Start with Small Steps

233 - Tests to Understand What Makes Us Tick Understanding personal motivation and behavior is one of the most powerful tools for self-improvement. This episode explores how personality tests can offer practical insight into how people work, what energizes them, and why certain strategies succeed where others fail. It’s not about putting people into boxes—it’s about using patterns and traits as clues to navigate life more effectively. Top Topics: Recognizing Behavioral PatternsEveryone has habits and responses that repeat, often without noticing. Personality assessments help bring those patterns into focus. By observing what consistently works—and what doesn’t—it's possible to better understand tendencies, motivations, and blind spots. That kind of clarity opens the door to intentional, sustainable change. How Myers-Briggs Transforms RelationshipsOne of the most widely known assessments, Myers-Briggs can offer insights into how people process information, make decisions, and interact with others. Learning to appreciate the strengths and weaknesses in different personality types leads to deeper understanding and stronger connections, especially in friendships and partnerships with contrasting traits. The Four Tendencies: Motivation in FocusDeveloped by Gretchen Rubin, the Four Tendencies framework identifies how people respond to expectations—both external and internal. Recognizing whether someone is an Upholder, Obliger, Questioner, or Rebel makes it easier to build effective habits and avoid frustration. For many, it's the missing piece in understanding why traditional advice doesn’t always work. StrengthsFinder and the Value of Self-Knowledge at WorkStrengthsFinder identifies what people naturally do best. Knowing whether someone thrives in problem-solving, communication, learning, or leadership roles allows for smarter career decisions and more effective teamwork. It shifts the focus from fixing weaknesses to building on existing strengths. Exploring the Landscape of Personality ToolsBeyond the big names, several other tools—such as the Big Five, Enneagram, DISC, and Hogan assessments—offer additional layers of insight. Each test highlights different aspects of personality, from emotional stability to core values and work preferences. Understanding how these assessments differ helps in selecting the right tool for personal or professional growth. Takeaways: Personality tests are more than entertaining quizzes—they can be transformative frameworks for self-awareness. Knowing how someone responds to pressure, what drives their behavior, and where they naturally excel provides a roadmap for making better decisions, reducing friction in relationships, and achieving goals more effectively. Rather than guessing or mimicking someone else’s approach, these insights allow for tailored strategies that align with how a person actually operates. When people understand what makes them tick, they can stop fighting their nature and start building lives that truly fit. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/what-makes-us-tick-using-personality-tests-to-understand/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

231 - From Struggle to Strength In this episode of Start With Small Steps, I share the deeply personal and transformative journey of understanding and owning my strengths. From childhood frustrations with writing to discovering a passion for math and science, I talk about how recognizing what you're naturally good at can shape your entire path forward. The Power of Knowing Your Strengths:Growing up, I learned the hard way that forcing yourself to be good at everything leads to frustration. Once I accepted that writing wasn’t my strength and that I lit up around science and math, my entire academic and career trajectory improved. Knowing your strengths isn’t about limitation—it’s about focus. Interest vs. Ability:I talk about how true success comes when interest meets ability. You might love a hobby, but if it doesn’t match your strengths, it can drain rather than energize you. I explain how to distinguish between fleeting passions and lasting competencies. Feedback and Assessment Tools:Friends and coworkers revealed strengths I didn’t even know I had. Tools like the Clifton Strengths Finder and High Five Test added unexpected insight. These moments of reflection helped me reframe how I see myself. When Imitation Backfires:I share the story of how I tried to mimic a successful coworker to get promoted. The turning point came during a work trip where she told me she could never do what I had just done. That moment helped me realize the importance of being the best version of me, not someone else. Takeaways:Recognizing your strengths brings clarity, energy, and direction. Use feedback and assessments to identify your unique talents. Don’t waste time chasing someone else’s strengths—grow what’s already within you. Build your life around the things that feel effortless, exciting, and empowering. Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

230 - Say Yes to Yourself n this episode, the focus is on one of the most pivotal mindset shifts anyone can make: saying yes to opportunity, beginning with the internal yes. It's not just about being open to change—it's about understanding how to negotiate with ourselves, assess our limits, and move forward with clarity and confidence. Sometimes, the biggest changes start with the smallest steps. Whether it's saying yes to something you're unsure about or redefining what a yes looks like, this discussion offers real, personal insights into how a thoughtful commitment can lead to lifelong passion, purpose, and transformation. Saying Yes Starts WithinEvery new opportunity begins with a decision. But the hardest person to convince is often ourselves. This episode explores how internal resistance can block growth—and how saying yes internally is a vital first step toward real change. Understanding the Inner BATNAUsing negotiation theory, the concept of the “Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement” is applied inwardly. Instead of giving a full yes or a full no, it’s possible to shape a commitment that feels right for where we are now. Examples show how to create flexible agreements with ourselves to avoid burnout while still moving forward. The Worst-Case Scenario (WATNA)What’s the actual cost of saying no? Sometimes it's not failure—it’s missing out. There’s a thoughtful look at how evaluating the worst realistic outcome (instead of imagined fears) can help in decision-making, particularly when opportunities feel risky or unclear. The Five Whys and Finding the Real MotivationPeeling back the layers with the “Five Whys” technique leads to the real motivation behind our desires. Whether it's career, health, or creative pursuits, getting to the root “why” makes it easier to say yes with conviction. Growth Through StretchingGrowth doesn’t come from staying in a comfort zone. Saying yes often means learning something new, stumbling a bit, and adjusting along the way. These stretch moments—while uncomfortable—create the capacity for greater confidence and fulfillment. 💡 TakeawaysSaying yes to opportunity isn’t about being blindly optimistic or overcommitting. It’s about tuning into what really matters, understanding personal boundaries, and crafting a yes that’s sustainable and aligned. By negotiating internally—through clarity, compassion, and practicality—it becomes easier to face new opportunities without fear or guilt. When that first internal yes happens, it opens the door to growth, adventure, and impact. Life expands not through perfect planning, but through the willingness to try, stretch, and keep going. This mindset creates momentum and gives permission to grow into the version of ourselves that’s been waiting. Saying yes—especially when it’s shaped with care—is a practice that builds courage, reveals purpose, and transforms the path ahead. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/4094-2/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

229 - How We Learn Matters More Than What We Learn Learning is more than taking in information—it's about transformation. The way learning is approached often determines how deeply it takes root and impacts daily life. This episode explores why being intentional about the learning process makes all the difference. From methods like teaching, project-based work, and reflecting through struggle, to considering how technology like AI fits into the process, this discussion offers a roadmap to learning that leads to growth, resilience, and even joy. Passive vs. Active Learning:Absorbing content without focus—reading while distracted or listening without engagement—leads to shallow understanding. In contrast, active learning, where there’s intention, reflection, and application, creates change. Engaging deeply with a subject by asking questions, taking notes, or testing understanding results in better retention and real-life utility. Teaching to Reinforce Knowledge:One of the most effective ways to learn is to teach. When explaining a concept to others, it becomes necessary to understand it fully. Teaching sharpens thinking, exposes gaps in knowledge, and forces organization of ideas. The process of preparing to teach something naturally deepens personal mastery. Learning Through Projects:Doing something hands-on turns theory into practice. Projects—whether automating a smart home system, organizing with software, or crafting a creative piece—reveal the nuances of a skill. Starting with small, achievable tasks and expanding from there helps build confidence while naturally progressing into more complex areas. The Role of Struggle in Learning:Discomfort is not a sign of failure—it's the place where growth happens. When a concept feels difficult or frustrating, it’s often the moment just before a breakthrough. Seeking out challenges, revisiting hard material, and wrestling with ideas help integrate knowledge on a deeper level. Struggle builds both competence and character. Learning Styles and Personalization:Recognizing how information is best absorbed—visually, audibly, or kinesthetically—can change the learning experience entirely. Tailoring materials and methods to fit natural preferences makes learning smoother and more sustainable. It's not about finding the "right" tool, but the one that fits how the brain works best. Using AI to Enhance, Not Replace, Learning:AI can be a powerful tool for structuring learning paths, brainstorming ideas, and breaking down complex topics. It accelerates access to resources and helps clarify confusion. But it should serve as a guide, not a replacement for real thought. Over-reliance on AI can prevent the necessary struggle and reflection that makes learning stick. Unexpected Passions and Practical Payoffs:Sometimes, what begins as an obligation or neutral task becomes a passion. Exploring new skills can lead to unexpected joy, relationships, or career changes. Other times, learning something unpleasant helps avoid frustration later. Either way, engaging fully with a subject—even without passion—can lead to worthwhile outcomes. Takeaways:The quality of learning depends more on approach than on the content itself. Passive consumption won’t create growth; active engagement will. Teaching others, doing real projects, embracing struggle, and understanding personal learning styles are all ways to turn ordinary learning into something life-changing. AI and other tools can support the journey but can't substitute the internal work required to truly learn. Even when something doesn’t seem enjoyable at first, there’s value in trying it anyway. Passion can grow unexpectedly, and sometimes the reward is not in the task itself, but in the freedom or skill it unlocks. Learning is not about information—it’s about identity. Becoming a better learner builds confidence for tackling anything, from career changes to hobbies to everyday challenges. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/4090-2/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps (link corrected) https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

