In Bed With Alexa: Have Better Sex

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with pleasure coach, intimacy educator, and professional Dom Sir Marvelous for a conversation about real dominance, fake Doms, pleasure-centered sex, and why communication and patience are the foundation of good BDSM—and good sex in general. This episode breaks down what dominance actually looks like beyond performance, how to spot manipulative dynamics early, and why prioritizing pleasure leads to deeper trust, safety, and better sex.In this episode, Alexa and Sir Marvelous discuss:What actually makes someone a real Dom vs a fake DomWhy “pleasure Dom” is often misunderstood and misusedHow fake Doms weaponize submissive language on dating appsManipulation, rushing dynamics, and early red flagsPatience as the most attractive and essential Dom skillWhy dominance is about giving and not controllingWhy dominance doesn’t have to include pain, whips, or chainsEating pussy before, during, and after penetrationAnxiety, erections, and why losing one isn’t a failureStrap-ons, toys, and removing ego from penetrationAsking better questions about pleasure and satisfactionThe brain as the biggest sex organPost-sex debriefing: what worked, what didn’t, what to do more ofAdvocating for pleasure in Dom/sub dynamicsBeginner Dom mistakes to avoidWhy Doms should experience submission or bottomingPerformative dominance vs authentic presenceThank you Splash Blanket for keeping me and my guests cozy ◡̈ 

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with musician and content creator Emi Larraud for a raw, funny, and deeply honest conversation about vulnerability, masculinity, oversharing on the internet, and why emotional availability makes men more desirable and better lovers. From shitting yourself on the subway to tips on how to be more vulnerable, this episode explores how being human, communicative, and emotionally present leads to better sex, safer intimacy, and more meaningful connections.In this episode, Alexa and Emi discuss:Masculinity, patriarchy, and how it harms menWhy toughness, aggression, and emotional suppression are not attractiveHealthy masculinity and being raised with emotional permissionMen crying, expressing emotions, and being fully humanHow emotional openness improves dating and sexWhy men shouldn’t center other men’s approvalSeeking male validation vs caring what women actually wantListening to women instead of guessing what they wantBeing bisexual and how that shaped Emi’s perspective on intimacyThe hot take: men who refuse to eat pussy are kinda gayWhy vulnerability filters out the wrong peopleGetting approached more after being emotionally openEmotional growth through therapyHolding male friends accountable for harmful jokesSex, intimacy, and performance anxietyFeeling pressure to perform sexuallyLiking women vs just wanting to fuck themThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Take their quiz to start your journey. https://beducate.me/pd2602-alexaThank you Splash Blanket for keeping my guests cozy and mess-free <3 🔥 Want more? Join my ⁠Patreon⁠ for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes tea on my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram!

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with hypnotherapist and intimacy coach Kate Shelor for an in-depth conversation about erotic hypnosis, the subconscious mind, and how our thoughts, beliefs, and emotional conditioning shape pleasure, desire, and orgasm. Recorded on the Temptation Cruise, this episode breaks down what hypnosis really is, how it differs from pop-culture myths, and how erotic hypnosis can help people get out of their heads, release sexual shame, and reconnect with their bodies.In this episode, Alexa and Kate discuss:The role of the subconscious mind in sex, pleasure, and behaviorWhy so many people struggle to stay present during sexAnxiety, body image, and self-conscious thoughts in the bedroomHow hypnosis helps people get out of their heads and into sensationWhy all hypnosis is ultimately self-hypnosisConsent, collaboration, and personal agency in hypnosisCommon myths about hypnosis from movies and pop cultureWhether some people are “more hypnotizable” than othersSexual blocks related to orgasms, erections, and arousalKate’s personal journey using hypnotherapy to overcome orgasm strugglesHow language and self-talk program sexual responsesThe power of repetition in shaping subconscious beliefsBlindfolds, sensory deprivation, and imagination in erotic playPractical self-hypnosis and mindset exercises for homeAuditing negative self-talk and replacing it intentionallyRewriting old conditioning with new emotional experiencesWhy the subconscious mind overrides logic every timeSurrounding yourself with sex-positive language and mediaThe best time of day for self-hypnosisHow long hypnosis takes to create change🔥 Want more? Join my ⁠Patreon⁠ for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes tea on my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram!

