Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

Let's talk about sex and shame and desire and pleasure! Emily Morse joins me to dive into why our sex life is so important and how to up our Sex IQ. Emily is the host of Sex with Emily, the #1 podcast on sex and relationships. She received a Doctorate in Human Sexuality from the Institutefor the Advancement of Human Sexuality. She is a regular guest on The Today Show and The Doctors and a go-tosource on sexuality for Cosmopolitan, Bustle, and Harper'sBazaar. She has been profiled in The New York Times, Forbes,and Men's Health. You can learn more here: https://sexwithemily.com/

This call is about deciding whether or not to rekindle a relationship after experiencing infidelity or betrayal. Today's call was originally intended to be a couples session with Jade and Matthew. But, Jade has decided to exclude Matthew from the call. She describes why she made the decision. Some people can work through infidelity and have it strengthen their relationship. Other people need a clean break. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode409] What can happen when we are working through trust issues and articulating our needs is that when we get to a point where we are triggered, we throw up a barrier rather than a boundary. When we are a person who hasn't been great at boundaries in life, what can happen when we're pushed to an edge is we can just throw up a wall. Anytime we cheat, there's a part of us that's scared of intimacy with the person that we're with. There are a lot of other reasons but it's like we're afraid to go deep with the person we're with. There can be a pattern of not being able to be fully intimate and fully vulnerable in relationships. Most things that happen to us that aren't necessarily what we want to happen are on some level due to our soul calling in a situation to help us heal something that isn't optimal inside of us. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you often not hold boundaries to the extent of when you're pushed to an edge a wall and barrier comes up? Have you tried to forgive someone and tried to heal through relationships but you just keep getting hurt? Do you have a hard time trusting? Do you beat yourself up when you've been hurt because you think you should have seen it coming? Jade's Key Insights and Ahas: She found it difficult to trust Matthew as he traveled. She felt like he was hiding information from her. She has decided that she can't be in the relationship any longer. She felt energetically that things were off. She wants a healthy relationship in the future. She has questioned her truth when it comes to Matthew. She needs transparency in her relationships. She has a pattern of not being fully vulnerable and intimate in relationships. She thought she would feel enough if someone changed for her. She felt this relationship will help her heal from her previous relationship. She wishes her mom was emotionally supportive and less reactive. How to Get Over It and On With It: Examine her trust issues and why she continues to be in relationships with people she doesn't trust. Forgive Matthew without continuing the relationship with him. Create emotional safety for herself. Don't waste her time thinking she "should" have known sooner. Trust herself and give herself time to grieve without beating herself up. Get clear about her boundaries in a relationship and write them out. Sponsor: Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a naturally slick ceramic surface. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the limited-time offer of 10% off on their full suite of products by using the promo code OVERIT at checkout. Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Anger. We all feel it at some point or another. It's a natural human emotion and expression. However the way we deal with our anger often is very unnatural. We suppress it, numb it, try to escape it or let it consume us so much so that it can make us sick and/or ruin our relationships. In this episode I talk about how to release anger in a healthy way and walk you through the process of writing an f*** you letter.

