Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Dealing with difficult emotions can feel uncertain, scary and extremely uncomfortable, especially when we have not had positive experiences with experiencing and expressing our emotion in the past. In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: The next three steps (out of five) in how to deal with difficult emotions. How we can recognize and identify our primary emotions. How acknowledging and naming our difficult emotions lessens the intensity of them and helps us begin the process of organizing and dealing with the emotion. How the questions we ask ourselves can contribute to more suffering and pain. What we can learn from our feelings and emotions. How the insights, learnings and lessons can help us move forward in a more powerful way. How self-compassion and understanding can help in the process of dealing with difficult emotions. Mentioned: Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication - Free Guide Untamed, by Glennon Doyle ERP 223: HOW TO DEAL WITH DIFFICULT EMOTIONS – PART ONE ERP 142: How to Increase Relationship Satisfaction with Mindfulness ERP 143: How to Increase Relationship Satisfaction with Mindfulness – Part Two ERP 144: HOW TO INCREASE RELATIONSHIP SATISFACTION WITH MINDFULNESS – PART THREE ERP 140: How Pain and Suffering Increase & What to Do about It ERP 141: How To Decrease Relationship Pain and Suffering ERP 156: What Happens When You Feel Like A Victim In Relationship ERP 157: HOW TO SHIFT OUT OF THE VICTIM POSITION ERP 095: How Your Beliefs Can Destroy Your Relationship ERP 096: HOW YOUR BELIEFS CAN DESTROY YOUR RELATIONSHIP – PART TWO ERP 135: HOW TO HANDLE GRIEF AND LOSS IN RELATIONSHIP – PART ONE ERP 136: HOW TO HANDLE GRIEF AND LOSS IN RELATIONSHIP – PART TWO Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships, by Dr. Susan Johnson Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Dealing with difficult emotions can feel uncertain, scary and extremely uncomfortable, especially when we have not had positive experiences with experiencing and expressing our emotion in the past. In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: The tendency to want to suppress, deny, avoid and reject our painful emotions. How avoiding painful and difficult emotions leads to more suffering and problems in the long-term. Learning to turn towards painful emotion can be terrifying, especially when we don't know how. The first two steps (out of five) in how to deal with difficult emotions. How feeling our emotion leads to our growth and development. Mentioned: Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication - Free Guide Untamed, by Glennon Doyle ERP 199: How To Use Emotional Intelligence For Connection ERP 200: How To Use Emotional Intelligence For Connection - Part Two ERP 222: How To Deal With Triggers In Relationship ERP 160: How To Deal With Anxiety In Relationship ERP 126: What To Do When You Feel Insecure In Relationship ERP 127: What To Do When You Feel Insecure In Relationship - Part Two ERP 018: How To Deal With Feelings Of Anger In Relationship ERP 135: HOW TO HANDLE GRIEF AND LOSS IN RELATIONSHIP – PART ONE ERP 136: HOW TO HANDLE GRIEF AND LOSS IN RELATIONSHIP – PART TWO ERP 009: MY PERSONAL STORY – WHAT LED ME INTO THE FIELD OF COUPLES WORK AND RELATIONSHIP COACHING Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

David Richo Ph.D. is a Psychotherapist, Writer, and Workshop Leader. He teaches at a variety of places including Esalen and Spirit Rock Buddhist Center. He shares his time between Santa Barabara and San Francisco in California. Dave combines psychological and spiritual perspectives in his work. In this episode, David Richo and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: The 3 common triggers: fear, anger, and sadness. The valuable lessons you can learn from your triggers. What happens when we live with triggers for a long period of time. Recognizing that you can be triggered by an environment, people, and/or events. Tools for working through triggers. "Relationships work best when we give equal attention to our own needs and to the needs of our partners and children." — David Richo Mentioned: Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication ERP 195: Essential Elements of Love (Podcast) ERP 196: Essential Elements of Love - Part Two (Podcast) Connect with David Richo: Website: DaveRicho.com Books: Triggers When the Past is Present How to Be an Adult in Love Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Brianna Wiest has traveled internationally as a journalist, written for Fortune 500 companies, and has spoken in cities around the continental United States. She is the author of five books, her latest, The Mountain Is You: Transforming Self-Sabotage Into Self-Mastery is being published in 2020. Her dream is to use the power of words to help people awaken to their fullest potential, build emotional intelligence and fulfill their life purpose. In this episode, Brianna Wiest and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: The difference between self-sabotage and victim mentality and how to recognize what you can and cannot control. Recognizing patterns in your relationships, so you can identify where healing needs to take place. "There (is) a shift that people make from being a victim of their story to the person who's writing the story." — Brianna Wiest Letting go of outside voices and expectations, so you can start connecting to what you really want to feel and experience. How self-sabotage is actually about loving yourself, and how that realization can lead to healing. How to gauge your level of self-sabotage, which can help indicate areas of resistance, as well as areas of flow. "Self-sabotage is not a way we hurt ourselves; it's a way we try to protect ourselves." — Brianna Wiest Mentioned: The Mountain Is You: Brianna Wiest Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication Connect with Brianna Wiest: Website: briannawiest.com Instagram: instagram.com/briannawiest Podcast: Get Out Of Your Own Way Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

In this episode, I am answering a listeners's question in how to reconnect emotionally with his wife. In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: The four stages of separation distress. The benefits and value of going slow to maintain emotional balance and regulation. How to reveal and soften to help create safety. The importance of being emotionally present and attuned to your significant other. Where men often get stuck in connecting emotionally, especially when there is conflict. Mentioned: Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication - Free Guide Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships, by Dr. Susan Johnson ERP 220: How To Deal With Stonewalling In Relationship (podcast) Still Face Experiment (video) Hole Me Tight (course) Dr. Susan Johnson talk "Conversations at The Royal: Love Sense" (video) Love Sense (book) by Dr. Susan Johnson Hold Me Tight (book) by Dr. Susan Johnson The Gottman Institute (website) Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Today, I am referencing Dr. Vivek Murthy's book, Together, to offer some added support for the larger conversation around institutional racism, oppression and social justice. In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: The right of human belonging and humanization. The role of disconnection, dehumanization, fear and distrust that plays into our experience. How do we build trust, repair and relationship together. "The challenge of the remainder of our century is how are we as a global family going to attend to the basic fundamentals of creating the right of belonging?" John Paul Lederach in "Together" by Dr. Vivek Murthy Exploring the question..."how do we experience more connection collectively." How to engage in higher quality presence and connection when differences exist. "I have a fundamental belief that at the root of every person is a spark of the Creator. There's something that binds everyone. Even if they are behaving in ways I find reprehensible, we still share a common humanity. And that can't be erased. Even if someone is doing things that are really against me or harming me or society. I feel somewhat of a responsibility to that person." Matthew Stevenson from "Together" by Dr. Vivek Murthy Resources: Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World, by Dr. Vivek Murthy Black Lives Matter (reading list, find a local chapter, donate, etc) Support Campaign Zero, a police reform group that has been working on policy solutions "informed by data and human rights principles." Anti-racism Resources NY Times Antiracist Reading List Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Today, I am pausing from the regularly scheduled episodes to stand in solidarity for Black Out Tuesday and Black Lives Matter. On the Empowered Relationship podcast, we address principles that support healthy relationship. The importance of safety, respect and reverence for people expands beyond intimate connection. We are all a part of a human family. When harm, injury, abuse, injustice occurs, it affects us all whether we turn towards it or we turn away from it. As we talk about on this show, when someone is acting out of protest, there is pain. While the message isn't always clear. If we look deeply, what is underneath is "This is not okay. I am not okay." Today, I invite you to consider putting attention towards positive change and being a part of a solution. I encourage any time you would have allocated towards improving your intimate relationship today to invest in the quality of human connection and with Black Lives specifically. What can you do today to pivot your focus to relationship, care and consideration for the safety and well-being of Black Lives and the experience of African Americans in the United States, as well as your role (your relationship, how you participate or how you don't participate)? We all have a role. There are many ways you can do this. If you are looking for ideas, please see below for some suggestions. Another way to think about this...is what do you do when