Empowered Relationship Podcast: Your Relationship Resource And Guide

Love presents a great opportunity, and it can also feel like a great risk. Especially, when we have felt hurt in the past. If we are not conscious (and aware), we can mistake the fear we feel as an indication that something is off in the relationship or with our partner. The key is to recognize the fear you feel makes sense (understand it's origins) and learn how to work with the fear, so that you can learn to develop more intimacy with your significant other. In the episode, I reference the book "The Highly Sensitive Person In Love," by Elaine Aron. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: How we question our lovability when we have felt hurt in the past. How love and intimacy can be threatening. Fear of loss of control and how to deal with it. Fear of one's "attack and destroy" impulses and what to do about it. Fear of being engulfed and how to take care of yourself. Fear of commitment and what to consider. Fear of disliking the other for subtle annoyances and how to negotiate this with your partner. "Love feels whole, energizing and integrating all parts of us. But wholeness would also mean integrating any repressed, split-off anger and destructiveness." by Elaine Aaron Mentioned: Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication – Free Guide ERP 233: How To Deal With Fears Of Intimacy – Part One (podcast) The Highly Sensitive Person In Love, by Elaine Aaron The Most Dangerous Stories We Make Up, by Brené Brown ERP 018: How To Deal With Feelings Of Anger In Relationship (podcast) ERP 223: How To Deal With Difficult Emotions – Part One (podcast) ERP 224: How To Deal With Difficult Emotions – Part Two (podcast) Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships, by Dr. Susan Johnson ERP 110: HOW TO MANAGE TWO MAJORLY CONFLICTING NEEDS IN RELATIONSHIP (podcast) ERP 093: HOW THE "SHADOW" INFLUENCES OUR GROWTH IN LIFE AND IN RELATIONSHIP WITH DR. KEITH WITT (podcast) ERP 217: HOW TO DEAL WITH STONEWALLING IN RELATIONSHIP (podcast) Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment, by Gay & Kathlyn Hendricks (book) Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

While we want to experience love and intimacy, it can often bring fears to the surface. The fears often have ties to previous pain and are subconscious or unconscious until we enter into a love relationship. In the episode, I reference the book "The Highly Sensitive Person In Love," by Elaine Aron. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: How fears of intimacy develop in one's life. Ways people distance themselves emotionally as a result of a fear of intimacy. How love and intimacy can be threatening. Fear of exposure and rejection and how to deal with it. Fear of angry attacks and what to do about it. Fear of abandonment and how to take care of yourself. "To me intimacy means being authentic, revealing to another your most private and true-in-this-moment self - thoughts, feelings, bodily self." by Elaine Aaron Mentioned: Shifting Criticism into Connected Communication – Free Guide The Highly Sensitive Person In Love, by Elaine Aaron ERP 110: HOW TO MANAGE TWO MAJORLY CONFLICTING NEEDS IN RELATIONSHIP (podcast) ERP 221: HOW TO RECOGNIZE AND WORK WITH SELF-SABOTAGE IN RELATIONSHIP AN INTERVIEW WITH BRIANNA WIEST (podcast) ERP 093: HOW THE "SHADOW" INFLUENCES OUR GROWTH IN LIFE AND IN RELATIONSHIP WITH DR. KEITH WITT (podcast) ERP 217: HOW TO DEAL WITH STONEWALLING IN RELATIONSHIP (podcast) Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment, by Gay & Kathlyn Hendricks (book) Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Bio: Melissa Costello is a Transformational Eating Coach, Holistic Nutritionist, Speaker and Author. Her mission is to empower busy professionals to get off the yo-yo dieting rollercoaster and end emotional eating so they can lose the weight that is holding them back from living a life they truly love. Melissa's in-depth training in Spiritual Psychology, Clinical Nutrition and holistic coaching along with her own personal struggles provides the foundation for her clients to experience powerful breakthroughs and sustainable, profound transformation. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) In this episode, Melissa Costello and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: Looking at our relationship to food and how we use food for more than just it's nutritional value. How to know if you struggle with food or have issues around food. The stress of emotional eating and/or viewing our body's in a negative way. How to tune out all the noise that keeps us confused and conflicted about how to eat and what to eat. The challenges couples face together around food and eating. How to turn towards your body's wisdom and intelligence. Gaining clarity and confidence in making decisions for the health of OUR bodies. "What was one negative thing someone said to you about your body, where you made a decision about yourself?" — Melissa Costello Mentioned: Smash The Wellness Industry NYT article Killing Us Softly Wikipedia Connect with Melissa Costello: Email: missy@karmachow.com Website: Karma Chow Instagram: @karmachow Facebook: KarmaChow Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Bio: Stacie Ysidro is the founder of Holistic Progressions and is acknowledged by the World Association of Sex Coaches. Starting her career with business and life coaching in 2009, Stacie combined sexology education, somatic coaching and spirituality to create a unique transformational experience for her clients. Over the 10+ years of service in her industry, Stacie has helped thousands of clients create a sexually satisfying life in recovery, overcome sexual guilt and shame, learn the language of arousal and pleasure, and reignite passion in their relationships. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) In this episode, Stacie and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: Our unconscious tendencies in how we show up in sexual intimacy. Dealing with shame and old programming around our sexual expression. How our traumas, big and small, influence our experience and our ability to prioritize pleasure. The importance of redefining our sexual value system. Three tips to improve your own sexual energy. How to let the walls of protection down to allow for more vulnerability, safety and connection. The need to feel loved and accepted for who we are truly. Understanding that as your relationship changes your sex life will too, examine what your needs and wants are, and why. Explore and examine what is important to you, what you love about yourself, and what you love about your partner. "The journey to full sexual self-expression and sexual self-acceptance is the deepest most powerful way that you can step into personal growth and development." — Stacie Ysidro Mentioned: Erotic Blueprint Community ERP 071: How To Use Sexual EnergyTo Improve Your Health & Relationship – With Sarina Stone ERP 211: How To Get Rid Of Shame To Increase Pleasure In The Bedroom – With Ian Ferguson Connect with Stacie Ysidro: Email: holisticprogressions@gmail.com Website: Holistic Progressions Instagram: @sexcoach_stacie Facebook: Sober Intimacy Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Bio: Dr. Gleb Tsipursky is an internationally-recognized thought leader known as the Disaster Avoidance Expert, who is on a mission to protect leaders from dangerous judgment errors known as cognitive biases, which devastate bottom lines and bring down high-flying careers. His expertise and passion is developing the most effective and profitable decision-making strategies to empower leaders to avoid business disasters, maximize their bottom lines, and help their careers flourish. His proprietary methodology combines his pragmatic business experience with cutting-edge behavioral economics and cognitive neuroscience research. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) In this episode, Dr. Gleb Tsipursky and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: Tribal brain systems: the flight, fight, or freeze environment Cognitive biases, training ourselves to notice when we are making judgment errors. Transparency in communication and misperception in communication. Emotions and their impact on our decision-making skills. Transparency and mission bias in our communication with others. The bias blind spot as it relates to cognitive bias. External perspective to eliminate bias, pessimistic vs optimistic perspectives and the related cognitive biases. "Everyone has cognitive biases just due to who we are." — Gleb Tsipursky Mentioned: The Blindspots Between Us: How to Overcome Unconcious Cognitive Bias and Build Better Relationships by Gleb Tsipursky Connect with Gleb Tsipursky: Website: disasteravoidanceexperts.com LinkedIn: Dr. Gleb Tsipursky Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Recently, I have been recommending the book "Eight Dates: Essential Conversations For A Lifetime Of Love" by John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Doug Abrams and Rachel Carlton Abrams. Since the last two podcast episodes have been referring to the importance of connecting and dating in relationship, I thought it would be valuable to share this book with you. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) In this episode, Dr. Jessica Higgins discusses: How being curious and interested in and with your partner will support a lifetime of learning, intimacy and vitality with your partner. The importance of seeing love as a practice. What threatens commitment and trust in relationship and how to built trust together. How conflict is inevitable in every relationship, and understanding the real goal of conflict. Learning the difference between solvable problems and perpetual problems. What helps partners create a great sex life together. Understanding the essential role of play and adventure in your relationship, so that you can keep things fresh and exciting. "Vulnerability creates trust, and trust is the oxygen your relationship needs to breathe." by John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Doug Abrams and Rachel Carlton Abrams. Mentioned: Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love ERP 227: How To Date Your Significant Other - An Interview with Dr. Bill Harley ERP 228: How To See Relationship As A Spiritual Teacher - An Interview With Allana Pratt Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Bio: Allana Pratt is an intimacy expert, relationship coach, author of 6 books, and the host of the edgy podcast "Intimate Conversations." Allana offers private, group and online coaching programs for singles and couples to help her clients develop a healthy, intimate relationship with themselves first, which naturally attracts and enhances their ideal partnerships. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) In this episode, Allana Pratt and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: How our partner will mirror our work. How to see our partner as our master spiritual teacher. The power of taking ownership and offering an apology that lands. How to become the one to awaken the one. The process of growth and integration versus bypassing our wounded parts. How we get transparency by giving transparency. Tips for couples connection. Presencing together as a couple. A dyad date night exercise for intimacy. Tune into one another and keep asking the question, be open and curious. "All hearts when they are wounded close." — Allana Pratt Mentioned: Finding 'The One' is Bullsh*t: Becoming 'The One' is Brilliant & Beautiful, by Allana Pratt Jennifer Jimenez Vibrant Healthy Living David Deangelo Connect with Allana Pratt: Website: AllanaPratt.com Podcast: Intimate Conversations Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/coachallanapratt Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/user/AlanaPratt?sub_confirmation=1 Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Willard F. Harley, Jr., Ph.D. earned his Ph.D. degree in psychology from the University of California at Santa Barbara in 1967 and has been a Licensed Clinical Psychologist in Minnesota since 1975. Dr. Harley is best known as the author of the internationally best selling book, His Needs, Her Needs: Building An Affair-proof Marriage. Dr. Harley's ground-breaking mental-health approach to marriage therapy has saved countless marriages over the decades, and continues to do so today. He has written 23 other books and continues to write, speak, and lead seminars throughout the US and Canada. Dr. and Mrs. Harley also host a daily one-hour call-in show, Marriage Builders® Radio. It can be heard on radio stations and on the Internet. They have been married for 54 years and live in White Bear Lake, Minnesota. They have two adult children, who are now working with them as marriage coaches, and four grandchildren. Mentioned: His Needs, Her Needs, by Willard Harley In this episode, Dr. Bill Harley and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: The four emotional needs that must be addressed in order to fall in love, stay in love, or get love back again. Breaking the "love busters" to create an environment where a date would actually be a mutually enjoyable experience. How finding things you enjoy doing together, and encouraging each other's individual passions can build connection. Using the "Love Bank Inventory" to measure what areas of love building need more attention. "No matter where you are in your marriage, dating can create a great marriage for you. It can solve all of your communication problems, it can solve all the struggles that you've been having, trying to make decisions. And I just challenge couples to recognize that 15 hours a week of undivided attention is the answer." — Dr. Bill Harley Connect with Dr. Bill Harley: Website: Marriage Builders® - Successful Marriage Advice Twitter: Marriage Builders (@marriagebuilder) Facebook: Marriage Builders - Home YouTube: MarriageBuilders Show: Marriage Builders Radio Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

With 25 years of post-graduate training and advanced level certifications, Wendy Behary is the founder and director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC and DC. She has been treating clients, training professionals, and supervising psychotherapists for more than 20 years. Wendy has a specialty in treating narcissists and the people who live with and deal with them. As an author and an expert on the subject of narcissism, she is a contributing chapter author of several chapters on Schema Therapy for narcissism. She lectures both nationally and internationally to professional and general audiences on the subject of Schema Therapy, and the subject of narcissism, relationships, and dealing with difficult people. In this episode, Wendy Behary and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: How confusing and disorienting it can be to be in a relationship with a narcissist. Understanding how a narcissist got to be how they are and what it entails. The spectrum of narcissism. The goal of a narcissist and the missing piece in relationship. How one's own schema, or learned thought patterns and behaviors, can be triggered by, and play into, the tendencies of a narcissist. How to have an effect of the relationship. How to get your emotional balance, so that you can approach your partner with empathic confrontation. The work that goes into helping someone feel capable of standing on their own, to be the strongest healthiest adult they can be, and their own best advocate. "To hear your own voice, to stand up for yourself...That's a new new movement, which will guide you towards making a decision about this relationship one way or the other, but making it from a healthy position, not from a frightened reaction." — Wendy Behary Mentioned: Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed, by Wendy Behary Loving Leaving Living With...The Narcissist In Your Life Connect with Guest: Website: disarmingthenarcissist.com LinkedIn: Wendy Behary - Speaker-Lecturer - PESI Facebook: Wendy T. Behary Email: wendy.behary@gmail.com Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com Shifting Criticism For Connected Communication If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.

Dr. Debi Silber is the founder of the Post Betrayal Transformation Institute and is a holistic psychologist, health, mindset, and personal development expert, the author of The Unshakable Woman: 4 Steps to Rebuilding Your Body, Mind, and Life After a Life Crisis and the forthcoming book: Trust Again. Her recent Ph.D. study on how we experience betrayal made 3 groundbreaking discoveries that change how long it takes to heal. She's an award-winning speaker, coach, and author dedicated to helping people move past their betrayals as well as any other blocks preventing them from the health, work, finances, relationships, confidence, and happiness they want most. (Please listen to the podcast episode or read the transcript to hear explanations, stories, and examples.) In this episode, Debi and Dr. Jessica Higgins discuss: Moving through the 5 stages of healing. Exploring deeper the levels of trust and deeper the levels of betrayal. Learning to recognize the physical and emotional symptoms of post betrayal syndrome. Micro betrayal: small betrayals that slowly deteriorate the trust in relationships. When a betrayer has no consequences, further deterioration of the relationship occurs and healing cannot begin. Beginning healing and starting the process of rebuilding relationships. Face it, feel it, heal it: working through betrayal and become the strongest version of yourself. "Betrayal is the breaking of a spoken or unspoken rule." — Debi Silber Mentioned: Untamed by Glennon Doyle Trust Again, by Debi Silber The Unshakable Woman: 4 Steps to Rebuilding Your Body, Mind, and Life After a Life Crisis, by Debi Silber Connect with Debi Silber: Website: ThePBTInstitute.com Membership Community Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins: Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins Twitter: @DrJessHiggins Website: drjessicahiggins.com Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the "Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins" button here. Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship. Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here. Thank you! If you are interested in developing new skills to overcome relationship challenges, please consider taking the Connected Couple Program or engaging in relationship coaching work with me.