Better Sex

Becoming CliterateDr. Laurie shares the reason behind why she wrote her book, Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters--And How to Get It. As a professor to over 150 students a year, she shares the influence her undergrad students had on this book.Two factors that ultimately influenced her was the massive orgasm gap in men and women, and the loss of clitoral knowledge. Listen as she tackles the miseducation that society is subjected to and uncovers some shocking orgasm statistics you don’t want to miss.Becoming Cliterate seeks to eradicate the notion that intercourse is the ultimate pleasure for women and the way they should orgasm.Dr. Laurie mentions the book as a combination of cultural analysis and self-help as it brings gender equality into relationships.Reasons for the Pleasure GapIt’s not easy to admit that there is a huge gap between men and women’s take on pleasure. Dr. Laurie explains why penetration does not give the same level of satisfaction for both genders. Join in as she discusses the other possible reasons for this gap, including body image issues, cognitive issues and lack of training in sexual communication.We hear how the lack of clitoral knowledge plays a key role in the pleasure gap and how this stems from pornography and misinformation.Closing the GapDr. Laurie believes that there is a need for a sexual revolution in pleasure equality. Tune in to hear where this revolution starts. She emphasizes that just talking can close the gap.Tips for Women Who Have Never Had an OrgasmDr. Laurie's advice if you are one of these women: Masturbate!! Join in to hear her 4 steps for your first orgasm. Get ready to know your body better after this! She reminds us that it is important to get the same kind of stimulation when with your partner too. While this may take some creativity, it is achievable for everyone.Apart from this, Dr. Laurie educates us in having good communication with our partners. How to use “I” statements in communicating your needs and/or wants, and how you can be at ease when talking to your partner about this. She highlights that this is your equal right to pleasure.Tips for Men and the Biggest TakeawayClitoral education is not just for women to understand, it’s definitely one of the things men should also learn about. In this episode, Dr. Laurie also shares a variety of ways on how men can open the topic to their partners and help their partners talk about what they want in sex.Remember, sex is intended to be equally pleasurable.BackgroundLaurie Mintz, PH.D. is an award-winning college professor. She currently teaches the Psychology of Human Sexuality to hundreds of students a year at the University of Florida and has had over 20 years of experience working with private clients on sexual issues.Dr. Mintz has received numerous professional awards and is a Fellow of the American Psychological Association. She has published over 50 research studies, writes the Psychology Today blog and has been quoted in many outlets, including Cosmopolitan, Woman’s Day, Prevention, Women’s Health, Men’s Health, CNN.com, Oprah.com and The Huffington Post.She authored the book, Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters--And How to Get It, with the goal to close the massive orgasm gap between men and women and debunk the misinformation today’s generation gets from media and pornography.Links and How to contact Dr. LaurieWebsite: http://www.drlauriemintz.comGet the book here: https://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Cliterate-Orgasm-Equality-Matters/dp/0062484389Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drlauriemintz/Twitter: https://twitter.com/drlauriemintzFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrLaurieMintz/More info:Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass Get full access to Intimacy with Ease at jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe

The Store: Darling WayIn this episode, Beth talks about how she started and founded the Darling Way after her 22-year marriage ended with a divorce. She shares how her shop started after an awful experience buying a lingerie for herself. Her store’s concept is about embracing the fact that it’s okay to be silly, fun, and excited or just a light-hearted approach to the serious topic of sexy fun.What’s in the Shop?The Darling Way, as Beth describes it, carries everything fun, flirty, frisky, and fetish. From high-end lingeries, to more affordable lingerie, lotions, potions, lubricants, massage oils, candles, scents, pheromone sprays, stimulating creams, gels, vibrations, whips, chains, anything that people can use to have sexy fun. They also offer different kinds of workshops like Flogging Fun for Nice People, and another about oral sex. Tune in to find out more!The Shop ExperienceThis part is all about what customers can expect from going to their store. Beth and her staff — her son and daughter-in-law, go all out to help clients get comfortable in their body by finding something they like. The emphasis is really in creating a fun and memorable experience for each person that comes in. Their promise? If you feel unloved, they will love you until you learn to love yourself!Making the Customers Comfortable Talking About Sex“We are just open.” — Beth’s remark when asked how they make customers feel comfortable talking about sex. Listen as Beth walks us through the importance of allowing people time to adjust and become comfortable talking about things that are uncomfortable. She also tells us a story about a just-married couple who visited their shop on their wedding day.Beth’s MessageThere are a lot of people hesitant to talk about sexy fun — that’s for sure! But for Beth, it is paramount that they take care of their clients no matter how far. She always makes sure that she’s available to attend to her customers’ needs and even offers personal shopping on the phone. One thing she encourages everyone to do is to feel free to laugh, because “it’s okay!” They’re available to help you embrace pleasure without the guilt!Beth’s BookBeth’s new book, Love and Laughter: Sexy (Meaningful) Fun for Everyone is written for women — to help them learn to get comfortable and pay attention to their bodies, show them how they can become good lovers- not for anyone’s sake, but for their own, and the different opportunities to have pure sexy fun.About Beth LieblingBeth Liebling is many things—a former board-certified family lawyer, host of the radio show/podcast Love and Laughter with Beth (ESPN Houston 97.5Fm and Itunes), author of the new book Love and Laughter: Sexy (Meaningful) Fun for Everyone.A mother of five, and a grandmother of one, Beth is the family-forward founder of Darling Way, a sexy luxury boutique in the historic Houston Heights.She has extensive experience speaking publicly, most obviously on her own radio show and on her additional weekly appearance on "The Blitz," both on ESPN Houston Radio 97.5fm. She also leads workshops and discussions regularly in Houston at Darling Way and other venues, has been a speaker at B2B conferences.She broke down unspoken barriers in Dallas when she was invited by BC/BS to speak at their Active Living Expo for Senior Citizens about Passion at any Age.Links and How to contact BethBeth’s shop, Darling Way - https://darlingway.com/Twitter - https://twitter.com/darling_wayInstagram - http://instagram.com/darlingwayboutiqueFacebook - https://www.facebook.com/darlingwayboutiqueBeth’s radio show, Love and Laughter with Beth - https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/love-and-laughter-with-beth/id1234787448?mt=2Beth’s latest book, Love and Laughter: Sexy (Meaningful) Fun for Everyone - https://www.amazon.com/Love-Laughter-Sexy-Meaningful-Everyone-ebook/dp/B078VN3Z8WMore info:Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass Get full access to Intimacy with Ease at jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe

Recovering from people pleasingToday's guest is sharing her story of claiming her story, rewriting her story, figuring out which parts she wants in, and which parts no longer serve her.She says it has been a struggle to understand where her sexual power comes from and to be comfortable standing within that power.She tells the story about her conception and her parents, you know getting pregnant with her and how it was an accident.Basically, they weren't married in a time and place where that wasn't okay, and she ended up sort of internalizing a lot of their bad feelings and she didn't really understand until she was 12. At that time they shared the story with her where some of those feelings were coming from.And she had to rise above the conservative religious background that she was raised in, one that made her feel sex was "taboo" and something to be ashamed of, and really take ownership of her sexuality. And to start to question and evaluate everything about who she is, how she shows up as a woman, what she wants in sex, what she wants in a relationship and really sort through to figure out what she wants to keep.To understand what is authentically her and what is not.She also feels she grew up with the belief that once you have sex with someone, they will lose interest in you. She also tells us about several other interesting "a-ha" moments and revelations along her journey.Anca also tells us about the important work she is doing, helping others to re-write their story into something that is completely authentic.I hope you're going to enjoy the story and get something meaningful from it for yourself and here is my conversation with Anca.p.s. Today's episode is another in my series of personal stories. I am really enjoying these. In fact, I want to invite you if you're listening and you would be open to appearing on the show to share your story. Please get in touch.We can make it Anonymous. Although your voice is heard, or not, depending on your preferences and I am willing to talk to you as an individual or as a couple.But if you've got a transformation in your story, if you've got something that people could learn from that could inspire them, or just give some hope that things can change, I would love to talk to you. So send me an email, change@jessazimmerman.com, get in touch through the podcast, anyway, you can and let's set up a time to talk.Links:Anca - http://ancastefaniaiorgulescu.com/More info:Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass Get full access to Intimacy with Ease at jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe

Polyamory - one version of consensual non-monogamy.There are certainly plenty of people that choose an open relationship of one sort or another. Even though they're committed to each other, but by agreement, they are non-monogamous.Often what we're referring to is people that have been committed and decide to change the arrangement and include other people in one way or another.What is polyamory?So today's topic is specifically polyamory, which is one way of consensual non-monogamy and in general, it's it's sort of considered having more than one committed relationship.It implies sexual involvement, but also emotional involvement with more than one partner. There are a lot of ways to do this, but what we're talking about today as opposed to something like swinging which is more about sexual experiences.And sometimes those are shared with your partner or just an open relationship where everybody does what they want. There aren't really many rules.My guest today, Tamara Powell, is really a specialist in this. She runs the Arya Therapy Services and she provides holistic health and healing to what she says is a global market of nonconformists.Upsides and downsides to polyamory?We discuss the details on what it takes to make this a win-win situation for relationships along with covering some of the common problems it may generate.Who is it for or not for? What kind of agreements and conversations do you need to have what set you up for success? What should you be thinking about if this is an idea that you're considering for your relationship? Kids, jealousy, and more.This can be a complex situation and Tamara and I try to cover all the bases during this wonderful conversation. Hope you enjoy.About Tamara PowellTamara Powell, LMHC is a licensed therapist, university psychology instructor, and spiritual empowerment coach who believes life should be lived as a journey that is “anything but ordinary.”She opened Arya Therapy Services as a way to provide holistic health and healing to a global market of non-conformists. With specialties in gender, sexual, erotic, and relational diversity, Tamara is passionate about holding sacred space for the self-identified misfits and mystics of the world – the healers, the visionaries, and the creatives.More recently, she began Tales from a Trapezoid with a goal of pushing the envelope around the more raw and edgier side of life, dedicated to those who may often feel like a “trapezoid in a world full of circles.”Links:Tamara and Arya Therapy - https://aryatherapy.com/Gina Senarighi - http://www.uncommonlovepdx.com/“Love in Abundance: a Counselor’s Advice on Open Relationships” by Kathy Labriola - http://amzn.to/29TuhwH“The Jealousy Workbook: Exercises and Insights for Managing Open Relationships” by Kathy Labriola - http://amzn.to/2a8Ypqs“Rewriting the Rules: an Integrative Guide to Love, Sex, and Relationships” by Meg Barker - http://amzn.to/29SIaIjMore info:Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass Get full access to Intimacy with Ease at jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe

Welcome to Better Sex. Today we are covering an important and pervasive topic. We're going to talk about female sexual pain, a woman's sexual pain. Way too many people struggle with painful conditions and most of them don't know what to do about it.Some people don't realize that sex should never hurt and other people, even though they realize sex should hurt, just have nowhere to go. The doctors aren't helpful, they're not finding providers that know anything about this, it seems mysterious, there's not any visible obvious problem, and so they're struggling.And they're struggling in their relationship too because it causes a lot of strain. If sex is not enjoyable people often start avoiding it or they're arguing about it or they're confused and hurt, but it just it goes downhill fast.Maegan Megginson joins me today and she really specializes her practice on working with clients with sexual pain. She works with both individuals and couples. She's a marriage and family therapist and a certified sex therapist.What are the types of sexual pain?We go into detail about the two main categories of sexual pain, external and internal. We cover how you can differentiate these kinds of pain, how to talk to your healthcare provider about the pain, and we offer resources for you to learn more about your individual sexual pain experience.There are what are the kinds of issues people face?Sex should never be painful. And many people don't understand this, because they have either experienced pain from the start or they have gone to their healthcare professional who has not provided an accurate diagnosis or effective treatment protocol.Maegan states, "I can't think of one client I've had who has not had at least one shameful experience when seeing a doctor."We give tips and tools for going to your appointments prepared and informed, to help you get the help you need and deserve.What are the conditions that caused the pain?Sexual pain is a symptom of a condition or experience which is completely treatable. And many women can