This call is about deciding whether or not to rekindle a relationship after experiencing infidelity or betrayal. Today's caller, Matthew, has childhood trauma that is affecting his adult behaviors. He wants to continue his relationship with Jade but struggles with self-worth and trust. This is the second of three conversations. In next week's call, Christine speaks with Matthew and Jade during the couple's session. Listen to Part One with Jade. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode408] Most of the time people don't act out intentionally to hurt other people, they're acting out because they're asking for help, even if it doesn't seem like it. When we have chronic trauma it is very hard for us to be aware of how it is affecting our behavior. When we look at behavior, especially something like unfaithfulness or cheating, if we just look at the behavior we can get angry. Angry at ourselves and angry at the person. We may call it unforgivable, and maybe it is. But when we look at what is underneath the behavior, what's really driving the behavior, it can give us a different perspective and move us into compassion and ultimately forgiveness. Compassion and forgiveness offer hope that a relationship can be healed. My upcoming Signature Retreat is for women who are ready to let go of their limiting beliefs. For a nurturing self-care experience join like-minded women from October 13‒15 in San Diego, CA. To apply go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat. Apply by July 10th to get the early bird discount. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you struggle with self-worth issues? Have you ever been unfaithful or have you been in a relationship where someone has betrayed you, lied to you, or been unfaithful to you? Did you grow up in a home where there was abuse and chaos and you never really felt worthy or loved or safe? Are you on a personal discovery journey and you're clear that you're changing things but the people around you may not believe you and that can be frustrating? Matthew's Question: Matthew struggles with self-worth and trust issues. He would like guidance on how to find internal validation and create a safe space for Jade. Matthew's Key Insights and Ahas: He lied, manipulated, and cheated during the relationship but, that's not who he wants to be. He feels Jade is having trouble trusting him again. He has trouble trusting Jade. He wants to heal his past traumas. He wants to feel loved, cared for, trusted, and secure in his relationship. He feels his needs can be met. He is on a self-discovery journey. He has always felt he was insignificant and had to fight for love. He has witnessed infidelity and abuse in his life. He is working on forgiving himself. He seeks external validation, mostly from women. He is seeking out ways to bring joy into his life. He is becoming aware of the energy he shares with women. He has an anxious attachment style in his relationships. He is in awe of who Jade is and sees potential in their relationship. He loves Jade but he feels he is under attack. How to Get Over It and On With It: Find ways to feel expressed, worthy, and validated. Discover what being a man means to him. Talk to an outside resource about his childhood wounding. Breathe deeply to calm himself when he feels defensive. Have compassion for himself and the things he feels shame about. Assignment: Write out the agreements he needs to make in the new version of this relationship. Write down the needs he would like to have met in a relationship. Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Dr. Will Cole, health advisor to Gwyneth Paltrow, top functional medicine practitioner, and New York Times bestselling author has dedicated his career to teaching people to apply skepticism to nutritional trends and instead, pay closer attention to their own intuition. His new book, GUT FEELINGS, demystifies the gut-brain connection and provides a framework to repair the relationship between what you eat and how you feel. After over a decade as a functional medicine expert, Dr. Cole discerned that shame can cause gut inflammation and sabotage wellness through what he's named "Shameflammation." When you send signals to your brain that you are overwhelmed, overworked, or overtired, your body reacts. Shameflammation can be the cause of chronic health conditions such as autoimmune disorders, depression, IBS, and more.

This call is about deciding whether or not to rekindle a relationship after experiencing infidelity or betrayal. Today's caller, Jade, has recently been brought back together with someone she loves but whom she left because he betrayed her. This session is the first of three conversations. In next week's call, Christine speaks with Jade's partner. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode407] When we are betrayed and we are cheated on, of course, we feel anger and hurt, it was an awful thing to have happened, and we get to be mad and angry at the other person. But if we hold on to those things for too long then we're the ones who continue to hurt ourselves. For many people, infidelity or any kind of betrayal is a deal breaker and sometimes it's not. Sometimes there are so many other things leading up to the betrayal or infidelity that, of course, do not excuse it, but also contribute to why there might be an opening for forgiveness and an opportunity to rebuild the relationship from a fresh start. When it comes to infidelity or betrayal, it's not a black-and-white topic. Forgiveness is a process; it doesn't happen overnight and it is not something we can do just with our mind. We need to do it with our hearts and our somatic body. We need to move through those emotions of anger, sadness, hurt, and shame to get to a place of — "How do I really feel about this situation, and is my heart open to repair?" Consider/Ask Yourself: Have you ever been unfaithful in a relationship or have you been cheated on? What do you define as betrayal? Have you gotten clear inside your mind, inside your heart, and with your partner on what is a betrayal and what the agreements are in your relationship? If you have let someone back into your life after betrayal, have you been able to trust again or have you always been looking over your shoulder? Have you always lived with a sense of really not getting your needs met? Jade's Question: Jade is having trouble navigating trust in a rekindled relationship that ended through betrayal and infidelity. She would like guidance on how to move past the betrayal to build a new relationship. Jade's Key Insights and Ahas: After one year, her relationship ended with betrayal. Both she and her partner are doing work to rekindle the relationship. She is doing inner work to recognize when she is triggered. She loves her partner and recognizes the humanness in the betrayal. She fears self-betrayal by letting him back into her life. She knows letting him back into her life will be challenging. She doesn't know if she can ever trust him again. There was dishonesty in her past relationships. She felt not enough in her childhood home and didn't feel safe. Her mother did not validate or reassure her. She hasn't felt safe in her relationships. She is hyper-vigilant. She is leaning into the discomfort of the situation. How to Get Over It and On With It: Put prevention plans and agreements in place to start with a blank slate to create safety for herself in the relationship. Know that whatever happens, she is going to be okay. Find a place to process her feelings with someone else besides her partner. Do not worry about other people's guilt and shame. Release her fear and regulate her nervous system. Assignment: Write about trust and what it means to her. Write out the agreements that need to be made to move forward in the relationship. Sponsor: Sensate — is an infrasound resonance device that when paired with sessions in the companion app works towards reducing stress, and improving well-being. It provides deep relaxation in 10‒30 minute sessions to tone the vagus nerve. For $30 off your purchase, go to GetSensate.com and use the promo code OVERIT. Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Jenny Eversole is the founder of Stylespace.com a virtual styling platform to elevate your style with expert stylists. After nearly a decade running her own fashion label, she learned how personal style can make a big difference in one's confidence, happiness and overall success. Jenny founded Style Space for people to discover their best style and to look, feel, and BE their best.

This call is about setting boundaries and taking care of your own needs. Today's caller, Caitlyn, has an expectation hangover about her engagement planning process. She is excited about her wedding, but her family and friends don't seem to be. We cover a lot of ground and we go really deep in this episode. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode406] Being a caretaker can be a survival skill. Survival needs can be the need to feel loved, valued, and like we belong. When one of our patterns is tied to those needs, it can be hard to release. Consciously, we may know it's not healthy for us to be a caretaker and that we should set boundaries but unconsciously, there may be a part of us that wonders who will love us and how we will fit into your family if we stop caretaking others. When our bodies are working hard to hold all of our suppressed emotions together it needs another outlet for release. Our third chakra, our energy center, is tied to personal empowerment. If we don't have boundaries and allow other people to suck our energy, things will shift within the body to compensate. We can manifest a physical ailment when keeping emotional issues bottled up or by not feeling empowered. Join in for the live group coaching call on June 22, 2003, at 5 pm PST / 8 pm EST on self-love. It's only $20 and you will get live access or if you can't make it live, it will be recorded and mailed to you so you can listen at any time. Go to ChristineHassler.com/group to save your seat. Consider/Ask Yourself: Is there a current expectation hangover upsetting you and reminding you of something that happened in the past? Do you relate to being a caretaker in your life? Are you afraid to stop taking care of others because you fear losing love or validation? Is it challenging for you to set boundaries? Do you say yes to things when you really mean no? Do you over-compromise and sacrifice your own needs because it is easier than upsetting people? Is there a prolonged physical condition you are dealing with that cannot be resolved? Caitlyn's Question: Caitlyn wants to know why she is having so many expectation hangovers while she is planning her wedding. Caitlyn's Key Insights and Ahas: She wants more support from friends and family about her wedding. She is trying to get out of the caretaker role in her family. She has always been a planner. She feels tired, disappointed, and hurt during the wedding planning process. She stepped into the caretaker role in her family as a teenager. She was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis at thirteen. She taught people how to treat her. She is manifesting her physical condition. She gives away her power by always taking care of others. She puts herself last. Emotions were not expressed in her family. Her sister is also planning a wedding. How to Get Over It and On With It: Put herself first and not worry about other people's upset. Allow herself to feel her emotions. Connect and talk to her younger self. Say thank you to her illness for sending her a message. Start writing from her heart with release writing. Have self-compassion and know it is okay to be seen. Talk to her sister about the things that matter to her. Forgive herself for buying into the understanding that being a caretaker is a way to get love. Takeaways: If you are dealing with any type of expectation hangover, go back in time and ask yourself, "What does this remind me of?" Do the "empty chair" process at home. Let things go through journaling and release writing. Set and stand by your boundaries with people and let them be upset. Sponsor: Aquatru — purifies water using a four-stage reverse osmosis process. The countertop purifiers remove 15 times more contaminants than ordinary pitcher filters plus the water tastes fantastic. Their long-lasting and affordable filters are independently tested and certified to NSF standards to remove over 80% of the most harmful contaminants. Go to Aquatru.com and enter OVERIT at checkout to get 20% off any purifier. Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Meet Mark Groves: Human Connection Specialist, founder of Create the Love and Mine'd and host of the Mark Groves Podcast. In other words, he's a speaker, writer, motivator, creator and collaborator. Mark's work bridges the academic and the human, inviting people to explore the good, the bad, the downright ugly, and the beautiful sides of connection.His purpose? To empower individuals to step into their power, transform the way they relate to themselves and others, and create authentic change for a life + love they'll look back on with a resounding "f*ck yes! Learn more: https://createthelove.com/

This episode is about leaning into femininity and recognizing self-worth. Today's caller, Lana, has childhood wounding that makes her wish she looked a different way. She would like guidance on how to be more feminine, have a healthier body image, and stop feeling jealous. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode405] Many women have mothers who did not have a healthy body image. And, often as children, we take that on. But, there is so much more than how we look. If we focus on how we look and compare ourselves to other people, we miss out on the incredible gifts that we are here to enjoy in this lifetime. We are constantly being programmed with what is "beautiful." We all have different ways in which the feminine expresses through us. It is essential for us to change the way society frames beauty for the future, for women, and for little girls. It is changing, but we have a long way to go. And, jealousy is a waste of energy. It is often a positive projection. When we look at someone who is "attractive," what we are really seeing is their confidence or the way they feel comfortable in their body. The next time you feel jealous, think about how you would rather be using that valuable, precious energy. Because jealousy kills our self-worth, sense of spirit, femininity, and relationships. It is no one else's job to make us feel secure in a relationship. My upcoming Signature Retreat is for women who want to go deeper into their consciousness, expand their femininity, get clear about their purpose, and heal wounds. Get exquisite self-care from October 13‒15 in San Diego, CA. To apply go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat. There is still time to get the early bird discount. Listen to this Coaches Corner episode to find out what happens during the retreat ChristineHassler.com/2022/08/coaches-corner-346. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you deal with jealousy? Do you think that if you looked differently that your life would be better? Did you grow up with a mother or a parent who didn't have a good body image and they passed that on to you? Do you know what being in your feminine and femininity means? Lana's Question: Lana would like tools to boost her body image and overcome jealous feelings in her relationship. Lana's Key Insights and Ahas: She deals with extreme jealousy but trusts her boyfriend. She has been in her current relationship for five years. She has low self-confidence. She doesn't feel feminine. She compares herself with other people. She's been hurt by relationships from her youth. Her mother didn't have a healthy body image. She is focused on looking a certain way. She is creative, loving, and has a big heart. Her soul wants acceptance for who she is. She puts a lot of energy into thinking she should look different. She wants to enjoy her life. How to Get Over It and On With It: Be compassionate with her feelings when she is triggered. Begin studying what it means to be in her feminine power. Instead of using her energy on jealousy and comparison, use it to enhance her creativity and joy. Sponsor: Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are beautiful, easy to clean and use, and non-toxic. The cookware and bakeware sets have a naturally slick ceramic surface. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the limited-time offer of 10% off on their full suite of products by using the promo code OVERIT at checkout. Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.