In Bed With Alexa: Have Better Sex

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with kink performer, educator, and co-founder of Hit Me Up, Hawthorne, to talk about the future of sex, switches, kink exploration, nipple clamps, and the very real phenomenon of post-nut clarity.We get into how sex parties are evolving beyond just hooking up, and why community might be the most important part of modern sexuality. From mixers and workshops to co-working spaces (yes, really), we explore how people are using these environments to build real connections, not just get laid.We also talk about:Why community comes before sex (and how that changes everything)How kink and non-monogamy have become more visible The rise of switches and why rigid dom/sub roles are fadingWhat people still get wrong about power dynamicsPost-nut clarity, what actually happens psychologically and physically after orgasm, and why so many people completely drop the ball right after they comeWhy private orgies > big parties (sometimes)How to approach people at events without being weirdThe reality of running a sex party businessThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beducate.me/pd2610-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex therapist and relationship coach Gaby Balsells to talk about emotional connection: what it actually means, why it matters, and how it directly impacts your sex life.From feeling “seen, heard, and safe” to understanding why some people need emotional connection before sex (and others after), this episode breaks down the real dynamics behind intimacy, desire, and long-term connection.Alexa and Gaby explore how disconnection happens  (even in good relationships) and how couples can rebuild it through communication, attunement, and intentional effort. They also unpack why relying on your partner as your only emotional outlet can kill attraction, and how having a “menu” of support systems actually strengthens your relationship.In this episode, we cover:What emotional connection actually meansEmotional vs physical connection and how they influence each otherWhy some people need sex to feel emotionally connectedWhy emotional safety is the foundation for intimacyReconnecting after a fight (without forcing sex)Meeting your partner in the middle instead of rejecting bids for connectionExpanding your “menu” of emotional support beyond your partnerWhy relying on your partner for everything kills attractionHow to feel connected again when life gets busyWeekly check-ins and “heart to heart” conversationsThe importance of non-sexual touchAppreciation, praise, and feeling seen in relationshipsCreating novelty (why hotel sex hits different)Why good sex doesn’t equal emotional connectionResentment as the biggest relationship killerOne-sided effort and what to do when your partner isn’t trying“We accept the love we think we deserve”Outgrowing relationships and evolving needsHow to know if a relationship is worth savingDating tips to assess emotional compatibility earlyWhy safety is essential — even in casual sexAttunement: the sexiest relationship skillThank you to the best waterproof sex blanket in the market,  Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests dry and cozy ◡̈ 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with comedian, podcaster, and host of The Manwhore Podcast, Billy Procida, to talk about humor in dating and relationships and why so many men feel the need to be the funniest person you’ve ever met.From prank culture to competitive humor between partners, Billy and Alexa unpack the difference between being funny, being fun, and trying way too hard. They discuss why some people struggle to accept being the “joke receiver,” why men can feel threatened by funny women, and why humor can help smooth conflict.In this episode we cover:Why humor matters in relationshipsThe difference between being funny vs being funWhy trying to be funny often backfiresMen feeling pressure to be the funniest person in the roomWhy some men get uncomfortable when women are funnierHumor competition in datingThe role of banter and shared humor stylesWhy prank humor often crosses the lineAccepting that you might not be the funny oneHumor as a tool to diffuse conflictDifferent types of humor compatibilityWhy forcing jokes is unattractiveHumor as part of flirting and connectionWhy being playful may matter more than being funnyThe pressure comedians face in datingDating when humor is part of your identityThank you to the best waterproof sex blanket in the market,  Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests dry and cozy ◡̈ Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beducate.me/pd2610-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with writer, sex educator, and polyamorous creator Gabrielle Alexa Noel to talk about the fantasy everyone has — and the one that goes wrong the most: threesomes.From “unicorn hunting” to couple privilege, from jealousy to communication, this episode breaks down what actually makes a threesome hot and what makes it awkward, performative, or emotionally messy.Gabby and Alexa unpack why “the third is the star of the show,” why gifting a threesome is a red flag, why kissing rules are often a dealbreaker, and why straight couples may have an easier time swapping than finding a unicorn.In this episode, we cover:The biggest communication mistakes couples makeWhy “creating safety” changes everythingKissing rules some couples have“Couple privilege and why it mattersWhy the third needs to feel specialHow to DM a third