experience healing and progress from Day 1.What are the treatment options and how broad are the effects?We talk about treatment options and how you can find a good, sexual-informed provider to help you if you are experiencing sexual pain.Pain as a "Player"It's important to find someone or a team of supporters because sexual pain can have a dramatic impact on your relationship. The sexual struggles will eventually lead to emotional challenges. Maegan and I both agree the pain can become "a player" in the relationship, an "elephant in the room" which nobody understands.You are not brokenIt's important for people to understand what's going on and to start to get relief and help immediately. You are not broken or defective and relief is available.Background and LinksMaegan Megginson is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist. She is the owner and clinical director of The Center for Couples & Sex Therapy in Portland, Oregon.Maegan specializes in working with women and their partners who are suffering from sexual pain. She understands the complexities of these conditions and is passionate about helping clients heal from the traumatic impact of sexual pain.Website - http://ccstpdx.com/Facebook - https://facebook.com/Couplesandsextherapy/The Vulvar Clinic at OHSU -https://ohsu.edu/xd/health/services/women/services/gynecology-and-obstetrics/services/vulvar-health-program/vulvar-services.cfmResources• https://www.amazon.com/When-Sex-Hurts-Womans-Banishing-ebook/dp/B004JN0FCW• https://www.amazon.com/Come-You-Are-Surprising-Transform-ebook/dp/B00LD1ORBI/• https://www.amazon.com/Emotionally-Focused-Couple-Therapy-Dummies-ebook/dp/B00ET1ULIM/More info:Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass Get full access to Intimacy with Ease at jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe

Today’s episode features Brodie Welch, a Chinese Medicine expert who helps us to recognize that from a Chinese medicine perspective, everything is energy, and sexual energy is an important subset of our total sum of energy reserves.We cover how to apply all areas of the Chinese medicinal branches, the original body/mind/spirit medicine, into our lives and daily choices, "talking" and working with our organ systems to create balance.The 5 BranchesBrodie helps us to understand the five branches of traditional Chinese Medicine. Traditional Chinese Medicine looks at the body as a whole and how the organs and circulatory systems work together.The five branches include right thinking, which is the connection between mind and body, acupuncture, herbs, bodywork such as massage, and diet.A complete system of healthcareChinese Medicine is a complete system of health care that has been in practice for 3-5,000 years. Basically, it is able to address any health issue for which you do not need to visit an Emergency Room.Stress reduction hackBrodie tells us an important way to reduce stress and heal our bodies and minds - breathing. Proper breath technique allows our body to get into a resting, digesting, and recovering state, away from a stressful "fight or flight" state which can be detrimental over time. See the link below for a great breathing meditation lesson.BalanceYin and Yang describe how seemingly opposite or contrary forces may actually be complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world, and how they may give rise to each other as they interrelate to one another.We cover how both need to exist in harmony within every organ system for us to be healthy.How does this all apply to sexual energy?"How can Chinese Medicine help me have better sex? Well, let me count the ways..."During this part of our discussion, Brodie details the five major organ systems: the Liver, the Spleen, the Heart, the Lungs, and the Kidneys. The latter being the important organ system when we talk in depth about our reproductive system energy reserves or "pilot light" as Brodie calls it.This is an important energy reserve system which can quickly be depleted by lack of sleep and overwork, often leading to lowered sexual desire and imbalance.So how can people get more access to their sexual energy?Listen in to hear what you can do to maintain and improve balance and energy levels. We strategize things we can do in each branch of Chinese Medicine along with where you can find a qualified Oriental Medicine practitioner.BackgroundBrodie Welch is a Licensed Acupuncturist, board-certified herbalist, Chinese Medicine expert, holistic health coach, and self-care strategist. She’s the founder of Life in Balance Acupuncture in Corvallis, Oregon, where she has been treating patients since 2003.Brodie helps caring, high-achieving, women put themselves on their own to-do lists so they can trade stress and burnout for energy, joy, and vibrant health. She has helped thousands of clients improve their digestion, sleep, and mood; dial in a regular body-mind practice, and step into the next version of themselves.She leads self-care boot camp programs to help women bridge the gap between what they know they should be doing to take care of themselves and actually doing it. She’s also the creator and host of A Healthy Curiosity: the podcast that explores what it takes to be well in a busy world.LinksBrodie's website: http://brodiewelch.comCalm and Centered Bundle: http://brodiewelch.com/opt-in-bundle/Free 5-minute breathing meditation: http://brodiewelch.com/breathing-break/Podcast page: http://www.brodiewelch.com/podcastBrodie’s Signature Program, Level Up Your Life: http://brodiewelch.com/level-upNational Certification Commission for Acupuncture and Oriental Medicine: http://www.nccaom.org/More info:Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass Get full access to Intimacy with Ease at jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe

Today’s personal story features Jenn, a 47-year-old woman who has undergone more than her fair share of stressful events during her life. From being molested as a child and losing her virginity to date rape, to facing repeated infertility issues, miscarriages and finally a hysterectomy.We cover how all these events affected her relationship with herself, as well as her intimate relationships with others.Early sexual experiencesCourageous, Jenn outlines several of the challenges she faced with her first sexual experiences, and how her very first Obgyn appointment at age 15 was one of the key experiences that shaped her outlook and behavior with regards to infertility later in life and led her to adopt, foster and mother a total of 18 children!Becoming sexual by choice after date rapeListen in as Jenn discusses how losing her virginity to date rape informed her sexual encounters for a period after the event. She explains her reaction to having her choices taken away, causing a need to take control of her sexual experiences in a way that many people who have been through that trauma can relate to.Jenn goes on to muse over some fateful positive experiences that spurred important realizations, empowering her to switch to more positive ways of relating to partners intimately - from a fortuitous massage, to a close friend who not only gave her first orgasm, but taught her an important lesson that resonated for the rest of her life.These events led her to a fulfilling emotional connection with a new partner which turned into a long-lasting marriage.The importance of receptivityJenn’s life could have taken a very different path if she hadn’t chosen to be receptive to the moments that mattered. She tells us why, for her, she chose to be in tune to these moments and receive the messages they contained.The impact of infertility on an intimate relationshipAs many women experiencing infertility problems can relate to, Jenn shares how she felt as if essential parts of her womanhood were ‘broken.’She shares that undergoing seven surgeries and taking a variety of medications made her feel lost and ‘not herself.’ Describing her sex life as a scheduled chore, we hear why she decided to end the process, forgoing in vitro, and miraculously fell pregnant despite the odds.Maintaining an intimate connection with your partnerTune in to hear how fertility treatment, pregnancies, miscarriages, and finally a hysterectomy changed and impacted Jenn’s body, self-image and sex life. She shares with us how she was determined to turn things around by taking charge of her body once again.Dating after divorceIn her next life stage, Jenn went from married stay at home mum to a working single mum. She tells us how the hysterectomy changed her body and sex life, and the strangeness of having sex with new people after coming out of a long-term, comfortable connection with a partner, describing it as “needing a whole new map.”She also talks about the difficulties of negotiating a sex life in a mixed household with 12 children!Important advice from a survivorTune in to hear Jenn’s powerful advice for survivors of rape, molestation, infertility or any emotional problems, culminating in her empowering final sentence, “Just leave the lights on!”More info:Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass Get full access to Intimacy with Ease at jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe

Correction: I misspoke in my introduction to the episode. Melissa is not yet certified as a sex therapist. I apologize for any confusion.Sexual Fragmentation - what is it and how does it show up in sex therapy?Tune in today to learn about how Melissa defines fragmentation as it applies to sex therapy work, as she talks about the competing needs we all have within us.How do we get fragmented?Melissa answers this question, discussing how our sexual and social development from a young age is impacted by loved ones and society, often creating a wedge between our minds and bodiesFragmentation: positive or negative?Keep listening to hear why fragmentation is not necessarily a negative thing, and why it can, in fact, help us to explore and learn more about ourselves.Melissa delves into the fact that a large part of our psyche is in shadow. As we grow up, we are encouraged to critically think and explore so many different subjects and aspects of life; but generally not encouraged to explore or think critically about sexuality and intimacy. “We don’t know what we don’t know.”How does fragmentation present?Here we learn the key topics that Melissa’s clients often bring up and how people use shame or blame as a defense against