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with tantric practitioner, pleasure educator, and soon-to-be author Davia Frost for a deep conversation about decentering penetration and expanding what sex can be. Recorded on the Temptation Cruise, this episode explores how slowing down, breathing, presence, and creativity can lead to more satisfying, intimate, and embodied pleasure without sex needing to revolve around penetration.We discuss:What it means to decenter penetration and why penetration is overemphasized in mainstream cultureHow expanding your definition of sex increases pleasure, intimacy, and satisfactionWhy heterosexual couples tend to rush to intercourse and how this limits pleasureUsing the full body as an instrument of pleasure rather than focusing only on genitalsSlowing down, softening the body, and learning how to receive pleasureMyths around sex, obligation, and the idea that penetration is requiredMaking penetration optional without sex feeling “incomplete”Erogenous zones beyond genitals (neck, ears, inner thighs, behind the knees, clavicle, elbows, nipples)Nipple play and nipple orgasmsDifferent types of orgasms and expanding orgasmic capacityBreathwork, sound, humming, and tantra as tools for pleasureWhy holding your breath can limit orgasmic potentialPresence vs performance in sexOral sex as intimacy, honoring, and shared pleasure rather than a choreEye gazing, kissing, dirty talk, and touch as deeply intimate actsEgo, vulnerability, and why sex often ends when penetration endsEnding sex based on satisfaction, not orgasms or penetrationCommunication strategies for talking about pleasure without hurting egosSexual menus, check-ins, and having conversations outside the bedroomScheduling intimacy, playfulness, and creative erotic invitationsWhat straight couples can learn from queer sex cultureThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2548-alexa🔥 Want more? Join my ⁠Patreon⁠ for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes tea on my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram!

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with sex & relationship coach Catherine Drysdale for the most honest, nuanced conversation about voluntary celibacy you’ve ever heard. Together they break down how intentionally stepping away from partnered sex can reset your dating patterns, raise your standards, calm your nervous system, help you stop centering dating/sex, reconnect you to your body, and ultimately make your sex life better.In this episode, Catherine opens up about: What voluntary celibacy actually meansWhy she’s chosen celibacy multiple timesLibido dips during high-stress seasons– Prioritizing outercourse for better sexCelibacy as a tool for breaking validation cyclesHow to stop centering dating, sex and external validationDating while celibate & setting clear boundariesHow long a celibacy period should lastHow to decide when to re-enter sex or dating into your lifeWhat she learned about sexual compatibilityThe “reset effect” on desire and self-esteemHow celibacy helped her see red flags soonerWhy a sex break often leads to better sexHow to be more intentional once you start having sex againThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2548-alexa🔥 Want more? Join my ⁠Patreon⁠ for unedited episodes, behind-the-scenes tea on my personal dating & sex life, and access to my Close Friends on Instagram!

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex educator, pleasure expert, and the Handjob Queen herself, Ashley Manta (@cannasexual), for the most comprehensive handjob episode ever recorded, all from the middle of the Ionian Sea aboard a Desire Cruise.Together, they dive into Ashley’s entire sexual evolution, her journey into sex education, her non-monogamous love story, and her insanely detailed handjob techniques that go way beyond the basics. This episode is part sex education masterclass, part storytelling, part technique demonstration and entirely iconic.We cover:How Ashley de-centered penetration in her relationships and learned to prioritize warm-up, touch, and manual stimulationWhy she prefers clitoral stimulation with fingers over any vibrator / oralSquirting vs orgasm: why they’re different experiences and how Ashley experiences bothHandjobs in cars, the “blowjobs for rides” era, and giving a handjob in a DHL truckWorking at a sex shop and learning techniques from experts like Reid Mihalko, Ducky Doolittle, Tristan Taormino, and moreHer decade of learning technique through sex parties, workshops, and hands-on practiceThe “toxic tantra boyfriend” who was incredible at sex but emotionally manipulativeHow handjobs became Ashley’s specialty and why she teaches them professionallyUsing partners as “live demos” during workshopsHer handjob philosophy: connection, breathwork, presence, pressure, rhythm, and affirmationHow to handle soft cocks, why softness is normal, and how to help someone relax into arousalWhy lube is non-negotiable, why Ashley prefers silicone lube, and her love for the baby bottle warmer hackCircumcised vs uncircumcised penis techniques and what adjustments matterFull techniques breakdownWhy Ashley doesn’t enjoy giving blowjobs (TMJ + dislike of cum), and how she clearly makes up for itOutsourcing BJ duties during group play thanks to her and Nick’s non-monogamous dynamicAnal play safety and boundaries: how Nick discovered he loves anal, how they explored it safely, and hygiene must-knowsThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA69 to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 65% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2544-alexa

