Radio Toilet ov Hell

This week on Toilet Radio: We invented straight edge beer. Also, Five Finger Death Punch (I know, I know) is back with a new single that explores ground never before covered in music: what if a carnival was EviL???? We discuss children’s literature that knuckledragging bands can use to help write lyrics. We’re celebrating Tim Lambesis new marriage and commiserating that 3 members of As I Lay Dying have left the band citing a sudden sense of clarity lol. Breno tells us about being in the Bad Kid Hall of Fame and we see the latest revelations that the FBI has been funding Aosoth for 20 years via the failing Order of Nine Angles. Sad! Finally, we talk about a bunch of dorks getting arrested in a U-Haul truck and the Duke Nukem movie that will probably (hopefully) never happen. Music featured on this ‘sode: Temptress – Hot Rails Don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe to Toilet Radio on iTunes so you’ll get new episodes automatically. Or use Stitcher if you don’t fuck with Apple.

This week on Toilet Radio: Joe and Breno discuss what it’s like to be a human rotting towards middle age. We’re talking about the failure of starting a band on Craigslist, refusing to engage with music, and finding new hobbies to get into forum arguments about. Breno regales us with a tale of seeing Kirk Hammett forget how to play guitar at a festival populated by young pop bands and… Weezer. Ugh. ALSO, Amon Amarth has a new track out and we finally get an answer to the question, “What if Five Finger Death Punch tried to rip off Bolt Thrower?” In better news, Mercyful Fate has new music and there’s a trailer for a new Beavis and Butthead movie! Breno sends nice pedals to up-and-comers Knoll and we impotently yell at the Federal Reserve for making us broke as shit. Music featured on this ‘sode: A Wilhelm Scream – GIMMETHESHAKES Don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe to Toilet Radio on iTunes so you’ll get new episodes automatically. Or use Stitcher if you don’t fuck with Apple.

THIS WEEK ON TOILET RADIO: We got a lovely email from a listener asking, “So what exactly do I do with the information that Matt Pike is big time into antisemitic conspiracy theories?” We’re also talking about what was the final Maryland Deathfest(?) including: Will Rahmer’s Big Weekend Out, people doing gross shit, barricades burst, beer shortages, and a death in the middle of a festival. Can’t say I blame the organizers for calling it quits. Exhorder has a new guitarist: Pat O’Brien, formerly of Cannibal Corpse. Weird! Akhlys got mad about not being included in the festivities and had to look up some synonyms about it. Finally, Prosthetic Records is now sponsoring our favorite soccer team: The Glossop North End Football Club. Everyone knows we’ve been lifelong fans of this club so it’s a nice surprise. Music featured on this ‘sode: Cave In – Blood Spiller Don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe to Toilet Radio on iTunes so you’ll get new episodes automatically. Or use Stitcher if you don’t fuck with Apple.

This week on Toilet Radio: We’re talking about INFLATION and I don’t mean erotic images online! Classic rock VJs cannot handle the cost of chicken parmesan. Joe cannot justify spending $29 on apples. Inflation is so bad that Vince Neil is forced to do ads for payday loans. And amid all this, Metallica thinks you’ll spend $1600 on a record player? And here comes Universal Music Group gouging the price of vinyl? Get right outta town! We’re also talking about Matt Pike’s descent from fun, drug-addled weirdo to “Jewish banker” conspiracy mongering. Not great! Finally, we’re talking about the imminent return of Power Trip. Folks, it’s an episode. Music featured on this ‘sode: Low Cunning – I Refuse to Believe This Multi-Level Dungeon Was Formed Naturally Over Several Eons Because There Are Fucking Stairs Between Floors Don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe to Toilet Radio on iTunes so you’ll get new episodes automatically. Or use Stitcher if you don’t fuck with Apple.

This week on Toilet Radio: The metal community lost an absolute titan of the scene this week and we wanted to spend some time remembering our friend. But I promise this episode isn’t all tears, we’ll also get into the fun, stupid things (we assume) you want to hear. Including: Dismember personally killing Maryland Deathfest forever in a convoluted attempt to avoid the Fauci Ouchie. Looks like Sweden ain’t such hot shit now! ROCK N ROLL CORNER. We then take a look at the latest trend that’s no good: cancel-culture-themed albums from Polish legacy bands. MOVIE CORNER FEAT. ROBERT ZOMBIE AND CHRISTOPHER GUEST. Finally, The Nuge wants to crack your skull open. BRB getting a come and take it tattoo on my forehead. Folks, it’s a podcast. Music featured on this ‘sode: The Black Dahlia Murder – Sunless Empire Don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe to Toilet Radio on iTunes so you’ll get new episodes automatically. Or use Stitcher if you don’t fuck with Apple.  

This week on Toilet Radio: we’re taking a quick detour to the movie theater to check out The Northman (feat. Willem Dafoe’s giant dick). From there, we discuss a Tik Tok rapper’s take on Slayer’s Raining Blood – it’s the future of rock, unfortunately! Judas Priest enters the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame and for one brief, shining moment, Eddie Trunk was silent. We’re getting excited about Sharon Osbourne’s thrilling new documentary series focused on the topic everyone associates with Sharon Osbourne: cancel culture. We have a long discussion about the imminent loss of rights to bodily autonomy so if you don’t want to hear that, I recommend you skip this episode. Finally, we talk about Danzig’s decision to call it quits. Folks, it’s been a week and it’s been an episode. If you’d like to help people get necessary medical care, check out this link and give some dough if you’re so inclined. Music featured on this ‘sode: Old Nick – Ghost O’ Clock Don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe to Toilet Radio on iTunes so you’ll get new episodes automatically. Or use Stitcher if you don’t fuck with Apple.

This week on Toilet Radio: I’m sick lol. Topics include melting high-end audiophile gear, HIT PARADER PRESENTS: NO COVER, Sully Erna and Dez from Coal Chamber almost died from covid, and we argue over the ethics of seeing our friends naked. The big story this week: Avenged Sevenfold took donations to pull off some shady crypto scheme that sent a handful of empty plate carriers to Ukrainians. We dive into the whole mess. Also, Tattoo the Earth returns 20 years later with Hatebreed in the exact same slot, GBK listening party, Kirk Hammett’s solo material and the boys teach me the real reason Jason left Metallica. It’s a good one. Music featured on this ‘sode: passionplay – Parasite Don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe to Toilet Radio on iTunes so you’ll get new episodes automatically. Or use Stitcher if you don’t fuck with Apple.

This week on Toilet Radio: Breno and Jordo take over to talk CONTENT OVERLOAD. Also: Decibel is starting their own metal label, and the consolidation of the metal media sphere continues. Metal Hammer wants you to know the TOP 10 BEST nü metal singers because that’s the information Metal Hammer readers demand to know. Is this the end of Maryland Death Fest? It looks like 2022 will be the final MDF. RIP Cynthia Plastercaster. Finally, Tool is FunkoPopping their way to the Billboard Charts again with limited edition variants of that album nerds can’t get enough of. Folks, it’s a good one. Music featured on this ‘sode: Static Abyss – Labyrinth of Veins Don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe to Toilet Radio on iTunes so you’ll get new episodes automatically. Or use Stitcher if you don’t fuck with Apple.

This week on Toilet Radio: we watched Metal Lords, an R-rated teen dramedy aimed at a teenage and/or Gen X audience. Written by D.B. Weiss (Game of Thrones, “Flowers for Charlie”) and directed by Peter Sollett (Untitled Minecraft Film), Metal Lords is a movie that exists for an audience that may not exist. Jordan and I compare and contrast the experience of being a teenage metalhead with the actions depicted on screen, celebrate unexpected violence as the apex of comedy, and argue over whether or not this movie is worth half a shit. Join us for this 80-minute podcast about a 98-minute movie. Music featured on this sode: Skullflower – Machinery of Torment (the song from the movie. it’s p good, actually!) Don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe to Toilet Radio on iTunes so you’ll get new episodes automatically. Or use Stitcher if you don’t fuck with Apple.

This week on Toilet Radio we’re discussing alcohol withdrawal, rat infestations, and furries. And then at the 10-minute mark we start this week’s show: FAKE BANDS. We’re talking about some of our favorite (and least favorite) bands created explicitly for the purposes of a fictional narrative. Enjoy this non-exhaustive list of bands on this week’s show and then stab that play button. The Oneders (That Thing You Do!), Scäb (Home Movies), Spinal Tap, Otis Day & The Knights (Animal House), Steel Dragon (Rock Star), The Lone Rangers (Airheads), The Aint Rights (Green Room), Josie & The Pussycats, The Misfits (Jem & The Holograms), Thoth (Something Awful), Deathgasm, The Power of Wings (Key & Peele), Black Roses, The Soggy Bottom Boys (O Brother Where Art Thou), The Queen Haters (SCTV), The Rutles, The Monkees, Death Lurks (Kids in the Hall), Mouse Rat (Parks & Recreation), Darlene McBride (MadTV), and Drake (Degrassi). Due to this episode, it is with great regret I announce that we will be watching Lords of Metal on Netflix for an episode soon. Don’t forget to rate, review, and subscribe to Toilet Radio on iTunes so you’ll get new episodes automatically. Or use Stitcher if you don’t fuck with Apple.