Bite Your Tongue: The Podcast

Happy Father's Day.  We hope many father's (and even mother's) listen and take this episode to heart.  It's a good one!Today, we welcome Dr. Deryl Goldenberg. We learned about him when we saw an article he wrote called: “The Psychology Behind Strained Father and Son Relationships.” With many years of  working with men in therapy, the issues that come up with careers or relationships can often be traced back to their lack of a relationship with their fathers. Goldenberg is a licensed clinical psychologist with over 30 years in private practice.  He is also the Executive Director of the Verdugo Hills Autism Project, a non-public agency providing intervention services to children with emotional and developmental disorders.  Today, in honor of Father’s Day we want to talk about the father’s role in the life of the emerging adult child.  We tend to focus so much on mothers, and the father is behind the curtain or many times silent.We talk about so many things and his thoughtful answers can apply to nearly any relationship in our lives.  To become a surgeon, carpenter or teacher takes time, practice and work, he says - but so do relationships.  For a strong relationship to develop a father has to be interested in really knowing their child - whatever their life choices.  This reminded us a bit about our conversation with Rosjke Hasseldine, when she spoke about "understanding" one another.  You do  not have to agree, but work to understand.  If you missed it, here is a link to that episode. Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Support us  P L E A S E!Buy us a coffee:  LINK HEREBuy a mug:  LINK HEREGreat Deal for Listeners!Denise's favorite shape-wear company.  Denise particularly LOVES their best selling Truekind Daily Comfort Wireless Bra.  "It holds you up and is so comfortable.  I am hooked - truly," says Denise.  Use this link and just put biteyourtongue (one word) in the CODE at checkout.Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

We sharing our LGBTQ+ episode that we dropped in Season I for Pride Month.  It remains one of our favorite episodes.We hope you will listen.Here are the episode notes from the earlier episode:Every time I listen to an episode, I think to myself, "everyone needs to listen to this. There are so many valuable nuggets of information for all of us in every episode."For this episode - I plead with everyone to listen and share it.  Many of us think we are progressive and accepting, but to step into someone's shoes helps us learn so much more.  This episode is NOT JUST FOR PARENTS of LGBTQ+ children, but for ALL OF US.  Let me know what you think. Today I speak with Levi Teachey, who is the Board President of PFLAG Denver, and Stacey Shigaya, who is the organization's Board Secretary.Levi shares his very personal journey as a trans man and Stacey shares her journey both as an ally within the LGBTQ+ community and with her daughter who is pansexual.We discuss both their stories and the rapidly changing landscape of this community.  Planned Parenthood writes: "Understanding the words, and the labels people use encourages respect and understanding."Please share the episode with friends and family who you think might benefit. Stacey and Levi also shared these documents which I found very helpful:Glossary of Terms (https://pflag.org/glossary)Faith FAQs (https://pflag.org/faithfaq)Becoming a Trans Ally 101 (https://pflag.org/transally101recording)Finally, Levi ends each of his emails with this phrase -- "courage, kindness and lasting change," -- keep it handy!PFLAG is a national organization founded in 1972 by Jeanne Manford, who marched with her son, in a gay pride parade in New York, with a sign that read: "Parents of Gays Unite."  It has become one of the most important organizations building support for friends and families of the LGBTQ+ community.  Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of BITE YOUR TONGUE: The Podcast.You asked for it!  This is another episode that answers a listener question!But before we start - think about supporting the podcast and buy us a coffee.  That's all it takes.  CLICK HERE TO BUY US A COFFEE.This is a quick a very quick refresher course on understanding the LGBTQ+ pronouns and languageAbout a year ago we had  of our most emotional episodes about understanding LGBTQ+ with Levi Teachey, President of P-Flag Denver and Stacy Shigaway, a parent of a pansexual daughter.Even since that episode things have changed.  We can't seem to keep our  pronouns and language straight for this ever-changing community.Our listeners asked for a refresher and we are happy to oblige. And we found the perfect guest.  Denise was in LA recently visiting her daughter.  She took a walk with a friend and a young 20-something person joined the group who identified as non-binary, using the pronoun “they.”  Denise was  tripping over her tongue the entire walk and finally at the end she asked they if they might join us on the podcast.  They agreed and here we are.They is concise and articulate.  Here is a link to the article we discuss:  What Quakers Can Teach Us About the Politics of Pronouns. This may be from WIKI, but we found this helpful as well. Print it out and work on learning these new and important pronouns. Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Support us  P L E A S E!Buy us a coffee:  LINK HEREBuy a mug:  LINK HEREGreat Deal for Listeners!Denise's favorite shape-wear company.  Denise particularly LOVES their best selling Truekind Daily Comfort Wireless Bra.  "It holds you up and is so comfortable.  I am hooked - truly," says Denise.  Use this link and just put biteyourtongue (one word) in the CODE at checkout.Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