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with Ian Kerner, sex therapist and author of the groundbreaking bestseller She Comes First, He Comes Next, and So Tell Me About the Last Time You Had Sex. They talk about why his 2004 classic is still changing bedrooms two decades later, how the clitoris remains misunderstood, and what makes sex truly great.We discuss:- Why She Comes First is still a global bestseller 21 years later- ⁠The science of the clitoris and its internal structures- Why all orgasms are clitoral — and what “outercourse” really means- Why penetration-only sex leads to bad sex and performance anxiety- The most common sexual problems heterosexual couples face today- How to shift from intercourse-focused sex to pleasure-focused sex- Why rhythm and persistence are essential for clitoral stimulation- Why novelty helps early on but routine deepens connection- How rushing and orgasm-chasing have ruined slow sex- The differences between male and female arousal cycles- ⁠The three assurances every giver should offer during oral sex- Why enthusiasm is the sexiest thing a partner can show- How women’s insecurities (“I’m taking too long,” “Do I smell?”) block pleasure- Why giving oral sex might be the key to your erection problemsAn unfiltered, intimate conversation about why She Comes First is still essential reading and how better sex starts with slowing down, getting curious, and caring more.Thank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA69 to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 65% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up: https://beducate.me/pd2544-alexa

Amanda Dames, a kink consultant and former dominatrix, shares her insights on safe practices in kink and BDSM. She explains the importance of power dynamics, discussing everything from negotiating scenes to understanding core desires behind kinks. Amanda offers practical safety tips for choking and bondage, highlighting aftercare's critical role. They also touch on the rising trend of male chastity and how to approach discussions about kink with partners, ensuring mutual pleasure and consent throughout the experience.

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@⁠sexwithalexa⁠)⁠ sits on the couch with Robyn Silber⁠ — a former Google software engineer who slept with 70 men in 10 months and then realized she’s asexual. Robyn opens up about her “slut era,” sexual health, discovering demisexuality, navigating autism and dating, and why she’s now working to help lonely men build real connection.We talk about:Dating younger men and having 70 sexual partners in her first 10 months in NYCSexual health: chlamydia, BV, yeast infections, UTIs, and learning to advocate for herselfWhy only ~5 of 70 partners made her orgasm and how she wasn’t asking for pleasureThe difference between physical attraction and real sexual desireHow asexuality doesn’t mean low libido or lack of masturbationHer current relationship: emotional connection, sensuality, and slow intimacyWhy everyone should have a “slut era” and what to keep in mindHer idea to launch an online support group for men who aren’t getting laidThe male loneliness crisis and how empathy can rebuild connectionWhy men should focus on friendship, hobbies, and social skills before dating

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Haley Jakobson, author of Old Enough, bisexual Dream Girl, and OCD Princess, to talk about friendship, therapy, OCD, and sex. Haley opens up about how her OCD has shaped her relationships, sexuality, creative life and how vulnerability and repair have transformed her friendships and intimacy.We discuss:The importance of friendship and why it can be even more transformative than romantic loveLearning to fight and repair conflict with friends instead of avoiding itFriendship breakups, grief, and when to let go vs. when to repairHow attachment styles (anxious vs. avoidant) affect friendships and conflictThe parallels between romantic and platonic relationship skillsNavigating OCD, intrusive thoughts, and relationship anxietySexual shame, low libido, and reconnecting with desire during recoveryThe impact of COVID on libido, self-pleasure, and intimacyHow OCD and anxiety affect sexual intimacy and self-imageLearning to find satisfaction without pressure to perform sexuallyHaley’s upcoming novel Cave Girl and the story behind its titleThank you, Beducated, for making this exploration possible. Use code ALEXA to try their platform for free for 24h and, if you love it, get 50% off their yearly pass. 14 day money back guarantee if you don't! Click here to sign up:https://beducate.me/pd2540-alexa