Emancipate Your Mind

Transcript Patriarchal systems don’t just attempt to put women in their place, but also men. The system constructs a “box” that men must stay in to be considered “real men”. In this episode, my husband and Licensed Professional Counselor, Kevin Hales and I explore how limiting our ability to express ourselves as humans into stereotypical boxes of what it means to be a man (or a woman) not only creates shame and anxiety inside of us, but extends outward to affect our relationships with the people closest to us and society in general. ___________________________________________________________________JOIN THE DISCUSSION WANT TO TALK WITH KEVIN? Kevin is a licensed professional counselor at Colorado Counseling Center in Centennial and Castle Rock, Colorado. Licensed therapists in the United States can only practice in the state they are licensed in. If you’re anywhere in Colorado, Kevin would love to talk with you about religious trauma, marriage relationships, family relationships, parenting or addictions of any kind. Find him at his website here: https://www.coloradocounselingcenter.com Come join the Emancipate Yourself Facebook group to share your thoughts on today’s podcast, be a part of shaping future episodes of the podcast, and find out about how to join the LIVE Question and Answer sessions about each podcast next year. DONATE TO THE PODCAST: Want to be part of the VIP community that gets to interact with Teri weekly, ask live questions about the content, and help shape future episodes for the learning and continued healing of all listeners? Consider making a monthly tax-deductible donation at emancipateyourmind.org . Even a $1 donation each month allows us to continue growing this broadcast and unlocks all of the behind the scenes content that’s coming in 2023. ONE TO ONE COACHING WITH TERI Email: teri@emancipatedcoaching.com

Transcript Have you ever wanted to speak up and either found it difficult to open your mouth or felt horrible afterwards? Have your found yourself downplaying your authority or your experience to make others more comfortable? Does it feel like even when you do speak up, no one really hears you? In this episode, life coach and public speaking maven, Terina Maldonado, talks about how we take back our vocal power and begin practicing saying the things we yearn to say. Her holistic approach begins with learning to love and accept ourselves, learning to sit with what we really want to say and getting clear about why we want to say it, and compassionately working with any fears that come up about having the conversation. ___________________________________________________________________ WANT MORE OF TERINA? Website: https://www.terinamaldonado.com/ Self Care and Journal Workbook Free Boundaries for Holiday Joy Masterclass Instagram: @terina_maldonado Facebook: Terina Maldonado Life Coach TikTok: @terinamaldonado527 ___________________________________________________________________JOIN THE DISCUSSION Come join the Emancipate Yourself Facebook group to share your thoughts on today’s podcast and ask more questions. DONATE TO THE PODCAST: Want to support our work and keep these resources available to all who want or need them? Consider making a tax-deductible donation at emancipateyourmind.org ONE TO ONE COACHING WITH TERI Email: teri@emancipatedcoaching.com

Explore the emotional struggles resulting from the pandemic and the challenge of learned voicelessness, especially among women. The conversation delves into societal gender constructs and the pressures of being a 'super mom' in today's world. Overcoming internalized misogyny is crucial, as listeners share personal narratives that empower them to speak up. Practical advice on finding one's voice and building supportive communities is also offered, alongside an introduction to a new coaching initiative aimed at fostering personal growth and self-care.

Transcript In this episode, Reiki master, podcaster and co-star of the recent Hulu documentary “Mormon No More”, Lena Osborne, talks about the importance of listening to the wisdom of your body that comes through emotions and physical sensations and how building a relationship with that feminine wisdom already inside of us can help us shed messages from patriarchy that aren’t serving us so that we can breathe into a more expansive and free version of ourselves, no matter what gender we identify as. ___________________________________________________________________JOIN THE DISCUSSION Follow Lena on Instagram @becominglena Find out how to work with her or her wife, Sally, at their combined website When Lena Met Sally, www.sallyandlena.com Watch Lena and Sally’s incredible story on Hulu or Disney Plus, “Mormon No More”. Come join the Emancipate Yourself Facebook group to share your thoughts on today’s podcast and ask more questions. DONATE TO THE PODCAST: Want to support our work and keep these resources available to all who want or need them? Consider making a tax-deductible donation at emancipateyourmind.org