We are on it!  Today we are talking about mothers and daughters!And it begins with the burnt hamburger.  But more about that in today’s episode.  You will have to listen.A listener wrote: Where have you been for the last 15 years? I have been searching for books, podcasts, and the internet for some real support on parenting adult children. Nothing.”  The listener proceeded to ask if we might explore more about the mother/daughter relationship and expressed some of the struggles she was having with her own adult daughters.In her message she said that she imagined that as she and her daughter got older, they would become closer. But instead, she feels like she is biting her tongue all the time,Denise and Ellen welcomed Rosjke Hasseldine, an internationally recognized mother-daughter therapist with over 20 years listening to women and girls from around the world talk about their lives and relationships. Rosjke is the creator of the Mother-Daughter Coaching Model which uncovers and explains the hidden dynamics between mothers and daughters. She is also the author of two books - "The Silent Female Scream'' and "The Mother-Daughter Puzzle".   Visit Mother Daughter Coaching International  for information about Hasseldine, her books, training courses, and free articles and videos.  Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Support us  P L E A S E!Buy us a coffee:  LINK HEREBuy a mug:  LINK HEREGreat Deal for Listeners!Denise's favorite shape-wear company.  Denise particularly LOVES their best selling Truekind Daily Comfort Wireless Bra.  "It holds you up and is so comfortable.  I am hooked - truly," says Denise.  Use this link and just put biteyourtongue (one word) in the CODE at checkout.Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Today Denise and Ellen welcome Michelle Martinez, who is not only a Certified Wedding Consultant, with more than 20 years in the wedding and events industry, but also the creator and host of the world's mosts popular wedding podcast - The Big Wedding Planning Podcast. With 300 episodes under her belt and nearly three million downloads, she's been around the block a few times!Ellen's daughter is getting married so Ellen has some inside scoop on some of her issues. Michelle helps us see the whole picture, what are role is of parents - of the bride or the groom and underscores her three missions:Inclusivity is keyPerfection is a mythWedding planning for allIt seems to all come back to what Julie Dolan told us in our grand-parenting episode about being the loving and loyal servant.We talk about:The role of the bride and groom's familyHow the bride's family can help the groom's family feel more comfortableThe role of the newly engaged coupleGuest listsFinances and moreIf you are in the stages of wedding planning and don't have the budget for a big time wedding planner, Michelle now offers a masterclass on her website.  A tiny percent of what a full wedding planner would cost.  Check it out her Master Class offer here.Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Support us  P L E A S E!Buy us a coffee:  LINK HEREBuy a mug:  LINK HEREGreat Deal for Listeners!Denise's favorite shape-wear company.  Denise particularly LOVES their best selling Truekind Daily Comfort Wireless Bra.  "It holds you up and is so comfortable.  I am hooked - truly," says Denise.  Use this link and just put biteyourtongue (one word) in the CODE at checkout.Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

You asked for it!  This episode is dedicated to the often-complicated relationship with mothers-in-laws and their daughter-in-laws. If you’ve ever felt slighted or wanted more connection than the other is willing to give -  this is the episode for you! For several months listeners have asked us to find someone who could talk to us about the mother-in-law, daughter-in-law dynamic.   So many layers to all of this.  We did some searching and this episode features our interview with  Dr. Deanna Brann. Dr. Deanna, as she likes to be called, is a licensed clinical psychotherapist and is a leading expert in the area of mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationships. She works with women involved in this pivotal yet particularly challenging relationship, and has helped women nationwide to restore hope and bring healing to their families.She is the author of the popular book,  Reluctantly Related: Breaking Free of the Mother-in-Law/Daughter-in Law Conflict. What you will love about the book and her website is that there are questionnaires to help you identify your personality type as well as your daughter-in-law's.  Then she provides steps to help you improve or enhance your relationship.She provides great insight for all of you who are mother-in-laws to first look inside yourself. Examine what YOU may be contributing.  Take the highroad.You may also enjoy some of the information on her YOUTUBE channel.Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Support us  P L E A S E!Buy us a coffee:  LINK HEREBuy a mug:  LINK HEREGreat Deal for Listeners!Denise's favorite shape-wear company.  Denise particularly LOVES their best selling Truekind Daily Comfort Wireless Bra.  "It holds you up and is so comfortable.  I am hooked - truly," says Denise.  Use this link and just put biteyourtongue (one word) in the CODE at checkout.Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Today Ellen and Denise  welcome Tess Brigham, a licensed psychotherapist, life coach and former twenty-something.  In a recent article from CNBC Tess says: “Over a decade ago, when I first became a therapist, I never expected that five years later, my practice would consist of nearly 90% millennials, with the rest of my patients being parents of millennials.”  So she’s got both sides of the story for us. Tess has been featured in major media throughout the US  - from the New York Times to O Magazine.  So, we are pretty excited to have her with us today.In that recent CNBC article, she says that the number one complaint parents have about their adult kids is money.  With that lead, we thought we’d challenge Tess with helping us with constructive strategies for the TOP 10 issues between adult kids and their parents.  Listen to hear what she says.  We talk about:How she became a millennial therapistSocial Media:  Keeping up with the Jones'How are millennials different from our generationWhat is it about this generation that no other generation has experienced before?Why is this stage of emerging adults so difficult?Tess Brigham CoachingYouTube Channel - lots of tips and tricksThanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Support us  P L E A S E!Buy us a coffee:  LINK HEREBuy a mug:  LINK HEREGreat Deal for Listeners!Denise's favorite shape-wear company.  Denise particularly LOVES their best selling Truekind Daily Comfort Wireless Bra.  "It holds you up and is so comfortable.  I am hooked - truly," says Denise.  Use this link and just put biteyourtongue (one word) in the CODE at checkout.Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

