Parenting Teenagers Untangled - Understand and Talk to Your Teenager
Rachel Richards
Hello, I'm Rachel Richards, former BBC Correspondent, CNBC Europe World News Anchor and mum, on a mission to make parenting teens much less stressful, and even enjoyable. Do you ever feel like you don’t know what you’re doing?Firstly, have a big hug from me.Secondly, you’re doing better than you think you are. No, really, you are. There’s too much talk about what a parent should be, and how we can optimise and perfect ourselves, and not enough about how well you’re coping in this complicated world as you hold your shizzle together.I mean it, the most important message is that you CANNOT be perfect. You’re going to lose your rag, you’re going to get upset and say stupid things and make mistakes and hate your kids and your partner and your life from time to time.Take it from me, if you’re going to worry about anything make it: ‘Am I being curious enough?’Asking questions will get you everywhere as a parent of teenagers, and the place to do most of your practice is… yourself and your own thoughts and beliefs.So, welcome, pull up a chair, drop your baggage, and make yourself comfortable. Let’s learn together.The Podcast:A fellow mum begged me to start my podcast because she wanted someone she trusted to help her through the teen years, and I’ll be forever grateful to her because the journey has transformed my own parenting and benefited my family beyond imagination.Here’s the good news, this podcast is free and you can learn everything I learned just by starting at the beginning and going through every episode.If you want to go a bit faster then scroll through and pick subjects that cover what you need right now. If you can’t find what you want then message me and I’ll tell you which one will help you most. If it’s not something I’ve covered then I’m like a dog chasing a stick, so you’ll soon get your answers.My main aim is to help you stop trying to be perfect, or comparing yourself and your kids with others. Your only real job is to focus on getting to know the amazing people you have in your life, loving them unconditionally, and showing them you believe they can do hard things.JOIN ME ON SUBSTACK:For those of you who want more, or who just want to help me feel like the pebbles I have dropped in the ocean of life are making a difference, why not join my paid community? You’ll get one-to-one support and printable PDF’s that give you the top tips from each podcast episode so you have your own little, bespoke manual.ASK ME ANYTHING: I’m very busy behind the scenes reading everything so you don’t have to, and when you subscribe you have the chance to ask me anything. If I don’t know the answer I’ll head out like an eager truffle pig, ready to snuffle out the best for you.COMMUNITY: I’ll be offering regular extras, including tips and thoughts, that help you tune into what matters.All of the community notes, and tips, will remain available to paid subscribers. I want to make this more about fun and less about fear.PDF NOTES: So many listeners say they have rewound the episodes to write down notes, well now there’s no need. Paid subscribers will have a weekly, downloadable, summary of the top tips from each episode, so you don’t have to take notes.Please let me know if there are any old episodes for which you’d like the notes. I’m very happy to supply them.POINTERS: Ask me if there’s something you’re struggling with, I can tell you which episode is most suitable for you, because there are a lot to trawl through.
Episodes
Mentioned books
Nov 26, 2025 • 43min
The 'Super System' To Help Teens Stay on Task; Even Those With ADHD
In this enlightening discussion, Sean Geraghty, executive skills coach and author of 'I'll Do It Later,' shares insights from his experience with neurodivergent teens. He introduces the innovative 'SUPER System'—Sleep, Unplug, Plan, Eat, Roam—to help teens manage tasks effectively. Sean emphasizes the importance of understanding teenage perspectives, building rapport, and using positive reinforcement. He suggests practical strategies like short daily rituals and collaboration with schools, all while nurturing creativity and flexibility in support approaches.
Nov 19, 2025 • 39min
How to Raise Kids Who Speak Their Minds (Without Fear)
Dr. Chloe Carmichael, a clinical psychologist and author specializing in anxiety and communication, tackles the rising anxiety around free speech and self-censorship. She reveals how everyday topics can become politically charged, especially for teens fearing isolation. Chloe discusses the detrimental 'no contact' trend in relationships and offers practical tips like reflective listening and fostering open dialogue. She emphasizes the mental health benefits of free expression, helping listeners navigate difficult conversations at home and in social settings.
16 snips
Nov 12, 2025 • 56min
Talk to your boys: Masculinity, gaming, sexuality and emotions.
Joanna Schroeder, co-author of 'Talk to Your Boys' and educator, dives into the complexities of raising emotionally aware young men. She highlights how boys often mask their emotions and offers strategies to foster genuine dialogue rather than authoritarian communication. Discussing the pressures of masculinity, Joanna emphasizes the importance of empathy and connection. She also shares tips on managing screen time, navigating sex education, and creating safe spaces for tough conversations, ensuring boys grow up as respectful, resilient individuals.
15 snips
Nov 5, 2025 • 38min
Your Teen Is Already Using AI—Here’s How to Talk to Them About It
Jenny Anderson, an award-winning journalist and expert on education and AI, dives into how technology impacts adolescent learning. She explains the importance of struggle in education, arguing that Silicon Valley seeks to eliminate crucial 'friction' in learning. Jenny highlights the balance between AI's benefits and potential drawbacks, including its effect on curiosity and critical thinking. Parents are encouraged to experiment with AI tools while fostering their children's agency and interests to enhance learning and maintain healthy human connections.
12 snips
Oct 29, 2025 • 48min
Mental health problems in teenagers. We can't just blame phones.
In this insightful discussion, guest Matt Richtel, a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and author focusing on adolescent development, reveals the complexities of today's teenage mental health crisis. He argues that early puberty paired with overwhelming information leads to anxiety and introspection, coining the term 'Generation Rumination.' Matt shares effective parenting strategies, emphasizing the importance of sleep, in-person interactions, and emotional coping techniques. He encourages validating teens' feelings and fostering curiosity to help them navigate a rapidly changing world.
Oct 22, 2025 • 54min
Drugs: Half of 15 year olds have been exposed. How to talk with your kids about drugs.
Ask Rachel anythingTo lose a child is one of the worst things any of us an imagine. To lose him at 16 to a recreational drug is an unbearable pain. That's what happened to Fiona Spargo-Mabbs OBE, but she has turned her pain into an incredible quest to turn her 'I wish I'd known', suffering into a book, a drugs education foundation, and support for all of us parents so we never have to go through the pain she has suffered. In this incredible conversation, Fiona discusses the importance of drug education, the prevalence of drug use among youth, and the need for better parental awareness and conversations. She emphasizes the significance of understanding drug effects, the rise of synthetic drugs like spice and THC vapes, and the impact of drug use on mental health and addiction. Fiona also highlights the role of peer influence and the importance of providing youth with positive alternatives to drug use, such as sports and community activities.Fiona Spargo-Mabbs OBE: www.dsmfoundation.org.ukIf you would like more detail, including a printable PDF covering the important lessons of this episode, join The Big Hug community at: teenagersuntangled.substack.comHere are just 10 of the things we discuss in this episode:Most teenagers will face a drug-related decision by age 15, even if they don't use drugs themselvesThe adolescent brain is more vulnerable to drug harm and addiction because it's arleady undergoing to rigorous rewiringModern drugs are significantly stronger and more dangerous than in previous generationsPeer pressure can be positive - teens can help each other make safer choicesHaving pre-planned "escape strategies" and reasons to say no can help teenagers avoid risky situationsConnection and positive activities (sports, music, volunteering) are powerful alternatives to drug useParents should have frequent, short conversations about drugs rather than one big intimidating talkSynthetic drugs like spice can be extremely dangerous, with one in six school vapes potentially containing harmful substancesUnderstanding how drugs actually work in the brain helps teenagers make more informed decisionsThe most effective approach is being a supportive, non-judgmental parent who provides reliable information and creates a safe space for honest conversationsSupport the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.comFind me on Substack: https://teenagersuntangled.substack.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk
Oct 19, 2025 • 39min
Grief, university, rules and consequences, raising boys, chores and phones. Community Catch Up
Ask Rachel anythingFor this Sunday catch up I was joined by Susie Asli to discuss the challenges of parenting during times of personal loss, such as the death of a pet or a parent. We share our experiences of our children’s different reactions to grief and the importance of allowing them to grieve in their own ways. We also talk about the transition to university, the generational differences in parenting, and the importance of respecting teenagers’ independence.I introduced a new app called Foqos, which helps manage device usage, and emphasised the need for parents to model good behavior and maintain open communication with their children.Full episode links, and other details, will be available to Substack subscribersteenagersuntangled.substack.comSupport the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.comFind me on Substack: https://teenagersuntangled.substack.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk
Oct 15, 2025 • 45min
Most teenagers aren't getting enough sleep. Here's how to fix it.
Ask Rachel anythingSleep's a FREE performance-enhancer, so why are so many teens not getting enough?For us parents, sleep is the thing we all obsess about when we first bring our babies home, but if you're anything like me by the time they hit teens we've become pretty lax around that solid bedtime routine. In fact, research shows that around 2/3rds of teenagers aren't getting adequate sleep.Why does this happen? In my case, I was exhausted from years of implementing a solid routine and they had become more interesting, so I wanted to spend more time with my kids in the evening. They were also busy doing other things; sports, socialising, homework.Mostly, I think it's not a goal we target or brag about, so it becomes the silent victim of our busy lives.That's why I decided it was time to talk to an expert (and parent who's navigated this) on sleep.In this conversation Jessica Bryant of the Better Sleep Council helps us parents really think about our family attitude to sleep, how to support our teens in getting the amount they need, and to problem-solve your struggles.Thanks to all of you lovely listeners who sent in your questions.Jessica Bryant Sleep Happy Consultinghttps://www.sleephappyconsulting.com/The original sleep episode:https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/sleep-the-free-fix-for-our-teens-with-no-side-effects/RESEARCH: Showed insufficient sleep on an average school night was reported by 68.9% of students. It was associated with higher odds of current use of cigarettes, marijuana, current sexual activity, seriously considered attempting suicide, feeling sad or hopeless, physical fighting, not being physically active:https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21843548/Cross-national variations in adolescent sleep patters:https://www.researchgate.net/publication/375375396_Cross-National_Variations_in_Adolescent_Sleep_Patterns_A_Time-Use_Study?utm_source=chatgpt.comSupport the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.comFind me on Substack: https://teenagersuntangled.substack.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk
Oct 8, 2025 • 55min
Preventing our kids from developing eating disorders.
Ask Rachel anythingWhatever food fears we've inherited, or learned, will be passed on to our kids unless we understand and challenge our beliefs, according to food psychologist, Dr Anna Colton. As she rightly points out, fear-mongering about killer bars or toxic foods is way more dangerous, long-term, than the food itself.In this episode we talk openly about my own struggles with my family's attitude to food, and Dr Colton explains in detail why it's way better to prevent our kids developing issues than it is to deal with the terrifying results of an eating disorder.As she says: 'Eating disorders really do kill.'She wants to help us parents raise a generation that trusts their bodies and enjoys food without guilt, fear or shame.In this episode we talk about how to:Recognize early signs of disordered eatingSpeak neutrally about food and body imageProtect your children from harmful diet culture messagingUnderstand the complex factors behind eating disordersCreate a supportive home environment that promotes healthy eating habitsThe shocking study that proved anorexia is cause by weight loss.Whether you're parenting teens, tweens, or younger children, this episode offers practical strategies to help your kids develop a positive relationship with food and their bodies. Dr. Colton's expert advice will empower you to break generational cycles of unhealthy attitudes about eating and self-image.Dr Anna Coltonhttps://www.dranna.co.ukhttps://www.instagram.com/the_food_psychologist/BOOKS: How to Talk to Children about Food by Dr Anna ColtonAnorexia and Other Eating Disorders: How to Help Your Child Eat Well and be Well by Eva MusbyGood Girl by Hadley FreemanEPISODES:Body image: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/body-image-and-chores-helping-teenagers-to-develop-a-positive-body-image-also-getting-your-teena/Healthy Eating:https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/screens-and-teens-heres-how-to-help-them-and-yourself-manage-your-time-also-can-we-talk-about-h/Bigorexia: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/feeding-your-teen-control-issues-and-bigorexia/Does my teen need to lose weight: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/diet-does-my-teen-need-to-lose-weight-how-to-navigate-diet-culture-with-elyse-resch/Eating Disorders: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/eating-disorders-an-interview-with-beat-representative-umairah-malik-what-we-parents-need-to-know/Support the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.comFind me on Substack: https://teenagersuntangled.substack.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk
Oct 1, 2025 • 58min
Stop pushing your kids: The science of success, resilience, and reduced stress.
Ask Rachel anythingIs your kid stressed or lacking motivation? What if the antidote was pushing them less and giving them more of a sense of control over their lives? It doesn't mean giving up your authority as a parent. As elite teen coach, Ned Johnson, explains the science tells us we can help our child sculpt a brain that is resilient, and ready to take on new challenges if we stop taking over.In his practice he uses science, behavioural therapy and extensive case studies to offer help kids who're struggling with stress, anxiety, or lack of motivation.His mantra is that as parents, we need to get out of our kids' way. We can only drive our kids so far. At some point, they will have to take control over their own path and our job is to help them develop the skills to do that. Introducing technology to teenagers: My Substack Big Hug GuideLearned Helplessness at Fifty: Insights from Neurosciencehttps://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4920136/Failure to Launch: Ken Rabow https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/failure-to-launch-what-we-can-learn-from-struggling-young-adults-about-how-to-help-our-teens/Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain by Dr. John Ratey.The Tech Exit book: https://www.sheldonpress.co.uk/titles/clare-morell/the-tech-exit/9781399828208/Never Enough book: https://www.jenniferbwallace.com/about-never-enough10-25: The Science of Motivating Young People: https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/motivation-how-to-motivate-your-teenager-and-why-blame-and-shame-doesnt-work/Intrinsic Motivation and Positive Development: Reed Larson https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23259190/Default Mode Network: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26168472/Ned on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theothernedjohnson/video/7005943445646855429?is_copy_url=1&is_from_webapp=v1&lang=enSupport the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:www.teenagersuntangled.comFind me on Substack: https://teenagersuntangled.substack.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk
