Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

This coaching call is about the difference between masculine energy and hypervigilance. Today's caller, Jo, has been caring for her husband after a debilitating accident. She believes she is functioning only in her masculine energy and would like some balance, but her actions may be coming from a response to trauma she hasn't fully processed. Christine offers guidance. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode415]. There is an unconscious, and sometimes conscious, expectation that masculine energy is supposed to be strong and be able to hold us. But, what masculine energy truly is, is taking initiative, moving in a linear way, being present, and holding for things. It is making quick decisions about things and being productive in certain ways. Healthy masculine energy is NOT about being so busy and doing everything for everyone that we are depleted completely — That's being hyper-vigilant. Hypervigilance is a response to trauma that makes us feel out of control. Because no one chooses trauma. It is completely out of our control. When we are hypervigilant, we are looking for a way to feel in control again. We think if we do and control everything, we can prevent expectation hangovers or more trauma. If you're trying to shift more into your feminine energy when you're in hypervigilance, good luck because in order for you to shift into your feminine energy, you have to feel safe and if you are in hypervigilance, you do not feel safe. My upcoming Signature Retreat is for women who are ready to let go of their limiting beliefs. For a nurturing self-care experience, join like-minded women from October 13‒15 in San Diego, CA. To apply for a partial scholarship go to ChristineHassler.com/scholarship. Consider/Ask Yourself: Has there been a drastic change in your life you haven't had time to process because you have had to go right into action? Do you often think you're in your masculine when you are truly in hypervigilance? Are you someone that is so used to doing, you often don't even know how to be? When it comes to surrender and accepting things, how are you with it? Can you let go or do you like to fight with reality? Jo's Question: Jo is asking for guidance on how to prolong being in her feminine energy and relinquish her feelings of needing to be in control. Jo's Key Insights and Ahas: Her husband was in a debilitating accident. She feels she shifted into her masculine after her husband's accident. She likes being in her feminine but feels pulled out of it too often. She wants to relieve her husband's pain. She does inner child work and meditation. She has a tendency to be a people pleaser. She has been a control freak in the past but wants to let go of it. She hasn't done trauma-release work. Her father was strict and unpredictable. She does everything for others. She questions her self-worth. She wants to cure her husband's pain. Her husband has accepted his physical condition. She is grieving and hasn't fully processed the incident. How to Get Over It and On With It: Realize she is being hypervigilant, not in her masculine. Find a somatic and trauma-release-work therapist. Have compassion for herself. Release her anger and trauma. Recalibrate her nervous system. Have conversations with her husband about creating polarity in their relationship. Accept where her husband is in his healing process. Takeaways: Are you in your masculine energy or being hypervigilant? Sponsor: Milkify.me — is a concierge breast milk freeze-drying service for mothers who are breastfeeding or planning to breastfeed that transforms frozen milk into convenient pouches of powder that last for 3 years. To get $40 off your first order message @Milkify.me on Instagram or at Milkify.me and mention the code Christine. Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

In your personal development journey, you may be asking "what's the point?" You are doing all this "work" and you are not seeing the changes in your life that you desire. In this CC I answer this question and give you reassurance to keep going.

This coaching call is about how patience and compassion without clarity can lead to resentment. Today's caller, Lucy, doesn't feel like a priority in her partner's life. She asks for guidance on whether the relationship is right for her or if there are too many red flags. Christine shares some skills that can help Lucy get what she wants from her relationship. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode414]. Consciousness isn't just about talking about our wounding or holding space for someone when they cry. It's about taking action that's in integrity and alignment with who we say we are. When we have a lot of emotional vulnerability or sexual intimacy and vulnerability with a man, we can mistake it for being in a conscious relationship. If you are in a dynamic where you're having a lot of emotional intimacy, but you don't have the consistency or the feeling of safety, it's not as conscious as you may think. What do you need to do to make a relationship more conscious? Bring accountability, responsibility, and agreements into it. Consciousness is an aspect of sacred union, and in sacred union, there's a masculine and feminine. There is the being and the doing. We can't just swim around in the feminine being of vulnerability, processing, and emotional intimacy without the masculine of doing, showing up, and having structure. We need both, otherwise, our inner child doesn't feel safe. My upcoming Signature Retreat is for women who are ready to let go of their limiting beliefs. For a nurturing self-care experience, join like-minded women from October 13‒15 in San Diego, CA. To apply for a partial scholarship go to ChristineHassler.com/scholarship. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you in a relationship, whether it will be romantic or otherwise, that you're doubting or you don't have clarity about? Are you someone who has trouble asking for what you need so you ask for it in a vague, safe way? Do you not feel like a priority in a relationship, or as a child? Are you doubting yourself? Are you feeling some nudges and doubts about something but you're doubting your doubts? Lucy's Question: Lucy feels stuck when trying to discern the difference between what is a red flag and what is her intuition in a new relationship. Lucy's Key Insights and Ahas: She feels that this new relationship is her first adult relationship. She has a hard time trusting herself. Her mother didn't trust her. She and her partner are in the process of defining their relationship. She wants to know if the relationship is right for her. She doesn't feel like a priority to her partner. She appreciates certainty and consistency. Her partner has full custody of his two children. Her partner doesn't make plans with her but asks for dates with little notice. As a child, she longed for her mother's attention. She is still learning about herself and her patterns in relationship. How to Get Over It and On With It: Propose a schedule to her partner and re-negotiate if needed. Get specific about what she needs from the relationship. Takeaways: Where do you need to have more masculine energy in your relationships? Where do you need to make clear agreements so you can feel safe? Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

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This coaching call is about surrender and keeping hope. Today's caller, Eva, is ready to give up hope and accept that she may never get pregnant. But her intuition is telling her that one day she will be a mother. She asks Christine for guidance and clarity about how to shift into acceptance and let go of her desire to have a baby. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode413]. Our drive and yearning to have a child can be due to our wanting to make our own childhood different. It is a reason why the desire to have a child can be so strong. There is an attachment to wanting to have a biological child that causes a degree of stress inside our system and it can make it harder for the body to get pregnant. The body will relax when we surrender. But how do we surrender but not give up hope? Resignation is giving up and feeling that you don't care about what happens. Surrender is more of a letting-go energy. Just handing it over to a higher power, handing it over to a source, handing it over to God, and keeping that longing and desire in your heart. Oftentimes, our "soul babies" want a certain kind of clearing of generational patterns before they come in. And, our bodies strive to be healthy before they carry a baby. My upcoming Signature Retreat is for women who are ready to let go of their limiting beliefs. For a nurturing self-care experience join like-minded women from October 13‒15 in San Diego, CA. To apply for a partial scholarship go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat. Consider/Ask Yourself: Have you been wanting something for a long time and you keep trying but it's not happening? Have you decided to surrender, but still have some hope and it leads to an expectation hangover? Were you able to fully relax and surrender as a child? As a coping strategy, are you a planner? Does controlling and planning everything help you to feel safe? Eva's Question: Eva has been trying to have a child and has not yet gotten pregnant. Her intuition tells her she will one day have a child. She is looking for guidance about how to reduce her monthly expectation hangovers. Eva's Key Insights and Ahas: She used fertility drugs to try to get pregnant. She grieved the idea of being childless. Her gut tells her that one day she will become pregnant and be a mother. She doesn't want to have an expectation hangover every month when she menstruates. Her planning and control is a trauma response. She believes she needs to mother herself better. Her mother was emotionally volatile. Her mood as a child was based on the mood of her mother. Her nervous system is dysregulated. Her inner child wants to be held. How to Get Over It and On With It: Surrender and let go of the attachment to having a biological child but stay open to the idea. Rediscover her true essence. Know that it is not her fault for not getting pregnant. Give herself the childhood, and love she deserves, but never had. Begin the Inner Child Workshop. Sponsor: Caraway Cookware — Caraway products are toxicity-free, beautiful, easy to clean and use. The cookware and bakeware sets have a naturally slick ceramic surface. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the limited-time offer of 10% off on your next purchase by using the promo code OVERIT at checkout. Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Ladies, do you lean more toward being a bitch or a doormat? I know that's not a very nice question to ask, but it's an important one! We all have the capacity to have bitchy moments when we are impatient, snappy, cold or just a bit rude. And we all have the capacity to have moments where we people please or let someone else walk over our boundaries. In this episode I talk about why we act this way and what we can do to change it. Also, here is a link to the article I reference in the show: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/doormat-diva-alpha-female-bitch-from-hell-which-one-jodie-salt

This coaching call is about embracing our mother energy. Today's caller, Davina, is a life coach struggling to attract her ideal clients. She was told that she may fear being seen, but it didn't entirely resonate with her. During the session, she discovers that it is an inner-child wound impacting her efforts. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode412]. When we have blocks, when imposter syndrome comes up, or we are not attracting what we want, we can believe it is a fear of being seen. And while that may be true in many ways — many of us do have a fear of being seen and being vulnerable, but that is not always what it is. There may be something deeper that is more accurate. There are inner-child, super-subconscious wounds and operating systems we develop when we are young impact our lives in various ways that we are not aware of. Whenever our reaction to something doesn't match the circumstance in terms of severity, our inner child is triggered. For anyone, especially coaches, sometimes we think we need to have great answers all the time, but if we can just hold a space of love and compassion for people in our life, that is often more powerful than any piece of advice or aha moment we can create. Often, someone feeling not-judged is the biggest aha moment they can possibly have. At Elementum Coaching Institute, we train epic coaches. If you resonate with this podcast and Christine's style of coaching, this is the coaching certification program for you. Even if you are not a coach, and want a personal transformation program to give you coaching skills you can use with your employees or peers, in relationships, or with children you are encouraged to apply at ElementumCoachingInstitute.com. Enrollment closes September 1, 2023, and the course begins September 14th. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you believe you have a fear of being seen or is it hard to put yourself out there? Are you a coach and you are having difficulty attracting the exact kind of clients you want? Do you have a childhood that involves some kind of abandonment or not a feeling really chosen by a parent? Do you get angry, frustrated, or annoyed when people copy you? Davina's Question: Davina is struggling to attract her ideal clients and is asking for guidance about her messaging efforts. Davina's Key Insights and Ahas: She is a life coach. She is annoyed by people who copy her. A coach told her she is afraid of being seen. Her mother abandoned her and started a different family. She had to share her mother's attention. She felt she has always had to do things on her own. She feels sad and angry. She grieves the loss of the relationship she had with her mother. Being vulnerable is uncomfortable for her. Her father wasn't emotionally available. She is vulnerable when she feels safe and supported. She takes a long time to open up to people. How to Get Over It and On With It: Know that her anger and sadness are valid and that it needs to be expressed. Work with her inner child about her mother's leaving. Take the opportunity to be open and honest. Give herself as much time as she needs. Write down how she would coach others in a similar situation. Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This coaching call is about honoring yourself and another person by completing an unhealthy dynamic. Jade & Matthew both join this couple's session to ask Christine for guidance about where to go in their current relationship. If you are going through a relationship breakup or if it is time to end a relationship, this episode is valuable especially if there is wounding playing out in your relationship. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode411]. One of the ways that we suffer most in relationship is thinking that our love will change someone. But, the opportunity to truly heal and step into their greatest potential is up to that person. Oftentimes, coming together in relationship does help someone step into their fullest potential, but there's a caveat: they have to do it. They have to want it and it has to happen quickly. If you're in a relationship where it has been years of the other person going back to their old patterns, then you are in the cycle of them apologizing and feeling awful and you taking them back thinking things will be different. They are going to do their work and then something else happens but you see their little boy or little girl, and you love them, and this time was different and they're really doing the work, and they're seeing the counselor, but then they do it again. It's just a loop. I encourage you to choose you, to love you. They need to do their healing on their own. Making the choice to end, or complete, an unhealthy dynamic to heal individually is a gift we give to the other person. When we trust love and truth it always gets us to where we want to go. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you an enabler or are you addicted to someone else enabling you? Do you tend to be a little codependent or a lot codependent in relationships? Do you know that you love someone so much but no matter how much you love them it's up to them to change? Are you feeling that it is time for a conscious uncoupling in your relationship? Jade & Matthew's Question: Jade & Matthew ask for guidance about how best to heal themselves. Jade & Matthew's Key Insights and Ahas: Matthew feels relieved. They separated after he returned from his travels. Matthew shared his shadows with Jade. Matthew became aware that he seeks validation from other women. Matthew will do inner child work via therapy. Jade believes it is best for them to not have contact while they are healing. Jade needs to see Matthew needs to love himself. Matthew wants Jade to be in his life because he feels a soul-level connection to her. How to Get Over It and On With It: Have no contact with each other for one year so they can heal themselves. Use the sentence starters Christine gave them to journal about their feelings. Jade needs time alone and for Matthew to respect that. Take the opportunity to learn what healthy, mature love is. Sponsor: Sensate — is an infrared resonance, calming device that when synchronized with sessions in the companion app works towards reducing stress, and improving well-being. It provides deep relaxation in 10‒30 minute sessions to tone the vagus nerve. For $30 off your purchase, go to GetSensate.com and use the promo code OVERIT. Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