228 - From Dreamer to Doer In today’s episode, I’m getting real about the trap of being a procrastinator and overthinker. I share how I spent years stuck in analysis, planning, and learning — but not actually changing anything. And most importantly, I talk about how I broke out of that cycle through small daily actions. My Journey from Shelf-Help Scholar to Action Taker:I open up about my old habit of endlessly gathering advice without doing anything with it — and the moment I realized dreaming wasn’t enough. My Favorite Action Strategies:I break down the simple techniques that helped me shift into action, like the Two-Minute Rule, habit stacking, friction reduction, and life scheduling. Finding My Why:I explain how connecting tasks to a bigger purpose (like my dream of hiking across Spain) kept me motivated even on the tough days. How I Use the Five Second Rule:I share how counting down from five helps me smash through hesitation and move toward my goals instantly. Takeaways:If you’re feeling stuck, you’re not broken — you just need to move. I learned that action, not thinking, is what builds a better life. Even if all you do today is take one small step, you’re already winning. I hope you walk away from this episode with new energy, new hope, and a simple truth ringing in your ears: you already have everything you need to change your life. You just have to start. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/228-from-dreamer-to-doer/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps (link corrected) https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

227 - Rebuild Real Trust Trust is one of the most powerful forces in human connection—and also one of the hardest to rebuild when it’s been broken. In this episode, I explore what it means to trust again after growing up in an environment where trust didn’t come easily. Through personal reflection and real-world observations, this conversation unpacks how trust is formed, how it's tested, and how to rebuild it one small step at a time. Understanding Early Lessons in TrustChildhood experiences have a lasting impact on how we relate to others. When people around us are unreliable, inconsistent, or hurtful, it’s easy to adopt a mindset of self-reliance and emotional distance. That mindset can follow us into adulthood and shape every relationship we form. The Circle of Trust: Not Everyone Gets InNot all relationships require the same level of openness. There’s value in having different levels of closeness with different people—from casual acquaintances to deeply trusted friends. Being intentional about who enters each level of that circle helps protect emotional well-being while still allowing meaningful connection. The Trust EquationCredibility, reliability, and intimacy all factor into how much someone can be trusted. But when someone is overly focused on themselves, it weakens that trust. This equation offers a useful framework to assess relationships more clearly and make thoughtful choices about who to invest in. Looks Can Be DeceivingCharm and appearance often fool people into thinking someone is more trustworthy than they really are. That "halo effect" can be dangerous, especially when it distracts from consistent, trustworthy behavior. Recognizing this pattern can prevent misplaced trust. Building Trust Over TimeTrust doesn’t happen overnight. It’s built through small actions repeated consistently—by noticing whether people do what they say, how they respond to conflict, and whether they show genuine care. True trust grows in layers, with each honest moment reinforcing the foundation. Takeaways:Trust is essential to living a full, connected life—but it’s okay to start small. Real relationships aren’t about perfection; they’re about reliability, mutual respect, and emotional safety. Paying attention to patterns, being mindful of your own history with trust, and gradually opening up to the right people can lead to deeper, healthier connections. Everyone deserves relationships grounded in trust—and it’s never too late to start building them. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/trust-or-distrusst/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps (link corrected) https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