This is a fun episode.  Today Denise interviews Stanford grads and Brooklyn comedians Carolyn Doyle and Emily Kop. Always wanting to understand and relate to the younger generation, we found these two 20-somethings by listening to their podcast called OKAY STUPID.  While listening Denise found herself gasping as they spoke so personally about their lives - including their sex lives. We wanted to learn more - about them, their podcast, their relationship with their parents and of course, their generation.Caroline grew up in San Francisco and has performed stand-up in Chicago, Berlin, the Bay Area and New York, as well as at comedy festivals like SF Sketchfest, the DC Comedy Festival, and Big Little Comedy Fest.  She's also a contributor to Reductress and McSweeney’s. I learned after the interview that she is also a mechanical engineer!  Emily Kop, also from California,  has a lower profile but also performs regularly with Caroline and you can follow her on INSTAGRAM. They've been best friends since their freshman year at Stanford.It's a lively conversation about all of these things and more...and a chance to meet these two incredible young women who are following unique paths in life.Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Support us  P L E A S E!Buy us a coffee:  LINK HEREBuy a mug:  LINK HEREGreat Deal for Listeners!Denise's favorite shape-wear company.  Denise particularly LOVES their best selling Truekind Daily Comfort Wireless Bra.  "It holds you up and is so comfortable.  I am hooked - truly," says Denise.  Use this link and just put biteyourtongue (one word) in the CODE at checkout.Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Ellen joins Denise in today's episode as we chat with Julia Pimsluer.  Denise actually met Julia in a coffee shop in New York and the two began to chat.Julia is a scaling couch, speaker and best-selling author.  She is founder of Million Dollar Women, a New York-based social venture, which has helped thousands of women entrepreneurs  scale their businesses. Prior to that, she founded  and built Little Pim, a language learning program for young children, into a million-dollar company. GO Big Now, Julia PimsluerFinding Your Own North Star, by Martha BeckThe Power of Regret, Daniel Pink (How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward)"The Power of Regret shows how we can live richer, more engaged lives."Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Support us  P L E A S E!Buy us a coffee:  LINK HEREBuy a mug:  LINK HERESupport the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Today Ellen and Denise interviewed Judith Smith, the author of a new book called:  Difficult: Mothering Challenging Adult Children through Conflict and Change.Judith is a leader in gerontological research focusing on women’s experiences as they age. She is a senior clinical social worker, therapist, and professor at Fordham University. She lives in New York City.Difficult focuses on adult children and takes the unique perspective of the mother.  I struggled reading this book and felt such compassion for these mothers and the sacrifices they made. Judith wrote the book because she discovered that there was very little written about parenting adult children and in particular for these mothers who were saddled with very difficult situations. Judith is writing about a particular set of mothers.  Mothers truly who have difficult adult children. She talks about her hope that using the words, "difficult adult child" will help others understand and be supportive.  She says that 80 percent  of all children are being raised in a single family home and the person carrying most of the weight is the mother.  That is changing, but not by much.  There are no magical answers but she pushed herself to think about this and offers some tools both on the episode and in the book. Here final hope is that this book will help these mothers not feel alone. Some links: JASA. Book:  Torn in Two. Prochaska and DiClemte's Stages of Change Alanon.Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Support us  P L E A S E!Buy us a coffee:  LINK HEREBuy a mug:  LINK HEREGreat Deal for Listeners!Denise's favorite shape-wear company.  Denise particularly LOVES their best selling Truekind Daily Comfort Wireless Bra.  "It holds you up and is so comfortable.  I am hooked - truly," says Denise.  Use this link and just put biteyourtongue (one word) in the CODE at checkout.Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.