Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

This episode is about taking the pressure off of self-imposed timelines. Today's caller, Elizabeth, has a sense of urgency. She feels she needs to get into a relationship and have children. But, at the same time, she is experiencing rejection, ghosting, and men leaving. She thinks she is doing something wrong. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode318] For whatever reason, we put ridiculous timelines on ourselves. Who knows where they come from society, parents, or our inner critic. We also put unnecessary pressure on ourselves to be or to achieve certain things. And, all the while we're not really paying attention to what we truly need to be learning. We miss out on the magic that can come from being present and in the moment. And, enmeshment or co-dependence means that we are a little bit too reliant or dependent on another person to make us feel a certain way. We all want a mother to be the constant source of love and nurturing but we also want a mother to let us go on our way or let us suffer and find our own way. If we have someone who always rescues us, how do we ever learn to rescue ourselves? If you are a woman looking for a man and put pressure on yourself to be in a relationship, the holidays can be challenging. So, starting late November or early December, join Stefanos and me for our Be the Queen program. This upcoming event is the last event until next year. Go to ChristineHassler.com/BetheQueen for more information. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you unconsciously put pressure on yourself or others and it is sabotaging you from getting the things you truly want? Did you have too close of a relationship with your mother or a parent? Do you feel a timeline or sense of urgency to get married, have babies, or accomplish something at a certain time? Would you say that you were an exceptional partner to yourself? Elizabeth's Question: Elizabeth feels she is the reason her relationships don't work out. Elizabeth's Key Insights and Ahas: She feels she can't get relationships right. She feels she has been called to have children. She was very close to her mother, maybe too close. She is trying to source her love through other people to fill the void. She clings on to men. She misses being in a close relationship. She didn't develop her own sense of self. She is scared to voice her feelings in relationships. How to Get Over It and On With It: Prioritize loving herself and individuating. Find her wise inner mother and untangle her enmeshment with her mother. Look back at past relationships and consider how she could do things differently. Write a reassuring letter to her future self that everything is going to be alright and then have her future self write back. Realize it wasn't her fault that guys take off but she can take responsibility for her part in the relationship. Takeaways: Listen to the Coaches Corner interview with Bethany Webster, The Mother Wound. If you feel pressured to get somewhere, write a letter to your future self and then have your future self write back to you about how everything works out. If you are in a pattern, ask yourself what wound is it bringing attention to that could be healed. Join the Be the Queen program. Sponsor: THIRDLOVE — Delivers life-changing comfort for your body with high-quality underwear, sleep, and loungewear. They do comfort, so you can do you. Visit the Fitting Room and take the quiz at Thirdlove.com/overit to find your perfect bra size and style. They have over 80 bra sizes, including half-cup sizes, and great-fitting, comfy loungewear! Use the link to get 20% off the first purchase of your new favorite Seamless wireless bra or loungewear. They have a 100% fit guarantee. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Sex and sexuality. These are part of the human experience. Yet for so many, sex and sexualty brings up shame, insecurity and even painful memories. It is possible to enjoy your sexual expression no matter what you have been through while empowering yourself by learning about your preferences and consent. There is no one better to discuss these topics with me than. Dr. Betty Martin. She has had her hands on people professionally for over 40 years, first as a Chiropractor and upon retiring from that practice, as a certified Surrogate Partner, Sacred Intimate, and Somatic Sex Educator. Her explorations in somatic-based therapy and practices informed her creation of the framework, The Wheel of Consent®. As part of her work with the School of Consent, Betty travels around the world teaching practitioners how to create empowered agreements in their client sessions, in her highly sought-after training "Like A Pro: The Wheel of Consent for Practitioners." Wheel of consent videos: short: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7x2jAm3HxHM long; https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=auokDp_EA80

This episode is about doing inner child work to heal the mother wound. Today's caller, Abigail, feels she is struggling to connect with her feminine energy but we discover that she is being triggered by her circumstances and it is revealing a coping strategy she relied on in her childhood. We discuss ways she can make the most of this healing opportunity. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode317] You can't really tap into true masculine and feminine until you do inner child work. Because we can confuse being in our feminine or masculine energy with protective behaviors and coping strategies. It is important for us to find our divine mother and father energy but healing our childhood wounds is the starting point. When past trauma in her child wounding is triggered, it is an invitation for us to deal with it by speaking to our little one and giving them a voice. It makes it much easier to trust because our inner child isn't tugging at us telling us they are not okay. What keeps some people from doing inner child work is that they think they have to relive their trauma or relive memories of their childhoods. It is possible to heal your childhood and connect with your inner child even if you have no memories or traumatic memories. When we are given pauses in life, or when we feel we are in limbo, they are opportunities for us to focus on our inner work. Join us for our LIVE Inner Child Workshop on October 8–10th. It will be the last live inner child workshop taught by Christine and Stefanos for a while. Get live coaching or attend the workshop online ChristineHassler.com/InnerChild. If you can't make it live you can get the recording. If you need help financially go to ChristineHassler.com/Scholarship. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you struggling with identifying what is masculine and feminine energy? Or, you are not sure how to be in your masculine or feminine? Have you worked on the mother wound and know intuitively there is still more to do? Do you identify with being a caretaker? Someone who takes care of other people's needs as a way to try and get your own needs met? As a child, were you more in the parent role than you were in the child role? Did a parent count on you for emotional support? Did they confide in you? Were you more of a friend to them and not allowed to truly be a kid? Abigail's Question: Abigail struggles with staying in her feminine energy. Abigail's Key Insights and Ahas: She has had a lot of uncertainty in her life. She has difficulty adjusting and trusting changes. She holds fear about changes in her life. She frequently changes her residence. She left her nursing career to be a doula. Her parents dealt with uncertainty differently. She didn't have a good role model for embracing uncertainty. She didn't feel safe as a child. Caretaking became a coping strategy for her. She beats herself up emotionally. She felt responsible for everyone else's happiness. She wants to be free to express her needs. Her mom treated her like a friend and not a child. She feels worthless if she isn't caring for others. Her partner feels safe to her. How to Get Over It and On With It: Check-in with little Abigail to see how she is. Accept and have compassion for herself. Give her rage a voice and write an F-U letter to her mother. This is a healing opportunity for her. She is exactly where she needs to be. Join the Inner Child Workshop. Check out the Mother Wound Coaches Corner and the work of Bethany Webster. Takeaways: Use the pauses in your life to give your inner child a voice and to heal unhealed wounding. Sponsor: SOUL CBD — is a daily supplement to calm the nervous system and re-calibrate homeostasis. Soul CBD gummies, liquids, oils, topicals, and bath bombs are all 3rd-party-tested for toxins. Bring balance into your life and get 15% off AND free shipping in the U.S. at MySoulCBD.com/OVERIT. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Don't miss this episode with Bethany Webster where we discuss a wound we ALL have: the mother wound. Bethany Webster is a writer, international speaker and transformational coach. She started blogging in 2013 about the Mother Wound and quickly experienced worldwide demand for her work. Through blending research on intergenerational trauma, feminist theory, and psychology with her own personal story, Bethany's work is the result of decades of research and her own journey of healing. Bethany speaks, consults and mentors around the world sharing her growing body of work that is raising the standard of women's leadership and personal development. Learn more at www.bethanywebster.com Bethany's book: https://www.indiebound.org/book/9780062884442 Bethany's online course: https://www.bethanywebster.com/inner-mother-course/ Bethany's Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/innermother

This episode is about finding your passion by releasing repressed anger. Today's caller, Illarion, feels lost. He is in his twenties and is struggling to find his purpose. Emotions from his childhood are bubbling to the surface of his unconscious. If you relate to this call and feel blocked, anxious, or lost, this episode will help you tap into your fire and find your voice. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode316] So many of us that may be dealing with anxiety, depression, or feeling lost have a bit of indifference, hopelessness, and apathy we can slip into. That is a dangerous place because there is numbness. Whereas anger, if understood and expressed in a healthy way, is a very useful emotion. Anger is often the gateway to reaching our deeper hurts and it's the thing that unleashes our passion. Repressed anger takes up a lot of energy. It is a fiery emotion that just sits inside of us. Passion is fire too. If we have a lot of anger that we haven't processed, it can be a block to our creativity and passion. A lot of creative and artistic people have trouble accessing their anger. It ends up manifesting as anxiety. When we have the creative archetype, there is also gentleness. We want to be the peacekeeper and avoid conflict. We don't feel the warrior spirit because we are more on the creative side. However, when we don't access our anger and our rage, it can hold our passion back. It is often anger and resentment that keep us from getting to the true energy of forgiveness. Join us for our LIVE Inner Child Workshop on October 8–10th. It will be the last live inner child workshop taught by Christine and Stefanos for a while. Get live coaching or attend the workshop online ChristineHassler.com/InnerChild. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you feel stuck or lost in your life? Did you have parents that supported who you are but not 100% of the time? Have you analyzed and talked about your issues and have been in therapy but things are not changing? Is anger something that turns you off? Illarion's Question: Illarion feels lost and is struggling to find his purpose. He goes through bouts of loneliness, anxiety, and low self-worth. Illarion's Key Insights and Ahas: He moved to New York City. He is going through imposter syndrome. He doubts every choice he makes. His feelings go up and down. He may have unresolved issues from childhood. He has been in therapy for three years. He looks at what he should be instead of what he is meant to be. He didn't feel he was able to be himself as a child. What he is going through is normal for his age. He is not sure he is lovable and enough for his parents. He doesn't speak with his father. He hasn't dealt with the anger he feels at his parents. He seeks approval from other people. He wanted someone to stick up for him as a child. How to Get Over It and On With It: Tap into his anger and be pissed. Do the temper-tantrum technique at ChristineHassler.com/angerrelease Write an F-U letter to his mom and dad without sending it to them. Go to a quiet place and expel rage while he punches a pillow. Find his fiery passion. Sponsor: SOUL CBD — is a daily supplement to calm the nervous system and re-calibrate homeostasis. Soul CBD gummies, liquids, oils, topicals, and bath bombs are all 3rd-party-tested for toxins. Bring balance into your life and get 15% off AND free shipping in the U.S. at MySoulCBD.com/OVERIT Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This is an episode NOT to miss. My husband and I get so raw and vulnerable as we talk through something that upset Stef and triggered his inner child. If you want an intimate look at how we work though triggers and comfort our own (and each other's) inner child, be sure to listen. You will learn so much about your relationship with your own inner child as well. We all have a tender, sensitive little one inside who needs us to parent them with love, safety, acceptance and consistency. If you want to learn more about the virtual retreat we are teaching on healing your inner child, please go here: https://christinehassler.com/innerchild/

This episode is about taking a stand for what we value. Today's caller, Sebastian, is not getting his needs met in his relationship. He is attempting to talk through his issues, but the results are not changing. We discuss ways to get clarification from his partner about what she needs and how he can have his needs met by taking a stand for his values. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode315] If communication solved every issue in a relationship, we could all just read communication books and have the most amazing relationships, friendships, and parental relationships. Everything would be easy. But, it is not. We need to do the inner work. We play out our childhood stuff in our adult life, especially in relationships. When a child has emotionally unavailable parents, they learn to tolerate a lot more hurt. When they grow into adults, they may have a pattern of thinking things are better than they truly are in their intimate relationships. In relationships, friendships, or any kind of intimate relationship, we often love and give in the way we want to be given to and loved, not necessarily the way that person needs or wants it. We have to be bold when it comes to things like love, our families, our health, our well-being, and what is important to us. We must take a stand for our values. Join us for our LIVE Inner Child Workshop on October 8–10th. It will be the last live inner child workshop taught by Christine and Stefanos for a while. Get live coaching or attend the workshop online ChristineHassler.com/InnerChild. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you find yourself not being a firm stand for what you want in your life? Do you ever tiptoe around people afraid of upsetting them? Do you often feel disrespected in conversations or just not heard? Do you have some codependent patterns and let people walk all over you? Do you often find yourself with emotionally unavailable or avoidant-type people? Sebastian's Question: Sebastian feels he doesn't get his needs met in his relationship and would like guidance on how to have a healthier relationship. Sebastian's Key Insights and Ahas: His relationship has ups and downs. Hurtful things are said between him and his partner. He and his partner have done couple counseling. He has a 10-year-old son with his partner. He feels disrespected by his partner. He loves his family. His partner finds it is overwhelming to deal with his emotions. He is trying to uncover and overcome the relationship issues. He is codependent. How to Get Over It and On With It: Get curious about what his partner needs. Have a conversation about what each other needs emotionally. Stand in his strong, healthy masculine and ask his partner if she wants the relationship to work. Step into his power and take a stand for himself and the relationship. Takeaways: Take a stand for your values. Be very clear about what you want and where you are going. Sponsor: SOUL CBD — is a daily supplement to calm the nervous system and re-calibrate homeostasis. Soul CBD gummies, liquids, oils, topicals, and bath bombs are all 3rd-party-tested for toxins. Bring balance into your life and get 15% off AND free shipping in the U.S. at MySoulCBD.com/OVERIT Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

If you ever struggle with anxiety, worry or even depression, do NOT miss this episode. One of the leading voices in personal development and transformation and an international bestselling author Mel Robbins joins Christine and gives a TON of soothing and practical advice for creating more calm in your life. Mel's work includes the global phenomenon The 5 Second Rule, the upcoming The High 5 Habit, four #1 bestselling audiobooks, the #1 podcast on Audible, as well as signature online courses that have changed the lives of more than half a million students worldwide. Her groundbreaking work on behavior change has been translated into 36 languages and is used by healthcare professionals, veterans' organizations, and the world's leading brands to inspire people to be more confident, effective, and fulfilled. As one of the most widely booked and followed public speakers in the world, Mel coaches more than 60 million people online every month and videos featuring her work have more than a billion views online, including her TEDx talk, which is one of the most popular of all time. There's nothing Mel loves more than making a real difference in people's lives by teaching them to believe in themselves and inspiring them to take the actions that will change their lives. Mel lives in New England with her husband of 25 years and their three kids, but she is and will always be a Midwesterner at heart.

This episode will support you in getting through and to the other side of any kind of loss. Today's caller, Regina, is a widow who is grieving over the loss of her husband. She says she regrets not being the best mother in the world and not living the life she wanted to live. She is questioning her purpose and experiencing quite a bit of apathy in her life. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode314] Loss is an incredibly painful but inevitable part of our life. When it happens it is important we give ourselves time to grieve and not try to be strong and move on right away. But there comes a point in our life when life has to go on. Whether it is the death of a loved one, a pet, a relationship, or a job, we can't allow loss to suck the life out of us. Otherwise, we end up existing, not truly living. We honor those who transition by continuing to live. People who deal with expectation hangovers often feel guilty to admit it but they tend to be apathetic to life. The reason for the apathy is the opposite of love is not hate. It is indifference or apathy. When we go through something challenging, especially if we are lonely through it, we allow our self-love tank to get so low that we slip into indifference. Without love there is apathy. Getting out of it requires choosing to live, not just to go through the motions; we need something we want to live for. Give yourself permission to live for and find something that reconnects you back to love. Consider/Ask Yourself: Have you recently been through a loss and can't seem to move on? Have you been through a loss and are aware you need time to grieve? Do you tend to look back on your life and wish you could have done things differently? Are you at a point in your life where you are just existing and need to start living again? Regina's Question: Regina would like to move past her sadness and regret of not living the life she wanted. Regina's Key Insights and Ahas: She is approaching retirement. She is not in the place she thought she would be in her life. She lives alone. There is a part of her that doesn't want to be anymore. She has regrets about how she raised her children. She doesn't believe we get more than one love in our lives. Her husband was her best friend. She beats herself up a lot. She knows if she can create a negative story for herself, she is capable of creating a positive story, too. How to Get Over It and On With It: Choose to create a future that is enlivening. Give herself permission to live and allow love in. Have a loving relationship with herself. Speak to herself as a loving mother would to a child. Forgive herself for being mean to herself. Write out some promises to herself. Takeaways: Practice self-love. Consider that loved ones who have transitioned are angels and guides in your life. Accept that you did the best you could with the tools you had at the time. Content that focuses on overcoming regret. Sponsor: THIRDLOVE — Delivers life-changing comfort for your body with high-quality underwear, sleep, and loungewear. Check out their new seamless Form line. Visit the Fitting Room and take the quiz at Thirdlove.com/overit to find your perfect bra size and style. They have over 80 bra sizes, including half-cup sizes, and great-fitting, comfy loungewear! Use the link to get 20% off the first purchase of your new favorite Seamless wireless bra or loungewear. They have a 100% fit guarantee. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Gay Hendricks has been a leader in the fields of relationship transformation and body mind transformation for more than 45 years. After earning his Ph.D. fromStanford in 1974, Gay served as Professor of Counseling Psychology at the University of Colorado for 21 years. He has written more than 40 books, including bestsellers such as Five Wishes, The Big Leap, Conscious Loving and Conscious Loving Ever After, (the last two co-authored with his co-author and mate for more than 35 years, Dr. Kathlyn Hendricks). He is also a mystery novelist, with a series of five books featuring the Tibetan-Buddhist private detective, Tenzing Norbu, as well as a new mystery series featuring a Victorian-era London detective, Sir ErrolHyde. His latest book, Conscious Luck, reveals eight ways to change your fortune through the power of intention. Gay has appeared on more than 500 radio andtelevision shows, including Oprah, CNN, CNBC, 48 HOURS and others. His new book, The Genius Zone, was published in June, 2021.