Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Learning more about your attachment and communication styles can give you and your partner the power to transform a challenging relationship. About Amy Chan: Amy Chan is the Founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to healing the heart. She is also the Editor-in-Chief of JustMyType.ca - an online magazine that focuses on the psychology behind love, lust and desire. Marie Claire calls her "A relationship expert whose work is like that of a scientific Carrie Bradshaw" and her company has been featured across national media including Good Morning America, Vogue, Glamour, Nightline and the front page of The New York Times. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Amy Chan and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: How relationship challenges can teach us about our areas of growth and healing. How to notice if you are starting to lose yourself in a relationship and how to maintain a healthy connection, both with your partner and with yourself. The importance of identifying the root motivations for our giving and sacrifice behavior. What attachment theory is and how early life plays a large role in your attachment style in a relationship. How knowing your attachment style can help you resolve issues more quickly with your significant other, as well as help you develop a more secure attachment. Tips around what to do when you feel triggered and threatened, so that you can begin to regulate your nervous system and emotional state. Learning how to organize your feelings and approach your partner in a way that supports more effective communication. "When you're in this survival state, that your connection is threatened, you're not logical. So anything you're going to do during that state is probably not a really healthy choice for your future. And so you want to get back to calm and center. And before you do anything, before you send that text or make that call or break up, you want to be able to get back into a high vibe." — Amy Chan Mentioned: Amy's Breakup Bootcamp Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication - Free Guide Connect with Amy Chan: Website: www.renewbreakupbootcamp.com Blog: https://www.justmytype.ca/ Breakup Bootcamp on Instagram: @renewyourheart Amy Chan on Instagram: @missamychan Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

In this episode, I talk with Lisa Barros D'Sa and Glenn Leyburn about the film Ordinary Love. Bleecker Street's ORDINARY LOVE, starring Academy Award® nominees Lesley Manville ("Phantom Thread") and Liam Neeson ("Schlinder's List"). Following its critically acclaimed debut at TIFF, ORDINARY LOVE hit theaters on Valentine's Day, February 14th, and follows the story of an everyday couple with a remarkable love. The film is directed by Irish filmmaking duo Lisa Barros D'Sa & Glenn Leyburn ("Good Vibrations," "Cherrybomb") with a screenplay from the award-winning playwright Owen McCafferty. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Lisa Barros D'Sa, Glenn Leyburn and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: A love story of a middle-aged couple. The warmth, humor, and connection that comes from a deep level of intimacy. When confronted with a major hardship, we have the opportunity to uplift each other and keep each other afloat. With a major health issue, there is an individual journey as well as a couple journey. When we attempt to protect our partner from our pain, we often feel isolated. What honesty, acceptance, strength and courage can look like within a relationship during painful times. How life's difficulties can separate us and bring us back together again. Collaboration through mutual trust and respect. Mentioned: Website: https://bleeckerstreetmedia.com/ordinary-love-film Insta: bleeckerstfilms Twitter: @bleeckerstfilms Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Sharing sexual intimacy and love making with your significant other can be such a profound and prominent way to express love and passion within your bond. And yet, there are so many things that make the process of coming together in an open, flexible, and engaged way challenging. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: How our expectations, assumptions and judgements influence our experience sexually. What differentiation has to do with sexual fire and passion. How couples get stuck in gridlock and sexual difficulties. The fears, shame, anxieties, trauma, and stress that affect our ability to be available and present sexually. The ways our attachment strategies show up in our love making. How safety in the relationship helps partners be more present, expressed and engaged in erotic play. "Worry and distraction do not make for expansive, fulfilling sex. Sealed-off sex tends to be erotic but empty, while solcae sex is soothing but unerotic. The most satisfying and orgasmic sex, what I call "synchrony sex," occurs when partners are securely attached." by Dr. Susan Johnson Mentioned: Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication - Free Guide Relationship Map - Free Cheat Sheet Mentioned: WHAT DOES THE DEVELOPMENT OF INTIMACY LOOK LIKE IN RELATIONSHIP? ERP 110: HOW TO MANAGE TWO MAJORLY CONFLICTING NEEDS IN RELATIONSHIP Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships, by Dr. Susan Johnson Hold Me Tight, by Dr. Susan Johnson Passionate Marriage by Dr. David Schnarch Intimacy & Desire, by David Schnarch Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

