Real Men Feel with Andy Grant

Before we get going, I want to warn everyone that we will discuss suicide attempts today. If you are in crisis right now - please get help. Text or call 988 in the US. Help is available 24 hours a day. For other countries, visit https://findahelpline.com/ for options near you. The goal of this episode is that our shared experiences as suicide attempt survivors offers hope and encouragement to others, to you. We also want to raise awareness about the importance of mental health and suicide prevention. The World Health Organization estimates that 800,000 people die by suicide each year. That number is undoubtedly underreported. In 2020, it is estimated that 1.2 million people attempted to end their life, and what isn't talked about enough is that millions of people go on to live full, healthy lives after attempts. My guest today is Herbie Mack. Herbie was born and raised in the South Bronx of New York, where he saw drug abuse and gang violence and experienced family trauma that caused him depression as a child, teenager, and adult. This led Herbie to become a functional alcoholic for over 11 years due to his inability to express his emotions effectively. Herbie was unaware of the signs of suicide ideation, which led to him attempting suicide multiple times. After his last attempt and years of healing, he decided not to keep his suicide attempts to himself. Topics and Questions 2:26 - Why multiple attempts? 3:20 - What were you trying to end? 4:00 - How do you define a suicide attempt? 5:28 - Herbie's story. 10:43 - Andy's experience. 13:38 - Forgiveness was the hardest thing. 16:45 - A cry for help. 19:52 - Did you need to experience multiple attempts? 22:03 - How long has it been since your last attempt? 22:17 - Do the thoughts return for you? 23:30 - How do you keep hope and healing after your attempt? 25:06 - What's the best part of being alive? 26:10 - Any advice for someone who has made an attempt and is alone? 27:40 - Any tips for someone who has found a loved one who made a suicide attempt? 28:40 - Andy's seven tips following an attempt. 30:42 - The weakest thing. 35:36 - Tell me about your podcast. 37:22 - Herbie asks Andy how his road to recovery was. 43:43 - What's the best way for people to learn more and connect with you? Links Herbie Mack -- https://herbiemack.com/ Recommended Books: 200 Powerful Positive Affirmations Vol1, Volume 2, and Still Here: How To Succeed in Life After Failing at Suicide. Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast: Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @andyfgrant Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Podcast Website | re

A semi-regular feature of Real Men Feel is Regular Guy Chats. That is when I have a conversation with an average dude with nothing to promote, just a willingness to share. The first Regular Guy Chat of 2023 features Anthony Scire. Like most men, Anthony wears many hats; personal trainer, father, husband, friend, mentor, and outdoor enthusiast, to name a few. In my experience, Anthony is, first and foremost, a good man. We discuss Anthony's experiences growing up, encountering the "man box," the ManKind Project, and wanting to be a better man. We explore doing the hard inner work, honesty, integrity, authenticity, humor, and being of service. Anthony shares a number of books that have helped him and what he's learned about himself after feeling disappointed by other men. Topics and Questions 1:16 - What prompted you to get involved with the ManKind Project? 2:59 - How did you learn what it means to be a man? 4:43 - What led you to realize that this conditioning wasn't bringing out the best in you? 5:46 - What makes the difficult inner work worth it to you? 6:53 - Is it harder to be honest with yourself or with others? 8:08 - What are some of your best skills? 10:22 - How do you know you are a good husband and father? 12:21 - Why does service matter to you? 16:43 - What are you proud of? 18:15 - What is one thing you wish more men knew? 19:22 - Can you share a habit, book, or practice that has helped you? 21:49 - What man had the biggest impact on you? 23:10 - What was the root of your disappointment in men? 26:55 - Is that pattern of being disappointed driving you to be better? 29:25 - Is there some end state of a perfect man to reach? 28:23 - What are you looking forward to? 30:06 - Anything else you want to share? 32:22 - What's the best way for people to learn more and connect with you? "I want to be that person I didn't have. A better human, a better man." - Anthony Scire Links Anthony Scire -- https://www.anthonyscire.com/ Recommended Books: No More Mr. Nice Guy, Iron John, The Wonder of Boys, Do Hard Things, and The Talent Code Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast: Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @andyfgrant Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related! YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

This episode asks the big questions; what drives us, inspires us, and makes us push for more than just our basic needs to be met? So please sit back, turn on your black light and get deep with us. My guest is J. Malik, a spiritual teacher, author, and speaker who emphasizes the importance of spiritual alignment in our careers, relationships, and finances. His mission is to empower men (and women) to develop healthy and prosperous relationships. His personal journey of spiritual development inspired him to share his insights as a mystic and teach others the 'science and math' of spirituality often lost in modern religion. Malik advocates for men to embrace their masculinity, leadership, and success so that women can be safe to operate in their femininity and creative flow and not from survival mode. We discuss widening the possibilities within the man box and dig into the alleged privileges of being male. Our conversation explores the danger of group identities and separation and the gifts of discipline, brotherhood, and men inspiring other men to be better. Topics and Questions 1:16 - Have you always been interested in spirituality and mystical subjects? 1:49 - Is that true for every problem? 2:23 - Tell me about your upbringing. 3:32 - Do you think a man can connect and own his masculinity without connecting with his spirituality? 6:28 - Science keeps catching up with spirituality. 8:45 - What are some things that keep men from embracing their masculinity? 13:20 - Pushing the boundaries of the Man Box. 20:27 - Many successful women take on distorted masculine energies, aka pink masculinity. 28:00 The problem with so many groups and labels. 28:52 - What are some spiritual truths you wish more people know? 36:22 - How does one begin to embrace authentic masculinity? 40:52 - What sort of fears do you see driving men? 47:50 - What's the best way for people to learn more and connect with you? "I haven't come across any human problem that doesn't eventually get to a spiritual root." - J. Malik Links J. Malik -- https://www.jmalikteachings.com/ Check out The Divine Masculine Handbook - https://amzn.to/3kQwyj9 Connect with Malik on Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook. Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast: Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @andyfgrant Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related! YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

The introduction of this episode may give you flashbacks to high school English classes, but you'll be fine. Today we explore the power of making a choice; choosing to see the light, being of service, and improving all that you can. My guest is Christian de la Huerta, a sought-after spiritual teacher, personal transformation coach, and leading voice in the breathwork community. He has traveled the world offering inspiring and transformational retreats combining psychological and spiritual teachings with lasting and life-changing effects. His new book, Awakening the Soul of Power, has won multiple awards and was described by Gloria Estefan as "a balm for the soul of anyone searching for truth and answers to life's difficult questions." We explore choice, empowerment, and freedom. Christian sees heroism in pausing, taking a breath, and choosing your action instead of automatic reactions. There is tremendous heroism in doing the inner work, facing our demons and shadows instead of numbing out and self-medicating. Do not underestimate the courage it takes to own and share our feelings. Christian shares the tool he finds best for healing past trauma effectively and quickly. We discuss the need to update the traditional roles of men, including the provider and the explorer. The conversation also touches on our conflicted relationship with power. Topics and Questions 2:02 - The opportunity at the dawn of each new year to make a choice. 3:24 - You write about personal power and heroism. Have you always felt your heroic self? 4:30 - Tell me about your upbringing. 6:08 - How do you define heroism? 10:17 - The react and regret cycle. 12:11 - Every emotion will be felt. 12:30 - What does it mean to be a man in the 21st century? 13:58 - What is the healthiest way to express masculinity? 17:17 - The Explorer role 18:05 - What does soulful power mean? 22:38 - What are some examples of being in that soulful power? 25:35 - Is there any ideal first step to switch from egoic power to soulful power? 26:24 - What helped you to go within when you first wanted to make changes? 27:59 - Andy's experience with Holotropic Breathwork. 30:42 - A shared experience of self-sabotage in high school. 37:00 - Awakening the Soul of Power is Book 1 in your Calling All Heroes series. Can you share anything about what's to come? 39:47 - What's the best way for people to learn more? Links Christian de la Huerta -- https://soulfulpower.com Check out Awakening the Soul of Power - https://amzn.to/3wjOUf2 See Andy's book, Healing & Mystical States Are Just a Breath Away - https://amzn.to/3QT7owi Watch Christian's TEDx Talk, The Power of Breath - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLAziEkvUT8 Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit https://theandygrant.com/talk Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/realmenfeelshow/ & https://www.instagram.com/theandygrant/ Personal Website | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Podcast Website | http://realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related! YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel

As we are still in the early days of the new year of 2023, ideally - there's lots of introspection, planning, hope, and possibilities to make this year your greatest yet! Let's explore allowing life to drive the show instead of our ego. This week's guest is Dr. Morgan Oaks, a transformational speaker, chiropractor, and high-performance coach focused on men elevating their greatness. His tools include NLP, shamanic healing, and energy work. He believes in listening to our intuition to take inspired action. Dr. Morgan blends ancient wisdom with the tools of modern transformation to bring synergy to healing and personal growth. Morgan shares his journey of waking up spiritually by being curious, uncovering his intuition, trusting synchronicity, and taking inspired action to fuel his desire to help heal the world. Call it gut instinct, hunches, or anything else; intuition shows up as subtle hints, but the more you trust it by listening and acting accordingly, the louder and more precise it can grow. Morgan shares a few simple yet powerful ways to cultivate your intuition. We discuss the importance of curiosity and slowing down. As well as enjoying the journey and handling the one constant in life; change. Topics and Questions 1:04 - I see a common theme in all you do of being of service. Is that something that's always been important to you? 2:37 - Did you only realize you were missing service once you experienced it? 4:57 - I've met some chiropractors who are very spiritual and others that are very mechanical. Is that more the individual than the training? 6:30 - What got you to take part in the healing ceremony? 8:04 - Is that ceremony experience what prompted you to learn more about energy work? 9:50 - Had you been conscious of your intuition before that? 10:27 - In hindsight, what do you think was the big trigger for your awakening? 14:55 - How do you define intuition? 19:58 - What are some ways to cultivate our intuition? 22:15 - What are some keys to men creating their best lives? 24:22 - Using clarity as a crutch. 25:50 - Being spiritual and physical. 30:01 - Can you share a habit, practice, program, or book that has helped you? 34:14 - What are you looking forward to? 35:41 - What's the best way for people to learn more? "I believe the universe is conspiring in our favor, but it can't help us unless we take action." - Dr. Morgan Oaks Links Dr. Morgan Oaks -- https://drmorganoaks.com Check out Morgan's Men's Retreat in Mexico! - https://www.drmorganoaks.com/mexico Recommended book: The Alchemist Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast: Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrant Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related! YouTube | Real Men Feel

I have yet to meet anyone who hasn't suffered some form of trauma. It seems that the human experience was made to include trauma. Trauma doesn't just mean physical abuse, sexual abuse, and war. It can be more minor things like not having all your needs met at any point in childhood. The simplest definition of trauma is anything too high in magnitude for you to deal with at the time. My guest today, Greg Wieting, helps leaders and entrepreneurs heal anxiety, depression, chronic pain, and trauma so they can lead with bold and courageous hearts. For two decades, he's helped hundreds of clients reduce or eliminate their dependence on antidepressants, anxiety, pain, and sleep meds. He addresses the unresolved trauma that causes inflammation, compromises immune function, stagnates emotion, fogs thought, and creates hormonal imbalance. He is the founder of PRISMA – a framework overlaying trauma, neuroscience, and energy medicine with somatic and mindfulness-based practices. He developed this while healing his anxiety, depression, and chronic pain rooted in trauma. This included unraveling a severe spinal curvature and standing three inches taller today! We explore attachment wounding, unmet needs, and unresolved trauma. As well as the benefits of energy medicine and trying things you've never heard of. Topics and Questions 1:52 - Tell me a bit about your experience with trauma growing up. 7:23 - I'm not a random collection of chemicals 7:50 - Is the state of being overwhelmed different for each person? 9:54 - What was your chronic pain caused by? 12:48 - What were some of the first things you did that helped and gave you hope? 16:41 - What are some common mistakes regarding trauma and healing? 20:21 - Can all trauma be healed? 23:14 - How does energy medicine work? 26:01 - Animals can physically shake things off. Do you think humans were ever like that? 28:54 - Tell me more about PRISMA. 32:44 - Is there anything you wish you had learned at a younger age? 34:36 - Your spine straightened out on its own? 36:02 - Can you share a habit, practice, program, or book that has helped you? 40:12 - What are you looking forward to? 41:37 - What's the best way for people to learn more? "I think healing is developing a really robust, compassionate relationship from ourselves to ourselves." - Greg Wieting Links Greg Wieting -- https://gregwieting.com Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast: Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @andy_grant Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related! YouTube | Real Men Feel

I believe everybody has a mission, a calling, a purpose to their life, and part of life's great joy or frustration is discovering that. I don't recommend my path, which was multiple suicide attempts before I finally got there must be a better way, and I began doing the inner work. Today we are diving into purpose! My guest today is men's mentor Cooper Heller. Cooper is a personal trainer, nutritionist, and life coach who helps men clarify their purpose, upgrade their physical health, and develop a winning mindset. Cooper shares how an injury in high school upended his seemingly perfect life. He became addicted to opioids, overweight, and severely depressed. After discovering the importance of nutrition and mindset in his recovery, Cooper saw tremendous improvements in his outlook and life. He launched his first company in college, focusing on fitness, nutrition, and mindset. We explore purpose, fulfillment, spirituality, divinely orchestrated events, and much more. Topics and Questions 1:10 - Tell me a bit about what happened to you in high school. 5:19 - What was your mood and mindset like before your accident? 5:50 - Was purpose something you thought about while growing up? 6:22 - How important is mindset to having a fulfilling life? 7:11 - What was telling you there was something more? 8:25 - Is purpose static, or does it change over time? 8:55 - What do you say to someone who thinks "it is completely possible to live an amazing, fulfilling life and do what you love to do." is complete bull shit? 10:36 - Any suggestions for people to help discover or clarify their purpose? 13:49 - Most of what we worry about in our youth doesn't matter. 14:48 - "If you don't have adversity, you aren't living much of a life. You are flatlining." - Bob Proctor 15:34 - Is one of the biggest hurdles to purpose believing you have one? 17:21 - Is there one more thing you wish more men knew about purpose? 17:56 - The lie of "trying." 18:32 - Can you share a habit, practice, program, or book that has helped you? 19:27 - Do you have any insights on choosing a good mentor? 21:26 - Is purpose only in vocation or career? 21:53 - What are some signs that you are in alignment with your purpose? 23:44 - What man had the biggest impact on you? Tell me about him. 24:57 - What are you most proud of? 26:07 - Do you still have a connection with friends from before your accident? 27:10 - What are you looking forward to? 28:25 - What is the best way for people to learn more about your work? 28:45 - The ego trip of working with a young man as a mentor. "The only true failure in life is not striving for why you're here." - Cooper Heller Links Cooper Heller -- https://www.instagram.com/cooperbheller Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast: Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @andy_grant Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related! YouTube | Real Men Feel

A couple of days ago, I came across an Instagram post from an account called awake_spiritual, and it was a picture of Dwayne Johnson - The Rock, and it was called Things I Know at Age 45 That I Wish I Knew at 22. It had a list of 14 such things. I don't believe this is anything The Rock said, but maybe it is. It got me thinking about what I would tell my 22-year-old self. I had a few items right away and let my brain simmer with them for a bit. I've got five, and then I'll also share all 14 that the IG post mentioned too. What I would tell my 22-year-old self: Life is good. --- I thought life sucks, then you die. Life is good, and you are worthy of joy. Nothing, I repeat, NOTHING you are worried about ends up mattering much at all. The only definition of what it means to be a man that matters is yours. Whatever you are doing, that's what a man does. Action cures fear. Do the things you're afraid of. You can be right, or you can be happy. Please choose happy. Maybe you agreed with most, maybe with none. I don't care. I do care that you take a few minutes to think about this for yourself. What would you tell 22-year-old you? Or if you are a young man, what would you tell your 16-year-old self? Don't let the ages mentioned be your excuse not to do this. Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast: Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @andy_grant Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Let's Talk - visit https://theandygrant.com/talk Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related! YouTube | Real Men Feel

WARNING: This episode discusses suicidal thoughts and attempts. If you are in crisis, do not listen to this episode. Please call or text 988 to be connected to trained counselors that are part of the National  Suicide Prevention Lifeline network. https://988lifeline.org If you are outside of the US, please search for suicide prevention in your country. https://support.google.com/websearch/answer/11181469 Last November - 2021 - I stopped doing all the positive things in my life. I chose to dive straight into depression, solitude, and misery. I stopped doing this podcast. I stopped leading men's groups. I stopped being open to new coaching clients. I stopped exercising. I stopped every positive daily ritual I've developed over the years. The exact circumstances of what started this dark period aren't important because there is always something we can focus on to our detriment. This life can be heaven or hell; it comes down to us; our outlook, perception, thinking, judgment, and actions. I took minimal action for months. I wanted to remind you and myself where I was a year ago because of the rapid change, resilience, support, and positive energy that is available to all of us - but not until we are willing to accept it. Whenever you feel like shit, if you are under siege by your own thoughts saying you should check out of life early - do something for somebody. Make some effort of service for another human being. I find that always changes my mood and outlook. Life is good. You are good. Please allow yourself to feel that truth. If you need daily reminders to be of service, to share yourself, and better your mood - I recently discovered Do Good December - a monthly calendar of simple things you can do to spread more love and kindness. I've posted it to Real Men Feel Facebook and IG pages, and I'll make sure it is part of this episode's post on RealMenFeel.org if you want to track it down. Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast: Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @andy_grant Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related! YouTube | Real Men Feel

My returning guest today is Dr. Avrum Weiss. Dr. Weiss is a psychotherapist, award-winning author, speaker, and teacher. His decade-long work on understanding the inner lives of men culminated with his recently published bestseller "Hidden in Plain Sight: How Men's Fears of Women Shape Their Intimate Relationships." We talk about what a man's lack of sexual desire means for a relationship and the root causes of that low desire. Learn what men are taught about sex that harms our relationships and how not to see sex as a performance. "Think of foreplay as starting the minute you open your eyes in the morning" ~Dr. Avrum Weiss Too many men ignore their sexual desires and use sex as validation and reassurance. Sex is about more than orgasm. Men often get a bad rap as being selfish lovers, but your pleasure does matter. Topics and Questions 1:50 Is there a particular fear that men have of women, or are there lots of them? 2:50 - The reason behind low sexual desire in men. 4:15 - Why are men so preoccupied with women's orgasms? 6:55 Men are not experiencing a whole lot of pleasure in sex. 10:23 - If men's fear of women goes back to Adam and Eve, is that just how it is? 11:49 - Do men cover up their distress from women? 12:21 - How do men go over this sense of competition in sex? 14:43 - How do we get men and women to understand each other better? 15:24 - What are men afraid of related to sex? 17:27 - Is monogamy an artificial creation? 20:07 - Humans are driven by fear. 20:52 - Do women and men see sexual issues or challenges the same way? 22:34 - Cultural differences around the world. 23:22 - What is the best step for a man with low sexual desire to change that and improve his relationship? 24:33 - Is there one more thing you wish more men knew about sex? 26:48 - Don't make sex the last thing you do in a day 31:08 - What women say they learned from their mothers about men. 32:32 - What is the best way for people to learn more about your work? Links Avrum Weiss PhD -- https://www.avrumweissphd.com/ Hidden in Plain Sight: How Men's Fears of Women Shape Their Intimate Relationships -- On Amazon Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast: Interested in a Clarity Call with Andy? - visit theandygrant.com/talk Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @andy_grant Personal Website | theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info! Podcast Website | realmenfeel.org for all things podcast-related! YouTube | Real Men Feel