100 - Can a Christian Be Stoic? In this episode, I explore a question that has shaped much of my spiritual journey: can a Christian embrace Stoicism? I share how I discovered Stoicism at a young age and how its principles helped me build resilience during difficult times. Later, when I became a Christian, I had to ask whether those Stoic values still had a place in my life—and what I found was both challenging and enlightening. Virtue and Character in Both PathsBoth Stoicism and Christianity call us to a life of integrity—emphasizing values like courage, wisdom, justice, and self-control. I talk about how these overlapping principles shaped the way I approach daily life, relationships, and spiritual growth. Even though the motivations are different—Stoicism is about inner peace, Christianity is about serving God—the virtues themselves resonate in both. Emotions: Controlled or Embraced?One of the biggest contrasts is how emotions are treated. Stoicism promotes emotional restraint. Christianity invites emotional honesty. I reflect on the emotional lives of Jesus and biblical figures like David and Hannah, and what that says about God’s design for our emotional nature. Suffering and ResilienceBoth philosophies prepare us to face hardship. I talk about how Stoicism taught me to endure, but Christianity taught me that suffering has a purpose. One builds strength through discipline; the other brings hope through surrender. Together, they have helped me become more resilient—not just tough, but spiritually anchored. Where Stoicism Can Fall ShortI also share moments where Stoicism made me overly self-reliant. Sometimes I default to solving problems instead of praying through them. That’s where my faith checks me. Christianity invites me to lean on God, not just on grit and planning. 💡 Takeaways: Stoicism gave me tools—clarity, discipline, emotional balance. Christianity gave me relationship—grace, hope, and divine love. I don’t have to abandon one to honor the other. Instead, I’ve learned how to thoughtfully integrate what builds virtue while staying grounded in faith. It’s not about blending the two into a new belief system, but about recognizing where timeless wisdom can sharpen spiritual truth. Whether you’ve ever wrestled with Stoicism and Christianity or are just curious about how ancient philosophy fits into modern faith, this episode is an invitation to reflect, discern, and grow. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/226-stoicism-and-christianity/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps (link corrected) https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

225 - Ancient Stoics Solve Modern Problems In this episode, I reflect on how discovering Stoicism as a young girl profoundly changed how I view the world. From the ancient teachings of Zeno and Epictetus to modern-day applications like mindful eating and emotional resilience, Stoicism offers practical wisdom for anyone navigating life’s chaos. The Origins of Stoicism:I explore the fascinating story of Zeno of Citium, a shipwrecked merchant whose misfortune led him to philosophy. His teachings on virtue, nature, and practical ethics laid the foundation for a timeless way of living. Lessons from Epictetus:A former slave turned philosopher, Epictetus taught that true freedom lies in mastering your internal world. His views on control, endurance, and serenity still resonate today. Personal Stories of Applying Stoicism:I share how I used Stoicism to handle tough family dynamics, including confrontations with my father and grandmother. These stories show how “negative visualization” and calm resolve can transform even the hardest situations. Modern-Day Stoicism:From budgeting to dieting, I explain how I use Stoic principles in everyday life. Whether it’s mindful eating or resisting emotional spending, these ancient tools still work. Virtues in Action:Stoicism isn’t just about reading—it's about doing. I talk about how wisdom, courage, justice, and temperance guide my choices, and how practicing them intentionally can change your life. Takeaways:This episode is a reminder that life’s hardships are inevitable, but our response is within our control. By practicing Stoicism, we gain the tools to live with purpose, resilience, and integrity. The virtues of courage and wisdom aren’t just lofty ideals—they’re daily habits we can build. Whether you’re facing a tough boss, a diet, or emotional overwhelm, Stoicism gives you the mindset to endure and grow. Don’t just read the philosophy—live it. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/225-ancient-stoics-solve-modern-problems/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps (link corrected) https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