I'm answering another question from a listener this week! She asked me to expand upon a phrase I've used in the show: leaky sexual energy. In this episode I'll describe what leaky sexual energy is, where it comes from, how to recognize it, how it impacts

This coaching call is about when our childhood wounding is triggered by a child. Lorena feels she has a parenting blind spot when it comes to her relationship with one of her stepchildren. She would like guidance on how to be a better stepmom and how to respond rather than react when she is triggered. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode410] There are different blessings that go along with being a stepparent. But, in general, parenting can be hard. You can love a child so much but still get frustrated and triggered and then feel guilty about it. Understanding that we are human and we get triggered goes a long way. Parenting is a spiritual practice. For these little beings that choose us, either as parents or step-parents, we have a soul contract. And, relationships and parenting are some of the biggest ways we evolve as humans. With that said, we tend to reject people and behavior that reminds us of our wounded parts. We can have an ick factor towards it or them because we carry internal judgment and have self-protection mechanisms in place. It is much easier to love someone who doesn't share the same wounding. When we are triggered, pausing and taking the time to regulate our nervous system allows us to be in the moment and respond to children, not from the viewpoint of our inner child, but as the adults we've become. Consider/Ask Yourself: Did you ever feel rejected or neglected as a child? Did you want more nurturing and love? Do you have a child or a stepchild that you just don't connect to and it bothers you, and you feel guilty because you don't like being around that child as much as you do your other children? Are you committed to being a better parent both to yourself and your inner child and your child or children? Lorena's Question: Lorena feels she has a blind spot in her relationship with her stepchild and is asking for guidance about building a better relationship. Lorena's Key Insights and Ahas: She has been a stepmother since 2016. Her stepchild struggles with emotional regulation. She has a baby and two stepchildren. There may not have been an original mother/child bond in her stepchild's life. She doesn't want to be around her stepchild. She feels invaded and resents the extra effort it takes to nurture her stepchild. Her father was an alcoholic and made inappropriate requests of her. Her stepchildren are there 50% of the time. Her husband looks to her to be a mature stepparent. She beats herself up for her feelings toward her stepchild. She didn't get loving attention from her mother. How to Get Over It and On With It: Tell her inner child that her father's care wasn't her responsibility. Accept that her stepchild is a trigger for her. Try seeing herself in her stepchild. Pause, take a deep breath, and say — I love you, and I got you — when triggered to regulate her nervous system. Do not underestimate what a nine-year-old can talk about. Get in alignment with her husband about her stepparenting. Sponsor: Sensate — is an infrared resonance device that when synchronized with sessions in the companion app works towards reducing stress, and improving well-being. It provides deep relaxation in 10‒30 minute sessions to tone the vagus nerve. For $30 off your purchase, go to GetSensate.com and use the promo code OVERIT. Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.