Better Sex #27: [Personal Story] Jenn - Trauma & Infertility, Fortunate Healing
Today’s personal story features Jenn, a 47-year-old woman who has undergone more than her fair share of stressful events during her life. From being molested as a child and losing her virginity to date rape, to facing repeated infertility issues, miscarriages and finally a hysterectomy.
We cover how all these events affected her relationship with herself, as well as her intimate relationships with others.
Early sexual experiences
Courageous, Jenn outlines several of the challenges she faced with her first sexual experiences, and how her very first Obgyn appointment at age 15 was one of the key experiences that shaped her outlook and behavior with regards to infertility later in life and led her to adopt, foster and mother a total of 18 children!
Becoming sexual by choice after date rape
Listen in as Jenn discusses how losing her virginity to date rape informed her sexual encounters for a period after the event. She explains her reaction to having her choices taken away, causing a need to take control of her sexual experiences in a way that many people who have been through that trauma can relate to.
Jenn goes on to muse over some fateful positive experiences that spurred important realizations, empowering her to switch to more positive ways of relating to partners intimately - from a fortuitous massage, to a close friend who not only gave her first orgasm, but taught her an important lesson that resonated for the rest of her life.
These events led her to a fulfilling emotional connection with a new partner which turned into a long-lasting marriage.
The importance of receptivity
Jenn’s life could have taken a very different path if she hadn’t chosen to be receptive to the moments that mattered. She tells us why, for her, she chose to be in tune to these moments and receive the messages they contained.
The impact of infertility on an intimate relationship
As many women experiencing infertility problems can relate to, Jenn shares how she felt as if essential parts of her womanhood were ‘broken.’
She shares that undergoing seven surgeries and taking a variety of medications made her feel lost and ‘not herself.’ Describing her sex life as a scheduled chore, we hear why she decided to end the process, forgoing in vitro, and miraculously fell pregnant despite the odds.
Maintaining an intimate connection with your partner
Tune in to hear how fertility treatment, pregnancies, miscarriages, and finally a hysterectomy changed and impacted Jenn’s body, self-image and sex life. She shares with us how she was determined to turn things around by taking charge of her body once again.
Dating after divorce
In her next life stage, Jenn went from married stay at home mum to a working single mum. She tells us how the hysterectomy changed her body and sex life, and the strangeness of having sex with new people after coming out of a long-term, comfortable connection with a partner, describing it as “needing a whole new map.”
She also talks about the difficulties of negotiating a sex life in a mixed household with 12 children!
Important advice from a survivor
Tune in to hear Jenn’s powerful advice for survivors of rape, molestation, infertility or any emotional problems, culminating in her empowering final sentence, “Just leave the lights on!”
More info:
Web - https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/
Sex Health Quiz - http://sexhealthquiz.com/
If you’re enjoying the podcast and want to be a part of making sure it continues in the future, consider being a patron. With a small monthly pledge, you can support the costs of putting this show together. For as little as $2 per month, you can get advance access to each episode. For just a bit more, you will receive an advance copy of a chapter of my new book. And for $10 per month, you get all that plus an invitation to an online Q&A chat with me once a quarter. Learn more at https://www.patreon.com/bettersexpodcast
Better Sex with Jessa Zimmerman
https://businessinnovatorsradio.com/better-sex/
Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.
More info and resources:
Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast
Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast
How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com
The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com
The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com
Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com
Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass
Get full access to Intimacy with Ease at jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe