The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast

Today I welcome Irina Diyankova back to the podcast. Her last episode, Is It Trauma or Neurodivergence? was one of our most popular. This time we explore what happens when "going inside" during an IFS session becomes hard for clients. She finds this is especially true with neurodivergent and C-PTSD clients. Irina shares why externalization can be so helpful in these cases. Instead of relying only on what's happening internally, bringing things outside, like mapping, speaking out loud, connecting visually or relationally, really help. We also talk about how IFS isn't a cookie-cutter model. We all respond differently, and part of the work is noticing what helps you stay engaged and attuned to a particular client's system. One of my favorite segments was hearing her talk about building community inside with part-to-part relationships. This is where we help parts notice each other, listen, and begin to relate differently. These part-to-part connections are just as important in the healing process as Self-to-part. We also talk about slowing things down in session, and how that's a small-but-critical opportunity for healing. Saying, "what you just said is important," or "tell me more about that." For many people, that kind of attention wasn't there growing up. It can feel unfamiliar, and also really supportive. Later in the conversation, Irina shares about her experience with cancer, being in remission, and what it's been like to be with her system in the process. She talks about holding different parts at the same time, and relating to cancer not as something to fight, but something to understand. Don't miss my short extended interview with Irina over on Substack, where she shares what's giving her hope lately. Takeaways from this episode: • Externalizing can make parts work more accessible when staying inside feels hard • IFS isn't one-size-fits-all; adjust based on what you need • Slowing down and naming something as important can help people feel seen • "Community inside" means parts noticing and relating to each other • When Self isn't available, part-to-part connection still helps • Orienting parts to the present can reduce overwhelm • What helps you stay engaged when going inside feels hard? Links: Medium article: Dancing With Cancer Using IFS with Complex Trauma Clients workshop About Irina Diyankova Irina Diyankova, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist, certified IFS therapist, Approved IFS Clinical Consultant, and a Co-Lead Trainer. She has private practice in Knoxville, TN, USA where she specializes in working with complex trauma in adults and adolescents and intersection of trauma and neurodifferences. Irina also maintains consultation practice where she offers individual and group consultation to the IFS therapists and those who are in the process of learning IFS. Being born and raised in Russia, Irina has a special interest in applying IFS across cultures, as well as working with cultural dynamics and burdens. Irina has completed all three levels of IFS training. SHe has also conducted multiple IFS workshops and consultation groups in the US and Russia. She is very passionate and excited about IFS Model and loves sharing it with other therapists and human services professionals. In her leisure time she loves practicing yoga, hiking, traveling, reading and writing. You can learn more about her work at dr-irina.com Episode Sponsor This episode is sponsored by Therapy Training Boston. Therapy Training Boston offers live, in-person, and online workshops, plus consultation for therapists and other helping professionals, designed to support you as a whole person while satisfying your CE requirements. All of their offerings are taught with an eye toward context, power, and relational justice, and draw on the family systems theories and best practices that shaped the IFS model. They also offer an Intensive Certificate Program in Couples and Family Therapy to help you build confidence and capacity in community. About The One Inside I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do. Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more. Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store. Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube. Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger. I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach. Resources New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start. Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away. Sponsorship Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.

Joanna Curry-Sartori, LMFT and founder of the Self-Leadership Collaborative, shares bite-sized ways to bring IFS into daily life. She introduces the PAUSE five-step practice and models it in live exercises. Short conversations cover using PAUSE in classrooms, relationships, experiments for change, and how simple parts language creates space, curiosity, and connection.

On today's episode I welcome Nitsan Joy Gordon, a dance movement therapist, IFS practitioner, and peacebuilder who lives in Israel. Nitsan shares about growing up in Israel, living near the border, and what it's like to live in a place where war and trauma have been part of daily life for generations. She also tells the story of how Internal Family Systems changed her own life. A powerful experience at Esalen with Dick Schwartz inspired her to use IFS in her work back home. Nitsan leads Together Beyond Words, an organization bringing Israelis and Palestinians together to transform pain through deep listening and connection. Her work is guided by the belief that pain that is not transformed is transmitted. After the attacks of October 7 and the immense grief and trauma that followed, Nitsan realized the need for healing had grown beyond what her organization had been doing. Today nearly 80 volunteers are offering ongoing support, and dozens of groups have been created where Israelis and Palestinians can process trauma, grief, and fear together. As you listen, I invite you to notice your own parts. What comes up for you as you hear these stories? What do you feel in your body? For me, this conversation was a reminder of the power of curiosity, one-on-one connection, and the courage it takes to stay present and open in our divided world. In This Episode We Talk About: • What it's like living in Israel today. • Nitsan's organization Together Beyond Words, which brings Israelis and Palestinians together to transform pain through shared healing. • The idea that "pain that is not transformed is transmitted." • A powerful IFS session she had with Dick Schwartz. • How the events of October 7 changed her work. • Why people need separate spaces to grieve before they can reunite. • When she realized the level of trauma requires an "army of healers." • How the Healing for Peace initiative grew from a handful of volunteers to nearly 80. • Why facilitators working in conflict zones are learning IFS tools like unblending and working with polarizations. About Nitsan Joy Gordon Nitsan Joy Gordon is a Dance/Movement Therapist, IFS therapist, and peacebuilder who has been working in Israel/Palestine for over three decades. Her work lives at the meeting point of movement, deep listening, and compassionate presence, creating spaces where pain shaped by conflict can be felt, witnessed, and transformed. She is the author of Together Beyond Words: Women on a Quest for Peace in the Middle East and the initiator of Army of Healers, an offering of safe spaces to feel and heal across deep divides. Learn more at: Together Beyond Words. About The One Inside I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do. Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more. Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store. Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube. Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger. I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach. Resources New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start. Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away. Sponsorship Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.

Meg Josephson, LCSW, a trauma-informed psychotherapist and NYT bestselling author, discusses the fawn response and people-pleasing. Short segments cover how being “nice” can disconnect us, why grief and anger matter for healing, and using mindfulness and the NICER tool to notice needs. She also explores when it’s safe to speak up and how small corrective experiences help parts learn safety.

Marcella Cox, LMFT — a therapist and author specializing in IFS, somatic work, and listening therapies. She explains polyvagal basics and how nervous system states shape parts. They explore co-regulation, differences between Safe and Sound Protocol and Rest and Restore, and how filtered music can open bodily safety and increase Self energy.

Courtney Corona, journalist and podcaster who tells candid stories about love and healing, and Keith Miller, licensed therapist and IFS consultant working with ketamine-assisted therapy, share their messy, brave relationship. They talk radical honesty, starting with the ending, dating app chaos, using IFS in conflict, grieving past lives while loving again, and how psychedelics helped unlock grief and reconnection.

On today's episode I welcome my friend David Stern to the podcast. This conversation feels so perfect right now. It's full of the kind of hope we all need. David has this beautiful way of seeing the spiritual dimension in everything we do. David calls us to remember our "Pure Soul"—the part of us that is already peaceful and cannot be destroyed. He talks about parts as "angels in disguise," the ones inside that have taken on difficult roles to protect that inner light. If you're looking for a way to stay connected to yourself in a chaotic world, this episode is a sacred reminder that your essence is always already okay. We Explore: Why David looks for the unbridled aliveness in every person he meets. Reimagining our parts as refractions of a primal, divine intelligence. How to hold the "horrors" of the world while still choosing to love our people and stay present. Practicing "remembrance" to help shift out of the noise and back into your heart. About David David Stern, Psy.D. is a licensed psycholgoist, certified IFS consultant, dedicated teacher, and the creator of the Thinking Heart IFS Intensive. He also co-founded IFS Healers, an online Community of Practice designed to foster connection, deepen learning, and build community among IFS practitioners. David has trained hundreds of students worldwide and has presented at the IFS International Conference and consults with practitioners globally. About The One Inside I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do. Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more. Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store. Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube. Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger. I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach. Resources New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start. Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away. Sponsorship Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.

Daphne Fatter, a licensed psychologist and trauma consultant who blends parts work with EMDR, joins to discuss nervous system overwhelm and numb, checked-out parts. They cover polarization inside and outside us, how to stay curious with differing perspectives, managing news intake, and finding grounding through connection and local action.

Join Bruce Hersey, an integrative therapist known for combining EMDR and IFS, Joanne Twombly, a specialist in Complex PTSD, and David Polidi, an advocate for compassionate therapy, as they discuss their collaborative book on integrating IFS and EMDR. They explore the importance of combining therapeutic models for flexible client support, the inherent healing process beyond individual methodologies, and strategies for addressing therapist countertransference. Get ready for insightful discussions on coping skills and the vital role of relational dynamics in therapy!

In this insightful conversation, Richard Schwartz, the developer of the Internal Family Systems model, and Jeanne Catanzaro, Vice President of the IFS Institute, share their journey through leadership and personal growth. They discuss Jeanne's rise in public speaking and the dynamics of co-teaching, emphasizing collaboration and humility. The pair reflect on future plans, navigating aging, and how to bring IFS to a wider audience safely while balancing their home life and leisure activities. Their candid humor and warmth reveal the deep care behind their work.