Sex Chat for Christian Wives

About this episode Today we're talking about letting go of something old and taking hold of something new in 2020. Sometimes we hold onto habits, thoughts, and behaviors that seemed to serve us well in the past, but now aren't helping us move forward. They're keeping us from moving forward and creating something new and better. What are some things we tend to hold onto, that may have helped us in the best but might be holding us back as we move into the New Year? What are some changes you've made, or changes you know that other women have made, that have allowed them to take hold of something new in their marriage? Sponsor Click Here to Learn More This episode was also sponsored in part by Honoring Intimates, lingerie & more! From the Bible Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. – Isaiah 43:19 I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten— the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm— my great army that I sent among you. You will have plenty to eat, until you are full, and you will praise the name of the Lord your God, who has worked wonders for you; – Joel 2:25-26 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! – 2 Corinthians 5:17 Resources Resolution Week: What's Your "One Word" for Your Marriage? - Hot, Holy & Humorous List of all our episodes Silence the Lies - The Forgiven Wife How Do You Eat an Elephant? - The Forgiven Wife Go Small - The Forgiven Wife To Turn Wailing into Dancing - The Forgiven Wife

Welcome to our Christmas episode! Listen as we share a little about ourselves. Plus, we thank you for listening by offering gift suggestions to build your lovemaking experience, your bedroom ambiance, and your connection with your sweetie. Sponsor Click HERE to learn more. Also sponsored by Honoring Intimates, lingerie and more. From the Bible James 1:17, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." Resources The shopping links below are affiliate links that earn us a small commission at no additional cost to you. Gifts for Lovemaking We Vibe Sync (OysterBed7 We Vibe Sync Review) Liberator wedge pillow or other sex furniture (Should You Get a Sex Pillow? - Hot, Holy & Humorous) Vibrator pilot program Penis ring pilot program Sex blankets and throws Coconut oil Sliquid Splash pH-Balanced Feminine Wash Nooky Orange Blossom Massage Oil Gifts for Bedroom Ambiance Green Tea Infused Memory Foam Mattress Zen Breeze Essential Oil Diffuser with 14 Color Night Light (Calm.Healthy.Sexy Essential Oil Archive) Chesapeake Bay Candle Peace & Tranquility (Bergamot & Ylang Ylang) Twinkling lights or red light bulbs Honoring Intimates babydolls - Stella Red Flower Infinite Moon's EverTravel Set Gifts to Build Intimacy Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations About Sex for Married Couples by J. Parker (Launching the Conversation About Sex in Your Marriage (with Downloadable Sample Chapter of Pillow Talk) - Hot, Holy & Humorous) Hot Monogamy Board Game - Married Dance Couple's Conversation Cards Waterproof Shower Massage Wand - Married Dance Stationery or cards for writing your sweetie a love note Picnic Backpack Bag for 2 Suave Conditioner Aqua Notes Water Proof Note Pad Click HERE to learn more.

About this episode When we struggle with sexual intimacy, we often feel alone. Our husbands may be our go-to support for most things, but if sex isn't working well, he may not be able to help us in the way we need. Sometimes what we really need is support from other women who know what we're going through. In this episode, we talk about how to find support for our sexual struggles and how to use that support to help us grow. We're joined by Ruth Buezis, founder of Awaken-Love Ministry and author of Awaken Love: The Truth About Sex that will Transform Your Marriage. Sponsor Check out the games at Married Dance! Click Here to Learn More about Married Dance ------------------- Learn more about Peace.Love.Joy Learn more about the Honeycomb & Spice Community. From the Bible What does God have to say about letting others help us? Proverbs 11:14 - When there is no guidance a nation falls, but there is success in the abundance of counselors. (NET Bible) Proverbs 27:17 - As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. Galatians 6:2 - Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Resources Awaken Love classes Awaken Love: The Truth About Sex that will Transform Your Marriage (affiliate link) Dealing with Sexual Baggage - The Forgiven Wife Hot, Holy & Humorous HD - Facebook group for higher drive wives Bonny's OysterBed7 community - on Facebook Honeycomb & Spice Community Sex Chat for Christian Wives Community on Facebook Do Your Friends Support Your Sex Life? - Hot, Holy & Humorous Finding Friends to Support Your Marital Intimacy - Hot, Holy & Humorous What Should You Share about Your Sex Life with Friends? - Hot, Holy & Humorous

About the Episode Around 20% of marriages are sexless. That is, the couple has sexual activity ten or fewer times per year. About ten years ago, a New York Times study indicated that 15% of couples haven't had sex in at least six months. Sexlessness in a marriage can be a source of deep pain—and if often reflects pain as well. Today we're going to talk about sexless marriages and what you can do about it if you're in one. Sponsor Click Here to Learn More From the Bible What does God have to say about sexless marriages? "The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 Song of Songs "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ." Galatians 6:2 "You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love." Galatians 5:13 "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others." Philippians 2:3-4 "That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh." Genesis 2:24 "'Haven't you read,' he replied, 'that at the beginning the Creator "made them male and female," and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.'" Matthew 19:4-6 How beautiful you are and how pleasing, my love, with your delights! - Song of Songs 7:6 Resources Unlock Your Libido: 52-Week Sex Drive Transformation by Bonny Logsdon BurnsIntimacy Revealed: 52 Devotions to Enhance Sex in Marriage by J. Parker Why Knowing Your Low Drive Spouse's Love Language Is Important - Bonny's OysterBed7 Move Mismatched Sex Drives Toward Better - Bonny's OysterBed7 Ways to Align Mismatched Sex Drives - Bonny's Oysterbed7 @Messy Marriage Helping Mismatched Sex Drives Become More Matched - Bonny's OysterBed7 Why Sex? - Bonny's OysterBed7 How to Arouse Sexual Desire Through Emotional Connection - Bonny's OysterBed7 Eliminate These to Help Grow Mismatched Sex Drives - Bonny's OysterBed7 Dear Wife, You Deserve a Great Sex Life Too - Calm.Healthy.Sexy Just Because He Stopped Asking Doesn't Mean He Stopped Wanting - Hot, Holy & Humorous Is Refusing Sex in Marriage a Sin? - Hot, Holy & Humorous Q&A with J: "What If Neither of Us Desires Sex?" - Hot, Holy & Humorous Q&A with J: I'm in a Sexless Marriage - Hot, Holy & Humorous Q&A with J: "My Sexless Marriage Is Making Me Lose My Faith in God" - Hot, Holy & Humorous Is the Church Failing Sexless Marriages? - Hot, Holy & Humorous Q&A with J: "What Can I Do About My Sexless Marriage?" Part 1 - Hot, Holy & Humorous Q&A with J: How Do I Write a Post that Helps Sexless Marriages?Q&A with J: "What Can I Do About My Sexless Marriage?" Part 2 - Hot, Holy & Humorous A Prayer for Sexless Marriages - Hot, Holy & HumorousQ&A with J: "What Can I Do About My Sexless Marriage?" Part 3 - Hot, Holy & Humorous Q&A with J: "What Can I Do About My Sexless Marriage?" Part 4 - Hot, Holy & Humorous How the Sexually Rejected Spouse Feels - Hot, Holy & Humorous How the Sexually Disinterested Spouse Feels - Hot, Holy & Humorous A Moment of Hard Truth - The Forgiven Wife Leaving a Sexless Marriage - The Forgiven Wife Living in a Nearly Sexless Marriage - The Forgiven Wife Is a Sexless Marriage a Loveless Marriage? - The Forgiven Wife Upcoming Webinar Click Here to Learn More

Episode 69: Shower Power About this episode Today we're talking about bathing and showering—not just having sex in a shower or bathtub, but the whole kit-and-caboodle. You'll see what we mean once we get started. Sponsor Click Here to Learn More From the Bible What does God have to say about sex and showers (or bathing)? Song of Songs 4:15 You are a garden fountain, a well of flowing water streaming down from Lebanon. Song of Songs 5:12-16 His eyes are like doves by the water streams, washed in milk, mounted like jewels. His cheeks are like beds of spice yielding perfume. His lips are like lilies dripping with myrrh. His arms are rods of gold set with topaz. His body is like polished ivory decorated with lapis lazuli. His legs are pillars of marble set on bases of pure gold. His appearance is like Lebanon, choice as its cedars. His mouth is sweetness itself; he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, this is my friend, daughters of Jerusalem. Resources Suave Conditioner (affiliate link) Foreplay Webinar Replay Understanding Her Sex Drive Webinar (for husbands) Married Dance shower-friendly products (affiliate link) Behind Closed Doors: 5 Marriage Stories, J. Parker Showering and Bathing Together: Why You Should Try It - Hot, Holy & Humorous 5 Tips for Shower Sex - Hot, Holy & Humorous Why She Needs Him to Shower - Hot, Holy & Humorous Feet and Sex (Pedicures can build arousal) - Bonny's OysterBed7 Episode 18: Listener Questions (includes a question about interest in feet)