someone you love or care about is hurting? Or when you feel overwhelmed and don't know what to do? Learn. Read. Listen. Hold space. Get involved. Donate Sign petitions. Resources (not a comprehensive list): Black Lives Matter (reading list, find a local chapter, donate, etc) Support Campaign Zero, a police reform group that has been working on policy solutions "informed by data and human rights principles." Anti-racism Resources NY Times Antiracist Reading List Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Today, I am giving more attention and support to a listener's question, who writes "How do you deal with a partner who stonewalls?" In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: What stonewalling is and what it entails. Common dynamics and patterns that lead to one partner withdrawing or stonewalling. What is often underneath the stonewalling behavior and what it feels like on the receiving end. Research findings about the differences between men and women as it relates to stonewalling. Over time, the pain of stonewalling can be devastating to the emotional bond and relationship. Tips for how to get off the destructive track of the pursuer-withdrawer pattern, so that we can find our emotional balance and start a softer, more positive and constructive conversation with our partner. Mentioned: Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication - Free Guide Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships, by Dr. Susan Johnson ERP 213: How Shame And Grandiosity Relate To Self-Esteem - An Interview With Terry Real (podcast) ERP 210: How Emotionally Intelligent Men Are Key To A Lasting Relationship - An Interview With Kyle Benson (podcast) Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

In last weeks episode, ERP 215, we discussed how connection to other people really begins with our connection to ourself. In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: What loneliness is and how we experience it. The 3 dimensions of loneliness, and how we need all three to thrive. How our expectations and cultural messages influence loneliness. The consequences and health risks of loneliness. "Medicine and technology may fail us at times, but human connection grounded in love and compassion always heals." by Dr. Vivek Murthy How shame and mental health issues interact with loneliness. How loneliness is experienced differently among men and women. Ways to build connection and emotional fitness. "We all have a deep and abiding need to be seen for who we are - as fully dimensional, complex, and vulnerable human beings. We all need to know that we matter and that we are loved. These are the deep-seated needs that secure relationships satisfy, and when they are met, we tend to live healthier, more productive and more rewarding lives. When they go unmet, we suffer." by Dr. Vivek Murthy Mentioned: Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World, by Dr. Vivek Murthy ERP 215: How To Deal With Being "Alone Together" (podcast) ERP 213: How Shame And Grandiosity Relate To Self-Esteem - An Interview With Terry Real (podcast) ERP 210: How Emotionally Intelligent Men Are Key To A Lasting Relationship - An Interview With Kyle Benson (podcast) Dr. Vivek Murthy and Brené on Loneliness and Connection (podcast) ERP 083: How Vibrant Community Helps Support Healthy Relationship - With Christiane Pelmas (podcast) ERP 017: What To Do When You Are Feeling Lonely In Relationship - Part Two (podcast) ERP 016: What To Do When You Are Feeling Lonely In Relationship - Part One (podcast) ERP 110: How To Manage Two Majorly Conflicting Needs In Relationship (podcast) (podcast) Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

When I saw the #alonetogether, I questioned "Is this really what we are all feeling? If anything, it seems like the majority of us are feeling "togetheralone." In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: With the division in perspectives and approaches right now, it can be hard to know how to move forward (with both supporting the economy and people's health and safety). The challenges of separation, distance, lack of connection and contact that people are experiencing right now. Ironically, how taking time to be still and centered supports our clarity, confidence, and connections. "Don't confuse loneliness with time by yourself" by Micaela Marini Higgs" Why getting quality alone time is hard, and our aversion to taking it. How it is easy to mistake or confuse anxiety, exhaustion, and stress for the need to be alone or in solitude. The surprising benefits of choosing to invest in quality alone time. "Our connection to other people really begins with our connection to ourself" By Dr. Vivek Murthy Mentioned: Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World, by Dr. Vivek Murthy Why You Should Find Time to Be Alone With Yourself, by Micaela Marini Higgs Dr. Vivek Murthy and Brené on Loneliness and Connection (podcast) ERP 110: How To Manage Two Majorly Conflicting Needs In Relationship (podcast) (podcast) Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.