Superpowered Mind with Clare Dimond

Listener question: what can I do about my children's mental health? 

Listener question: I work for the NHS. So we are basically asked, on a continual basis, to ‘ fit a quart into a pint pot’ . So that is a ‘form’ problem, with a solution- another pint pot. But that is not on offer, and it is not an option to say it’s not possible and walk away, because the patients will suffer. So not sure how I can help colleagues , it looks intrinsically stressful, not just ‘ our thinking’ . As one Dr tweeted recently, it shouldn’t be the case that it feels like a luxury to be able to have a wee on a 12 hour shift. We have a range of health and well-being initiatives, but to me it feels a bit insulting when basic needs are not met, so would be grateful for any insights. I can see that not everyone finds it equally stressful, for some it’s just ‘ working in the nhs’ , but ……

Listener question: Just wasn’t clear how the cleaning up happens.  Is it the seeing, or transparency, that does the cleaning up?  I guess that’s what’s implied in your podcast, but thought I’d check if that’s what you mean.For me, every action can be seen/interpreted as self playing out, but perhaps this cleaning up subtly changes actions over time.

Listener question: I am worried about my mental health

Listener question: I listened to your podcast this morning. This concept of freeing ourselves from the illusion of the self to 'be what we really are' is something I find difficult to understand. Is it even possible to know 'what we really are' without some underpinning of what we mean by 'we'? If my concept of my 'self' - complete with all its baggage and cultural conditioning and prejudices etc - is an illusion of some kind, behind which lurks a more real, authentic entity, do we not risk falling into some kind of Cartesian duality whereby the 'who I really am' has somehow been occluded, or forgotten by the 'persona' of my conditioning? The conclusion seems to be that 'who I really am' is not my 'self' in the way that I ordinarily understand that term but something else, the proverbial 'ghost in the machine', a concept which I thought had been abandoned long ago. Can you help to clarify this a bit more?

"If there is no 'self' then what is really going on in the often critical sounding expression 'to be self-obsessed'. Is this really just a term used to point out that the mind if caught in believing there is a 'self' and is 'obsessed' with trying to examine itself. A pointless loop and hence the appearance of obsession that arises as the mind desperatly tries to find the escape route from its percieved self. When caught in apparent 'self obsession' is this something we are in control of or want to aim to avoid or is it leading us to 'gifts' ?

Listener question:what is freedom? 

Hi Clare. Now on your stress day 7 you ask to go back to our childhood. And that situation is indeed at the origin of what I still live today. As a very young child I was honest and dared to say 'No' to my grandmother who was raising me, my sister and brother while my parents worked day and night.  I was often punished and hit by my grandmother because I was not a 'nice girl'. She convinced my mother to take me to a doctor because I was not normal in her eyes. I was too lively myself and spoke freely. My mother was very afraid herself of her own mother and could not stand against her to protect me.  So I adapted myself to others - made  me small and said 'yes', just ot be 'good enough'.. I depended on the grown-up ones to  survive; to be loved  and to be worthy of getting love and attention . Later as an adult myself, I was not able to have a healthy relationship with a partner. I had 3 broken relationships with 3 men I loved. In the beginning, I adapted to them all to be loved - afterwards I revolted and felt guilty at the same time. After too much fights I was always the first to leave , because I could not stand to be left alone or to lose my loved ones . At that time my sister past away , then my brother, my father and mother. They all died and I felt completely left alone in this world. I never, ever wanted to feel this feeling again! So I chose my present partner out of security reasons. I'm not attracted to him and his behouviour irritates me terribly. But he is safe, will never hit me and never leave me. So I forced myself to stay with him - eventhough I missed really loving someone very very much. I judged myself to be weak., and tried to believe my own lies. You will learn to love him. I'm living this inner daily fight for more then 10 years now and has cost me a lot of stress and physical pain we talked about last time. I asked myself now the same question, my grandmother did years ago: what is wrong about me? Why can't I be in love with a nice man? A was for many years mad at my grandmother and worked with therapists on this. I'm not mad at her anymore. But my inner lens through which I see life hasn't changed. Clare, I'm  sorry I didn't tell you all this details the last time I wrote. I was too ashamed to tell. Can you help me to see and honour my lens? 

I wanted to reach out to you about some changes I have noticed for me lately. I am really feeling confused at the moment with feeling of stress.   1. That said I don't know if the course is a cause of stress to me or that the way my mind is flip-flopping around.  I just can't seem to focus I seem to have gone away with the fairies, The only think that is clear is that I don't feel I know who I am anymore, sometimes its like when I hear my own voice it doesn't sound like me.  The one really interesting thing that came up this week was something my epilepsy nurse said at annual appointment.  "On reflection Karen, you were experiencing such stress 5 years ago when this started......"  I would have said to you at the time I was very busy or had a lot on, I never thought I was stressed, yet from my accounts to her it seems that's exactly what was happening.  2. What can be done to help people who don't recognise that they are stressed - this has just made me think of my mum and how she always says we have to "just get things done" never did I find this harsh but it could really have fed in to that thinking. (sorry that just came to me). Have you got anything you can put on a podcast that can help me understand points 1 and 2?

This podcast is a response to a question on facebook about this comment: 'Any revelation will come in what that doing was meant to achieve for the self if anything…'