Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Dr. Tom Habib is a clinical psychologist specializing in couple's therapy. Tom has published papers on a Couple's Line of Development (Integral Leadership Review, Aug-Nov, 2016, revised 2018) in addition to other publications on other topics. He has presented at the Integral Theory Conference, at the Integral European Conference where he was recognized for the Best Practitioner Paper, Honorable Mention. Tom is currently serving as the chair for the International Consortium of Integral Scholars for IEC 2020. Tom has been recognized by Academia.edu as achieving the top 1% researcher in recognition of how often his work is viewed by researchers all over the world. In this episode, Dr. Tom Habib and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: Exploring the developmental stages of couplehood, along with the challenges and opportunities. How a couple's intimacy is dependent on each person's developmental history. Society's glorification of the exciting first stage of relationships and how that adds to the challenges of surviving the next phase of relationship (where reality sets in). Two common fantasies we have in relationship and how they pose a barrier to true intimacy. "People are blowing up their lives because they are so hungry for connection." Dr. Tom Habib Getting to the place where you recognize and value each other's strengths and weaknesses and figure out how to use those to work together. Working towards an abundance and gratitude mindset, understanding your inner world more fully, and a willingness to be transparent with your partner. Embracing moments of emotional vulnerability to develop resonance and build moments of connection and intimacy with your significant other. What we can learn from the last developmental stage of relationship. How to determine what stage you are in and how to grow your relationship. "As Ken Wilber talks about, the ability to show up fully means that you have cleaned up, you've grown up, and you've woken up. There's enough trust to not overreact to that moment, then the enlightenment really starts to build, because when they reveal something, you begin to go, 'Wow, I didn't even see that. I wanna see more.' ...because you're aware that it's always unfolding. And when you can unfold it with two people, it really gets special." — Dr. Tom Habib Mentioned: A Couples Line of Development by Dr. Tom Habib Integral European Conference: IEC ONLINE 2020 First Love Vs Spiritual Love Relationship Map to Happy Lasting Love – Free Guide ERP 197: How To Engage In More Conscious Communication - an Interview with Robert Macnaughton (podcast) ERP 159: What Happens When Your Partner is at a Different Stage of Development? An Interview Martin Ucik (podcast) ERP 093: How the "Shadow" Influences our Growth in Life and In Relationship with Dr. Keith Witt (podcast) Connect with Dr. Tom Habib: Website: drtomhabib.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrTomHabib/ Email: drtomhabib@gmail.com Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Terry Real is a nationally recognized family therapist and author. Particularly known for his groundbreaking work on men, his work on gender and couples. He published the national bestseller: I Don't Want To Talk About It, the first book written on the topic of male depression. He has been in private practice for thirty years and he is the Founder of The Relational Life Institute, where he teaches therapist trainings and workshops for couples In this episode, Terry Real and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: . How men need to find the courage to be vulnerable in order to achieve the intimacy required to maintain a healthy relationship. The false forms of self-esteem that many of us operate under, versus the inside-out knowledge of our essential worth as human beings. How shame and grandiosity both stem from a feeling of unworthiness and the different ways they wreak havoc on relationships. How to quiet the inner critic and practice self-love. The need for a paradigm shift from a dominant style of masculinity to a cooperative, ecological, and humble masculinity. "Here's what I want to tell you. I used to be you, I spent most of my life loathing myself. I spent most of my life bouncing back and forth between inferiority and superiority. I did not like being alone in my skin. It was not fun to be there. And what I want to tell you is I'm no longer there. I am happy in my own skin, and I earned that. Nobody gave that to me. And you can earn it just as easily if you do the work" — Terry Real Mentioned: Fierce Intimacy Evolutionary Relationships Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication The Long Shadow of Couples Therapy Connect with Terry Real: Website: terryreal.com Facebook: Terry Real - Relational Life Institute - Home Books: I Don't Want to Talk About It The New Rules of Marriage How Can I Get Through To You? Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

The Mindful Couple. Craig has over 30 years of experience dedicated to helping couples rekindle their love, deepen their intimacy and strengthen communication as a couples therapist, and Debbie is a relationship educator and coach. Through Lambert Couples Therapy, they have worked with thousands of couples, helping them understand the often unconscious underpinnings of relationship conflict. They are based in San Diego. In this episode, Craig, Debbie, and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: How so much conflict comes from an inability or unwillingness to see beyond our own vantage point. The dangers of confirmation bias and how it reinforces resistance, which makes empathy and diversity more of a challenge. Tools to use for opening up dialogue and finding common ground. The power of celebrating the wins that we're having, and the things that people are doing, right. Enriching your own perspective and strengthening your relationships by becoming curious and asking questions. "I think the political differences really brings up a lot of resistance on both sides, but it's such a beautiful opportunity to see it... then we can choose to maybe go down a different path with less resistance on either what we're doing politically or just in our relationships. I think in the midst of resistance is a desire to connect and to understand." — Debbie Lambert Mentioned: Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication Connect with Craig and Debbie Lambert: Website: craiglamberttherapy.com/the-mindful-couple/ Book: The Mindful Couple Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Ian Ferguson is an intimacy coach and teacher of the Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough™ platform, designed to radically transform how we talk about and experience sex. Ian is an expert on clearing shame and ending struggles that keep people from experiencing a deep intimate connection and sexual satisfaction. Through the Erotic Blueprints, he and Jaiya Ma have provided a 'Rosetta Stone' for people to clearly articulate their desires and experience erotic fulfillment. In this episode, Ian Ferguson and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: How social norms make it difficult to talk about sex in a healthy way, and propagate shame. Getting to know your own body so you can begin to articulate who you are as an erotic being How understanding which of the five erotic personality types you fit into can transform your sex life How to listen to the sometimes competing messages from your body and get to the heart of what it is you truly want for yourself sexually. Shame is often driven by trauma. Allowing yourself to feel what you need to feel and move through the shame into healing is transformative and freeing. "No matter what is going on for you, you are normal, you are not broken. You are whole and complete as you are. The primary rule for operating in the world around your sexuality is simply that everything that you're doing is consensual and that you're creating healthy boundaries for yourself." — Ian Ferguson Mentioned: Erotic Blueprint Quiz Path To Passion Connect with Guest: Website: https://missjaiya.com/ Facebook:https://www.facebook.com/JaiyaNWSE/ Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Kyle Benson is an Intentional Intimate Relationship coach providing practical, research-based tools to build long-lasting relationships. Kyle is best known for his compassion and non-judgmental style and his capacity to see the root problem. In this episode, Kyle Benson and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: The importance of tuning in to the information our bodies give us to improve our health and our lives. How men who are emotionally engaged generally have more stable relationships because they are more sensitive to what was going on in their partner's world. How emotionally intelligent partners often turn towards difficult emotions in their partners and in themselves, rather than avoiding them. Helping men overcome a lifetime of being told to suppress so-called "unmasculine" emotions. The importance of creating a safe space for anyone, but especially men, to express their feelings. "It's such a joy to see that transformation and that kind of new shift...they're making a choice to step into something that's unfamiliar. That's scary...but when they start to touch into that in their relationship, and you create that safer space, I mean, it's really beautiful when they can connect with their partners." — Kyle Benson Intimacy 5 Challenge Emotionally Intelligent Relationship Mankind Project Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication – Free Guide Connect with Guest: Website: kylebenson.net Twitter: @_KyleBenson Facebook: facebook.com/kylebenson.net Email: Contact Kyle Benson Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Donna is one of the Co-founders and facilitators of The Bridge Retreat and has been working with individuals, couples and groups for almost 30 years. Donna is passionate about the subject of grief and the grieving process which she believes offers the missing link for many in their search for wholeness. This interest stemmed from her own very personal experience of 'depression' which she suffered from for many years and now knows to have in fact been unprocessed grief. In this episode, Donna Lancaster and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: Discomfort, anxiety, and depression may actually be unprocessed pain and grief. Being grateful for our incredible capacity for survival and resilience, but not letting our past difficulties define you. How we tend to see people through our own lenses of past pain. Heartbreak is inevitable and an essential part of being wonderfully human. The power of recognizing pain as a community, and healing in a community. "The details of our stories may differ. But the essence of them is the same...we all go through loss, our hearts break, again and again, it's part of the human condition. But what we're not shown, generally speaking, is how to allow and to embrace all those emotions and let them flow through us (as) they're meant to do, so that we can then really, really return to our wholeness. Not even return, just remember, because we always were home. And that is the power of community." — Donna Lancaster Mentioned: The Bridge Retreat Video The Bridge Retreat website How to Handle Grief & Loss In Relationship podcast) How to Handle Grief & Loss In Relationship - Part Two (podcast) Grief Refuge (grief companioning) Free strategy session with Dr. Jessica Higgins (coaching) Connect with Donna: Website: https://www.thebridgeretreat.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thebridgeretreat/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thebridgehealing/ Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

