Bite Your Tongue: The Podcast

Disrespect.  We've all been there with our grown children.  The rolling of the eyes, the under the breath grunt and sometimes just complete disrespect.  Is it normal?  How do we react and handle it?Today we speak with Jennifer Williams who is the founder of Heartmanity and the Heartmanity Center, located in Bozeman, Montana. Her passion is to help people create thriving relationships. She  wrote a blog titled  “How to Deal with a Disrespectful Grown Child” and we thought well that’s a topic we’d all like to delve deep into. I don’t know about you, but I was a bit of a “know it all” in my early adult years and not always as respectful as I could have been to my own parents.  So why am I surprised when I get a bit of lip from my kiddos?  Well, let's find out.  She takes us deep into understanding our role, how to lead with empathy, set boundaries and build the relationship we all deserve.  She also offers and explains three key actions parents can take to stay connected and have a great relationship with their adult children - whatever age they are! We hope you enjoy it! Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Support us  P L E A S E!Buy us a coffee:  LINK HEREBuy a mug:  LINK HERESupport the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Today we talk to Dr. Jefferey Berstien. He is a licensed clinical psychologist who has been helping children, teens, couples and families for over thirty years. He is the author of several books including his latest - now coming out in its third edition called 10-days to a Less Defiant Child. The articles he has written are numerous covering many subjects.  Because of his breadth of experience we thought we’d use this episode to ask Dr. Bernstein many of our listener questions.   We talk about disrespect, significant others, identifying if it's a struggle or are we or they choosing not to?   Identifying our own baggage and moving forward to really begin to establish a relationship that is strong and satisfying for all parties. Dr. Bernstein role plays with us to really help us find the right words.  Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Support us  P L E A S E!Buy us a coffee:  LINK HERE. Buy a mug: LINK HEREFollow us on:   Facebook   Instagram   Twitter And remember sometimes you may have to BITE YOUR TONGUE!Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Today we speak with Tracy Hargen who tells us about her journey to becoming a featured writer on so many topics for the popular website Grown and Flown.She helps us, with real ideas, for starting conversations with our adult children that are not just about their jobs and relationships, but work to build our relationship with them as adults.We talk about this article “We Absolutely Made the Right Choice to be Friends with Our Children.” and why this matters so much.  And even if you are starting late she says "Parenting is the ultimate friendship – you will always be bound by DNA to have a relationship but friendship is choice," with many suggestions for getting started.We talk about her son and his battle with mental health disease and how her family faced this journey.  This article she wrote exploded on Grown and Flown ranking as one of the top downloaded blog posts for the year!  Here is a link to the article. She talks about the picture that is featured with this story. We also talk about her article, What's Important Now? Now That my Children are Grown, What is My Purpose?  We discuss the questions we need to ask ourselves as we enter into this new stage of life.  There is so much more!  We loved chatting with Tracy and hope you will visit her site and read all of her blog posts - they resonated with us!Write to us at biteyourtonguepodcast@gmail.com - share your ideas and thoughts about new episodes and topics!Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher our audio engineer.Support us  P L E A S E!Buy us a coffee:  LINK HEREBuy a mug: LINK HERESupport the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Before we get into this episode I want to remind listeners to sign up for this FREE "Graceful Empty-Nester" Virtual Conference.  It begins on February 19 and runs through Feb 28. There are featured experts with strategies to reconnect with your children, heal relationships and inspire a future of connectivity!  You can listen to one two or all of them! Denise is one of the guests and shares some of the bests pieces of advice from all of our 40+ episodes.   Link her to grab your front seat!Today we are replaying a wonderful episode about religion and spirituality.  Just passing a few major religious holidays we thought it would be important to re-visit our feelings about our adult children and their religious choices. How many of you struggled to get your adult child to attend religious services or maybe you are worried about your grandchild having any religious upbringing. Whatever your concerns you will love this wonderful discussion with the Reverend Elizabeth P. Randall and Galit Pinksy Gottlieb. Elizabeth is the Rector at St. Andrew's Episcopal Church in Denver, Colorado.  