correctly (and what NOT to say)Signs a couple isn’t actually readyEmotional labor being offloaded onto the thirdWhy you should take the third on a dateWhy swapping couples may be easier than unicorn huntingJealousy and insecurity during group sexWhat to do when someone feels left outAftercare expectations and debriefsWhy porn positions aren’t realisticSTI prep, condom changes, and fluid bondingToys in threesomesSingle men’s best strategy for getting a threesomeWhy romance still matters even in casual group sexThank you to the best waterproof sex blanket in the market,  Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests dry and cozy ◡̈ 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with abortion activist and founder of the Abortion Positivity Project, Sophie Nir, for a fact-based conversation about abortion positivity, stigma, bodily autonomy, forced pregnancy, abortion bans, medication abortion, procedural abortion, and more.This episode breaks down what abortion positivity actually means: removing stigma and shame from the conversation entirely. Sophie explains why abortion bans do not reduce abortions, why 1% of abortions happening after 20 weeks is weaponized misinformation, and why “bodily autonomy does not expire at any point in pregnancy.”She also covers how to support a friend through an abortion, how to navigate abortion inside relationships, what reproductive coercion is, how medication abortion works (mifepristone + misoprostol), why abortion is overwhelmingly popular despite political narratives, and why forced pregnancy is the real moral issue.In this episode, we cover:Why shame around abortion is taught, not inherentThe difference between being “pro choice” and abortion positiveHow political language stigmatizes abortionWhy abortion access is in the worst position in 52 yearsThe myth that abortion bans reduce abortion ratesAbortion statisticsForced pregnancy as government controlMedication abortion vs procedural abortionHow mifepristone and misoprostol workAccessing abortion in restrictive states / countriesHow to support a friend having an abortionLetting go of internalized abortion shameTalking about abortion openly with friendsReproductive coercion in relationshipsPartner influence vs bodily autonomyWhy consenting to sex is not consenting to pregnancyThank you to the best waterproof sex blanket in the market,  Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests dry and cozy ◡̈ Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beducate.me/pd2606-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Aimee, sex coach, host of Come Talk With Aimee, to unpack red flags in hookup culture, casual sex boundaries, love bombing, ghosting, emotional unavailability, situationships, sexual compatibility, and how to protect your peace while still having fun.This episode dives into the blurred lines between “hot” and “toxic,” how to define red flags in early dating, and why casual doesn’t have to mean careless. Alexa and Aimee break down how to navigate casual sex in a way that feels empowering instead of chaotic.In this episode, we cover:How to define a red flag (and why they aren’t always universal)The difference between mystery and emotional unavailabilityWhy hot-and-cold behavior is a major warning signLove bombing and how to spot it earlyWhy ghosting happens (and when it’s acceptable)Fear of rejection and craving validationHow to state your needs without playing gamesCasual sex vs. friends with benefits vs. fuck buddiesSetting boundaries before sex happensHow to avoid situationships and why we’re both against themWhy “casual” doesn’t mean carelessHow to reschedule a date properly from both sidesSigns someone may be selfish in bedUnsolicited nudes and consent in sextingCondom jokes & sexual health red flagsBoundary pushing and subtle manipulation tacticsNegging disguised as “banter”Why talking badly about all your exes is a red flagPussy worship vs. oral as a choreAbundance mindset vs. scarcity mindset in datingWhy you shouldn’t do casual if it creates chaos for youProtecting your peace while still enjoying sexThank you to the best waterproof sex blanket in the market,  Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests dry and cozy ◡̈ Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beducate.me/pd2606-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sexologist, intimacy coach for men, and former sex worker Coral Osborne for a conversation about conflict, repair, emotional safety, and how to fight in ways that actually strengthen relationships instead of destroying them.This episode breaks down why conflict is inevitable, why resolution is not the same as repair, and how most people unintentionally make things worse by avoiding discomfort, suppressing feelings, issuing ultimatums, or apologizing without real empathy. Coral shares tools drawn from attachment theory, coaching, lived experience, and relationship psychology to help couples navigate fights with curiosity, accountability, and emotional intelligence.Topics covered include:The difference between conflict resolution and emotional repairWhy 69% of conflict in relationships is recurringSecure vs anxious vs avoidant attachment stylesWhy conflict is necessary for real intimacySulking, silent treatment, and “read my mind” behaviorFight, flight, freeze responses in relationshipsHow avoidance fuels resentment and ruptureThe importance of reassurance during conflictWhy “do you want to be right or happy?” mattersActive listening and emotional attunementHow to bring issues up without score-keepingWhy feelings don’t have to “make sense” to be validRejection and abandonment as core emotional woundsWhat a real apology actually includesWhy ultimatums damage trust and safetyRepair rituals and post-conflict reconnectionWhy makeup sex doesn’t work for everyoneGamifying conflict and repair to reduce defensivenessWhen recurring fights are about values vs preferencesEmotional safety as the foundation for erotic surrenderCuriosity as the key to intimacy, sex, and connectionThank you to the best waterproof sex blanket in the market,  Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests dry and cozy ◡̈ 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with Aaron Thompson (aka Small Hands) to unpack how an awkward, short kid with a conservative upbringing became one of the most desired men in adult entertainment, and why confidence has far more to do with self-awareness, humility, and emotional intelligence than looks, height, or stats on a dating app.They go deep on real intimacy versus performative sex, porn myths versus real-life pleasure, and how men can become better lovers by listening, learning, and caring more about their partner’s experience than their own ego.Topics covered include:The “Short King” mindset and why height doesn’t matterMasculinity, confidence, and owning what you can’t changePenis size myths and sexual insecurityWhy personality beats looks in real attractionDating apps, stats culture, and first impressionsPorn vs real sex (and why porn is not sex education)Communication, consent, and “checking in” during sexReading body language, sounds, and partner feedbackHelping partners orgasm without killing the vibeUsing vibrators, magic wands, and toys with confidenceSexual worship, power dynamics, and mutual pleasureLearning from women and having real female friendshipsDating as a porn star and navigating fans vs real intimacyPerformative sex vs lazy, intimate, off-camera connectionOnlyFans, AI digital duplicates, and fantasy fulfillmentErectile health, Viagra and injectable performance drugsAaron’s natural erection health routineThank you Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests cozy ◡̈ Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beducate.me/pd2602-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with writer, performer, director, and sex worker Lucy Hart for an honest conversation about reinvention, desire, identity, and learning how to start over without losing yourself. Lucy shares what it has been like to transition later in life, rebuild after financial loss, find community through kink and creativity, and forgive herself through every stage of change.In this episode, they discuss:Reinventing yourself multiple times throughout lifeTransitioning later in life and trusting your timingBuilding chosen family and supportive communityTalking about sex before getting into bedEnding sex based on satisfaction, not performanceCommunication, oral sex, toys, kink, and curiositySexual responsibility, testing, PrEP, and harm reductionThe importance of kissing and chemistryExploring kink slowly and without pressurePower dynamics and shifting rolesLosing financial stability and rebuilding from scratchDivorce, grief, and letting go of relationships that no longer fitForgiveness as a daily practiceLetting go of resentment and self-blameRedefining success and happinessMaking peace with impermanenceTrusting yourself to rebuild again if neededThank you Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests cozy ◡̈ 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with certified holistic sex educator and Beyond the Beez founder Elizabeth Ashford for a deeply practical, funny, and no-BS conversation about talking during sex—and why silence, shame, and faking orgasms are some of the biggest barriers to good sex. From dirty talk and giving direction to toys, lube, boundaries, aftercare, and post-sex debriefs, this episode is a masterclass in how communication transforms intimacy, pleasure, and connection.In this episode, Alexa and Elizabeth discuss:Why silence during sex creates insecurity and confusionDirty talk vs simply communicating during sexUsing your voice for pleasure, direction, and curiosityWhy most people struggle to talk during sexCultural shame, lack of sex education, and sexual confidenceFinding your sexual voice and understanding your desiresWhy dirty talk looks different for everyoneTrauma, shame, BDSM experience, and comfort levels with dirty talkBlending dirty talk with practical directionGiving feedback without killing the moodStarting with positive reinforcement before giving directionHow safety makes sexual communication easierHow faking orgasms reinforces bad sex habitsWhy honesty leads to better long-term sexThe orgasm gap and why penetration alone isn’t enoughWhy partners need to genuinely care about your pleasureOral sex as a baseline expectation, not a bonus“Non-eaters” as a dealbreakerCuriosity as the foundation of good sexSex worth having vs sex worth avoidingStarter phrases for people new to dirty talkKeeping dirty talk simple and naturalCompliments during sex and feeling desiredPost-sex communication and debriefingAftercare beyond cuddlingTalking about what worked and what didn’tPorn, audio erotica, and learning language for desireErotic menus and yes/maybe/no frameworksBorrowing phrases instead of reinventing dirty talkThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey: https://beducate.me/pd2602-alexaThank you Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests cozy ◡̈