There is a prevalent myth, particularly in high demand religion, that there exists such a thing as an “ideal woman”. In Christianity, she is described in Proverbs 31. But this idea that there is a feminine “ideal” that women should strive for exists in religion from Islam to Hinduism. You’ve likely encountered this idea out in the secular world too. This ideal says that there’s a certain acceptable way to be a woman and that there are unacceptable ways to be a woman. This creates problems because we as women aren’t a monolith. We are highly individualized, complex, and even paradoxical beings. Each of us is incredibly unique. In order to give ourselves permission to whatever kind of unique expression of womanhood that we are, we must understand the subconscious programming inside of ourselves that tells us what is ok to express and what is not. Becoming fully comfortable with both our feminine and masculine traits (because YES, all humans have both) means allowing ourselves to become aware of our programming, challenge it, and begin to rewrite it. ____________________________________________________________ REFERENCES: Ana Psychology. “Why Some Women Hate Other Women”. 2020. YouTube. Atwood, Margaret. “The Robber Bride”. 1998. Dehlin, Audrianna. “Young Women’s Sexist Beliefs and Internalized Misogyny: Links with Psychosocial and Relational Functioning and Sociopolitical Behavior”. 2018. Utah State University. Fatima, Sabina. “Why Women Perpetuate Patriarchy”. 2020. Medium.com. Ferguson, Sian. “4 Common Phrases that Demonstrate Internalized Misogyny”. 2016. Everyday Feminism. Gaylor, A.L. “Why Women Need Freedom From Religion”. 1993. Freedom From Religion Foundation. Hibben, Aya. “Recognize Your Own Internalized Misogyny”. 2022. The Daily Utah Chronicle. Kapoor, Anita. “Female Misogyny”. 2013. TedX Singapore Women. YouTube. Kumar, Riya. “Breaking the Cycle: My Journey with Internalized Misogyny”. 2021. TedX Youth. YouTube. Mary. “12 Characteristics of a Godly Woman (How to Become a True Woman of God)”. 2017. Healthy Christian Home. Mehendiratta, Ashmeeta. “This Women’s Day, Let’s Kill the Good Girl Stereotype”. 2017. Youth Ki Awaaz. Mulia, Musdah. “The Characteristics of the Ideal Woman in the Quran”. 2021. Translated and adapted from a 2014 article from the Jakarta: Megawati Institute. Nadauld, Margaret D. “The Joy of Womanhood”. October, 2020. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints General Conference. Planned Parenthood. “What are Gender Roles and Stereotypes? “. Tinsley, Catherine and Ely, Robin. “What Most People Get Wrong About Men and Women: Research Shows the Sexes Aren’t So Different”. June 2018, Harvard Business Review. United Nations. “Gender Stereotyping: OHCHR and Women’s Human Rights and Gender Equality”. Young Mormon Feminists. “The Church vs. The World: Internalized Misogyny”. 2013. ___________________________________________________________________JOIN THE DISCUSSION Come join the Emancipate Yourself Facebook group to share your thoughts on today’s podcast and ask more questions. DONATE TO THE PODCAST: Want to support our work and keep these resources available to all who want or need them? Consider making a tax-deductible donation at emancipateyourmind.org

Continuing the conversation from last week about Yahweh’s connection to a mother goddess, Asherah, we progress into how she was discredited and divorced in Genesis. We also talk about the cultural and societal context that may have prompted this divorce, codifying the patriarchy into religious text that was considered direct and irrefutable truth from God for the next 2600 years. ___________________________________________________________________ REFERENCES: Allebest, Amie. Breaking Down Patriarchy Podcast. http://breakingdownpatriarchy.com/ Beau, Elle. “The History of Patriarchy”. November 11, 2018. Medium.com Eisler, Riane. “The Chalis and the Blade: Our History, Our Future.” 1987. Hastings, Christobel. “God Has Been a Woman Since the Beginning of Time”. August 17, 2018. Vice.com. Mosaic Authorship Net Age. “Creation and Goddess Symbols in Genesis 1-3”. Shrewsbury, Martin. “Asherah, Known as ‘Lady of the Sea’”. November 27, 2017. AllTooHuman.Blogspot.Com. Stockman, Susan Beth. “Daughters of Yahweh: Recovering the Deep Feminine from the Yahweh Complex”. 2015. Dissertation. Pacifica Graduate Institute. “Trees and Religion- Ancient Mesopotamia”. October 25, 2016. Arboriculture.com. Viegas, Jennifer. “God’s Wife Edited Out of the Bible– Almost”. March 18, 2011. NBCNews.com “Yahwist Source”. Editors of the Encyclopedia Brittanica. Encyclopedia Brittanica.com. ___________________________________________________________________JOIN THE DISCUSSION Come join the Emancipate Yourself Facebook group to share your thoughts on today’s podcast and ask more questions. DONATE TO THE PODCAST: Want to support our work and keep these resources available to all who want or need them? Consider making a tax-deductible donation at emancipateyourmind.org

Gerda Lerner, in her book, “The Creation of Patriarchy”, says that “patriarchy is a historical construct; it has a beginning, it will have an end.” if you grew up in Christianity, it may seem like fact that the heavens and Earth were created by a lone male god who created an order in which men rule over women because women first ate the fruit of a tree that would give them knowledge. If you were raised to believe this is true, it may seem like the patriarchal system in which we now live has always existed because the only god created it to be so. Believing this to be true, it can feel impossible to challenge such a system. But both archaeological evidence and historical evidence tell us otherwise. Patriarchy was created long after humans were. For 200,000 years humans, if they worshiped a deity at all, likely worshipped a mother goddess. Even ancient Israelites worshipped a mother goddess of equal importance to Yahweh in the Holy of Holies, new evidence suggests. Knowing this gives us power. The power to reclaim human dignity. ___________________________________________________________________ REFERENCES: Ackerman, Susan. “Asherah, Asherim: Bible”. Jewish Women’s Archive. Allebest, Amie. Breaking Down Patriarchy Podcast. http://breakingdownpatriarchy.com/ “Asherah“. Editors of the New World Encyclopedia. New World Encylopedia.com “Asherah, The Tree of Life, and The Menorah: Continuity of a Goddess Symbol in Judaism?” December 4th, 1996. The First Sophia Feminist Theology Lecture, College of St. Mark and St. John, Plymouth. Beau, Elle. “The History of Patriarchy”. November 11, 2018. Medium.com Crecganford. “Asherah, Wife of God? The Queen of Heaven, Mythology Explained“. October 17, 2020. YouTube. Dever, William G. “Asherah, Consort of Yahweh? New Evidence from Kuntillet Ajrud”. Bulletin of the American Schools of Oriental Research, No. 255 (Summer, 1984). Downey, April Lynn. “Judean Pillar Figurines”. October 1, 2020. World History Encyclopedia. Funny Olde World. “God’s Secret Wife: Asherah”. November 21, 2021. YouTube. Hasson, Nir. “Ancient Place of Worship Found Near Jerusalem Challenges Assumptions About First Temple”. February 3, 2020. Haaretz.com Hastings, Christobel. “God Has Been a Woman Since the Beginning of Time”. August 17, 2018. Vice.com. Kuntillet Ajrud Inscriptions. Mallamud, David. “Asherah as an Israelite Goddess: Debunking the Cult Object Myth”. May 9, 2016. University of Maryland. McIntosh, Matthew A. “Asherah: Ancient Canaanite Mother Goddess, Consort to Yahweh”. March 8, 2020. Brewminate.com Mosaic Authorship Pass, Rachel. “Meet Asherah: The Little Known Jewish Tree Goddess”. February 6, 2020. HeyAlma.com. Riggleman, Heather. “Why Do We Use Masculine Pronouns For God?” March 8, 2021. Christianity.com. Shrewsbury, Martin. “Asherah, Known as ‘Lady of the Sea'”. November 27, 2017. AllTooHuman.Blogspot.Com. Thornton, Christy. “‘They’ Is Not A Pronoun For God”. January 20, 2022. ChristianityToday.com “Trees and Religion- Ancient Mesopotamia”. October 25, 2016. Arboriculture.com. Viegas, Jennifer. “God’s Wife Edited Out of the Bible– Almost”. March 18, 2011. NBCNews.com “Yahwist Source”. Editors of the Encyclopedia Brittanica. Encyclopedia Brittanica.com. ___________________________________________________________________JOIN THE DISCUSSION Come join the Emancipate Yourself Facebook group to share your thoughts on today’s podcast and ask more questions. DONATE TO THE PODCAST: Want to support our work and keep these resources available to all who want or need them? Consider making a tax-deductible donation at emancipateyourmind.org

Christianity and Patriarchy have a long history together, starting with the creation mythology in the first chapter of Genesis. While the scriptural text itself, whether you read it in the original Hebrew or any other translation, has some obvious though brief patriarchal references, it’s been the 2000+ years of male, mostly European, commentary on the creation story that has cemented the deep misogyny embedded in the underpinnings of not only Christian-based high-demand religions but also Western society as a whole. ___________________________________________________________________ REFERENCES: Aquinas, Thomas. 13th Century. “Summa Theologica”. Volume 1. Question 92. Article 1. Objection 2. Read it here. Aristotle. “The History of Animals Vol IX.” Ed. Thompson, D’Arcy Wentworth. Internet Classics Archive, Massachusetts Institute of Technology, 350 BCE. Augustine. 354-430 A.D. “De Genesi Ad Literam” (The Literal Meaning of Genesis). Read it here. Baard, Rachel Sophia. “Feminist Theology and Christian Faith”. Union Presbyterian Seminary. October 8, 2020. YouTube. Benner, Jeff A. “What Is a Help Meet?”. Ancient Hebrew Research Center. Web. Brown, Wendy. “‘Supposing Truth Were a Woman…’: Plato’s Subversion of Masculine Discourse.” Political Theory 16.4 (1988): 594–616. Campbell, Beverly. “The True Meaning of ‘Help-Meet’ and What It Teaches Us About Womanhood”. LDS Living Magazine. June 26, 2019. Forde, Steven. “Gender and Justice in Plato.” The American Political Science Review 91.3 (1997): 657–70. Milne, Pamela. “Genesis from Eve’s Point of View”. The Washington Post. March 26, 2989. Padia, Chandrakala. “Plato, Aristotle, Rousseau and Hegel on Women: A Critique.” The Indian Journal of Political Science 55.1 (1994): 27–36. Plato. “The Role of Women in the Ideal State.” The Republic, Book V. Ed. Dorbolo, Jon. Oregon State. 380 BCE Tertullian. “De Cultu Feminarium (On the Apparel of Women)”. Chapter 1. 155 A.D. – 220 A.D. Wender, Dorothea. “Plato: Misogynist, Paedophile, and Feminist.” Arethusa 6.1 (1973): 75–90. Witcombe, Christopher L. C. E., “Eve and the Identity of Women.” Sweet Briar College. 2000. Web. WomenPriests.Org. “Women Were Considered Inferior Creatures”. Wijngaards Institute for Catholic Research. ___________________________________________________________________JOIN THE DISCUSSION Come join the Emancipate Yourself Facebook group to share your thoughts on today’s podcast and ask more questions. DONATE TO THE PODCAST: Want to support our work and keep these resources available to all who want or need them? Consider making a tax-deductible donation at emancipateyourmind.org

In this conversation, Kevin Hales, a speaker focused on interdependent relationships, delves into creating emotional safety for partners. He emphasizes the importance of curiosity and understanding in communication, asserting that they often matter more than the words spoken. They discuss the need for personal agency in decision-making and the art of empathetic dialogue. Kevin also highlights how judgment and past experiences can shape relationship dynamics, urging listeners to embrace radical acceptance and personal growth.

In this enlightening discussion, Kevin Hales, a licensed professional counselor specializing in couples therapy, delves into the complexities of interdependence in relationships. He highlights how healing from codependency can lead to extreme independence, both of which can be damaging. Kevin emphasizes the importance of emotional intimacy, the evolution of emotional needs, and the significance of self-love and identity in cultivating healthy connections. He also shares insights into overcoming loneliness while navigating societal pressures around relationships.