things that scare them. Spend some time listening as Melissa talks more about the subject of fear in relation to sexuality.Working to heal fragmentationHear Melissa explain how she approaches the subject of fragmentation with her clients by using body-centered therapy. She tells us that she uses not only the minds of clients but also focuses heavily on dropping down into the body, to the original place where many fragmentations originally occurred.Past memories and moving forward to healingMelissa answers the question: Do people need to remember the original incidences in order to heal? Join in to find out how she helps people de-identify with their stories and move them past the uncomfortable feelings and emotions they may experience in this journey.Erotic mindfulnessThe definition of mindfulness is listening to your arousal instead of following it blindly. This is one of the first things that Melissa helps her clients to develop a practice in, to help them get out of their head and focus on the pleasure of the body. Find out how it works when couples experience therapy and practice together.Trauma survivors and fear of getting in touch with the bodyMelissa outlines the impact that trauma can have on the body, and the gentle process that she uses to help people reconnect with those parts of themselves that may have become numb, so they can begin experiencing pleasure and enjoying sex again.Starting the healing process at homeFind out some simple pathways to help you start this reconnection process at home by exploring things that already give you pleasure in ways that may not necessarily be sexual. Here, we learn about the expansiveness of sexuality as a generative force and how sex itself is just one component of sensuality.The final takeaway messageOur podcast winds up with Melissa telling us her one most important take-home message to start bringing all those fragmented parts of ourselves together. You don’t want to miss this valuable message.BackgroundMelissa Walker is a Body-Centered Psychotherapist specializing in sex and relationship therapy for both couples and individuals. Director for the Embodied Relationships Counseling Center, she graduated Naropa University in 2009 and combines her training with certification in Somatic Archaeology, Psychodrama, and Authentic Movement, teaching clients how to get in touch with their body and repair some of the fragmentation that occurs during their life experiences.Melissa now teaches Professional Orientation and Ethics at Naropa University.Links and how to contact Melissa WalkerFor more information on Melissa, including workshops talks, and to sign up for her monthly blog, visit: http://embodiedrelationshipscenter.com/More info:Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass Get full access to Intimacy with Ease at jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe

Amanda’s interest in menstrual health began as early as her childhood. Today she passionately shares her wisdom about how women should have knowledge of how their bodies work and, with this, feel empowered to talk about menstruation and sex without feeling ashamed.Menstrual problems and SexJoin us as we discuss the main issues around periods and sex. Problems such as not feeling sexy when your period is heavy, hormonal imbalances and disorders which can cause excruciating pain.Amanda answers the question of whether you can have sex when you’re on your period with a resounding YES, absolutely you can! Tune in to hear Amanda’s thoughts on why having sex on your period is a great thing, what precautions you can take, and what you can do to make it an enjoyable experience for both parties.She touches on why your period can help orgasms and how orgasms can ease your period. We learn that a key factor in ensuring you and your partner are comfortable with having sex during menstruation.Amanda shares an interesting list of products to use when having sex on your period. If you haven’t heard about menstrual discs, listen in to get an idea of how you can use them too! DIaphragms are mentioned and Amanda gives us her criticism on that.History of myths about menstruationWe hear about the history and myths around women and menstruation. Many myths went unchallenged and were usually painted in an unfavorable light, surrounded by mysticism and power. “ Women’s power has always been acknowledged but it’s also been oppressed or feared.” Listen in to find out what mayonnaise and hunting had to do with this taboo topic!How to think about periodsJoin in to hear Amanda’s approach to your period. She highlights the cultural attitudes we have been taught and encourages us to understand your cycle and its role in our general wellness as our attitudes dictate our experience.She questions where we get our information from and challenges us to look further to gain useful insights into the motivation behind this.Nutrition and how it affects your periodsTune in to hear Amanda’s simple tips to improve your period. She covers simple tricks such as a healthier nutritional intake and using more organic products to better your monthly experience. Amanda shares how NOT eating certain foods can positively affect your body too!Can you get Pregnant on your Period?Amanda tackles this interesting question in detail so we understand the probabilities for our individual cases. Listen in to learn how to determine whether you can indeed fall pregnant during your period.About Amanda LairdAmanda Laird is a Registered Holistic Nutritionist ™ and host of the Heavy Flow Podcast – a weekly podcast dedicated to casual conversations about periods, reproductive health and other taboo health and wellness topics, available on iTunes and at www.amandalaird.ca. She lives in Toronto with her husband and daughter.Amanda specializes in helping women understand their menstrual cycle and how nutrition can contribute towards a more positive monthly experience. A self-confessed menstrual mogul, she draws on her personal experience to teach women how to balance their hormonal health by choosing the right food and lifestyle so periods no longer have to be a curse.How to reach Amanda and related linksYou can reach Amanda on these links:Website: www.amandalaird.caInstagram: www.instagram.com/amandalairdFacebook: www.facebook.com/amandalairdrhnTwitter: www.twitter.com/amandalairdListen to Amanda’s podcast episode “Can you get pregnant on your period” http://amandalaird.ca/can-you-get-pregnant-on-your-period/Listen to Amanda's podcast episode “What's the best period product to use” http://amandalaird.ca/question-period-what-are-the-best-menstrual-products-to-use/More info:Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass Get full access to Intimacy with Ease at jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe

What is self-care?Tune in to hear Stacy’s definition of self-care: what it looks like and how it relates to all areas of life, not only with regards to physical health but mental and emotional health as well. Stacy reveals what percentage of health care issues come back to self-care, and talks about its relevance to everything from dental care and medical care to therapy.The Eight Dimensions of self-careLiving Upp’s programs are based on eight specific dimensions regarding self-care. Listen to Stacy give an outline of each of these dimensions, covering everything from emotions and inner truth to financial and environmental facets. She briefly paints a picture of how each of these dimensions impacts our well-being.Common Problem AreasFind out the most common area that many people neglect to nurture, and why this key component can affect all other dimensions.The Importance of a Multi-Dimensional ApproachHere Stacy talks about how every individual is always evolving, and why self-care is not a ‘one size fits all’ solution. Learn why everybody needs an individualized plan and how day to day life changes will require different focuses.Trends in Self-CareLearn about the latest trends in the self-care realm according to Stacy, and why you can’t necessarily believe all the latest articles and information that floods the internet.We also learn about how self-care strategies can save you time, money, and stress by preventing issues from arising in future.“Stacking” DimensionsDiscover how to power up your self-care with stacking: identifying those activities or behaviors that will hit multiple dimensions, saving you time and leveling up your fulfillment. Stacy shares some tips and examples of how stacking works.Self-Care in RelationshipsKeep tuning in to find out the importance of self-care with regards to personal relationships, and how you can create the conditions to enable both partners to feel fulfilled. Stacy tells us that self-care is not necessarily a solo journey.Warning Signs that you need more self-careWhat does it look like when you neglect to take care of yourself? Find out the warning signals and symptoms that clue you in on when you need to take a step back, and a few simple tools that Stacy herself uses every day to check in, monitor her progress and keep herself accountable.About Stacy Fisher GunnFounder of Living Upp, a self-care planning, and design company, Stacy Fisher-Gunn is an author, public speaker and self-care designer with over 18 years of experience in the healthcare industry. A registered Dietician and certified diabetes educator, she has worked in a large range of different facilities; including nursing homes, hospitals, doctor’s offices, and corporate wellness programs for companies such as Dell, Boeing, and Nike.Stacy loves to work with people and organizations to help them come up with self-care strategies, using her tailored eight-dimensional self-care system.Her book Uppward: A Self Care System for Purposeful Living describes eight unique facets of self-care, which act as the building blocks for all of Living Upp’s programs and pieces of training.Stacy lives with her husband Jeremy in Issaquah, WA.Links and How to Contact Stacy Fisher-GunnVisit the Living Upp website to see how it all works, schedule a strategy session and find out more about the self-care mastery program.https://www.LivingUpp.com/self-care-mastery-programMore info:Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcastBetter Sex with Jessa Zimmermanhttps://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass Get full access to Intimacy with Ease at jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe