Art Creativity & Wellbeing

If you're struggling with back-to-school time, or starting-school time – I'm creating shows this month and next to help you feel better. Today's is all about homework. Over the years I've had parents share the most horrible stories about homework and their little kids, like the mom whose six-year-old received an afterschool detention for missing four homework assignments in a row. That one still makes me choke a little. Or the one about a child forced to miss recess because of a parent's failure to log in and do the required "family homework." When medical ethicist Dr. Arthur Caplan comes on this show and says "recess is a right," as he did in this episode last spring, I smile at his words. But my blood pressure goes up. Way up, at the thought of you and your young son or daughter coping with outrageous, damaging policies like these. So today I'm taking everything my own training and experience tells me, and everything the wonderful teachers and doctors and folks who really understand young children (and who've spoken up on my show) – and I'm boiling it down into three steps to help you handle crazy homework demands. Go to weturnedoutokay.com/184 for key links, and to read an outline of the three steps. Also – Click here to sign up to join the Streamline Your Mornings Free 5-Day Challenge, which I'm offering again in early October! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

With fall youth sports in full swing, I wanted to share something ugly that I witnessed last spring: a dad berating his young son, after the boy and his fellow teammates took a real drubbing, losing a soccer game big-time. In this empathy-lacking, divisive grown-up-up world, what kids learn on the soccer field seems more important and relevant than ever before; listen to today's show to find out how a parent's attitude makes or breaks a child. Click here to sign up for the upcoming Streamline Your Mornings Free 5-Day Challenge, which I'm bringing back for a second round because the first one was so effective and helpful for parents… And go to weturnedoutokay.com/183 for key links to this episode! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Back when We Turned Out Okay turned 2, I asked you all for a gift: your questions! Today I'm answering one of those questions, listener Caroline's about how to deal with medical issues in your child, and expanding out from "medical" advocacy by sharing, in the second half of today's episode, about how to advocate in other aspects of your child's life. I am so happy to bring back medical ethicist Dr. Art Caplan to address Caroline's question, "Could you possibly give some advice about dealing with stressful situations in general and medical stuff, i.e. advocating for your child?" Art outlines four key steps that parents can take when confronted with a child's illness, and in looking back I realized that those same steps would be wonderful when trying to advocate for kids in a variety of situations, socially, educationally, in addition to medically. For an outline of these four steps to advocating for your child and related key links, go to weturnedoutokay.com/182! Also – to download my free Guide to Happy Readers click here… Click here to sign up for the upcoming Streamline Your Mornings Free 5-Day Challenge, coming up October 2nd-6! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

"With kindergarten," a listener shares, "I feel like I'm about to toss her to the wolves." How are you handling the stresses of the autumn? If you've got a child starting school or preschool, or returning to school, daycare, or preschool, it can be really tough on both you and your kids. That's why today is the first of a 3-part series, the We Turned Out Okay Back-to-School Guide. Today I share the ONE thing you can do to make your child's separation anxiety better! Please note: the Streamline Your Mornings Free 5-Day Challenge is underway, and thus closed to new participants. If you want to get in on this challenge when I offer it next in October, go to weturnedoutokay.com/181 to sign up! (Go there as well for show notes and other key links to this Just You and Me Episode : ) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

It's the beginning of the school year, if you're listening in real time, and thus the time of year where we are all figuring out new routines, new bus routes, new sports schedules and after-school activities… Definitely a time where we can feel overwhelmed. Today's show answers Shelley's question: "what are the hazards of overscheduling my kids?" The way I see it, there are two big hazards in overscheduling. It's worth, whether at the beginning of the school year or whenever you hear this, understanding the dangers in putting too many items on our children's schedules. Only then can we understand the potential damage we're doing, and begin to figure out how to reduce the overscheduling. Today's episode outlines the 2 big hazards in overscheduling, so hit play and listen in! Please note: if you're feeling overwhelmed about school day morning chaos, the Streamline Your Mornings 5-Day Challenge starts in less than a week! Registration closes on Sunday, September 3, so sign up for this FREE challenge now. The challenge includes an email in your inbox outlining a step you can take to calm the overwhelm and streamline your mornings every day from Monday, September 4 through Friday, September 8. On that day you'll also have access to my Facebook live, back-to-school Ask Me Anything, happening in the private We Turned Out Okay Facebook group. For notes from today's show, for key links, and to sign up for the free Streamline Your Mornings 5-Day Challenge go to weturnedoutokay.com/180! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Are you feeling any of the following right now? Worry about busy schoolday mornings, with the chaos of everyone trying to get up/get dressed/eat/get teeth and hair brushed/get lunches/get out the door/etc.? Fears that, even though you've got a pretty good routine right now, that that could all change with one bad night or morning meltdown? Guilt at being consistently – no matter what you try – super late out the door? Helpless , as you send your child off into school, about "throwing your baby to the wolves?" If so, I've got a way for you to feel better: Join the Streamline Your Mornings 5-Day Challenge! (It starts this coming Monday, September 4 and sign-ups close the day before, Sunday, September 3.) This quick episode shares what the challenge includes and how participating in it will help you. So give it a listen – and then click here to go to weturnedoutokay.com and click the picture to join the challenge! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Today's guest, author, artist, and speaker Dan Blank, knows an awful lot about fostering creativity. As dad to a six-year-old and a new baby, he also knows the struggles that creative people go through to retain their creativity – their sanity, even – while raising children. For Dan it's a foregone conclusion: the way we humans are, right down to our very core, demands creativity. It's not something we can escape because it's part of us – everything feels off when we don't have a creative outlet. But how do we accomplish that, while we're caught up in the daily demands of work, and raising children, and everything else? That's what our conversation is all about today. I know you're going to love it! For the full show notes and key links – and to sign up for the FREE Streamline Your Mornings challenge (Click here to sign up for the challenge), which will help you get a handle on the school day morning chaos and starts this coming Monday, September 4 – go to weturnedoutokay.com/179. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Do you ever wish your kids took on more around the house? Does the prospect of getting to that point seem so overwhelming that you give up before you've even started? Today we're talking about the how to foster responsibility in kids – not an easy task! The way I see it, there are 3 things we can do to encourage responsibility in our kids. Listen to today's show to find out what they are and how to put them into practice! Also – Click here to sign up for the FREE Streamline Your Mornings challenge, taking place the first full week of September, just a few weeks away… If school day mornings feel chaotic for you, jump into the challenge, which includes daily emails from Monday, 9/4-Friday, 9/8, entry into the private We Turned Out Okay Facebook group, and the ability to come to the back-to-school Facebook live I'm hosting on the last day of the challenge! Go to weturnedoutokay.com/178 for key links and notes to this episode, and to sign up for the challenge. And have a great day! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

"My wife doesn't want me to spank them, I get it – I don't want to either but what else can I do?" These words come from a listener's email, a desperate plea to figure out how to discipline kids and keep order during the daily grind. This listener goes on to say "I got spanked, and turned out okay… I got more than spanked to tell you the truth, and I know what the constant barrage of words being screamed at me feels like. To be honest, I'd rather have had the spanking." This listener deftly identifies two things that do not work with kids: 1) a "constant barrage of words" 2) spanking. So, what do you do instead? Listen to this episode to find out! Go to weturnedoutokay.com/177 for key links, and Click here to sign up for the Streamline Your Mornings challenge, if school days are looming and those weekday mornings are looking frightening. This FREE challenge starts in just a few weeks, and once it starts the sign-ups are closed. So to make sure that you get an email every day of the challenge, entry into our We Turned Out Okay private Facebook group, and access to the Facebook live back-to-school Ask Me Anything I'll be doing on the last day of the challenge (September 8), jump in now. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Back in the early 90s, when I was a preschool teacher, I worked with two 4-year-old best friends, "Stacy," who had lovely chocolate brown skin and eyes, and "Kim," who had blonde hair and blue eyes. One day, as these two best buddies waited together in line for the bathroom, Kim innocently looked up at me and said: "I don't like black people." I was speechless – she's holding the hand of her best friend, who IS a black person, telling me how she doesn't like black people… It just did not compute. Until I realized that she did not think of Stacy as a black person; Stacy was her best friend. She did not know who "black people" were. When she said those words she was parroting the adults in her life. Metaphorically, I threw up my hands. I felt terrible, but I just did not know what to do. Should I talk to Kim's parents? Should I talk to Stacy's parents? Should I try to persuade Kim that she shouldn't feel that way about black people? In the end I did nothing, I said nothing. While I spoke of this with my fellow preschool teachers, I never took it any further than that. But it stayed with me all these years (Kim and Stacy are now in their 20s.) Maybe you watched just a few days ago with horror as a white supremacists plowed his car into a peaceful protest, killing one and injuring many – and terrifying all. Maybe you wondered what kind of a world you're raising a child in. Maybe you threw up your hands and said "what can I possibly do about this?" If so, then this bonus episode is for you. I just finished recording. I couldn't stop thinking about Kim and Stacy, and also a song from an old musical, South Pacific: You've got to be taught before it's too late/ Before you are six or seven or eight/ To hate all the people your relatives hate/ You've got to be carefully taught! I was thinking about you, and about how you maybe feel like throwing up your hands and shouting "what can I possibly do about this?" And I was thinking about Stacy, wondering how many times in her twenty-something years she's gotten the message from our society that somehow, just because of the way she looks, she is wrong, or bad, or "other." And, I was thinking about a We Turned Out Okay listener, named Kerri, who wrote back in May (when We Turned out Okay turned two) with a question: "I would like to know as a white person what I need to do to be sure my children are not contributing to the racism that is hurting so many." I recorded this episode to give us – myself, as much as anyone – a roadmap, some steps to take to build a world in which racism has no part. Four steps, to be exact; four steps we can take to build a world without racism. Four steps to help you counter the fear and negativity, four steps to help you help your child understand what racism is, and why it needs to die. Along the way I talk about a whole bunch of stuff, like a favorite Dr. Seuss book, wise words from several friends of the podcast, and child development theory to help you understand your child better. Click here to read about the four steps to a world without racism and to get links to the people and podcasts and books I reference during the episode – and thank you very much for listening, for not throwing up your hands and concluding there's nothing you can do. Because as the parent of a young child, the key to ending racism is in your hands. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe