Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

This episode is about opening ourselves up to opportunity by courageously embracing change. Today's caller, Marilyn, just turned 50 and feels lost in life and with no clear direction for her future. She has been playing it safe and fears making changes in her life. We discuss how she can listen to her intuition to be open to the opportunities that may come from shaking up her life. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode323] Many of us have put up a wall to protect ourselves and as long as we are more invested in protecting ourselves from getting hurt, we are not going to be open to living into our full potential and achieving our heart's desire. Because that protective wall keeps us from being hurt and blocks out the amazing possibilities that can come from having an open heart. And, often, the older we get, the harder it can be to make changes in our lives. Because we become comfortable and complacent. Some people are happy with complacency. They are content in a rinse-and-repeat life, comfort zones, and doing the same things. It is totally fine that they find meaning in other things. But we grow when we put ourselves through challenges and in new situations. So, no matter what your age, instead of settling and giving up on new experiences, make some changes. Are you a woman looking to call in your beloved? Do you put pressure on yourself to be in a relationship? To start your journey, on November 30th, Stefanos and I will facilitate our last Be the Queen program for a while. Go to ChristineHassler.com/BetheQueen to apply. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you more comfortable playing it safe even if it means you don't love your life? Do you consider yourself risk-averse unless you weigh all the options and it seems like a smart thing to do? Do you feel disconnected from the way you were as a child? Maybe you were brave, creative, or outgoing as a child and as you've gotten older you've wondered where that person went? When you think about making a change do you focus too much on all things that could go wrong versus what could go right? Marilyn's Question: Marilyn feels lost and doesn't have a clear path of what she wants for her future. Marilyn's Key Insights and Ahas: She is single and finds it easy to be alone. She thought she would meet someone more quickly. She feels lost and has a wall up. She is conservative in her actions to protect herself. She has done the inner child workshop. She has been with the same company for 20 years. She is considering relocating and finding a new position. She was a brave child. She is focusing on what could go wrong instead of opportunity. How to Get Over It and On With It: Make a change. Shake her life up a little bit. Tap into her warrior woman. Consider what could be great about making a change. Do the empty chair process with her inner child. Takeaways: Choose change or let life bring change to you. Take some risks. Start paying attention to things that could go right instead of what could go wrong. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

A friend and former yoga buddy of mine, Todd McCullough, joins me to dispel some myths about what it takes to transform your body and live healthy! He's a fitness and mindset expert and takes us through a wonderful meditation at the end of the interview. Todd attended University of Florida, where he was a starting football player. Like many athletes, he suffered numerous injuries. He had a career in finance at Merrill Lynch, and was laid off during the financial crisis of 2008. Todd knew it was time for a new direction. His football injuries led him to a yoga studio, where he discovered a way to move with his physical restrictions. This led Todd to merge his new passion for yoga with athletic training — and TMAC FITNESS was born. It began as a personal training business, where Todd trained thousands of clients, including Olympic athletes and celebrity artists. Eventually, it was time to scale. Now, TMAC FITNESS is an online membership-based company that provides short, fast, and effective workouts — with a strong emphasis on mindfulness. Todd's signature online program, TMAC 20, has helped more than 20,000 people get in shape and get their mind right from home. Learn more here: https://www.tmacfitness.com/

This episode is about realizing control is just a protective behavior. Today's caller, Beck, wants to feel safe and worthy of love without feeling the need to calculate and devise a plan to control the outcome of a situation. We work through ways she can express her emotions and voice her truth to meet her needs. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode322] We all have, at some level, an addiction to control. We have different relationships with it and it is hard for us to completely be in uncertainty, non-attachment, and surrender. The more personal development work we do, the more we are able to step into those things but it is naturally human to have those kinds of controlling pieces come up. Often, what we consider as controlling is a part of us that doesn't feel safe. And, that part is trying to protect us. I also believe semantics and words are very important. No one wants to be called controlling. It is hard to get leverage and to do the work we need to do on ourselves when we use a word that has a lot of judgment on top of it. Instead of thinking of your behaviors as controlling, think of them as protective behaviors. It feels better and makes it easier to understand, accept, and shift them. Are you a woman looking to call in a man? Do you put pressure on yourself to be in a relationship? To start your journey, join our free live call on November 11th, and then on November 30th Stefanos and I will facilitate our last Be the Queen program for a while. Go to ChristineHassler.com/BetheQueen to apply. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you find yourself fighting for control or manipulating situations to make yourself feel safe? Are you someone who holds your thoughts and emotions in for a long time? How are you asking for what you need? Think about your childhood and the times you got in trouble, or the times you were told you were naughty, or when you did something wrong, did you collapse the "I did something wrong" to mean "I am wrong"? Do you have an old childhood belief that because you did something bad or wrong it means you were wrong or unlovable? Beck's Question: Beck wants to explore her relationship with control and guidance on how to work through it to support herself in her relationship. Beck's Key Insights and Ahas: She's been doing inner work. She fears being perceived as a controlling person. She manipulates situations to get what she wants. She experiences expectation hangovers. She controls things to protect herself. Her parents loved her, but it felt conditional when she did something wrong. She is afraid of losing love. She is sensitive and has big feelings. As a child, she couldn't separate her actions being wrong from her being wrong. She creates distance in her partnership when she doesn't show her true emotion. She doesn't always know what she needs. Her partner struggles to handle her emotions. She tests people to see if they love her. She outsources getting her needs met. How to Get Over It and On With It: Communicate her truth when she feels it. Ask for what she needs, consistently. Know she can make mistakes and still be worthy of love. Sprinkle the release of her emotions out when they arise, not to let the floodgates open after keeping them inside. Takeaways: Realize that you can make mistakes and still be worthy of love. Look at where you are not speaking your truth. Emotions are better let out than kept in. Sponsor: THIRDLOVE — Delivers life-changing comfort for your body with high-quality underwear, sleep, and loungewear. Thirdlove obsesses over every stitch. Visit the Fitting Room and take the quiz at Thirdlove.com/overit to find your perfect bra size and style. They have over 80 bra sizes, including half-cup sizes, and great-fitting, comfy loungewear! Use the link to get 20% off the first purchase of your new favorite Seamless wireless bra or loungewear. They have a 100% fit guarantee. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This is such a rich conversation about relationships, sex and sexuality, monogamy and love. Alexandra H. Solomon, PhD, is a clinical assistant professor in theDepartment of Psychology at Northwestern University, a licensed clinical psychologist at The Family Institute at Northwestern University, and the author of Taking Sexy Back: How to Own YourSexuality and Create the Relationships You Want (February 2, 2020; NewHarbinger) and Loving Bravely: 20 Lessons of Self-Discovery to Help You Get the LoveYou Want (2017; New Harbinger), which was featured on the TODAY show. She is an international speaker and teacher whose work has been featured on six continents. She is also a strong,positive resource on Instagram, where she has earned more than 160K followers to date. Her website: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/

This episode is about mothering the inner child and connecting to the little one inside. Today's caller, Nyikia, is working to give herself the love and compassion she didn't get as a child but is having difficulty connecting with her inner child. We work through that connection and a daily practice she can use to nurture herself and her little one. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode321] We are often good at giving others what we need to give ourselves the most. This is where we can fall into traps in relationships. Whether it's romantic relationships, work relationships, or friendships, we can be loving, compassionate, loyal, and show up for others but the person we need to do that for is our inner child and ourselves. We can't go back in a time machine and change our parents or live a different childhood. But, remember, the mind doesn't know the difference between a well-imagined thought and current reality. So, we can give ourselves the childhood we never had by being a mother or father to our inner child. Join Us for a Special Master Class, "Calling Him In Masterclass". Learn How to Attract a Man Who Is Your True Match So You Can Experience the Epic Soul Mate Love You Desire Nov. 4th at 5:00 PM PST. Sign up here: https://christinehassler.com/lovemasterclass. Consider/Ask Yourself: Did you have a mother or father who didn't fall into the traditional role? Maybe, your mom wasn't nurturing or your father was absent or not protective and you have a hard time connecting with that inner parent? Are you good at loving others and taking care of others but not so great at taking care of yourself? Have you done a lot of self-work in the last several years or months, but feel in some areas, especially with the inner child, you don't know what to do or you are not making progress? Nyikia's Question: Nyikia is looking to heal and move past childhood issues but is finding it difficult to connect to her inner child. Nyikia's Key Insights and Ahas: She grew up with only her mother as a caregiver. Her mother was emotionally and verbally abusive. Her father was absent, for the most part. She has an adopted brother. She is doing personal development work to connect with her inner child. She has avoidant strategies and distracts herself. She wants to acknowledge her inner child. She longed for feeling safe when she was a child. Her IQ has been rewarded more than her EQ. She often shuts down her emotional releases. It is easy for her to find compassion for others but not for herself. Her inner child doesn't feel worthy of nurturing. How to Get Over It and On With It: Check-in with a picture of her as a child once a day. Tell her inner child how worthy she is of nurturing and love. Takeaways: Check-in daily with your inner child and have a conversation. Re-visit the recording of the Inner Child Workshop at ChristineHassler.com/innerchild. Consider what you didn't get as a child and how you can give it to yourself. Sponsor: STORYWORTH — is an online service that helps your family share stories through thought-provoking questions about their memories and personal thoughts. Storyworth has helped numerous families learn about each other in profound and special ways. After a year, Storyworth compiles stories and pictures in a keepsake book that ships for free. Give the important people in your life a meaningful gift Storyworth.com/overit and get $10 off your first purchase. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

I am so thrilled to have one of my best - and also most powerful - friends back on the show. Kate Reardon gives those in need of healing guidance the inspiration and tools for growth so they can achieve the unthinkable and conquer the impossible. Kate is a qualified practitioner of Naturopathy and Nutritional Medicine, an Intuitive Metaphysical Healer, best-selling author, keynote speaker, facilitator, yoga teacher, devoted mother and host of the ever-popular, Lean In podcast. Kate is the co-founder and managing director of Natural Instinct Healing, the internationally acclaimed and award-winning private Detox, Health and Wellness retreat centre in Bali - which now offers virtual cleansing retreats! Kate also mentors clients from all walks of life across the globe, including high profile celebrities, public figures, doctors, psychologists, business leaders and even royalty, treating and guiding each individual on a mind, body and soul level. Her best-selling book, "The Essential Cleanse" is the ultimate guide to unlocking the potential to drastically heal from the inside out. When she's not in the consulting room or preparing for a workshop, Kate can be found either being Mama bear to three beautiful girls, immersed in nature, soaking up a book or dancing her heart out! Register for her 7 day immersion here: https://go.naturalinstincthealing.com/free-vital-wellbeing-immersion Learn more about Kate here: http://katereardon.com.au/

This episode is about obsessive thinking and anxiety. Today's caller, Megan, wants to know why she obsesses over things such as decisions, relationships, and her body image. She would like guidance on how to shift her patterns but feels she may always have anxiety. We dial back the clock to discover why she adopted it as a coping strategy and work through how she can empower herself so her anxiety can be an alarm instead of a constraint. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode320] One of the best things the mind does to deal with anxiety in the body is to obsess because it is a distraction and keeps us from feeling the physiological discomfort in the body. Anxiety is energy that is fast buzzing energy. This frenetic energy is in our minds and our nervous systems. It can be really overwhelming so we develop ways to do something with it or to turn it into something. When we obsess over things and think about things over and over and over again, it's the way the mind is trying to deal with all that frenetic energy. Obsessive thinking is a coping strategy. If we look at those patterns as alarm systems, have compassion for ourselves, and understand there is nothing wrong with us, it is easier to shift patterns like anxiety and obsessive thinking that are not serving us. The hardest things to change about ourselves are the things that are protecting us. The patterns cling to us because they believe they are helping us like they had in our childhood. If you are a woman looking for a man and put pressure on yourself to be in a relationship, the holidays can be challenging. In late November, join Stefanos and me for our Be the Queen program. This upcoming event is the last live event until at least next year. Go to ChristineHassler.com/BetheQueen for more information. Sign up early and get access to the Bonus Call on 11/11/21. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are there things in your life you obsess about or just can't stop thinking about? Do you obsess about your body, what people are thinking about you, or your dating experiences? Did you grow up with an anxious parent? Do you doubt your self-worth? Do you fear you will never be able to change the patterns you don't like or judge yourself over? Megan's Question: Megan has a pattern of obsessing over things in her life and would like guidance on how to shift her obsessive thinking and to become more empowered. Megan's Key Insights and Ahas: She obsesses over body image issues, men, and romantic relationships. She feels her anxiety is robbing her sense of inner peace. She has done personal development work. She believes she has always had anxiety. Her mother was hard to predict and inconsistent. She gets frustrated trying to shift her patterns. She fears she will always have anxiety. She doesn't speak up for herself or set self-honoring boundaries. How to Get Over It and On With It: Be compassionate and make friends with her obsessions. Make a list of the things she is certain of and has control over in her life. Surrender and accept that her anxiety is trying to protect her from getting hurt. Focus on meeting her needs and speaking her truth by empowering herself. Listen to the Coaches Corner How to Navigate, Resolve, and Prevent Conflict with Jayson Gaddis. Takeaways: When you feel anxiety, consider the highest purpose of your obsessiveness. How is it serving you? Do not put a label on yourself. Empower yourself to react to things differently. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

My guest today talks to us about what attention really is, how to focus it (and stop a wandering mind), and leverage our minds to not only bring us success, but peace. Dr. Amishi Jha is a professor of psychology at the University of Miami. She serves as the Director of Contemplative Neuroscience for the Mindfulness Research and Practice Initiative, which she co-founded in 2010. She received her Ph.D. from the University of California–Davis and postdoctoral training at the Brain Imaging and Analysis Center at Duke University. Dr. Jha's work has been featured at NATO, the World Economic Forum, and The Pentagon. She has received coverage in The New York Times, NPR, TIME, Forbes and more. She is the author of the new book Peak Mind which we talk about in this episode.

This episode is about overcoming not-enoughness and meeting our own needs to be secure in relationships. Today's caller, Boston, has a protective pattern from his childhood that shows up as jealousy. It is blocking him from feeling secure in his relationship. He is working to shift his jealous feelings and is asking for guidance to understand the origin of his feelings and heal his anxious attachment style. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode319] We are human. We are going to have patterns and we are going to have programming. There will be feelings that come up. There may be anxiety, OCD, insecurities, jealousy, co-dependence, people-pleasing, etc. It is not who you are. I say it again, it is not who you are. Just because you have jealousy doesn't mean you are a jealous person. Just because a pattern comes up for you, jealousy, or anything else you want to shift, it doesn't mean you are that pattern. It is so important that whenever we are working to shift something, we accept it. The more we judge and shame ourselves, the more it sticks and the harder it is to change. So, if you are trying hard to change things about yourself, do not make yourself miserable. Being aware and accepting your patterns is the path forward. Often, we make things more complicated than they need to be. Our primary desire is to feel safe, seen, heard, and loved. The more we get it from within ourselves the more we get it from others. The more we can acknowledge the tender parts inside of us the less we need external validation. If you are a woman looking for a man and put pressure on yourself to be in a relationship, the holidays can be challenging. So, starting late November or early December, join Stefanos and me for our Be the Queen program. This upcoming event is the last event until next year. Go to ChristineHassler.com/BetheQueen for more information. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you struggle with jealousy in your relationship even if there is no reason for it? Do you judge yourself for getting jealous? Did you grow up feeling like you fit into society, your family, or your peer group? Did you look or feel different, like you were not good enough? How are you at meeting your own needs? Boston's Question: Boston has a pattern of exhibiting jealousy in his relationships. He would like guidance on how to heal his triggers. Boston's Key Insights and Ahas: He recently started his personal development journey. He puts his jealous behavior on to his partner. He judges himself for his jealous tendencies. He is mentally working through his patterns to interrupt them. He has an anxious attachment style. He is looking for reassurance in his relationship. He grew up in an area where people were discriminatory. He had very little emotional connection with his parents. His parents argued a lot in his childhood. He didn't feel good enough as a child. He was jealous of other families and the love he thought they shared. He moved to a new country at a very young age. He developed tough skin to protect himself. His partner is patient and understanding. He has old hurts and insecurity. His fear of losing his family is preventing him from enjoying it. How to Get Over It and On With It: Understand his jealousy is trying to protect him. Be compassionate with himself when he is triggered. Remind himself he is enough. Talk to his younger self about what he needs and reassure himself. Ask his partner to work with him on his inner child work. Embrace and enjoy the life he has created. Takeaways: For a refresher on healing your inner child, listen to the Inner Child Workshop. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

If you avoid or dread conflict or find you have too much of it in your life, you will find this episode so helpful! Jayson Gaddis is here to talk about his new book Getting To Zero: How to Work through Conflicts in your High-Stake Relationships and teach us SO much about how to have healthier relationships. He is a relationship expert and sought-after coach, as well as the Founder of The Relationship School and host of the successful Relationship School podcast. Jayson leads the most comprehensive relationship training in the world of intimate relationships and partnership, as well as trains and certifies relationship coaches. He has a master's in psychology and lives with his wife and two children in Boulder, Colorado. Get the book and free goodies here: https://www.gettingtozerobook.com/