224 - Moderation In Everything In this episode, I talk about a life lesson that’s stuck with me since childhood: the importance of moderation. From Greek philosophy to personal experiences with family and faith, I unpack how “all things in moderation” has become a guiding principle in how I view the world and navigate life’s ups and downs. We look at why extremes are so prevalent in today’s culture—and how finding the middle ground might be the key to more peace, better health, and healthier relationships. Greek Roots of ModerationI share how my love for mythology evolved into an interest in philosophy, especially the ancient Greek idea that virtue lies between two extremes. From bravery to self-control, the Greeks saw moderation not as weakness, but as wisdom. The Real-World Impact of ExtremesThrough stories about my own family, I reflect on how living in extremes—whether it's drinking, spending, or judging others—can lead to breakdowns in relationships and self-destruction. Moderation in Emotional and Spiritual LifeDrawing on Stoic philosophers like Seneca and Marcus Aurelius, I explain how emotional balance is just as crucial. It’s not about being emotionless, but being emotionally grounded. Finding the Middle in Modern LifeI touch on examples like food, exercise, and even how we treat others. It’s not about giving up on enjoyment or discipline—it’s about avoiding the burnout and blind spots that come with excess. Takeaways:The key message is simple but powerful: moderation leads to a more peaceful and effective life. We don’t have to live in emotional chaos or rigid restraint. Whether it’s how we eat, spend, love, or work, finding a balance helps us be more present and more authentic. This lesson shaped my path, and I hope it helps you think differently about how you approach the choices and rhythms in your own life. Try identifying one area where you might be going to an extreme, and explore what a more balanced path might look like. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about being intentional. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/224-moderation-in-everything/. Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps (link corrected) https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

223 - Advice from Silly Places This episode explores how surprisingly profound life advice can be found in unexpected places—like cartoons, comic strips, movies, TV shows, music, and even bumper stickers. Drawing from a wide range of pop culture references, this episode reveals the timeless truths hidden in the most playful and unconventional sources. Cartoons with Character and WisdomClassic animated characters like Tweety Bird, Bugs Bunny, Road Runner, and Wile E. Coyote aren’t just entertaining—they offer insights about thinking ahead, handling frustration, and staying true to yourself. Even characters like Yosemite Sam and Elmer Fudd show what happens when anger goes unchecked, while Bugs Bunny reminds us that wit often wins over brute force. Philosophy Through Comics: Calvin and HobbesThis beloved comic strip is full of wisdom disguised as childhood curiosity. From grappling with fairness and creativity to reflecting on friendship, imagination, and life’s meaning, Calvin and Hobbes present simple truths with emotional depth. Song Lyrics That Speak to the SoulFrom “Let It Be” to “I Can’t Make You Love Me,” the lyrics of popular songs are filled with lessons about love, patience, heartbreak, and resilience. Whether uplifting or sobering, these messages hit home with their honest reflections on the human experience. Wise Words from Television and FilmIconic lines from shows and movies like Rocky, The Lion King, Parks and Rec, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, The Mandalorian, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer provide motivation, emotional strength, and perspective. Quotes like “Just keep swimming” or “Tomorrow is another day” remind listeners to push forward, appreciate the present, and keep hope alive. Takeaways:Life’s best advice doesn’t always come from books or lectures—it often comes from the unexpected corners of pop culture. Cartoons teach resilience and wit, comic strips bring philosophical insight, music speaks directly to the heart, and films show how to endure and grow. Whether it’s inspiration from Rocky’s determination, comfort in Dory’s persistence, or humor in Homer Simpson’s honesty, wisdom is all around. Sometimes, all it takes is listening closely to the world we already enjoy. https://startwithsmallsteps.com/223-advice-from-silly-places/ Jill’s Links https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsJillday https://affiliate.notion.so/NorthwoodsAI https://www.youtube.com/@startwithstartwithsmallstepscast https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps https://twitter.com/schmern Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com