No doubt, we are all feeling the stress of the COVID-19 crisis. I reach out to you today to be in community with you, as we are all being impacted. With the threats looming, it is easy to feel scared, uncertain, and a sense of loss. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: How the way with deal with a challenge can be more important than the challenge itself. How to find a balance between panicking in fear and ignoring or dismissing the issue. Learning to manage our reactions and activated states. Building awareness around our experience, so that we can be more present to others and ourselves. Focusing on an Intention for clarity and direction. How to build connection with others even when we are limited. How to practice discernment and mindful action. Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication - Free Guide Mentioned: Awareness, Intention And Mindful Action - During Stressful Times (article) Fear Melters, by Gay & Katie Hendricks Wheel of Awareness, by Dr. Dan Siegel Aware, by Daniel Siegel Coming to Terms With Coincidence, By Ralph Lewis M.D Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Ericka Young is a recognized expert in financial coaching and helps families significantly improve their finances and their future. As founder and president of Tailor-Made Budgets, she teaches debt freedom through her e-newsletters, personal coaching, group programs, and speaking engagements. In this episode, Ericka Young and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: How most people see debt as "normal," but it breeds shame and embarrassment. Once you reach your breaking point, getting out of debt requires diligence and persistence. Rather than being restrictive, a budget can be freeing and give you control of your finances. If you are afraid to look at your debt, then you won't know what it's going to take to get free. Working together as a couple requires stepping back, looking at the big picture, and working toward a common goal. "They're so afraid that looking at the number is going to mean that the house is gonna fall down around them. And my take on this is, first of all, you're not alone. This is why I'm here. I've been there. And so I understand that this is difficult. You can do hard things though. And if you don't face it, you can't change it." — Ericka Young Mentioned: Free Mini-Course Naked and Unashamed Connect with Ericka: Website: https://www.tailormadebudgets.com/ Facebook: TailorMadeBudgets Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tailormadebudgets/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/erickayoung/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/budgetsbyericka Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Typically, we don't think about porn being related to lovemaking. However, many people are experiencing relationship challenges related to the use of porn. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories and examples.) In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: How the use of porn has changed over time. Our paradigm about and consciousness around porn. What happens when we don't examine how and why we use porn. How porn supports one aspect of sexuality, which may be very limiting when it comes to interacting with an actual partner. How porn addiction and miseducation can interfere with love making. How we may be turning away from our partners and using porn as a coping strategy. How lovemaking can be an all encompassing, full-spectrum, and integrated experience. "Porn is strictly genital sex. It completely divorces sex from emotional attachment, the springboard for optimal sex, which requires mutual engagement, attunement, and responsiveness. Porn reduces sex to sensation - intercourse and orgasm - and eliminates any connection to or respect for the user's partner." by Dr. Susan Johnson Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication - Free Guide Relationship Map - Free Cheat Sheet Mentioned: ERP 202: HOW TO NURTURE YOUR SEXUAL INTIMACY AND CONNECTION IN RELATIONSHIP ERP 145: PORNOGRAPHY. WHAT ARE WE REALLY TALKING ABOUT? WITH DR. MARTY KLEIN Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships, by Dr. Susan Johnson Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

About Simone Milasas: Simone Milasas is a lady who knows how to be a woman, who sees the joy of possibility and future and knows that there is the prospect of possibility in every choice you choose. Simone is the author of Joy Of Business translated into 13 languages and best-selling book Getting Out Of Debt Joyfully translated into 5 languages. She is currently working on her 3rd book with Brendon Watt called; Relationship. Are you sure you want one? Simone currently travels the world facilitating seminars with Access Consciousness. She also has numerous online courses and is always asking for more possibilities to show up. You can find Simone every week on her podcast – The Art & Industry of Business & Living available on her website and iTunes. In this episode, Simone Milasas and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: How money should contribute to your relationships, rather than define them Being willing to look at what's in front of you and knowing yourself and your partner creates trust. Money is just money and shouldn't create as much havoc as it does Creating a non-judgmental space is essential for open communication about finances Writing down everything that it costs to run your life together, and deciding how you want to live is how to make informed choices and take control of your finances Make it a joyous occasion to look at your expenses because your life changes! If you don't ask for it, how's it going to show up? Subtext doesn't work, it only creates conflict. Your partner can't read your mind! Recognizing the value of non-monetary contributions to the relationship You've got to look at what's going to work for you "What I've noticed over the years is if I choose to be clear on something, then I can create something and I can change something. It's when you choose not to be aware of something that you can't change it...And if you don't know what your point of view is that creates your own financial reality and you're in a relationship, then this reality will create it for you." — Simone Milasas Mentioned: Access Consciousness. Relationship. Are You Sure You Want One?Relationships Done Different Connect with Guest: Website: https://www.simonemilasas.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AccessSimoneMilasas Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/simonemilasas/ Podcast: https://www.simonemilasas.com/podcasts/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonemilasas LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/joyofbusiness/: Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.