Maximize Your Influence

How do you overcome this lack of credibility? Here are several ideas great persuaders use to boost their credibility: 1. In this very skeptical world your prospect is looking for a weakness. If you don't give them some type of weakness (personal or product), they will assign a weakness for you. Great persuaders increase credibility by revealing an apparent weakness and turning that perceived weakness into a desired benefit. 2. Credibility is enhanced by every minute of preparation. Great persuaders never "wing it" or leave anything to chance. If your audience ever feels you should know the answer but don't, you have lost credibility. Plan, rehearse and polish your presentation. Always research your audience. 3. Your audience is going to judge you in the first thirty seconds. How do you really look? How are you really coming across? Can you maintain eye contact? Is your appearance professional, polished, and what your audience expects. 4. When you enter a low-credibility situation or when you audience does not know you, borrow the credibility from someone else. Who can endorse or recommend you? Who can introduce you that already has credibility with your audience? Learn to always ask and get testimonials from happy current clients. 5. One of the quickest ways to lose your credibility is to badmouth the competition. You don't have to resort to pulling down others to enhance your own product or service. If you can't persuade based on the quality of your product or service, it is time to change careers. If the consumer needs to be legitimately warned about the competition, provide ways for them to find out for themselves. 6. Pepper your presentation with credible facts, figures, statistics, or studies to reinforce your message. Never assume your audience thinks you are credible without using outside resources. Always remember to cite your sources. Your audience will always believe someone else before they will start to believe you. 7. Find ways to reveal your qualifications without coming across as a braggart. You need to reveal (or display) your expertise, qualifications, education, and experience so you will come across as the expert. The moment your audience accepts you as the expert, you have their undivided attention. Reveal to your audience why you are the expert and why you have earned the right to persuade about your product, service or idea.

One of the key ways to keep your competency on track is to be a lifetime learner. We consider others to be competent when we see them continually learning and advancing their training and education. I can remember going to buy computer products and discovering that I knew more about the product than the sales reps did (and I didn't know much). In an attempt to cover up their lack of knowledge, these ill-informed salespeople tried to bluff their way through my questions. If they had kept themselves educated about the product, the field, and the industry, then they would not have lost my trust in them as competent professionals—and they would not have lost a customer. Learn to become the best in your field. Demonstrate you know your area of expertise. You should know more about your subject than 99 percent of the population. The following are some specific ways you can gain and strengthen your competence, both actual and perceived: Degree(s) Professional standing Affiliations with respected organizations Publications Referrals Endorsements Reputation External surroundings Definite opinions Testimonials Passion

After briefly mentioning it on last week's episode, Kurt and Steve quickly learned that most have a lot of "feelings about" the urban phenomena, RBF (otherwise known as Resting Bitch Face). So they dived in a little more and wouldn't you know it...there's an actual website that will tell you if you have it! All we ask is that if you do, you send us your picture to maximizeyourinfluence@gmail.com. We want to see what RBF looks like! Ingratiation: Make Others Feel Important Ingratiation is gaining favor by deliberate effort. Ingratiation techniques can include compliments, flattery, and agreeableness. Ingratiation can also involve a special recognition of someone such as, "We don't usually do this, but in your case I'm going to make an exception," or "I am personally going to take care of this matter and see that you get what you want." Many people consider ingratiation sucking up or brown-nosing, but it is an effective technique for making others more persuadable. The reason this strategy works is because The Law of Esteem increases likability and promotes an increase in their self-esteem Research has demonstrated these conclusions about using ingratiation. In one study, "ingratiators" were perceived as more competent, motivated, and qualified for leadership positions by their supervisors. In another study, subordinates who used ingratiation developed an increased job satisfaction for themselves, their coworkers, and their supervisor. In yet another study, ingratiators enjoyed a 5 percent edge over noningratiators in earning more favorable job evaluations. Ingratiation works even when it is perceived as a deliberate effort to win someone over. Our esteem is so starved that we accept any flattery or praise we can get. Interesting Ingratiation Facts • It is better to use one great effective ingratiation method, than lots of smaller ones or in other words, less is more. • Ingratiators will be judged more positively using opinion or compliments conformity by the prospect than by a bystander. • Ingratiation will always work better when we are using downward influence (coworker, employee, you are their manager) • When we are attempting upward influence. (boss, CEO, power player) Using apology, self- deprecation are more successful when you are persuading up or there is a large difference in status. Using favors or compliments have little effect. • When ingratiating someone and they know you have an ulterior motive and it is transparent it will likely fail and decrease their liking towards you.

The worst thing for a persuader is that your audience members probably won’t ever confront you about your dishonesty or deception. They are not going to tell you that they think you are lying. They’ll just never work with you again and they’ll then tell all their family and friends about the bad experience they had with you behind your back. Even if you’re an honest person of admirable character, it is human nature for people to cast sweeping judgments and formulate opinions without all the facts. So, if you want genuine trust and lasting persuasion, you must avoid even the slightest appearance of anything that might be considered dishonest. If you never place yourself in a situation where one might be misled about you or your integrity, then your good, hard-earned reputation will never be compromised. Don’t embellish the story to make it sound better; don’t omit certain information to cover your own skin. What are some nonverbal behaviors that will trigger incongruence and a sense of deception? Forced eye contact Shifting back in chair Rubbing lips Scratching your face Dilated pupils Yawning Pitch of voice rising

self-perception bias Ever wonder why others can’t smell their own stink? (perfume or body order) We are good at judging others and finding out what is wrong with them, but that analysis does not seem to work on ourselves. The same is true for our skills. We have to have the ability to honestly access ourselves – both our strengths and weaknesses. Then find the skills and the discipline to improve our faults. We always will feel we must gloss over our weaknesses to make things seem better than they actually are. We also lie to ourselves about our incomes, our debt, and our true weight. When you ask husbands and wives individually about what percent of the housework they each do – the numbers never add up. Most people will rate their people skills as above average. We all know that is not true. If you want to see human blindness and bias in action, all you have to do is go to a sporting event as a neutral party and listen to the bias and comments of each opposing side. The Research To hit this point home we need to discover our own weaknesses and be honest with our own personal reality. Let’s take a look at some of the studies on self perception bias. To enhance your success and your influence, you need to know exactly what skills you have mastered and which ones you need work on. Isn’t it amazing how we tend to overestimate everything from grades and physical appearance to the possibility of divorce. If you were in sales and you were asked to rate your ability to connect with people or your product knowledge, you would be 90 percent likely to rate yourself above average on these skills, even though mathematically the validity of your assertion should be around 50 percent. You know all those managers you have met over the years? Over 90 percent of them will rate themselves better than the average manager. Did you know 80% of individuals may perceive themselves as being brighter, better drivers and more able entrepreneurs than their average peers. One study even found that most people believe they are more ___________ than the average person. • Athletic • Intelligent • Organized • Ethical • Logical • Interesting • Fair-minded • Attractive The Solution It is all about true self-assessment. When I teach influence or self mastery seminars I ask my students to list the top ten reasons for their lack of success. They find plenty of reasons why it is not their fault for their inability to achieve their goals, but they rarely take ownership of their weaknesses or admit that it could be them. You can always ask yourself - What traits do I need to develop to take my life, my career and my income to the next level? My research of human nature shows that there are five critical areas that most people assess to have much higher skills than they actually have. When other people assess themselves of these skills, their scores are much lower. These are the five areas. 1. People skills/empathy 2. Persistence/determination 3. Communication/listening 4. Personal mastery 5. Persuasion skills

Keeping Attention: A Bored Mind Says NO! It is common sense to realize you have to keep your audience's attention in order to persuade them. If you lose them, you lose your chance for them to understand and accept your proposal. We know from our own personal experience that we tend to let our minds naturally drift when we are listening to other people. We cannot focus on one item for too long unless we are forced to do so. Master Persuaders can make a person want to pay attention and stay focused. You may lose your audience’s attention from time to time but it is your job to bring them back to full attention status. You can help your prospect lose track of time. Some estimate that the average adult attention span is about 18 minutes. What’s more, studies indicate that attention spans have been decreasing steadily over the past decade. After our attention span is lapsed, we fall into boredom and no longer listen. You have to be creative to maintain the mental involvement that is required to persuade a mind. One way to keep the mind harnessed is to give your audience enough time to process what you are telling them. You can tell by the look in their eyes if you have lost them. I'm sure you have taken seminars or college classes where you have been completely lost. When the professor asks questions, you don't raise your hand because you have no idea what is going on. Give your listeners enough time to absorb what you're saying, but obviously not so long that they become totally bored and detached. Some more ideas on ways to help people choose to pay attention: •Use questions •Make startling statements •Use quotes •Change mediums •Speak in the first person •Present new and innovative ideas You can see that these techniques are used to grab back the attention of your listeners when their minds have started wandering. Employed properly they will bring your audience’s attention back to you.

The old-school approach to persuasion put a lot of the emphasis on the final outcome: clinching the deal, closing the sale. Back then, it was a lot more about getting the sale than having a true and lasting relationship with an actual person. The problem with being so closing-oriented is that a persuasive encounter is not a static, one-sided arrangement. The “persuadee” is not some brainless lump who will unquestioningly accept everything you say. They are living, breathing human beings, which means the exchange is two-sided. You have to establish rapport very early on, making a good and lasting first impression, and you have to keep the rapport going. Many persuaders don’t know how to maintain rapport throughout the entire exchange. They’re good at breaking the ice and helping their audience feel comfortable, but when it comes to “getting down to business,” all of a sudden their demeanor changes. Their light-hearted, jovial manner may turn into intense seriousness as they launch into “the bottom line.” When this transformation takes place, what is the audience supposed to think? The person they were joking around with for the past ten minutes has now completely morphed into someone else. Which one is the real person? Great persuaders don’t focus on their persuasive encounters in terms of initial “kick-off” and final “closing.” They maintain rapport and connection by keeping the exchange emotionally and logically on the same plane. Think of your audience as a friend you will see and do business with again. Do not allow yourself any abrupt mood changes; be flexible and willing to adjust to the many moods and emotions your audience may go through.

This week's article is sure to offend some listeners. If you're a short man or an overweight woman, the British Medical Journal has bad news for you. Hey were just the messenger! Check out their recent study linking hight, body mass, and socio-economic status. "Price is what you pay. Value is what you get." -Warren Buffett The Law of Contrast explains how we are affected when we are introduced to two different alternatives or options in succession. We know that contrasting two alternatives can distort or amplify our perceptions of price, time or effort. Generally, if the second item is quite different from the first, we will tend to see them even more differently than they actually are. As a Power Persuader, you can use this contrast to navigate your audience toward the object of your persuasion. The use of contrast is based on our perception of items or events that happen one right after the other. If you've had a rotten day because you found out you're losing your job and you come home to a new scratch on your car, you will have a different reaction than if you were having a great day because you're getting a promotion and then came home to the scratch on your car. It's the same scratch, but there are very different perceptions and reactions to it. Contrast is used for negotiations. When we offer a really low or high bid or when we ask for $200 and only expect $50. This is contrast. What if you thought it was a 60 minute meeting and then it only took 30 minutes. What if that 15 minute meeting lasted 30 minutes? This is all about human perception. The human mind has to find a benchmark or comparison to make judgments, especially when we are talking about unfamiliar situations or new products. People need to make comparisons with their past experience and knowledge. The brain will always attempt to contrast your product or service. Is it the best or worst, cheapest or most expensive? Is your product the safe or risky choice or is it familiar or strange? By presenting your prospects with contrast, you are creating those comparisons for them. The mind can't process everything at once and so it develops shortcuts to help make decisions. Instead of making a completely internal judgment, we look for boundaries, patterns, and polar opposites. We want to know the difference between our options, so we naturally contrast the two items. We mentally create a value or price in our mind from highest to lowest. Do you want your prospects to compare your product or service to a second-hand used car or to a Rolls Royce? You get to decide where you want them to start their benchmark. Adjusting Value Examples Bonuses - 3 bonuses worth $25 each have more value than to get one bonus worth $75 Product – Having all your product arrive in one box has less value than receiving 3 separate shipments. Retail – Keeping the high prices at a grocery store increases the perception of value and savings when the savings is shown on the receipt Cars – We feel like we get a better deal on a car when we see the large retail price, and we get a rebate. Payments - It is easier to swallow the monthly payments on a large purchase rather than seeing the whole price tag upfront. Gas – Getting a 10 cent discount when you pay cash is easier to swallow than a 10 cent surcharge for using your credit card. Payroll – There is higher perceived income when you separate all their benefits on their check versus putting it all in one large sum. Negotiation – Starting as high or low as possible will get you better terms.

All human beings yearn for direction and guidance. That’s why someone with a vision is so alluring and influential to us. Charismatics are able to create a strong clear vision of the future. People will jump on board when they can see that there is a solid vivid vision in place that they can touch, taste, feel, or see. No one wants to get on a sinking ship. People want to know: What’s the plan? Where are we going? What are we aiming for? Your goal is to powerfully present how your vision is the solution to their problems. Your vision must bridge the gap between their present situation and their desired situation—where they are, and where they want to be. Vision is powerful because it keeps us focused on the future objective instead of getting stuck in the current preoccupations of the day. It gives us focus and purpose for the future. It creates a big picture. A cohesive common vision brings people together and unites them toward the same goals and objectives. Charismatic people have a clearly defined vision and are filled with great enthusiasm and expectation. Remember more than anything else in life, vision—whether it’s yours or somebody else’s—dictates your daily decisions. When the vision is clear, the right decisions are easier to make. A true vision diminishes the fear of failure, negative thinking and promotes synergy. They want to know what is in for them in the long-term. Why should they support you and your vision? How does this affect the whole team? Your vision builds a bridge from the present status quo to the future objective.

Have you noticed the dramatic changes that have evolved in presentations, communication, and training over the last twenty years? The basic focus used to be on education. Many people are still trying to educate and they always lose their audiences. Now, the latest research is all about how to grab and keep your audience’s attention, while maintaining charisma. We can no longer focus simply on educating; we must now entertain and influence. We must keep our audiences attention. We must be charismatic. Charismatic people can maintain and earn the attention of their audience. We know that people’s attention spans are getting shorter and shorter. You don’t have to dance around or be stand-up comedian, but you do have to make sure your audience follows your message, that your words resonate with them, they pay attention, and they understand your message. The moment you lose their attention, you can no longer influence them and they definitely can’t feel any charisma. You could have a great product or cause, be a sharp dresser, publish a great brochure, or even have impressive credentials. The reality is, however, that the number-one persuasion tool is you, and a big part of how you present yourself and your charisma is through your ability to communicate. Long gone are the days of hoping people will listen, making them listen or hoping the topic will compensate for your weaknesses as a presenter. Practice your presentation so it becomes part of you, instead of a slick PowerPoint or a tired outline. Manage your fear, anxiety or nervousness, so you can radiate charisma.