In this episode, I will be addressing a listener's question in a little more depth. If you do not resonate with the example shared, then please replace "tattoo" with something that your partner has done that is against your wishes. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: The benefits of working through the power struggle phase. Navigating the two main conflicting needs in relationship. Addressing differences in a safe, supportive and collaborative way. How to develop deeper levels of understanding and empathy when discussing a tender, emotional topic with your significant other. Gaining clarity about boundaries and agreements. Identifying and shifting out of critical and defensive patterns. Mentioned: Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication - Free Guide Relationship Map - Free Cheat Sheet Podcast: ERP 200: HOW TO USE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE FOR CONNECTION, PART TWO ERP 199: HOW TO USE YOUR EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE FOR CONNECTION WHAT DOES THE DEVELOPMENT OF INTIMACY LOOK LIKE IN RELATIONSHIP? ERP 110: HOW TO MANAGE TWO MAJORLY CONFLICTING NEEDS IN RELATIONSHIP ERP 013: BALANCING INTIMACY AND AUTONOMY IN RELATIONSHIP ERP 045: HOW TO GAIN SELF-CONFIDENCE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP ERP 006: MAKING AND KEEPING AGREEMENTS TO STRENGTHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP ERP 116: HOW TO REGAIN TRUST AND SELF-CONFIDENCE WHEN YOU'VE LOST IT ERP 194: HOW TO ALCHEMIZE YOUR TRIGGERS INTO INSIGHT – AN INTERVIEW WITH TOBIN ZIVON Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

In Part 2 of this series, Jessica dives deeper into the how-tos of building emotional connectivity with our partners in order to reaffirm trust and safety while negating criticism. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: Healing the intimacy disconnect between unspoken fear and defensiveness. Why humans are designed to be in bonded relationships. Dr. Susan Johnson's research on the psychological repercussions of emotional independence. Differences between men and women in emotional responses and suppression. How to learn the road map of emotionally connected conversations. The feedback loop between vulnerability and security. The ability to find balance and the vital importance of at least one positive, early attachment parental figure. Why intimacy is rooted in empathy. " Learning to love and be loved is, in effect, about learning to tune into our emotions so that we know what we need from a partner, and expressing those needs openly in a way that evokes sympathy and support from him or her." — Dr. Susan Johnson Mentioned: ERP, How To Use Your Emotional Intelligence For Connection, Part One Love Sense by Dr. Susan Johnson Hold Me Tight, by Dr. Susan Johnson Shifting Criticism Into Connected Communication Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

All too often we get stuck in disconnect patterns when painful emotions arise in relationship. Most of the time, we don't even know we are hurting because we are only aware of our reactions...anger, frustration, criticism etc. When we lead with our reactions, our partner doesn't see our pain, and does not know how to help. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: What would happen if we freeze framed the moment right before we react to our partner? What would we learn? How we often don't have a road map for how to be with our difficult emotions. The strategies we develop to cope with painful emotions in relationship. The purpose of emotion. What happens when we name painful emotions. The groundwork for empathy in relationship. "Emotion is actually nature's exquisitely efficient information-processing and signaling system..." by Dr. Susan Johnson Mentioned: Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication - Free Guide Podcast: ERP 189: HOW BEING "SELFISH" MAY BE THE BEST THING YOU DO FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP – AN INTERVIEW WITH DR. LAURA DABNEY ERP 194: HOW TO ALCHEMIZE YOUR TRIGGERS INTO INSIGHT – AN INTERVIEW WITH TOBIN ZIVON Book: Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships, by Dr. Susan Johnson Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

About Noah St John: Noah St. John, author of 15 books including the NEW book Power Habits®: The New Science for Making Success Automatic® Noah St. John is known as "The Power Habits® Mentor" and is famous for helping people get rid of their head trash and make more money. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Noah St John and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: How people end up starving themselves of success. Recognizing the learning process of being successful. The interaction (and combined effect) of the inner game and the outer game. Identifying unconscious patterns. Assessing systems and strategies. What are power habits for happy couples Getting our brain to be in service of possibilities and positive outcomes. How to ask empowering questions. The elements of freedom lifestyle - time, energy, relationship, money. Mentioned: ERP 140: HOW PAIN AND SUFFERING INCREASE & WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT ERP 141: HOW TO DECREASE RELATIONSHIP PAIN AND SUFFERING Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication - Free Guide Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/noahstjohn Website: www.NoahStJohn.com Instagram: @noahstjohn Book: www.PowerHabitsBook.com Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Today, we are continuing the conversation about how to cultivate a more loving presence through the Five A's offered by David Richo. The Five A's are Attention, Acceptance, Appreciation, Affection, and Allowing. If you missed episode ERP 195: 5 Essential Elements Of Love - Part- One, I encourage you to listen to it before listening to this episode, as it gives context for this conversation as well as discusses the first 2 A's. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: The challenges of not receiving appreciation and how this can affect us both personally and relationally. How offering specific appreciations can increase the positive impact. Affection refers not just to physical contact, but also to the feeling of being close through conversation, gestures, and presence. Allowing means letting someone be themselves and giving them the freedom to do things in their own way. The difference between trying to control your partner and setting limits and boundaries for yourself. The importance of giving the 5 A's to others AND giving the 5 A's to ourselves. "Being a fair witness requires a healthy ego, because distance and objectivity are unavailable to someone with poor boundaries, no tolerance of ambiguity, and no sense of a personal center." by David Richo Mentioned: Podcast: ERP 195: 5 ESSENTIAL ELEMENTS OF LOVE ERP 036: HOW TO OFFER THE GIFT OF LISTENING ERP 089: HOW TO USE LOVE LANGUAGES TO STRENGTHEN CONNECTION ERP 090: HOW TO USE LOVE LANGUAGES TO STRENGTHEN CONNECTION – PART TWO Website: David Richo's website Book: How To Be An Adult In Relationships - Five Keys to Mindful Living, by David Richo Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

In the book, "How To Be An Adult In Relationships - Five Keys to Mindful Living," David Richo offers us 5 essential practices of love. David calls these practices the "Five A's," which are attention, acceptance, appreciation, affection, and allowing. "What we need for the building of a self is precisely what we need for happiness in our adult love relationships." by David Richo (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: Our human need for the 5 A's occurs throughout our lifespan in order to thrive and feel secure. Giving and receiving the 5 A's with a significant other can reduce stress, anxiety, depression, as well as can help heal wounds from previous relationship trauma. The importance of giving the 5 A's to others AND giving the 5 A's to ourselves. A description of the first 2 (of the 5) A's: Attention and Acceptance. "Love from another adult does more than just satisfy us in the present. It ripples back in time for us, repairing, restoring, and renovating an inadequate past." by David Richo Mentioned: Podcast: ERP 036: HOW TO OFFER THE GIFT OF LISTENING ERP 189: HOW BEING "SELFISH" MAY BE THE BEST THING YOU DO FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP – AN INTERVIEW WITH DR. LAURA DABNEY ERP 089: HOW TO USE LOVE LANGUAGES TO STRENGTHEN CONNECTION ERP 090: HOW TO USE LOVE LANGUAGES TO STRENGTHEN CONNECTION – PART TWO Website: David Richo's website Book: How To Be An Adult In Relationships - Five Keys to Mindful Living, by David Richo Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

About Robert MacNaughton: Robert MacNaughton is an executive leadership coach and facilitator who teaches about how to skillfully reconcile seemingly contradictory world-views in relationships, organization, and culture. Robert is an authority in the fields of Integral business, behavioral development, and experiential education. Robert focuses on supporting leaders with execution strategies, designing work culture, and navigating interpersonal conflict both personally and professionally. Robert founded The Integral Center in Boulder, Colorado in association with renowned philosopher Ken Wilber. As its CEO, Robert managed five profit centers and supervised over 100 contractors, teachers, facilitators, and community leaders in over 25 cities globally (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Robert MacNaughton and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: The difference between relating and relationship. What integral theory is and how it relates in our lives and our relationships. The line of development that can be traced in our lives. Cultivating tools for your communication toolbox. The art and science of setting context. How partners experience conflict at different stages. Negotiating relationship between partners at different stages. "Be on the lookout for your canaries in the coal mine." — Robert MacNaughton Mentioned: Twitter: @rmacnaughton Website: IntegralCentered.com The Daily Evolver: The First Church of the Integral Forbes: Millennials, This Is What Your Quarter-Life Crisis Is Telling You Emerge Podcast: Robert MacNaughton – Learnings from the Life and Death of the Integral Center Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.