About This Episode Today's listener questions are: My husband is really interested in me swallowing during oral sex. I don't get it. I honestly don't want to work up to it; it's already taken a lot of effort just to give bjs and oral sex to him. But he keeps asking. I'm not sure what to do - keep saying no, or work through my gag reflex and dislike of the smell and try it? To be honest, it kind of grosses me out even thinking of swallowing. I've tried using the gag reflex sprays too and it doesn't help much. I just need some advice. I've read in some books and blogs God's biblical design and purpose is that sex is a) for reproduction b) for pleasure c) creating intimacy - these three purposes are independent of each other — reproduction is possible without pleasure/intimacy or pleasure can be possible without procreation. -the maximum goal of the Lord is intimacy, for happiness of the couple and because marriage represents intimacy between church and Jesus So.. Do you think it's possible to have real intimacy without pleasure in sex? Like saying "if sex is not really pleasurable then intimacy is not really close" or "the greatest the pleasure the stronger the intimacy" or "a marriage can't have actual intimacy without good sex" or "no sex, no intimacy", etc. I know is a kind of strong question but I am struggling with this thought because I've read the three independent purposes of sex at some blogs/books, but I feel some explanations are missing, specially for we wives striving with orgasm or painful intercourse or trouble with arousal, so "pleasurable" is hardly a way to define sex life. Sponsor Learn About Married Dance Here (affiliate link) From the Bible In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. – Ephesians 5:28 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 I have come to my garden-my sister, my bride. I gather my myrrh with my spices. I eat my honeycomb with my honey. I drink my wine with my milk. Eat, friends! Drink, be intoxicated with love! – Song of Songs 5:1 Resources What Are the Real Purposes of Sex? – Hot, Holy & Humorous Sex's Primary Job is not Lust Management - Bonny's OysterBed7 International Pelvic Pain Society National Vulvodynia Association Finding a Good Gynecologist – Hot, Holy & Humorous Do I Have To? - The Forgiven Wife Oral Sex: Spit, or Swallow? - The Forgiven Wife Enjoying Your Husband's Semen - The Forgiven Wife Dealing with a Gag Reflex - The Forgiven Wife Goodhead Fundamentals Kit from Married Dance (affiliate link) Marital Aid Pilot Program from Married Dance (affiliate link) When It Hurts: Maintaining Sexual Intimacy While Dealing with Pain - The Forgiven Wife Maintaining Sexual Intimacy When Sex isn't Possible - Messy Marriage Dealing with Vulvovaginal Atrophy without Hormones - The Forgiven Wife Episode 65: Female Sexual Health Q&A with J: Should You Just Swallow Already? Is Giving a "Blow Job" Enjoyable for the Wife? Upcoming Webinar Understanding Her Sex Drive (for husbands) - November 14, 2019

About this episode Today we're talking about bedrooms, specifically the effect of your bedroom on the quality of sex and intimacy in your marriage. Can a couple's bedroom affect romance and/or sex in their marriage? What kinds of things about a bedroom are most likely to negatively and positively affect romance and sex? What are some simple things that wives or couples can do to improve the state of their bedroom? What could they do that costs very little or offers a lot of improvement for a little bit of effort? Sponsor FOR 10% OFF, USE COUPON CODE: SEXCHAT10 Click to Learn More From the Bible What does God have to say about the bedroom? How handsome you are, my beloved! Oh, how charming! And our bed is verdant. The beams of our house are cedars; our rafters are firs. Song of Songs 1:16-17 Resources Get Off Our Marriage Bed, Fido! - Hot, Holy & Humorous Getting a Sex-Friendly Mattress - Hot, Holy & Humorous Should You Give Your Bedroom a Makeover? - Hot, Holy & Humorous 3 Rules to Decrease Tension in the Bedroom - The Forgiven Wife

