain trying to stop you from not feeling bad about breaking a promise to yourself.You may not realize this, but disappointment takes energy. Shame takes energy. That internal argument you have with yourself after you don’t do the thing takes energy.Your system tries a different strategy. It reduces the fuel you need to do the thing you know you need to do. So you literally don’t have the energy to fulfill the promise (or the plan) that you made. The reduction of fuel makes starting feel like mud. It’s a way for your system to say: let’s not risk another broken promise and the shame spiral that follows.So here’s how to get your energy back. Stop trying to force motivation. Start rebuilding self trust.The 80 Percent Promise MethodOnly make a promise to yourself that you’re 80 percent confident you can keep. Not 90 percent. Certainly not 100 percent. 80 percent is the sweet spot because it’s doable. And it creates evidence that you can keep a promise which helps your brain realize those promises are real.Here’s how it works.* Make the promise small enough to finish in under ten minutes.Make it a single step. Not a project. Example: “Find the most recent version of my resume in my files.” Not: “Update my resume.”* Identify what might stop you from keeping the promise. Don’t judge. Just be honest. Maybe it’s technology issues. Maybe your kid gets a cold. Maybe you run out of time. Maybe you hit an emotional wall. The point isn’t to fix your personality. The point is to name the friction that might pop up.* Choose an antidote for that obstacle. If the obstacle is time, the antidote might be reprioritizing with the help of an objective friend. If the obstacle is tech, the antidote might be to know exactly who you can call whether it’s a hired hand or your teenager. If the obstacle is interruptions, the antidote might be setting a ten minute boundary and locking the door to your room.* Take the antidote! Then write a permission slip to readjust because life happens. This matters more than it sounds. You’re not failing. You’re adapting to real time issues. Your permission slip can be one sentence: “If my kid gets the flu, I will reset without shaming myself.”* Hard stop after you deliver on your promise. This is where self trust gets rebuilt. You said one thing. You did one thing. Then you stop. You’re proving reliability, not trying to squeeze out productivity.* Reward yourself. Make it simple and real. Give yourself a sticker. Share the win with someone you love. Take a moment to look in the mirror and say thank you. You’re teaching your brain and body that keeping promises to yourself counts.Over time, this does something sneaky and powerful. You start believing in yourself again. And when you believe in yourself, energy shows up. It’s amazing. Paid Member Live Coaching Reminder 😃🗓️ Thursday, Jan 29 at 11:30am PST here on Substack. Bring questions from the January career grief video lesson and worksheet, or show up with whatever you’re navigating right now. Come get unstuck.A quick case study: Richie and the ten minute promiseWhen I met Richie, he kept telling me the same thing: “I know I need to update my resume. I just can’t seem to get myself to do it.”He wasn’t confused about the steps. He was stuck in the loop.The old approach sounded like this: “Tonight I’m going to update my resume.”And then life would happen. The dishwasher imploded, his kid got detention and needed extra attention, his laptop battery died. When these things happened, the next morning, he didn’t just feel behind. He felt angry with himself. Which made updating his resume feel like more proof that he was “lazy.” So he avoided it. And the self trust took another hit.So we tried something different. Not bigger effort. Smaller promises.Here was Richie’s 80 percent promise: “Tomorrow at 10:00 am, I will find the most recent version of my resume in my files.”That’s it. Not update it. Not rewrite it. Just locate it.Then we did the honesty step. What might stop him?For Richie, it was three things. He’d open his laptop and immediately get hijacked by email. He’d start searching for the file, get irritated that he couldn’t find it, and then bail. Or he’d get interrupted and tell himself he’d come back later.So we chose antidotes that matched the real obstacles.Notifications off for ten minutes. A simple search plan: search his email for “resume,” then check downloads, then search his files. And a quick boundary: a ten minute timer, plus a heads up to the people around him that he was unavailable until it went off.Then the permission slip: “If something derails this, I will reset later today without making it mean something bad about me.”When 10:00 am came, he did the one thing. He searched with clarity on what success meant. If he found the resume within ten minutes, great. Hard stop. Reward.If he didn’t find it within ten minutes, he still got to count the win. Because the promise wasn’t “find the resume.” The promise was “search for ten minutes.”At minute ten, he stopped, took a breath, and faced a hard truth: The resume wasn’t findable. Richie needed to start from scratch.That moment could have turned into shame. Instead, we treated it as clarity and made the next 80 percent promise: “Tomorrow at 10:00 am, I will open a blank document and write my last two job titles.”Not build the whole thing. Not format it. Just lay the first brick.Small? Yes.But that’s the point. Richie wasn’t building a resume in one sitting. He was rebuilding trust.And once he started collecting proof that he could keep promises to himself, his energy shifted. Not because his life got easier overnight. Because he stopped treating his own commitments like optional suggestions.That’s what restores momentum. Energy isn’t just physical. It’s trust in motion.Bottom LineIf you’re waiting for energy to show up before you take action, you may be waiting a while. In career transitions, energy comes second. Self trust comes first.When you make big promises and break them, your brain starts treating your plans like make believe. It’s trying to protect you from the emotional cost of another letdown. The problem is that protection shows up as low energy.So don’t push harder. Become believable to yourself again.Try this once in the next 24 hours: make one 80% promise that takes ten minutes, do it, stop, reward the win. That’s the practice.And if you lead a team, zoom out for a second. The same dynamic shows up at work. When commitments keep getting made and broken, trust erodes. Energy drops. Pressure makes it worse.If you’re a senior leader and this feels familiar, I’d love to hear what you’re seeing. I have a few 1:1 coaching spots open right now, and I also work with leaders and teams who want to rebuild trust and follow through after disruption without turning the workplace into a therapy session. If you want to explore what this could look like in your organization, DM me and we’ll set up a time to talk.If someone came to mind while you were reading this—please send it their way. You never know the impact a well-timed message can have.Related Content* Is Uncertainty Blocking Your Career Growth?* How To Bounce Back From Blunders* What’s Really Driving You?Perks for Paid MembersMoonshot Mentor is for people and teams moving through professional change that hits harder than expected. Get short monthly video lessons on career grief, plus a simple guide that helps you turn insight into your next right step, live monthly coaching to work through what’s happening in real time, and weekly meditations and journal prompts to steady yourself and move forward with clarity.Journal PromptsHere are 3 journal prompts for paid Moonshot Mentor members. You can use these to start to rebuild self trust. Remember, we start with small micro steps.