Bite Your Tongue: The Podcast

Struggling with your adult kids?  Are they about to cut you out of their lives or you just want to build a stronger relationship?  We cover it all in this episode, where we speak with Dr. Joshua Coleman about two of his books:When Parents Hurt: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don't Get Along Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties and How to Heal the ConflictDr. Coleman speaks with us about the shift in culture and parenting that has led to an alarming increase in adult children choosing to be estranged from one or both of their parents. These children are quick to blame parents for everything they see as not working in their own lives or holding them back from the life they want.With Dr. Coleman, we explore reasons behind that shift and the effects of how parents can and should respond for less conflict. How do we navigate estrangement from our adult children? Can we avoid it? And who is in the driver’s seat?Dr. Coleman shares his own personal experience with an adult child who chose to be estranged for a period of time, and how he was able to navigate that experience.Most importantly, Dr. Coleman shares the importance of taking care of ourselves through parenting our adult children while acknowledging that our relationships with our adult children may not be what we imagined.We welcome Kirsten Heckendorf, mother of three adult children as our guest host.A huge thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Write to us at biteyourtonguepodcast@gmail.com and let us know your questions and ideas for episodes!Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee for $5 and it will make a huge difference. #expectations #realizations #takingthehighroad #parentingadults #parenting #adults#mentalhealthSupport the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Today we speak with Kimberly Damon.  Kim, a certified life coach who wears a multitude of hats. Kim discusses the importance of finding a lesson in everything, practicing self-reflection and embracing acceptance. These themes highlight the transformative power of personal growth and understanding in relationships, particularly between parents and their adult children.Kim shares her own journey of experiencing estrangement with her children and parents, which compelled her to seek solutions and mend these fractured relationships.  She helps us learn to take responsibility for our own happiness and healing our emotions, while also recognizing that we are not alone in our struggles.We also talk about negative thoughts and how we sometimes develop these about ourselves or our relationships with our adult kids.  How to take charge of these thoughts and realize that sometimes they may not necessarily be true. This can lead to negative emotions and inaccurate perceptions of our circumstances.I promised a link to the video Kim's Empty Nest Conference where Denise was interviewed.  Link here to view.Here is a link to Kim’s website, her podcast, Midlife Worthy Moms;  and her work as an Enneagram Coach. Kim is also offering a FREE Thriving Workbook and 3-Part Video.  Just visit this link to sign up.Thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher our audio engineer. Email us at biteyourtonguepodcast@gmail.com and let us know what you think.Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com to support us for as little as $5 andFollow up on our social media platforms:  Facebook   Instagram   TwitterAnd remember sometimes you have to BITE YOUR TONGUE!Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

 On Mother's Day 2023, my daughter Catie sent me a link to a book and wrote, "the author and her mom would make great guests on your podcast."The book “What to Do When I’m Gone, A Mother’s Wisdom to her Daughter” sparked my interest. I ordered the book and loved it. I told my daughter I would love to do an episode with the authors of this book - as long as she was the guest co-host.  She agreed.So here we are, two adult children and two mothers talking about death.We talk to illustrator/writer Hallie Bateman and her mom, retired journalist Suzy Hopkins on navigating the world without the person who gave you life. We discuss the sometimes difficult relationships with mothers and daughters, preserving memories and family history and the ups and downs of their collaboration.It's a funny, fun and thoughtful episode that I think anyone with adult sons or daughters would enjoy. Hallie tells us that many readers wrote that the book inspired them to build stronger relationships with their sons, daughters, relatives, friends – even pets.And they have another book on the way - What to Do When You Get Dumped! Suzy shares the personal story that inspired this book.Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher our audio engineer.  Write to us at biteyourtonguepodcast@gmail.com and let us know your questions and ideas for episodes! Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5 you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee for $5 and it will make a huge difference. Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

In this episode, we talk to Dr. Laurence Steinberg about his new book - You and Your Adult Child:  How to Grow Together During Challenging Times.He brings us a whole new perspective. Touted as the first comprehensive guide for parents navigating the crucial decades of their children's lives, we explore everything so many issues. We delve into the complexities of the parent-adult child relationship and discuss the challenges and changes that come with this stage of life.Steinberg shares valuable insights on topics such as setting boundaries, fostering autonomy, and navigating financial support. We explore the impact of societal changes on the parent-adult child dynamic and how to build a positive relationship during this crucial phase.It's a must-listen for anyone seeking to strengthen their relationship with their adult children or gain a deeper understanding of this unique stage of life.We cover many topics ranging from  whether you should be involved in your child’s college education, how to behave when they unexpectedly must move back home, how to state your opinion on their romantic partners, what to do when you disagree with the way they are raising their own child, and what parameters to apply if you want to give them money for a specific reason.  Steinberg helps us understand the challenging climate our young adult children are navigating and how we can be supportive yet not intrusive.  He offers some real tools and new ideas about navigating this journey.  Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher our audio engineer.  Write to us at biteyourtonguepodcast@gmail.com and let us know your questions and ideas for episodes! Also remember to follow us on Facebook and Instagram. And once again, with just a donation of $5, you can help us keep going!  Visit our website at biteyourtonguepodcast.com and select SUPPORT US.  You can buy a "virtual" cup of coffee for $5 and it will make a huge difference. Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

It's June and that is typically wedding season.  So we thought we'd combine our two wedding episodes into one BEST OF THE BEST.  You will hear first from fAleigh Huston-Lyons, a therapist and coach at AisleTalk: Consultation & Therapy.  A boutique practice devoted to helping brides and grooms cope with the stresses that arise during wedding planning and anticipation of marriage. From engagement and finances to the invite list and drama, Aleigh puts in all in perspective. Social media has taken a toll on weddings and learn how Aleigh gives some sound advice on keeping it all under control.Next we welcome Michelle Martinez, who is not only a Certified Wedding Consultant, with more than 20 years in the wedding and events industry, but also the creator and host of the world's mosts popular wedding podcast - The Big Wedding Planning Podcast. With 300 episodes under her belt and nearly three million downloads, she's been around the block a few times!It seems to all come back to what Julie Dolan told us in our grand-parenting episode about being the loving and loyal servant.If you are in the stages of wedding planning and don't have the budget for a big time wedding planner, Michelle now offers a masterclass on her website.  A tiny percent of what a full wedding planner would cost.  Check it out her Master Class offer here.Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher our audio engineer who did her very best in editing, cutting and splicing these two episodes together! Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

It's Pride Month and we are taking a second look at the LGBTQ+ community.We have two guests.  The first is Linda K. Reeves,  a licensed marriage and family therapist certified as a gender specialist by the  World Professional Association for Transgender Health.  She is the founder of Linda K. Reeves Therapy. Her therapy utilizes her clinical  skills in the treatment of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, gender non-binary, questioning, and queer identified individuals.  Her recent article in Good Housekeeping, "How to Support Your LGBTQ+ Kid When He, She or They Come Out," got our attention.  We talk to her about this and well as what it means for a young person to come out to their family and friends.  We discuss how to respond to your child or friend and what to say and what not to say.  We also talk about the current continued discrimination against the LGBTQ+ community, We switch gears entirely when we welcome a Tik-Tok sensation - JannaTransMomma.   (she explains the unusual spelling of mamma).  Janna is a a single mom to a trans child named Cody.  She’s been identified as a key influencer on Tik-Tok (love it or hate it) for making a real difference for trans youth.  She gives us a quick 101 lesson on what it means to be transgender, how to support your child and/or friends or family.  Janna shares some of the scary statistics about trans people and suicide.  Acceptance, she says, will save a life. She is honest about the mistakes she made on her journey and is funny, delightful and very knowledgeable.  She shares these sites for additional resources:   Pflag:  plfag.org Rainbow Youth Project : RainbowYouthProject.org and Uplift Outreach Center:  UpliftOutreachCenter.orgThanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Support us :  Visit Biteyourtonguepodcast.com for many ways to keep us going!Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Welcome back to THE most downloaded episode of Season 2.  Our guest today, one of the foremost experts who studies how individuals and families develop and change throughout their lives, tells us that as we age, we regret not reconciling with family members we may be estranged or distant from. Today we welcome Dr. Karl Pillemer, Professor of Human Development at Cornell University, where he is also a faculty member in Cornell’s medical school. He is the author of the book: “Fault Lines, Fractured Families and How to Mend Them.” He is the author of several other remarkable books about love, relationships and aging.We are also welcoming a guest host - Stacie Lavato. Stacie is a long-time listener and reached out to us after we dropped the episode on understanding LGBTQ+ with Levi Teachey and Stacey Shigaya.  She wrote such a heartwarming email and the two of us connected.  Then, I learned that Stacy produces her own podcast called “Mindful Mama Conversations,” I listened to a few, and I liked her topics and her style, so I asked her to join me.The biggest “ah ha” moment for Stacie and I is when Dr. Pillemar mentioned “intergenerational stake.” We both had never heard of this - but it makes perfect sense. It is the generational bias in parents' and adult children's perceptions of their joint relationship.   Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer. Support us  P L E A S E! Buy us a coffee:  LINK HERE Buy a mug: LINK HEREListen on: Apple Podcasts   Spotify or wherever you find your fav podcasts!Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Happy Mother’s Day!   Today we are joined by two amazing moms with great advice for keeping our relationships with our adult children healthy, fun and spirited.    Also listen for some special Mother’s Day messages of support and advice from some young adults!  This will be an episode that will get you thinking, make you smile and lift you up.   We hope you enjoy it!  Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer. Support us  P L E A S E! Buy us a coffee:  LINK HERE Buy a mug:  LINK HERE Great Deal for Listeners! Denise's favorite shape-wear company.  Denise particularly LOVES their best selling Truekind Daily Comfort Wireless Bra.  "It holds you up and is so comfortable.  I am hooked - truly," says Denise.  There are also camis, underwear, leggings and much more! Use this link and just put biteyourtongue (one word) in the CODE at checkout.Support the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

Street Interviews with Young Adults and Parents from Around the World!As the old saying goes, “the best laid plans of mice and men oft go astray.” That is exactly what happened.Denise's plan to visit Ellen in Prague took a turn when Ellen, then in Boston, tested positive for COVID just a few days before her planned trip to Prague for Denise's arrival.She thought she might join a few days later if she tested negative, but her mother, who lives in Wisconsin, took a fall and Ellen went to take care of her.  Denise and her husband, Kevin, spent 10 days in Prague in Ellen’s apartment... sadly, without Ellen. The episode we had planned, about Ellen's book, had to be cancelled!So, today we are sharing street interviews with parents and adult children that Denise conducted in Prague. We interviewed people from Germany, New Zealand, Great Britain, the US and more. We also include some interviews from New York City’s Central Park. We learned pretty quickly that some of the struggles parents have with their adult children are global issues. You will have to listen to learn more - it’s a fun episode!Thank you to Connie Gorant Fisher, who took what we gave her and made the episode quite special and unique.Support us  P L E A S E!  Buy us a coffee:  LINK HERE. Buy a mug:  LINK HEREFollow up on our social media platforms:  Facebook   Instagram   TwitteSupport the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK. 

This episode digs deep.  Today we interview Daniel Maté,  who, with his father  Dr. Gabor Maté has been holding  highly engaging and popular workshops called “Hello Again - A Fresh Start for Parents and Their Adult Children." He points out that they do not call their workshops "a happy ending," instead it is a "fresh start."  Everyone's fresh start will look different and he talks about how to get there. Dr. Maté, Daniel's father is a renowned speaker and author who, as his website says: "weaves together scientific research, case histories, and his own insights and experience to present a broad perspective that enlightens and empowers people to promote their own healing and that of those around them."And that is what we hear from Daniel today.  How they work with parents and adult children and sort carefully this "intense, speedy relationship."  "Once you are an adult," he says, your relationship with your parents is a choice...that comes with risks, rewards and pitfalls."  This is not an episode with "answers," this is an episode to truly get you to think and examine so many aspects of yourself, your child-rearing and your adult children.   This episode will help you realize what is possible.Read more about Daniel and his father's book, the New York Times best selling book “The Myth of Normal.”   Link to Daniel's Mental Chiropractic Service and as an award-winning composer, lyricist, and playwright for musical theatre don't miss his podcast  --  Let’s Get Lyrical. Thanks so much to Connie Gorant Fisher, our audio engineer.Support us  P L E A S E!   Buy us a coffee:  LINK HEREBuy a mug:  LINK HERESupport the show  The site and podcast do not contain any medical/health information or advice. The medical/health information is for general information and educational purposes only and is not suitable for professional device. Accordingly, before taking any actions based upon such information, we encourage you to consult with the appropriate professionals. We do not provide any kind of medical/health advice. THE USE OF OR RELIANCE OF ANY INFORMATION CONTAINED ON THE SITE OR PODCAST IS SOLELY AT YOUR OWN RISK.