About the Episode Today we're talking about higher desire wives. But whether your sexual interest is higher or lower than your husband, you'll benefit from our conversation. Let's begin by defining "higher drive wives." Are these just wives who want an excessive amount of sex? What makes a wife higher drive or desire? The standard presumption is that husbands want sex more than their wives. Why has this message been so prevalent, and why do we need to change it? What are some reasons why husbands might have less sexual interest than their wives? What do you think lower interest spouses wish their higher desire spouses understood about their sexuality? Are higher desire wives represented anywhere in Scripture? Sponsor FOR 10% OFF, USE COUPON CODE: SEXCHAT10 Click Here to Learn More From the Bible "The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife" (1 Corinthians 7:3-4). "Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion" (1 Corinthians 7:8-9). "Let us go early to the vineyards to see if the vines have budded, if their blossoms have opened, and if the pomegranates are in bloom— there I will give you my love" (Song of Songs 7:12). "All night long on my bed I looked for the one my heart loves; I looked for him but did not find him. I will get up now and go about the city, through its streets and squares; I will search for the one my heart loves" (Song of Songs 3:1-2). Resources Episode 59: Myths We Learned from Pop Culture "Dealing with a Low-Desire Husband," Hot, Holy, and Humorous: Sex in Marriage by God's Design, J. Parker 5 Truths for High-Drive Wives - Hot, Holy & Humorous I Love My High Sex-Drive Sisters - OysterBed7 Q&A with J: When It Comes to Sex, My Husband Says I'm "Too Much" - Hot, Holy & Humorous A Prayer for Higher-Drive Wives - Hot, Holy & Humorous Q&A with J: What If Hubby Is Passive in the Bedroom - Hot, Holy & Humorous High-Drive Wives Are Not Crockpots - Hot, Holy & Humorous A Letter to the Low-Drive Husband - Hot, Holy & Humorous Hot, Holy & Humorous HD, Facebook group for higher desire wives Click Here to Register or Learn More

About the Episode Today, we are discussing female genital and reproductive health. What we affectionately call "hooha" health. What are some issues that women have in terms of genital or reproductive health? Focusing on the vulva and exterior lady parts, what kinds of things are red flags that someone should see the doctor? Thinking about our internal reproductive organs (vagina, cervix, uterus), what are some red flags? Now let's shift focus and talk about sexually transmitted infections and diseases. What other practical suggestions for remaining intimate with health problems or STI/STD can you offer? Sponsor Click Here to Learn More about Everpillow From the Bible "God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." 2 Corinthians 5:21. "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:8-10. "Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well." 3 John 1:2. Resources Sexually Transmitted Diseases - Center of Disease Control Little Known Perimenopause Symptom (Unending Period) - OysterBed7 Is an STD Affecting Your Marriage - Hot, Holy, & Humorous No More Period, Period. - Hot, Holy & Humorous (on endometrial ablation) Finding a Good Gynecologist - Hot, Holy & Humorous Dealing with Vulvovaginal Atrophy Without Hormones - The Forgiven Wife 13 Things I Heard at a Sexual Wellness Class - The Forgiven Wife An Embarrassing Post about Female Sexual Dysfunction (Plus 5 Tips!) - The Forgiven Wife Azo Urinary Pain Relief (affiliate link) Monistat - Miconazole Vaginal Antifungal for yeast infection (affiliate link) Clotrimazole Vaginal Antifungal for yeast infection (affiliate link) Sliquid Feminine Wash from Marriage Spice (affiliate link) Bump Patrol After Shave Serum (affiliate link) Dr. Smith's cream (affiliate link) Click Here to Register or Learn More

Episode 64: Healing from Sexual Abuse, with Mary DeMuth Many of our listeners are survivors of sexual abuse, or we know someone who is. We'd like to talk today about how that trauma shapes survivors, how it affects their marriages, what healing looks like, and what we can do as the church to support survivors. We are joined by Mary DeMuth, an advocate, author, and survivor herself. Mary has a new book coming out August 13: We Too: How the Church Can Respond Redemptively to the Sexual Abuse Crisis. Sponsor Use coupon code SEXCHAT10 for 10% off. Learn more about Everpillow by Infinite Moon From the Bible What does God have to say about healing and sexual abuse? Luke 4:17-21 - . . . and the scroll of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. Unrolling it, he found the place where it is written:"The Spirit of the Lord is on me,because he has anointed meto proclaim good news to the poor.He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisonersand recovery of sight for the blind,to set the oppressed free, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." Then he rolled up the scroll, gave it back to the attendant and sat down. The eyes of everyone in the synagogue were fastened on him. He began by saying to them, "Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing." Luke 10:25-37 - The Good Samaritan The Book of Job Genesis 1:2 - Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. Resources (Includes affiliate links) Buy the book - We Too: How the Church Can Respond Redemptively to the Sexual Abuse Crisis What is C-PTSD? - Beauty After Bruises WeToo.org 5 free healing books with We Too preorder by August 12, 2019 WeToo resource list Not Marked, by Mary DeMuth Mary DeMuth's website GRACE (Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment) Healing from Sexual Trauma - The Forgiven Wife Are We Afraid of #ChurchToo? - Hot, Holy & Humorous Why Abuse in the Church Makes Me Crazy - Hot, Holy & Humorous For Husbands of Sexual Abuse Survivors: Insights from Patrick DeMuth - The Forgiven Wife