She is a graduate of Smith College and Yale Divinity School and  was one of the first clergy in Denver to recognize and perform weddings for the LGBTQ community. She’s been happily married for over 30-years to someone who is Jewish. Together they have one daughter.   Since the interview, Elizabeth is now a grandmother to a wonderful grandson named Frank. Galit, who practices Conservative Judaism, served as a Synagogue Cantor for many years. She is also an author as well as a mother and the wife of a Jewish scholar. Her children were raised in the Jewish tradition and now are all in long-term relationships with non-Jewish partners.So many journeys to understand, learn and accept.  We think both Elizabeth and Galit offer support, understanding and some brilliant and thoughtful ideas and approaches.Galit is also an author of a wonderful mystery book series called the Whipped and Sipped Mysteries.  Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Don't underestimate how much the people who come after you are going to know about you!  Today, our guest is Erik Vance.  He is an award-winning story-teller and New York Times editor based in Boulder, Colorado. (lucky guy).  We came upon an article he wrote called:  "How I Time-Travel to Parent My Adult Son." When we started to read it really had nothing to do with adult kids, but then it did.Backstory:   Vance says: “Once a year I record a brutally honest conversation for my little boy. " He says (and we confront him on this) that is doing it now because he thinks he is more interesting at this age than in 20 years!  We don't think so!Our Adult Kids and Grandkids:   it is never too late and don’t  underestimate how much the people who come after you are going to want to know about you.  Think about it.  If you could listen to your mother or father NOW and hear how they felt when you were a young adult - wouldn't you savor it?If you could hear the voices of your grandparents and learn more about their journey  - what a gift!I think all of us agree that we would love to hear the voices and experiences of our parents and grandparents - honest talk about their lives and struggles --  and as Erik said it can only help them feel like they can do it too.It's not too late. We are going to give it a shot and hope that this interview with Erik encourages many of our listeners to do the same,Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Support us  P L E A S E!Buy us a coffee:  LINK HEREBuy a mug:  LINK HEREShapermint: 20% off with the code biteyourtongue at checkoutSupport the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

This is the  most requested topic by our listeners!We talk to Dr. Mark McConville,a Clinical Psychologist and author of the book - “Failure to Launch,” Why Your Twentysomething Hasn’t Grown Up….What to Do About It. Dr. McConville is an expert in adolescent psychology and his groundbreaking book comes at a time when 2.2 million young adults in America are struggling to find their way in the world.We talk about the root cause of the problem, why modern young adults are failing to launch in record numbers and the three critical skills necessary to make the transition from childhood to adulthood. He mentions the old adage of "benign neglect" and we found this article about this and the author says: "I think children are just like hearty houseplants — they should be watered liberally and you should ensure they get ample sunshine. But otherwise, just let them be."Do we love too much?Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Support us  P L E A S E!Buy us a coffee:  LINK HERE (only 5 BUCKS and it means alot!)Buy a mug:  LINK HEREFollow up on our social media platforms:Facebook   Instagram   TwitterAnd remember sometimes you may have to BITE YOUR TONGUE!Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Listener requested!  The wedding is over.  Grandchildren have arrived, but now there is trouble in paradise.  Your Adult Child is Getting a Divorce. When to bite our tongues? How or when to offer advice? The wedding was such an exciting time and now the heartache begins.   This episode will help you navigate the toughest situations.Also, we are going to explore narcissism and how to identify this characteristic in your adult children or significant others.We talk to two therapists in this episode. The first is Alena Scigliano. She is a licensed psychotherapist and an expert in narcissistic abuse. Narcissism also seems to be a trigger for divorce.We also speak with Ashley Quamme, a marriage and family therapist based in Columbia, Georgia. She specializes in EFT - Emotionally Focused Therapy. We’d like to learn more about that, too.We explore everything fromHow your initial response can set the toneHow to be supportive but not overbearingHow to recognize a narcissistic partnerHow divorcing a narcissist can impose a new can of wormsWhat about the grandchildren?And so much more... Even if divorce is not on your radar, we think you will find the discussion interesting and learning about narcissism was a real eye-opener for us!Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Support us  P L E A S E!Buy us a coffee:  LINK HERE (only 5 BUCKS and it means alot!)Buy a mug:  LINK HEREFollow up on our social media platforms:Facebook   Instagram   TwitterAnd remember sometimes you may have to BITE YOUR TONGUE!Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Today we are rewinding and sharing a holiday episode we loved.  We interview Jane Isay. She is the author of the book Walking on Eggshells, Navigating the Delicate Relationships between Adult Children and Parents. She is a New Yorker from birth and gets right to the point.Have you had enough togetherness during the holidays? "Shut the door," she says. How about when the kids come home, how to make them happy? "Give them the keys!"And, wait until you hear what she said about her son who was Chief of Staff for Chuck Schumer's first senatorial campaign.  And just as a hint - it references Al D'Amato!!!! We hope you laugh out loud with this episode and love Jane as much as we did.Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Support us  P L E A S E!Buy us a coffee:  LINK HERE (only 5 BUCKS and it means alot!) Buy a mug:  LINK HEREHoliday gift giving?  Think about getting something from Shapermint.  Lots of great items for your or those you are gifting!    Use this link and just put biteyourtongue (one word) in the CODE at checkout.Follow up on our social media platforms:Facebook   Instagram   TwitterAnd remember sometimes you may have to BITE YOUR TONGUE!Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Don't Bite Your Tongue -- that is what today's guest says!  "Silence does not build intimacy."  Today Denise and Ellen interview Dr. Ruth Nemzoff, the author of the book "Don't Bite Your Tongue: How to Foster Rewarding Relationships with your Adult Family."Dr. Nemzoff claims it is better not to bite your tongue. Bringing up important topics builds intimacy, but there is a right and a wrong way to do it. And she gives us the scoop.We discuss how to feel confident raising issues of importance, as well as saying "good-bye" to our fantasies and "hello" to reality.We also talk about short and long visits with our adult kids -- how to handle it, how long is too long and more! Perfect for the holidays!She's a breath of fresh air, a brilliant woman that has walked the walk who provides us with a pathway to follow.Some things we talk about:Learning the tools to keep talking - so they will listenFiguring out our relevance as parents to adult children - no longer in chargeHow to feel confident raising issues of importanceWe cannot be close to our children if we don't communicate the things that are importantLetting go is not the solution!Goodbye to fantasy and hello to reality - let go of your dreams Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher - our audio engineer!Support us  P L E A S E!Buy us a coffee:  LINK HEREBuy a mug:  LINK HEREFollow up on our social media platforms:Facebook   Instagram   TwitterAnd remember sometimes you may have to BITE YOUR TONGUE!Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Today Ellen and Denise are talking to Ellie and Carrie Monahan.  They are sisters and as some of you might know they are the daughters of Katie Couric, an American journalist and author.  They just started a podcast and I listen to every Friday when they drop episodes. The title is: “All Each Other Has.” We love listening to the voices of these young adults - Ellie (a millennial ) and Carrie (on the Gen Z cusp).   The first SIBLING RELATIONSHIPS.  They explain that the podcast is titled - “All Each Other Has,” because their mother always told them -- “Be nice to each other – you are all each other has.”   And as parents of adult children, we all want our children to be close to their siblings because as they say: "you are all each other has."They tell us their journey to being close (it was not always that way) and the role the death of their father Jay Monahan , who died when Ellie was five and Carrie was two-year-old. Also the week before the interview, their mother announced that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer.  We also discuss how it feels to add a stepfather into your life as a young adult.   They give some good advice on how to break the "marriage" news to your young adult children and what it is like to have your single parent dating!  They are very bright insightful young women.  We think you will like this.Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Support us  P L E A S E!Buy us a coffee:  LINK HEREBuy a mug:  LINK HEREFollow up on our social media platforms:Facebook   Instagram   TwitterAnd remember sometimes you may have to BITE YOUR TONGUE! Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.